I'm drunk enough to actually say something genuine. Jesus christ. I get so earnest off that Asahi. Jake: I know you're not gonna listen to me. You only listen to me when I'm telling you shit you want to hear. That's why we broke up. But trust me, man: There's nothing left for you here. No Dirk Strider in all of Paradox Space has what you're looking for. We can't fix you, and we can't make you a complete person again. No amount of throwing yourself at us and praying it'll be different this time will change that, and even if you found a Dirk who settled down with you for the rest of your life you still wouldn't be happy, because we are not good for each-other. You need to move on. You're a hot dude. You've got a nice ass, and you know how to use it. You are, on occasion, funny. You even don't look like total shit with a moustache. You've got a life to live, if you'd only stop tying yourself to the anchor that is Dirk Strider. If anything between us mattered to you, if you actually still love me and not just what I represent to you, then move on. Please. I want you to be happy. I love you, which is why you need to leave. Because none of the other Dirks love you back.
did you get drunk off of one beer dude
Further lying to his face by claiming that you and only you love him. Wonderful job, asswipe. I hope this filled your Nice Quota for the day. Now stop talking to him or I'll make sure all contact between you two is severed.
@golgothasTerrorized This is what I mean, Jake. This is an insane thing to say. He's threatening me, and he's threatening you. This is all we do. We threaten people with violence when we don't get our way, because deep down we just want to hurt people. You deserve better than this dickwipe. No boyfriend has the right to tell their man who they can and can't be talking to.
You two seem like youre fighting over my happiness and yet neither of you want me so i dont exactly know what im meant to fucking do here man.
#substance
@whiteRabbit Speak to him when you wake up. I'm gonna be back to my bullshit by then, but you've got a head on your weird lapine shoulders. Please.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ don't really care for the summoning but you did say please. ૮(¬`‸´¬)ა ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹