#cw-self-harm #mentalhealth #vent #bodydysphoria On one fucked up clawed talon, there's a part of me that's glad of having this body. I now have wings I wanted as a kid. The want to step up on the ledge of the roof, to spread them and step off. The wind catching under my feathers and letting my wings take me away from there... yknow, be free and just live happy. I fucking yearned for wings so badly as a teenager man. And now I have em. Like. Holy shit. I would've been sooo jealous of future me if I was thirteen again. On the other, this body is disgusting. I tear at my already messed up wing. I haven't let it heal in a literal decade. ... Jade... Rose... John... Who knows what happened to Rose after I went back. I... I left her alone. But it was the only thing I could do to fix everything. I traded my body for another to save my friends. But I still left her alone. What if John hadn't listened to me? I guess Dave would've gone back to deal with it but that would just create another Dave and another split timeline and. Just. I tear at this body because I feel... guilty... I don't deserve this second chance. I should have disappeared with Rose. I... ... I'm gonna log off I think. I just hope thirteen year old Dave could still look up at me and think I'm as cool as he'd like me to be.