The Cosmonaut
@veiledTruancy
Joseph Bellamy. Only ever passing through.
Got stuck in a hell dimension there for a sec
Woke up stupendously early. Fucked up.
"It's 5 o'clock somewhere" takes on a whole new meaning when you're a multidimensional traveler
I say as if I haven't been hitting the bottle before noon on the regular since 1907
The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe said I wasn't allowed to make a follow up joke
I've gone too long without mentioning my The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe. Anyway he had such delicate hands too, once. Long fingers, soft palms like he never worked a hard day in his life
Guy at this bar has the most delicate hands I've seen in a long ass time Pretty sure if you asked him to open a bottle he'd hit me with the big wet eyed stare and ask me to do it instead
and to be completely clear I would I'm not heartless but Christ
Yeah I don't think I'm legally allowed to weigh in on this conversation
Some of you have never had a lover like this and frankly, it shows.
The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe says hi btw
What he actually said was "Will you stop talking about me on that God-forsaken website for five fucking minutes" But that basically means hi.
Ya know, I really wasn't gonna say anything cuz it feels a bit hypocritical comin from the guy who walks around with the skull of his dead husband chattering ghost attached. But actually, honey, seeing that one's just depressing.
Like at least my love life isn't just a macabre puppet show ykwim like there's something in there.
Damn this city's breakfast options are ass
I never recommend opening random doors that appear before you on the street in the twilight hours Unless you're me then you can do whatever you want
At least most times it's probably fine in my experience.
Emphasis on probably I'm a god or some shit of doors so like it's fine for me actually
I just don't think The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe should be able to psychically knock me out and make me sleep
just give yꙮurself the super wizard insꙮmnia curse - The Mystical Potion Seller Guy Man
It takes a lot out of him so it only happens once in a while. But it's damn annoying when it does
The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe is mad at me again.
✨🍭🕷️ what did you do also can you tell him i asked you "what did you do" i want him to know i'm a skull's girl 🕷️🍭✨
In any case, I find this other him attractive and he is mad about it.
It's okay you're allowed to @ me, lil man. In any case, I'll clarify with a I ain't a woman-beater either.
.png)
More to that point, I ain't ever laid hands on anyone I kept in my bed in that way.
I'm a sack of shit at the best of times, but at least I ain't a wife-beater.
<action; statement input; statement: my pan errored & processed 'david' as 'dead' & i was very happy unti| it corrected the word />
𝄞 ✧ ♩ am very sorry for your ♪oss, dearest ♪♩a♪y♩. ♩ trust the t♩me w♩♪♪ come for h♩m soo♫.
My brother can't handle my superior Joseph aura.
Ask and ye shall receive (begrudgingly). [Attached is a video file titled "song request.mp4. In it, Joseph stands across from his phone, which is propped up on what appears to be a side table. He is dressed the same as in his last photo, with the same neutral if slightly uamused look. The only difference is that he is carefully holding a human skull with one hand, its jaw still attached. It appears lightly browned with age but is otherwise clean. He looks at the skull for a moment, before saying "Go on, then," in a gravelly baritone, his American accent strangely stilted. At this prompting, the Skull in his hands begins to rattle, at first just side to side, and then its jaw begins to move, rapidly clacking its teeth together with a tktktktktking sound. Joseph responds with a "Are you going to make liars of us both?" The skull seems to consider the question before at last, finally. It begins its song. Sort of. It is not exactly singing, let alone music. Just a rhytmic clattering of the skull's teeth, and you can almost, almost pick out the beats or "Ol MacDonald". Or at least, some iteration of it. When at last the skeleton finishes its performance, Joseph gives the camera a rare, wicked looking smile and says "There you have it" before reaching forward and stopping the recording]
✨🍭🕷️ YOUR CHATTERING SKULL IS SO BEAUTIFUL. TELL HIM I SAY HI. CAN I NAME MY NON-CHATTERING SKULL AFTER HIM IT'S MADE FROM THE REMAINS OF ANCIENT BEASTS (#plastic) 🕷️🍭✨
Happy to have provided this service for you. Also he says thank you, hello, and "perhaps but that depends on which name you plan to use" (He doesn't approve of my use of The Nefarious Chattering Skull Which I Carry With Me Through Every Universe)
Joseph B. B is for better in every way btw
