#law
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! actually your highblood this exhibit is HIGHLY relevant. the jury cannot be asked to make an informed decision on the verdict without first being asked to consider "would that be fucked up or what" #law
DIRECT EXAMINATION! how many hearsay exceptions can YOU find in the following statement made by my witness? answers will be posted tomorrow! FWD: TESTIMONY! "...Th@t's when the defend@nt's employee told me: Doctor, ! Th!nk !'m Dy!ng." #law
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! your highblood do you want me to list the hearsay exceptions my witness' statement falls under alphabetically or by exception number? #law
PROFFER! your highblood my witness was just getting to the good part actually if opposing counsel can shut the fuck up for like a single second & let me LAY SOME FUCKING FOUNDATION #law
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! your highblood my witness' testimony actually falls under hearsay exception 804(b)(3)(a) because it makes them sound like a total fucking loser & im frankly a little embarrassed to have called them to the st& but their testimony is still completely admissible & useful so we might as well keep going ᴹ:/ #law
CLOSING STATEMENT! no your highblood im not done yet. i absolutely finished padding out my closing arguments during trial haha furthermore. members, of the jury. when you go to the jury deliberation chamber of doom... i want you to keep in mind three things. one, that the prosecution carries the burden in today's case. two, that they are operating under the highest burden in our legal system. three insider trading is not that big of a deal like do you actually care about that like even if they managed to prove every element beyond a reasonable doubt do you think that's worth voting guilty over? h...Read more
POINT OF ORDER! your highblood i have it in good faith belief that opposing counsel should shut the fuck up if they know what's good for them #law
OBJECTION! as to substantially more prejudicial than probative. your highblood if i may be heard? opposing counsel's current line of questioning about """"safety measures"""" really has no probative value whatsoever and is trying to elicit testimony from their witness SOLELY to inflame the passions of the jury, #law
READING ONTO THE RECORD! as we all know the four aspects of negligence are duty, breach, causation, and damages. which is easy to remember because of the mnemonic "don't be a cunt, daniel". and i just want it to be known, to be stated for the record, that most breaches of duty are actually like fine and the jury doesn't need to care and a lot of the time damages are boring. and really i also think causation is hard to prove because there are an infinite amount of other timelines so who is to say why anything happens. so anyways as someone currently defending a country club against a negligence charge and ...Read more
POINT OF ORDER! listen so maybe the - violetblood, so this is actually going to trial - decedent's death was objectively pretty terrible and maybe my clients did not put a lot of effort into preventing it. but also have you considered that he was kind of stupid and probably drinking on the job? what did skylar "the decedent" sincar ever do for you anyway huh #law
REBUTTAL! members of the jury i know opposing counsel just got up here and said some meaningless bullshit to you about "preponderance" and "evidence" and "justice" but listen. it's ok. u dont have to take any of that shit into account. when you get into the jury deliberation chamber and the only thing from trial that really made an impression on you is that the defendant has bad vibes... that's enough. you are enough. you can vote liable. it's okay. you can do this. #inspiring #law
RE: OBJECTION TO HEARSAY! your highblood this statement falls under "dying declaration" and therefore is an exception to hearsay under 804(b)(2) and admissible in courtblock today despite being an out of court statement being offered for the truth if the matter. yes your highblood i understand that the individual being quoted here is still alive however i was going to pay someone a lot of money to track them down and cull them during recess so it should still count. er my condolences to the defendant i suppose cross examination can't be a fun time to find out your matesprit is going to die #law
OBJECTION! as to speculation. if i may be heard? your highblood seeing as the defendant is a little bitch their testimony just now about not being scared inherently requires them to delve into the mindset of others; i.e. someone who is not a little bitch. motion to strike offending testimony from the record? #law
|< l€gal tip; in ord€r to hav€ a prop€r alibi for buck€t tamp€ring you will n€€d to buy a v€ry sp€cific kind of paint only h€ld by th€ clown church #law
|< cas€ of th€ day. labor disput€. mustard blood against r€al blood for salary disput€. hish highn€ss d€cid€d to s€ttl€ it with a rap strif€. and as always i cam€ packing h€at. #law
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! tonight i am putting together a lawsuit against His Honorable Tyranny, my district's head judge. ideally this case will be overseen by like a different judge but i can make it happen regardless. the charge is for workplace mistreatment because courtblock recess is always too short (to play #tmtg. so uh i guess if any other legislacerators, any bailiffs, any justiceradicators, sterrornographers, etc other court employees would like to contribute testimony or be called as witnesses please reply to this post or send me a DM #law
FWD: SOME SHIT OPPOSING COUNSEL JUST SAID! "your highblood i don't know what objection to make about this but can filigree please stop throwing rocks at stars witness while i am cross examining him" okay first of all bitch you mean point of order regarding decorum second of all thank you for using my neopronouns most people dont and THIRD of all shut the fuck up but fourth of all yes your highblood im done throwing rocks my client got the point by now we're good dont call the bailiff on me ive killed too many bailiffs already #law #relatable
POINT OF ORDER! new drinking game take a shot every time you hear "hearsay is an out of court statement being used for the truth of the matter asserted" #law
POINT OF ORDER! yes your highblood i am the legislacerator that filed to sue a grub but i'm not seeing how that's relevant to *today's* trial. why do you ask #law #justiceforcrotalsass
SIDEBAR! your highblood can opposing counsel please clarify if they ever actually passed the fucking bar because i doubt it #law
OBJECTION! your highblood opposing counsel failed to properly establish the prongs of 702, they have laid no alternate foundation as to their witness' expertise, therefore their witness is not qualified to say jack shit about my client's hat and whether or not it is actually ugly as hell and i want that OFF the record #law
READING ONTO THE RECORD! just because you did it doesn't mean you're guilty! consult with Hallowen & Co. law offices today #law #ad
|< is it moral to blam€ my cli€nt's probl€ms on th€ir lusus? no. it sur€ is €ff€ctiv€ though. #d€fl€ctiv€guilt #law
《 My muscle memory makes me wonder to the broken coffee machine at the courtblock, there's others sure but I don't want to climb back down to the entrance when I'm already up here.. you'd think they'd fix it. #law #coffeeissues 》
READING ONTO THE RECORD! all my haters become negotiators when they face my hostage situation of success #business #law
|< a cas€ for anyon€ willing to inv€stigat€. th€ fourth floor coff€€ machin€ didnt just br€ak. it was brok€n. murd€r. |< it would s€€m as if som€on€ stuff€d pi€s all ov€r th€ back of th€ machin€, clogging compl€t€ly th€ v€ntilation syst€m of th€ machin€. |< th€y suffocat€d th€ coff€€ provid€r. with pi€s. |< it do€s not bl€€d but for th€ wast€d coff€€ and th€ drops of cr€am. |< i d€mand justic€, a culprit must b€ found #murd€r #law
I think I should rrequest to be sent on a harrderr case afterr I'm done with this one; its just 1 grrey rrock and minorr fugitive afterr anotherr, It could do me good to hunt down a rreal active crriminal and not just some guy who committed one offense and dashed; maybe even look forr a case wherre the culprrit is still unknown?? #law
SIDEBAR! the only downside to being moots with other legislacerators on here is that by the power of networking in a fairly small field there's a very high chance someone will eventually recognize me vagueposting about them because i love chitting when opposing counsel is being stupid. well if they want to sue me over it they're welcome to fucking try #law
|< cli€nt of th€ day. lusus disput€ b€tw€€n gold bloods. €ach claim€d th€ own€rship ov€r th€ lusus on a p€rsonal l€v€l and not in th€ shar€kind th€ cas€ was r€solv€d wh€n th€ir waspb€ast straight at€ on€ of th€ claimants. luckily it wasnt my cli€nt. #law #l€galcas€ #lususcar€
《 A lot of my mind right now, it's like my desk. Cluttered with case notes and tears. #law #relatable maybe? 》
《 Haven't made a post like this yet but if anyone needs representing against tough odds, I'm always here to lend an arm of justice. #law #advertise #lowbloodrights #lowbloodjustice 》
|< do€s th€ clurch €njoy tax €x€mptions #g€nuin€qu€stion #law
|< i shouldnt drunk this much coff€€ but th€n again p€opl€ shouldnt commit so many crim€s so bluntly and y€t h€r€ w€ ar€ #law
|< your highn€ss r€sp€ctibly you w€r€nt €v€n th€r€ #law
|< and som€ say th€ swords ar€ mighti€r than th€ quill. not in th€ courtblock. i always k€€p my quillkind sharp. th€ bad n€ws ar€ i n€€d to cl€an up my suit. #strif€ #trialbycombat #law
|< gog i n€€d a n€w s€ason of law & ord€r: subjuggulator slop €j€vulatory unit #law #s€ri€s
|< cli€nt walks in and start talking about th€ir multiplan€tary tax €vasion sch€m€. this troll would b€ brilliant wasn't it th€ fact that h€ got caught. #law
《 Another day where I wake up late and with my palmhusk filled with notifications from a multitude of people.. gonna be a long day today- let's hope this trial goes well with the evidence I found yesterday... these late day file organizations are going to kill me. #thegrindcontinues #law 》
《 Just had a strife with some pompous teal over some case notes and evidence transfer, waste of time and blood over such an easily negotiable thing. Talk about putting yourself on a high horse... (I won with a nasty uppercut btw!) #strife #law #tealblooddrama 》
《 Back to work, let's see if there's any cases to pluck. #law #justiceforall 》
|< th€y back€d down. iftola on€, courtroom z€ro. chaching. #law
|< right so l€t m€ g€t this straight. |< you train for a sw€€p a moob€ast to go to c€rtain plac€s and wh€n in dang€r com€ back. |< in ord€r to lur€ back your €x quadrant. |< to ask th€m to com€ back with you |< and if th€y r€fus€ you su€ th€m, |< i don't g€t paid €nough for this #law #publicd€f€nd€rlif€
《 Can people who pay me to throw cases be considered bribery? Will look into this... #law 》
|< th€ oliv€ was having an affair. |< th€ own€r of th€ land was his pr€vious moirail. |< com€ on. #law
|< oh now th€y wanna hav€ a d€al of mutual accord |< this is gonna b€ fun #law
《 Update - Breakthrough - whatever. I just found the complete mothergrub of evidence, I will DEFINITELY win this regardless of this highbloods influence. #canthelpbutfeelsmug #law 》
|< th€ p€rsonal accusation wants to bring th€ lusus to court. you can't mak€ this up. #law #whobringsalusustoacourtcas€ #winnabl€?
《 Oh my gog, of course the culprits a highblood. Gonna have to work overtime for this one if I want justice to prevail, at least the initial investigation is going smoothly - thanks to the efforts of my moirail and friends. #law #toughbreak 》
|< its probably fin€ if i su€ first and th€n ask lat€r for a pr€trial pact right #law #mayb€imisfir€d #imnotg€ttingpaidtodayar€nti