Naturally, I w9n't 6e participating in any pers9nal rankings, n9r will I 6e inquiring as t9 my ranking 9n @scratchD9ct9r's list. As I've said every time the c9ncept 9f ranking 9ther users starts trending (side n9te: we d9 this every tw9 weeks, surely y9u're 69red 9f rankings 6y n9w), s9rting pe9ple in an ar6itrary list with the s9le purp9se 9f judging them 6ased 9n meaningless criteria is detr9llanizing (dehumanizing, decheru6izing, etc.) and psych9l9gically invalidating, and leads t9 n9thing 6ut hurt feelings and 9ffense. D9 6etter. #Rankings #Antirankings #WeighingIn9nTrendingT9pics
Well.
ATTENTION, INSUFFERABLE BOSS BA(LL)BY. THE CHALKBOX IS ABOUT TO BECOME A CHALKPIPEBOMB. STAND BY.
I w9uld l99k respecta6le and mature wearing a little frilly apr9n, thank y9u very much. Just 6ecause, in this hyp9thetical situati9n, I w9uld 6e wearing s9mething frilly and cute d9es n9t give y9u permissi9n t9 9verl99k what it is that I'm saying. A pers9n's w9rds d9 n9t suddenly h9ld less value just 6ecause 9f what they wear. It w9uld serve y9u well t9 start paying attenti9n t9 the c9ntent 9f my p9sts and t9 st9p imagining me in cl9thes.
NEW PINNED. THANK YOU KANKRI.
im gonna stop imagining you in clothes right nowv
NEVER WILL YOU CEASE TO DRIVE ME TO THE SIZZLING BRINK OF HIVESHIT LUNACY WHENEVER YOU MAKE ME DO THIS. IT WILL NEVER CUT WITH LESS SERRATED OF A RUSTY, TETANUS-CRUSTED EDGE. I WILL NEVER GROW NUMB TO THE AGONY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH NOVACAINE I SQUEEZE INTO THAT FESTERING, MAGGOT-SPAWNING WOUND. IT IS WITH NOTHING BUT THE PUREST, WHITE-HOT, FULL-BORE PLATONIC HATRED THAT I SAY, ONCE AGAIN. I AGREE WITH YOU, KANKRI. AS IN I AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM MY WORKPLACE AS TROLLISHLY POSSIBLE. I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE THE MENIAL NIGHT LABOR OF A NINE-TO-FIVE WHERE BOTH NINE AND FIVE ARE THEORETICAL POINTS AT THE END OF AN ASYMPTOTIC TIME HALLWAY THAT YOU CAN SPRINT THROUGH AT FULL TILT UNTIL YOU'RE A RAW, RAGGED PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR, AND YOU STILL WON'T BE ANY CLOSER TO THE END. I'M NOT SAYING IT BECAUSE THE COWORKERS ARE SO CEASELESSLY AGGRAVATING THAT THEY WOULD MAKE A BOX GRATER RASPED BETWEEN TWO CACOPHONOUS LENGTHS OF RUSTY CHAIN SOUND LIKE TROLL FUCKING TCHAIKOVSKY IN COMPARISON TO THE CLOT-BLEEDING BANTER I'M FORCED TO LISTEN TO DAY IN, DAY IN, DAY IN, AND SO ON AND SO FORTH AD INFINITUM. AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE THE POLISHED, BLEACH-WHITENED SHAME GLOBE WHO RUNS THIS COCKAMAMIE CIRCUS TENT WILL GRIND DOWN WHATEVER SELF-RIGHTEOUS STUMP OF THE CONCEPT OF MORAL INTEGRITY YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU HAD. IT'S BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO A BITCHLY, PUSHERFLAYED MURDER-FUJO, TROLL P.T. BARNUM'S SLEEP PARALYSIS SIDESHOW ACT, THE ORIGINAL TENURED BALL-PROFESSOR EVER TO DROP THIRTY TEXTBOOKS ON THE SUBJECT OF THE HISTORY OF HIGH TEA AT THE IVY-LEAGUE UNIVERSITY OF WHO-GIVES-A-FUCK-STATE, AND THE GREEN PISS-AND-SHIT FACTORY IN SUSPENDERS WHO WRITES THE CHECKS (FOR, YOU GUESSED IT, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING *NOTHING*), AND *THEN* I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR IN-FUCKING-TOLERABLE DRIVEL ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT? I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO START CALLING MY VEGETATIVE, SPONGE-DEAD HUSK "DR." VANTAS, WHEN I'M AWARDED A PRIZE FOR MOST EFFICIENT SOLUTION TO THE MOST INSUFFERABLE BITCH-AND-MOANER OF ALL PARADOX SPACE. SO PLEASE. FOR YOUR SAKE. FOR MY SAKE. FOR THE SAKE OF ANYONE TO EVER DEVELOP THE BAREBONES LITERACY TO PARSE YOUR 24/7 DEULGE OF NAIVE, OBLIVIOUS BULLSHIT, WHICH ISN'T THAT MANY PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE CONSIDERING HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT REPLYING WITH "I'M NOT READING ALL THAT" TO ONE OF SCRATCH'S POSTS IS SOMEHOW ANYTHING BUT A THIRD-DEGREE SELF-BURN. FOR THE FUCKING MORONS' SAKE, TOO. STAY. THE FUCK. AWAY. FROM THE FELT. I WILL LITERALLY PAY YOU IN VANTAS CLAN WACKY FUN BUCKS TO NEVER EVEN CONSIDER IT. FUNGIBLE ONLY IN THE PROUD, DEMOCRATIC STATE OF VANTASTAN. WHERE I WILL ELECT YOU TO AN HONORARY GUBERNATORIAL POSITION. IF YOU NEVER LISTEN TO A WORD OF THAT MINISKIRT-CLAD HARPY'S SARDONIC SCREECHING ABOUT HOW BADLY SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU IM HER WORK UNIFORM. WHICH SHE DOESN'T, BECAUSE SHE LOSES INTEREST FASTER THAN A WIGGLER WHOSE LUSUS JUST STOPPED JINGLING THE KEYS. I LITERALLY DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE MYSELF CLEARER THAN I ALREADY HAVE, SO I'LL SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO SLAUGHTERING THE LAST OF THE TIME ROACHES. JUST KNOW. I WARNED YOU CLUTCHMATE. I TOLD YOU, BARKBEAST. I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING FELT.
Thank y9u, Cr9nus. I'm happy t9 kn9w that at least 9ne pers9n in this thread regards my w9rds with care. I h9pe y9u can pr9ve t9 6e a g99d influence 9n Damara and that s9me 9f y9ur integrity can ru6 9ff 9n Damara the same way that I have ru66ed 9ff 9n y9u.
i hope so too. wve can all rub off on each other vwhile respectfully not imagining each other in clothes
HHHOH MGY GOD
THANK YOU. KUDOS.