sO, i WOULD HAVE, pREFERRED TO MAKE THIS INTO, a VIDEO, mAYBE WITH MY, uKULELE, bUT THE OIL, iRREPARABLY DAMAGED THE, cAMERA ON MY, pALMHUSK SO, tHIS WILL HAVE TO DO, uMM, wELL i PROMISED, mY FANS THAT, i WOULD NOT, gET INJURED, tONIGHT AT #eRIDANwEEK, aND, wOULD INDEED, bE IN THE #sPLASHzONE, sAFE AND SECURE WITH, mY GOGGLES AND, bULLETPROOF, vEST BUT, aS CIRCUMSTANCES, hAD IT, i DECIDED TO ARRIVE, rEALLY EARLY SO AS TO, gET A GOOD SEAT, tHOUGH i GUESS, mY TICKET PROMISED ME, a vip SEAT, sO, iN RETROSPECT THAT WAS, pOINTLESS, bUT, iT WAS SEVERAL HOURS, bEFORE EVERYTHING, aND NO ONE, wAS REALLY THERE, sO i DECIDED TO, eXPLORE A BIT LIKE, a BACKSTAGE TOUR, aND, aFTER, sCAMPERING UP THE RAFTERS LIKE A NUTSTEALERBEAST, i WAS LOOKING IN AWE AT, tHE VARIOUS VATS, aND BARRELS AND, iN MY EXCITEMENT, sLIPPED AND FELL, iNTO ONE, aND WAS, pRETTY BANGED UP BUT, i FELT FINE ENOUGH BUT, i COULDN'T GET OUT, oF THE VAT AND, nO ONE WAS AROUND TO HEAR MY SCREAMING AND, bY TIME ANYONE ELSE WAS, aROUND, mY VOICE WAS HOARSE, aND SO, tHEY COULD NOT HEAR ME AND THEN, tHEY STARTED POURING IN THE OIL, wHICH WAS, pRETTY HOT, aND, vERY DENSE, oR MAYBE, tHE OPPOSITE OF DENSE, wHICHEVER ONE MAKES IT, hARD, tO GET OUT OF, aND SO, wHILE MY GOGGLES, lUCKILY, pROTECTED MY EYES, tHOUGH, oIL STARTED LEAKING INTO THEM, aFTER, a FEW MINUTES, i WAS, sTUCK IN THERE FOR, sEVERAL HOURS, aND HAD TO WAIT FOR, tHE OIL TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO, tHE COMPETITORS AND, aUDIENCE, lUCKILY, tHE OIL SEEMED TO BE OF A SIMILAR, cOMPOSITION TO, sOPOR SLIME, sO i WAS FINE, bREATHING IT BUT, iT TASTED REALLY BAD, aND, KIND OF STAINED MY SKIN, a BIT, bUT ANYWAYS, i DID EVENTUALLY, mANAGE TO CLIMB OUT, bY, uSING HARDENED OIL DEPOSITS, oN THE SIDES AS, hANDHOLDS, bUT THEN, aFTER i DID GET TO THE TOP, i FELL, aND LANDED RIGHT, oN MY BUTT, hURTING MY, bUTTBONE, wHATEVER THAT ONE, iS CALLED, aND THEN, aFTER i GOT OUT, i SLIPPED A BIT, aND HIT MY HEAD ON A TABLE, bUT, oVERALL i WAS, pRETTY FINE, aND THEN, sOMEONE THREW A FOLDING CHAIR, wHICH HIT MY HEAD AND, cONCUSSED ME BADLY, sO i DID, eND UP GETTING HURT, dESPITE MY PROMISES, aND i AM SOMEONE WHO, lIKES TO TRY TO STAY TRUE, tO HIS PROMISES, sO, i AM VERY SORRY FOR, gETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH, a CHAIR, aT #eRIDANwEEK, aND ALSO FOR, mISSING THE CHANCE TO TALK, tO ANYONE AT, tHE rUMBLE bUMPIN' uGLY pUMPKINS, eVENT, i AM, sORRY, aND i WILL, tRY TO DO BETTER IN, tHE FUTURE, tHANK YOU, #aPOLOGYvIDEO
oH, iT'S OKAY, tHE wOKE hIGHBLOOD, pROTECTED ME, bODILY, i FORGOT TO MENTION, tHAT PART,
that is pretty woke of him. he is officially the one good cllown
