The Apostate
@arrogantGuerilla
The Empire will devour you soul and all
DESPITE EVERYTHING, I DO MISS THAT SALTY OLD BASTARD.
OH GREAT, THE GREAT GREEN GHOST IS POSTING AGAIN. JUST WHAT I NEEDED.
Wait a God damn moment, is your profile picture Johnny God damn silverhand, respect if it is.
Oh nothing, I was seeing things.
No of course not, that would be weird.
GOOD NIGHT, CHITTR. BLOW UP YOUR LOCAL LEGISLACERATOR'S HIVE.
tHIS IS, mY cHITTR HOT TAKE, mAYBE BUT, i THINK i WOULD FEEL WEIRD, bEING W1TH SOMEONE WHO, kEEPS POSTING ABOUT, "GIRL BULGE," (aND i AM NOT TAGGING THAT, oN PURPOSE), aLL THE TIME, i WOULD GET, aNXIOUS ABOUT IT, i THINK LIKE, wOULD THEY STILL LIKE ME, aND WANT TO BE WITH ME, iF MY HORMONES, aFFECTED 1T OR, iF i GOT BOTTOM SURGERY OR, eVEN IF i JUST, dON'T PUT OUT AND, g1VE THEM ACCESS TO IT? aND DO NOT, sTART TALKING TO ME, iN THE COMMENTS ABOUT, tROLL BIOLOGY BECAUSE, i KNOW, yOU KNOW, wHAT i MEAN, yOU KNOW? #NSFW #isHOULDnOTbEsURPRISED #tHATbEINGoBJECTIFIEDcOMES #wITHbE1NGawOMAN
i AM BASICALLY, tHE REALEST MOTHERFUCKER, wHO EVER WAS,
yeah totally. what about your #girlheart / #girlpusher / #girlhappiness / #girlwhatever. #girlunconditionalpositiveregard even.
! at all in the wrong && s||ry if thats something you had(to deal(with)); // just straight up fetishizing there;; #nsfw
i MEAN, nOT D1RECTLY, oN HERE ANYWAYS, iT HAPPENS SOMETIMES AT, tHE PLACES i GO OUT TO BUT, tHANK YOU, aNYWAYS!
SOMEWHERE ACROSS THE VAST EXPANSE OF SPACETIME. A RUSTBLOODED BITCH WITH PURE HATE IN HER HEART IS LISTENING TO THE BIGGEST CULLBAIT HIT EVER ILLEGALLY RECORDED ON BEFORUS.
IMAGINE THINKING A BITCH LIKE CROCKER COULD GET BODIED BY JUST AN EXPLOSIVE VEST. HOPEPILLED MANIAC. UTTERLY INSANE. #VIOLENCE
I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME SHE GAVE ME. MAYBE IT NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED.
LETS BUILD NUCLEAR WEAPONS WITH PAPA.
3> Ok. Wya? <3
No one ever quite understood me this way llike you.
Oh no. Royall remains lleft to rot. Can we get a two for one?
VERY MOUTHY FOR ONE WITH *THAT* TITLE.
OH, FUNNY, CROCKER IS PANDERING TO HER LOWLY SUBJECTS.
SAME AS IT EVER WAS.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE.MORTIFYING THAN LOOKING AT THE EARLY POSTS OF THE DAY AND SEEING AN OLD FUCK YOU KNOW FLAPPING THEIR GUMS AND GETTING THE NETNATIVES ALL STIRRED UP.
I shoulld have expected to see you here. Allways so much to prattlle on about.
Of course. I passed much of my best on to you. Not commitment, though, unfortunatelly.
This may the be the strangest message you'll ever receive but I do hope you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say. To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented funnyman art as gifts) draw some funnyman other than Ron Swanson for you. The reason I ask this is that Ron Swanson is my fiance, and we're planning on getting married next June or July should everything go as planned financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding chapel that will let me marry someone that most people would consider a fictional character. Now before you go thinking "This girl is either completely crazy or just screwing with me." please hear me out on this. You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Ron Swanson. I have been for about 11 months now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my Ronny. By that I mean I don't date anyone else, I don't sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the stache I adore. I love him with all my heart and I'm 100% committed to that love. To express my love in a real tangible way I have a beautiful hand made custom Ron Swanson plushie that I can hug, kiss, cuddle up in bed to go to sleep with at night, and take out on the town to do all the fun things together that normal couples do. I take him out to eat at nice carnivorous restaurants, we go shopping together, I take him out for scotch, we do social activities together like hanging out with friends, seeing movies, etc. And I talk about him as if he is Ron, because to me he very much is. When I look at him I see Ron Swanson. When I talk with him I'm talking with Ron. When I hold him in my arms and kiss him there are no doubts in my mind that it's the funnyman I love who's lips are pressed against mine. And every morning when I open my eyes and see his head on the pillow next to mine, with his gorgeous furry lip staring back at me, I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart, funny, handsome, and all around wonderful as him. All my friends and the people who know me well say that my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable, but from the outside perspective of someone who doesn't know me you're probably going "Wow. That's pretty damn crazy." and wondering why I don't just go get a real husband. The truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I've been around. A few short relationships, one that lasted 7 years, and a total of 6 different sexual partners. So my love for Ron isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships, I just fell in love with him and my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I'm totally happy with my love and my relationship. It may seem weird to you, but it fils me with joy every single day of my life and I've never been happier. So what if it's weird? If it makes me happy and it doesn't hurt anyone then where's the problem? I don't think there is one, and anyone who knows me well will tell you the same. Now your probably wondering why I'm telling you all this and how it concerns you. To you I'm sure Ron Swanson is just a cartoon character you think is really hot, so I imagine you wouldn't think anything of having your friends draw sexually explicit art of him as birthday gifts for you. And hey, I think he's really attractive too so I get where you're coming from there. I often go on pawneepussy.net and Rule34.Paheal to see what new erotic art people have drawn of him. But to me he's more than a sitcom character who's sexually attractive, he's my fiance who I love with all my heart and soon to be my husband. So it's been bothering me lately every time I go on those sites and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my man in various sexual situations with the same person over and over, and that person happens to be you. Don't get me wrong here though, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Ron is just as faithful to me as I am to him, he's actually sitting on the couch next to me reading while I type this. He's very real to me and I know he's not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some famous artist. And I do respect your talent as an artist and an artist's creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that's cool. What bothers me is that in all these birthday images you've been getting Ron is always depicted as if he was your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a collar with your name on it or with a speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest he was your property. And I know quite well that Ron Swanson is not your plaything nor your property, he's my fiance. So that bugs me a bit. What I find really loathsome though is your pension for degrading my partner in both your art and the fan art you've been receiving lately. Ron is a sweet and fairly vanilla little man who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and he definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes being dressed up in sleazy attire, wearing a coller, getting sodomized, and having his face ejaculated on. He's not into that kinda stuff and the fact that there's someone out there inthe world such as yourself who would desire to treat Ron that way, and have his friends support and validate his desires to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so, really does bother me. I don't take any issue with people having kinky sex as long as both parties consent to it and enjoy it, but I know quite well that my Swanny has no desire whatsoever to be treated like that. So next year, when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Ron Swanson isn't just a lifeless caricature of masculinity to be objectified for your sexual gratification. He's the partner of someone who loves him very much, and by that time their husband. So both myself and Ronny would greatly appreciate it if you'd pick someone else to request erotic art of four birthday. Based on the very large amount of different staches you draw art of I imagine there has to be many other funnymen you find sexually attractive. I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well... we'd appreciate it. #nsfw
I believe the hacking attempt. There's no way you'd be this verbose about any man.
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH
wild
JANE?????? LMAO
ARGH!!@!
THE PUSHERFELT SINCERITY IN THIS CHITT WAS SO POWERFUL THAT IT OVERRODE THE MIASMIC DOUBLE HELIX OF DISGUST AND GUT-RENDING HILARITY WELLING IN MY HEAVING ABDOMEN. I'VE BEEN MOVED TO TEARS. TEARS OF LAUGHTER. LAUGHTER AND DEEPEST, PALEST PITY. CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS. TO THE BOTH OF YOU.
I'VE BEEN HACKED, YOU ABSOLUTE DIMWIT. LOOK AT THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ON THIS POST. IT WAS CLEARLY PENNED BY SOME INFLAMMATORY NINCOMPOOP.
YES.
What ever.
>Don’t know how I began but I was once a decent man >The promises I was made were made to keep me a slave >Cornered and kept on a wage to come the worst of my rage >One day the curtain falls > #lyricsposting https://open.spotify.com/track/4QFsfUVgZesJCJ7jQXCXZ4?si=W8_c_fpXTFSEwEm6jZFMFg
I havE a rEputation for bEing concEitEd, but at lEast I don't post constantly about hanKEring aftEr my own fucKing bulgE liKE somE of you animals. #KErrayUrodyn #ThERocKstar
WITH THE RECENT RESURGENCE OF FUCHSIAS SWINGING THEIR CULLING FORKS ABOUT, I'VE BEEN CONSIDERING THINGS. THE BEFORAN EXPERIENCE WAS A JOKE, A PREDECESSOR TO THE FAILED EXPERIMENT OF ALTERNIA'S MASSIVE SPACE SPANNING EMPIRE. CLEARLY THAT SYSTEM FAILED, OR AT LEAST, IN MANY TIMELINES IT MANAGED TO DO SO. SO FUCK IT. WHY NOT A HUMAN? I CAN GET BEHIND HER CONTINUOUS POUNDING OF IMPERIAL ASS CLEARLY UNUSED TO LOSING AT WORDPLAY WITH SYCOPHANTIC LAPDOGS. THE YOUNGER DOGS OF THE EARTH-C EMPIRE HAVE BITE, AND THUS ARE MORE WORTHY OPPONENTS OF MY IRE. MAY THE BEST EMPRESS (OR EMPRESS-LIKE, IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE) TAKE THE CAKE, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE THE OBVIOUS CROCKER-BAIT. DESPITE MY DISDAIN FOR THE WOMAN, AT LEAST SHE'S SHARP. #NOTMYEMPRESS #THISCORPOBITCHTHO #INEEDHERTOWIN #SOTHATFISHCANLOOSE #ANDTHENICANEVENTUALLYWIN
w)(at in t)(e fuck are you garglin t)(ese consonants and vowels aboat )(ere
not a w)(ole lot tb)(, it sounds like youre bot)( for and against everybody simultaneously, and t)(en youre just jerkin on t)(at point for a solid 3 paragrap)(s
HOO BOY. YUP. ALRIGHT. THAT WAS AN EYEFUL.
Keanu be strong!
THINGS HAVE CLEARLY GONE TOO FAR. TROLLBAMA WAS NOT, OF COURSE, ALIGNED WITH MANY OF MY VIEWS. BUT HIS SLAYING WILL NOT GO UNANSWERED.