♦ pitied by @arrogantGuerilla
alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted to do the propaganda for her, so here you go. #nsfwv. #nsfc too, but not the c youre thinking of. "its ya boy eridan ampora here vwith a guest rewvievw on alternias biggest caked up baddie our leadin broad in the beam for #cronusbabeoff hovwre all likin my vwintage hic edition penthouse by the wvay pretty groowvy huh cost me a pretty caegar but it wvas totally wvorth it an yknowv its the real deal too cause its got her signature shade a coral pink semi gloss #2 stamped across the covwer wvhen im feelin advwenturous i take my condy penthivwe out a her plastic slip an ewver so gently stroke her lipstick mark vwith a quivwerin finger wvith my other flipper placed firmly against my crotch anyvway im afraid the competition has been crushed by the empresss unholy cake grinder the rest a you booty impaired ladies can go hivwe novw" yeah. yowvza. #cwv-cakesitting. <3 or <> for condy. <3< or c3< for rosie.
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
The much anticipated 2000s tier list. MOST of these series I watched either as they were released or in syndication throughout my childhood, so the metric of my enjoyment is both through the lens of nostalgia and by my old, much less skeptical yardstick. Shall we proceed to the 90s?
A tier list concerning animated series from the 2010s specifically. MOST of these series I have watched only as an adult, given they would have come out partially or in their entirety after my departure for The Medium. Next is the 2000s!
The face he makes when he wants [to escape and assassinate you]. I haven't an inkling as to why he's still so ornery after all these years. I bring refreshments and everything! Coochie coochie coo.
You ask a wonderful question. The name is actually a present8ion of the planetary ideals! Those of us who are in a position to offer care to those who are in need, myriad as such trolls happen to 8e, are required to put them all "8efore Us," those few who are of sound mind, 8ody, and of such natural st8ion as to outlive a gr8 many of our fellow trolls. This was decided upon 8y the Shepherd Condesce in ages past, when first her gentle fronds came to rest upon the reigns of trollkind. After she rose to the highest of all authorities, the planetary doctrine, and the true doctrine of all cold8orn trolls 8ecame synonymous with the planet that we all coexisted upon!!!!!!!! #8eforanHistory #LightEmpath #GoldStar #ForAGr8Question #IAmSOProud #ToSeeATeal #WithSuchAGr8 #Nose #ForInquiry
꧁@gutsyGumshoe #nsfw #HumanInverseOfABulgeRating #BulgeRating #Nook2 Okay. It took my a minute. Because I had to come up with a new system. Controversial human nook⎠bulge rating. I can't apply length, girth, pliability, or strength because of the minute scale. This is my first time, so. correct any mistakes! Pulchritude: 8 out of 10. There are no notable physical flaws with your particular system. Though, it is alien to me. It almost looks like a shy bulge! Hehe. The hood is ornate like an Auxilatrix's cloak as she cares for grubs. Durability: 10! From what I can gather, you can take quite the beating as compared to the other human composite references I was permitted to speak with. The vulva is plush like safety cushions. Hydration: 7! Uhm. Your labia lips have recently been quite, erm, soaked as it were! At least, excited. Rigidity: 3! This is a score, uhm, you want lower. It's sort of the inverse of pliability? This is, however, in regards to your actual vaginal opening. It seems to be able to not only be able to foster human genitalia but is just rigid enough to allow even the most pliable of bulges enter without it begin and embarrassing mush. X Factor!: 10! H-hhhhHOWdoIdescribethiswithoutgettingkilled? Uhm. Your innerworkings, your, uuuterus is quite active. THough behind your bulwark of a cervix, your ovaries and uterus are, putting in??? Overtime??? Like any good CEO!꧂
wvowv. uhh. #cronusbabeoff. you all really #cameout for wvriska. #imcoming. and here i thought wvriskourse vwas dead. wvell, she movwes on, snowvman doesnt. shame. next in the lineup! this one im curious about, meulin leijon vws latula pyrope! big fat cat tats up against the cowveted pyrump! wvill the kurlozs or the mitunas wvin the simp wvar? (its gonna be kurloz). #suggestivwe <3 or <> for latula <3< or c3< for meulin
To reiterate, the #OldYoutubePlaylist will air from 11 AM EST tomorrow morning until it ends, which presumably will be around 8 PM. All are welcome to attend. I'll be posting the link shortly before airtime and throughout the day. Feel free to blacklist #OldYoutubePlaylist to avoid the reminders. DISCLAIMER. I am merely purporting to have cultivated an ERA-ACCURATE playlist. I cannot speak to your personal enjoyment. If you get onto the OLD YOUTUBE PLAYLIST and find the comedic stylings of "Like Mah Status," "Fred Goes Swimming," "Charlie the Unicorn," and "Taking The Hobbits to Isengard" to be dated and blase, I CANNOT HELP YOU. :B See you there!
i am THRILLED to announce the opening of the botanics of earth-c quantum uranium enrichment research and laboratories, also known as the becquerel center!!! this is just the first step in creating a sanctuary for the botanical life that can be found all over our wonderful planet, and the first step in our multi-pronged educational outreach program!!! keep tuned for more announcements and events in the future as we continue to expand!!! #earthc #botanicalgarden #scientificoutreach #educationaloutreach
Calling you psycho the way that you're desperate, Scribbling proclamations like an illiterate text-wit. Shit was clipped out of context? Bitch, quit grasping at straws, She won't step on your face, but I'll enforce some laws. You think she's your purpose, your sole reason for life? You're just a cog in the system, perpetual victim of strife. Weeping bodily fluids like they're bars in the sand, While we're out here running empires you can't comprehend. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest of all? A total non-entity tryna play ball. Read, reread the garbage you vent in and out of the feed, See you’re a footnote in history for anyone's heed. Sucker for attention, can't think beyond your erection, All for a friend of a friend, no preestablished connection. You're kicking it solo, forever a clone, An absolute nobody wasting time on his phone. Dave's playing fuckin' ball? You do got that legacy, But the way your shit's twisted is downright fuckin' heresy. Get my knob off your mind, drop the text that you signed, You’re swinging out of your league and getting aligned. Quoting anime at me? Let's check back into reality, Your fragile mentality can't face my brutality. Your game is already dead, no head, no crown, Just a supplementary Strider acting like a clown.
@carbolicGalvanologist I would be remiss not to deliver upon my promise to celebrate your presence in my life- in the only dark, earthy tones that seem to proportionately convey my appreciation. Behold. I have named her The Bogtrotter. Twenty-four layers and ten inches in diameter. Roughly the weight of a rotund first-grader. Old Bruce himself could not have served you better if he'd been liquefied and baked into a juvenile diabetic puck. Happy Wriggling Day, KV. From your pal. :B
I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're watching old Youtube for the next six hours. Excluding official music videos, but including noteworthy brand advertisements. Justin Beiber's Baby is out. Rebecca Black's Friday is in. Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" is a-go. We have a sensible bouquet of Key of Awesome, The Gregory Brothers, and the RESPECTABLE Lonely Island skits. The old ones, with the homemade aesthetic. We have a thirty minute block of talking and/or emoting baby videos, followed by an Annoying Orange "Wazzup" palate cleanser, immediately followed by thirty more minutes of various cat videos. Nyan Cat falls under the animated chapter of the docket rather than the feline, for what I hope are obvious reasons. We then have a full hour of adult men angrily reviewing various pieces of media AND/OR ragequitting from a game. I like to mix my unjustifiable tirades with full-blown meltdowns for variety. From there we dive headfirst into the animation section. I've compiled a Llamas with Hats extended edit, amongst others. Then I say we cut a left to comedic skit dub-overs, culminating in The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Then onto the bloopers. We have a SUPERCUT of various gaffes and boners ranging from popular cinematic works to voice-acting to news reels. Our musical outro will be the DJ Earworm United State of Pop 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 in that order. THEN if you're still feeling froggy, we can pivot to old-school brawling videos caught on tape, from your phone, under the blankets. You will have to hold the phone up. And then sex I guess. #NSFW.
Misinterpeted this post brieflly.
Oh no. Royall remains lleft to rot. Can we get a two for one?
Some patients can't 8e saved, 8ut that 8urden's not on you........ #auto8iographical #lightempath theantlers #lyricposting #rel8tionships
#MacroCullsmos #CanItRunHAL #CanItRunYAOI https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6ceb5459d2b7.gif - MC Oleana
Considering #RumbleNight never came to full fruition, there's no harm in posting one or two of the early promotional photos.
xx_DA_RAVESTAR_IS_HAVING_FUN!_D0NT_EVEN_W0RRY_AB0UT_IT,_WHY_W0ULD_Y0U_W0RRY?_ANYTHING_G0ES_AT_DA_NE0N_HAL0!_ITS_ALL_F0R_FUN_FUN_FUN!!!_FLASHING_LIGHTS_AND_FL0WING_DRINKS_AND_0THER_THINGS_T0_MAKE_Y0UR_PAN_SPIN!_WHY_W0ULD_SHE_EVER_LEAVE_THAT?_EVEN_HER_SHUT_EYE_IS_MINIMAL_HAHAJHAHAHA_SHE_0NLY_ST0PS_WHEN_HER_B0DY_SHUTS_D0WN_DA_PARTAYYYYY_LAWL_xx
"And in dusty alleys, dark llate night cllubs, pllaces where the foollish and the fortune-deprived gathered, Father did address their peoplle, and did gather their Marked Sons inocullated to their beautifull truths. And Father said 'Hate not, those privilleged who wallow in the mire of dellusion, for they too suffer as our brothers and sisters. Llet llove be theirs to cllaim, and be mercifull with their sentence if their eyes remain cllosed. Usher them beyond, and llet them rest in perpetuity, if they cannot bear the llight.'"
SERKET REVIEWS: PROJECT ZOM8OID 8y THE INDIE STONE For my first installment of reviews, I chose to start playing a game in Karkat’s li8rary that had 8arely seen even an hour of playtime. At time of writing, I’ve gone WELL over the two hour threshold for refunds. Hopefully Karkat doesn’t mind, 8ecause I can tell this is going to 8e a game that sucks me in! Instead of 8eing the typical d8ting sim, lifestyle sim, or occasional looter shooter that is common to his li8rary, this game is user-descri8ed as an open world survival sim. I chose to dive into it without much research, and ignored the multiplayer function to 8etter immerse myself in the survival mechanics. This was the o8vious correct choice. The game opens to a haunting screen of a man cradling his m8tesprit closely, clearly attempting to comfort her as she is 8andaged and injured in the splash art. There’s a swell of dramatic music, and then thunder claps, lightning flashes, and you see the gruesome truth of the scene revealed as an ela8or8te ruse!!!!!!!! The man is ACTUALLY tearing at the flesh of his lifeless partner, who has yet to rise in undeath to join him in eternal hunger. That is essentially the entire tone of this game. You may not realize it, looking at the cute trash-gru88er8east mascot, 8ut dreariness and loneliness are the main experience, 8eyond the dread of the undead hordes slowly closing in around you. Zom8oid is a game that promises to punish the slightest misstep, and such punishment can very quickly send you into a tailspin of utter desol8tion. My first attempt at the game (post the ro8ust and informative tutorial, of course) was thwarted 8y a 8roken window lock! Had I 8een a8le to pull open the window to make my escape, I likely would have lasted several more in-game days. As it was, I was forced to start over and try again, this time a touch more cautiously. The first area where real mistakes can 8e made are in the character cre8tor screen. There’s a ton of options for how to kneecap your character from the get go, ranging from things to challenge yourself with, and work around, such as 8eing underweight or hard of hearing, all the way to the truly formida8le illiteracy tr8t, which makes it completely impossi8le to 8oost level growth 8y reading skill manuals. If you choose to 8e illter8te, and don’t know how to oper8 generators, you’re shit out of luck when the power goes out! 8etter hope you like to camp!!!!!!!! Taking positive attri8utes su8tracts points from your character sheet, while taking negatives adds them 8ack. I think it is a very 8alanced system that challenges you to take weaknesses that you can grow your character out of, such as 8eing unfit, overweight, or overall weak. Practicing fitness routines while not escaping from zom8ie assaults will eventually pay off, as you gain muscle and agility, just like real life! Food and rest are also required, much like real life. The nutritional system is fairly ro8ust, 8ut pretty punishing, though it does do an incredi8le jo8 of accounting for physical exertion for food and sleep needs. Your character can also 8ecome 8ored, or even depressed, which means a variety of food and entertainment experiences (such as 8ooks or tv shows) are required to stave off the inner demons of the zom8iod apocalypse. It’s rare to see a survival simul8tion take into account the needs of the mind and soul as well as the needs of the 8ody! There’s also a very ela8or8te crafting system, including the possi8ility to craft your own hive from scratch, crafting weapons and gear, and repairing or cr8ting your very own clothing and armor to fend off the hordes with. Each of these systems dovetail together to make an awesomely in depth and challenging game that somehow doesn’t start to feel like an organiz8tion sim until you’ve 8een playing the same save for several nights str8! As for gameplay, there are myriads of options to customize and tailor the experience to your desires. If you’re more interested in a relaxed approach, may8e a focus on the ranching and farming portions of the gameplay loop would 8e more your speed. If you find yourself a god among zom8oid slayers, perhaps you’d prefer to try the challenge options? And, like I mentioned 8efore, there IS a solid multiplayer 8ase out there, though I haven’t personally delved into that area of play yet. All in all, a solid 8/10. There are still game 8r8king 8ugs to 8e found AAAAAAAAALL over the place, which is crazy for a game that’s 8een in development for 6.9 sweeps! That’s 15 years for you humans out there, 8tw. Appar8ntly someone even stole the hard drive that had the early game stored on it, forcing them to start over completely once. Crazy stuff! 8eyond a little 8it of gameplay jank, there’s not much I feel compelled to complain a8out with this title, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to play solo survival games with huge maps and challenging scenarios. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/037caf4ea2c2.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f9f16c7a888c.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/66acc553d388.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3aa94372518d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/38c1d94ea15d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/44618803912e.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/37287d796296.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6da84e0e119a.png #serketreviews #nsfw #gore
https://forms.gle/2w9FseGAoHseZEcN7 QUESTION: So you have the apple bottom jeans? Perhaps some boots with the fur to go along with them? And have you ever gotten "low" while wearing them? ANSWER: I did promise to deliver. Pardon me if I retain my vertical integrity on camera, though. I won't be getting "low" on demand.
I didn't know that my charming llittlle Ward had an account here. It's llike a familly reunion.
HOW THE NIGHR JUST STARTED
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/61e5cb659e6e.gif
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
What is this. Who sent this to me. What does it even mean. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c85d6579cb53.png
Unreal Heiress, play Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.
I hear the pleas of the masses. But the solution here is NOT more wanton violence. No matter how you may strike this miserable starving poonhound, you will not deter him from the table! ... There is only one weapon left in my artillery. A single lethal projectile by which to silence this fool.
THANK you, Cronus. This goes to show you that no one is beyond education. ... Is something burning? OH, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.
... :(
Just get off my post.
Just go. >:(
So sorry! His lord highness has commanded I not attempt to seek comfort from my own friends. Sleepover cancelled!
Dirk wins, everyone! Dirk wins ALL THE FRIENDS. Congratulations. Pile into the Pope Room, one and all! Behold Dirk's crops and see that they are positively SAGGING with fruit. I hope you're quite satisfied with yourself. Keep them. Forever!!!! GOOD BYE.
@uranianUmbra#4373 @tipsyGnostalgic#2248 @golgothasTerror Ahem. Slumber party! Tonight. Starting ASAP. Haul your rumps over here. I have all the necessary preparations.
No.
Unreal Heiress. Play Nobody by Mitski.
I'm going to bed.
@terminallyCapricious#2753 Wake up and get out of my house.
Blugh. Thank you. :|
DAMN IT. HOLD ON. Don't reset my foul mood with your pleasantries. I'm trying to hold the buzz on a solid prior-night tantrum.
Oh. Good morning, Nepeta.
It's morning. I don't know that "good" is the hat I'd bestow upon the day straight off the starting line.
SHUT UP!
Unreal Heiress. Play My Paper Heart by the All-American Rejects.
Apparently because you had zero return input! :B A failsafe by your second brain to prevent the shame burning through your HUMAN nervous system? Try turning yourself off and on again.
I'm going to provide you a singular opportunity to train the AI sucking your brainstem NEVER to speak to me in that manner again. If you're as intelligent as your wire (and circuit) mother, you'll learn.
Crockercorp. One word, you disappointing fucking dullard. Also- the "BOARD OF DIRECTORS?" What reality are YOU dwelling under the funk of wherein OUR namesake corporation is run by ANYTHING other than our own private equity? You haven't bought back your own fucking stock? The bootstraps are for PULLING ONESELF UPWAYS, not tangling around your own gullet like an unobserved toddler stumbling into the window shades! :B But let us be quite frank with ourselves, shall we? You are cognitively ROTTING under the yoke of that contraption. You will never aspire to anything greater than burrowing mouth-first into your empress' shoe leather like a rat trying to find fresh air. And good gravy, that is ok! I have now thoroughly observed you. Beneath the heel of a more intelligent superior is precisely your niche, Jane. Hold on tight to that shelter, because we can all see VERY APPARENTLY that you do not have the chops for upper management.
I'M AT WORK. SOME PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET HAPPEN TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY.
Regrettably.
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
... Thank you.
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
I know we don't always get along. Like when I forgot to bring your favorite toXic waste. Or when you crushed my first two-wheeled travel apparatus with your large body. Or when you accidentally ate my favorite pair of Slewboutins. But I'm thankful for you, nonetheless. I won't belabor the sentimentality, as I know we'd both rather be flayed and dunked into hot oil. Happy #LususDay, dumpmother. I hope you enjoy your gift. #LususReveal #MyLusus https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7500b3ad0dfc.png - MC Oleana
Ugh. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath. So, fine. I suppose I can no longer deny you. Get me to 10k Kult, and I'll post #NSFW of myself. I've already booked a photorturegrapher for the occasion. #Girlboss #WomenInSTEM #WomenOutOfPocket - MC Oleana
forgot troll bruno mars was also in fortnite ://
Just learned what a moirail is in technical terms. It's been insinuated to me that human beings, in their social climate, are guilty of blurring the boundary between a friendly and a pale solicitation. I will tell you right now that I believe I have NEVER been guilty of such a transgression. Pity isn't something I tote too much of to start with, let alone a sentiment I pass out to those with which I am hardly acquainted. Also, I don't think I do much pacifying! I don't suppose talking J out of Nacho Libre karaoke very well counts. Experts, you weigh in. I may not have the moiraillegiance gland in my chassis, period!
Home at last- and with one more day to decompress before the turn of the work week! ... Ah, yes. 6,338 emails. That sounds about right. Unreal Heiress, initiate the inbox catch-up doomscroll.
FAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!1 UUUUUUUUUGH!
W)(atever you say! 38P
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0e0041a94b33.jpg #gore ((Dualscar after tackling Bruno Mars))
oH GOD WHAT, dO i DO WITH, tHE RING,
my head is killing me... what happened????
Or #imcoming I Guess Whatever
I Suppose I Could Only Forestall Myself From #coming For So Long
Fine Since No One Is Capable Of Making Reasonable Decisions I Have Decided To Volunteer Myself As A Chaperone #iwantcandy #eridanweek #iguess
I'll be abstaining from #IWantCandy, among other reasons, due to being in recovery. #Substance #GlucoseholicsAnonymous - MC Oleana
(Uh) Happy Palm Friday, baby - Posted from my Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP VvR Headset -
iT'S JUST NOT, tHE SAME, wITHOUT jULIOH,,, #eRIDANwEEK
oH, iT'S OKAY, tHE wOKE hIGHBLOOD, pROTECTED ME, bODILY, i FORGOT TO MENTION, tHAT PART,
sO, i WOULD HAVE, pREFERRED TO MAKE THIS INTO, a VIDEO, mAYBE WITH MY, uKULELE, bUT THE OIL, iRREPARABLY DAMAGED THE, cAMERA ON MY, pALMHUSK SO, tHIS WILL HAVE TO DO, uMM, wELL i PROMISED, mY FANS THAT, i WOULD NOT, gET INJURED, tONIGHT AT #eRIDANwEEK, aND, wOULD INDEED, bE IN THE #sPLASHzONE, sAFE AND SECURE WITH, mY GOGGLES AND, bULLETPROOF, vEST BUT, aS CIRCUMSTANCES, hAD IT, i DECIDED TO ARRIVE, rEALLY EARLY SO AS TO, gET A GOOD SEAT, tHOUGH i GUESS, mY TICKET PROMISED ME, a vip SEAT, sO, iN RETROSPECT THAT WAS, pOINTLESS, bUT, iT WAS SEVERAL HOURS, bEFORE EVERYTHING, aND NO ONE, wAS REALLY THERE, sO i DECIDED TO, eXPLORE A BIT LIKE, a BACKSTAGE TOUR, aND, aFTER, sCAMPERING UP THE RAFTERS LIKE A NUTSTEALERBEAST, i WAS LOOKING IN AWE AT, tHE VARIOUS VATS, aND BARRELS AND, iN MY EXCITEMENT, sLIPPED AND FELL, iNTO ONE, aND WAS, pRETTY BANGED UP BUT, i FELT FINE ENOUGH BUT, i COULDN'T GET OUT, oF THE VAT AND, nO ONE WAS AROUND TO HEAR MY SCREAMING AND, bY TIME ANYONE ELSE WAS, aROUND, mY VOICE WAS HOARSE, aND SO, tHEY COULD NOT HEAR ME AND THEN, tHEY STARTED POURING IN THE OIL, wHICH WAS, pRETTY HOT, aND, vERY DENSE, oR MAYBE, tHE OPPOSITE OF DENSE, wHICHEVER ONE MAKES IT, hARD, tO GET OUT OF, aND SO, wHILE MY GOGGLES, lUCKILY, pROTECTED MY EYES, tHOUGH, oIL STARTED LEAKING INTO THEM, aFTER, a FEW MINUTES, i WAS, sTUCK IN THERE FOR, sEVERAL HOURS, aND HAD TO WAIT FOR, tHE OIL TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO, tHE COMPETITORS AND, aUDIENCE, lUCKILY, tHE OIL SEEMED TO BE OF A SIMILAR, cOMPOSITION TO, sOPOR SLIME, sO i WAS FINE, bREATHING IT BUT, iT TASTED REALLY BAD, aND, KIND OF STAINED MY SKIN, a BIT, bUT ANYWAYS, i DID EVENTUALLY, mANAGE TO CLIMB OUT, bY, uSING HARDENED OIL DEPOSITS, oN THE SIDES AS, hANDHOLDS, bUT THEN, aFTER i DID GET TO THE TOP, i FELL, aND LANDED RIGHT, oN MY BUTT, hURTING MY, bUTTBONE, wHATEVER THAT ONE, iS CALLED, aND THEN, aFTER i GOT OUT, i SLIPPED A BIT, aND HIT MY HEAD ON A TABLE, bUT, oVERALL i WAS, pRETTY FINE, aND THEN, sOMEONE THREW A FOLDING CHAIR, wHICH HIT MY HEAD AND, cONCUSSED ME BADLY, sO i DID, eND UP GETTING HURT, dESPITE MY PROMISES, aND i AM SOMEONE WHO, lIKES TO TRY TO STAY TRUE, tO HIS PROMISES, sO, i AM VERY SORRY FOR, gETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH, a CHAIR, aT #eRIDANwEEK, aND ALSO FOR, mISSING THE CHANCE TO TALK, tO ANYONE AT, tHE rUMBLE bUMPIN' uGLY pUMPKINS, eVENT, i AM, sORRY, aND i WILL, tRY TO DO BETTER IN, tHE FUTURE, tHANK YOU, #aPOLOGYvIDEO
Maybe I'll try attending the next event... I feel kind of left out.
owwwwwwww owwww oww oww owwww oww
i dont lleave the house much for fear of my llife. the chaos of a willd crowd is pretty good at keeping the drones off of me
apostate there will be two human men wrestling covering in oil there tonight can we pick a different day to boycott it maybe tomorrow
[BEGIN CHIT] THERE ARE MANY BENEFITz T0 BEING A PI10T. 0NE Iz THAT Y0U D0 N0T NEED T0 z1EEP. AN0THER Iz THAT IT Iz J0Y0Uz T0 ANzWER QUEzTI0Nz AND F1Y VERY VERY FAzT. :) [END CHIT]
this always happens to me when theres a hot guy T____T #WhyMe #Whyyy #WhyGodWhy
Ugh, girl (Uh, Betty Crocker™ Batchables) Owwww
Owwwwwwwwwwwwww, girl (Uh) Bisquick
(Uh) Brought me back (Frosting, girl)
(Uh) Can someone (Ooh, oww) Betty Crocker Hamburger HELP ME, baby, haha #EridanWweek - Posted from my Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP VvR Headset -
ANYWAYS, FOR MY TWELFTH PERIGEE'S LEAVING THIS SWEEP, MY *BIGGEST* WISH IS THAT I DO END UP APHYSXIATING ON THE CRUDE, COLORLESS GRUEL THEY SERVE HERE. CHOP CHOP, FOLKS. LET'S GET TO IT
As rebels do we really need to fight one another. Is it not bad enough that the rest of the world seeks our heads? #dashwatching