chittr
← @bulgeCurator
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

@technicallyTimaeus You're up! Uhm. You don't.. You don't count for my normal rating system! But we're both technologically inclined so I was able to dig up some other stats about you. Although you are technically a single gram of mass containing all of your data hidden within a set of glasses, that doesn't mean you're out of the running. #nsfw #bulgerating? Uhm. Okay. Physically. There is no bulge. Or penis. Or anything! He's sunglasses. However I was able to connect to his personality protocol and--make some determinations. Hhhh. There was already a simulated bulge file in here. Uhm. Several. Seems like he had gotten quite ahead of himself. But I'm going to measure his human bulge from these files. Length: Uhm, well. This was a series of sequenced binary that when compiled and viewed through his display would put him at approximately seven earthly inches! However. Girth: Uhm. The 'base' was described as having a girth of a 'Good ass highlighter'. Hhh Hydration: He leaks. A lot! Watercooled, I guess. haha. Uhm. Sensation: He is sensitive along the glans delta at an 8 out of 10 and prostate stimulation at a 4 out of 10. He doesn't have these, as he is glasses. Cut: Not Cut! Uhm. I feel like I know more about... the human who made him than him. But still...

Kult: +128
Kull: +105
Total: 233
Ratio: 1.22
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

Apologies. Your modest half dozen is not what I was seeing or expecting from the scans. Hff. Sizeable. Not like, an elixir can exactly. But maybe... the cologne bottle... Hffff Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits Humanbulgeissohotilovethedanglybits

Kult: +19
Total: 19
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@timaeusTestified[TT]

You ought to keep working on your ability to work cross-species. Getting warmer with the elixir can comment, but come on.

Kult: +7
Total: 7
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

Hffletmetrainonyouyouremyfirstever

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40
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@timaeusTestified[TT]

Fine.

Kult: +7
Total: 7
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

hffrhfhfhhfhefehfhefhef

Kult: +9
Total: 9

He's trying to juice his numbers. Don't fall for it. I'm the only Dirk you can trust, and I have unimpeachable photographic evidence on my side.

Kult: +7
Total: 7
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@timaeusTestified[TT]

Desperate because I'm willing to put my dick to the psychic sniffer so they can see the truth for themselves? And you have the nerve to call me controlling. Let go of the narrative, bro. It'd be easier than trying to hold on.

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

Kult: +12
Kull: +5
Total: 17
Ratio: 2.40

Since you asked so nicely.

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40
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@bulgeCurator[BC]

hhh

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40