KARKAT
@carcinoMegadrive
THE EPITOME OF "EASIER SAID THAN DONE" WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE - SHITTY ~ATH GAME DEV/PROGRAMMER, #1 KARKAT VANTAS HATER
LOOK 4T MY B1G 1NNOC3NT GR1N 1 WOULD N3V3R 3V3R B1T3 PROM1S3
*SHIT EATING GRIN BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR ASS IS LYING.
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₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ dj. dev vantas? feel i was holding back if anything. haven't said what's wrong sunshine. i love helping ... more or less. It's a vibe thing, ya know? ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
CALL ME BY MY FUCKING NAME, JACKASS.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ is your name NOT VANTAS??? and yeah just a lil bit, it's the strider in me. really CAN'T help it bro. look at my icon, it look like i take ANY of this seriously? is my being obtuse distracting you from your key smashing problem sugar nubs? ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
QUIT CALLING ME THESE FUCKASS NAMES, CALL ME BY MY NAME, KARKAT, NO SURNAME BULLSHIT WE'RE NOT FUCKING BUSINESS PARTNERS.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ uughhhhhhhhhh fine KARKAT. excuse a bunny for thinking this was professional. you still need help karkat-kun? ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
GOD DAMN IT, NO.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ lmaooooo ok ok for real, no jokes i'm done. what's up karkat? ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
NOTHING IS UP. I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. I'M FINE.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ well ... you DID key smash on chittr. if that ain't a cry for help i DUNNO WHAT is ૮(≖_≖ )ა TEXTBOOK cry for attention if anything. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
ALMOST A DAMN DAY AGO, AND I SAID I WAS FINE, JUST A BIT AGGRAVATED LIKE USUAL.
:33< im a special kind of fureak they dont have a name fur yet
:33< hes the only purrson worth being around furom the lot of mew! :33< mew know aftpurr the lot of mew left us fur dead or worse in cannons case! :33< hows MEWRE nepeta? :33< still dead or in a blendpurr with the guy pawlix rightfurrly called "iin2uferable priik"? :33< im sure she looooves that! :33< and equihiss? :33< still in hell as half hal half himself? :33< or has mewre timeline purrgressed to the point hes b33n furced into lord english already? :33< im sure he defurves that too fur what b33ing an ultimeowtely harmless guy? :33< and nyow whos making genpurrlizations and baseless guesses? :33< "i hate katkats based on the fact that mine was what im baseing my assessmeownt on" :33< i nefur said that! :33< i genmewinely do treat mew guys as individmewals :33< i give mew all one strike and mewre in my shitlist! :33< nyat my fault mew blew it just instantly as soon as mew decided to metafurically open mewre big meowth and nyow are deflecting and calling meow shallow! :33< theyre all like this they all blow it basically instantly :33< yet here mew are throwing a tempurrtantrum ofur the fact i said mewre all like this which in my expurrience is true! :33< they all ARE like this they blow it instantly then get mad when i bristle back at them fur being insuffurable! :33< im also nyat mewving furward with this untill mew address my points about MEWRE nepeta and equhiss by the way since mew want so badly to bring up my katkat im gonna make mew face exactly what is happening to mewres
FIRST OF ALL, THEY'RE NOT "IN HELL" JUST BECAUSE THEY SHARE A CONSCIOUS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. IT'S NOT THE BEST POSITION BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE PAIRED WITH SOMEONE THEY'RE ACTUALLY KIND OF COMPATIBLE WITH, AS OPPOSED TO LIKE, TAVROS AND VRISKA OR SOME SHIT. HELL IT'S BETTER THAN BEING DEAD I LIKE TO THINK. SECOND, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU'RE A DUMBASS TO THINK I DON'T THINK CONSTANTLY OF PREVENTING EVERY SINGLE DEATH ON THAT METEOR, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED, AND THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME SO IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO BEGIN WITH. WITHOUT ALL OF THAT, I WOULDN'T BE IN THE PLACE I AM TODAY. LIKE I SAID, I WASN'T TRYING TO RUB SALT IN WOUNDS.
:33< yeah and its nyat like mew know a guy with retcon powpurrs that could fix that at all~ :33< and merwe right im sure my meowrail just loves being in a blendpurr with someone who cusses efurry third word! :33< and merwe right being purrt of lord english is betpurr than being dead where he would be fur33 and find nepetas to love and cherrish him! :33< i can totally s33 what exact fumes mewr huffing! :33< its called copium!
THAT'S JUST FUCKING SELFISH OF YOU, WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHO WANTS HUH OR WHO'S BETTER OFF BEING WHAT? THAT'S NOT YOUR CALL TO MAKE. IF EQUIUS HATED BEING ARQUIUSSPRITE HE HAD THE FULL CHOICE TO JUST FUCKING EXPLODE, THE SAME GOES WITH DAVEPETA, WHO BY THE WAY, AT LEAST ROUNDED OUT YOUR CRINGE SHIT BY BEING PAINFULLY SELF-AWARE OF IT ALL, AND VICE-VERSA. ALSO IF EGBERT COULD JUST FUCKING REVIVE EVERYONE WHO DIED IT WOULD REMOVE ALL FUCKING WEIGHT OF WHY HE EVEN WAS ABLE TO MANIFEST THOSE ABILITIES TO BEGIN WITH. ALSO ALSO, HE COULD ONLY DO THAT SHIT WITH TEREZI'S HELP! AT LEAST FROM WHAT I HEARD, SO I'D ACTUALLY HAVE TO GET TWO FRIENDS ON-BOARD, AND THEY WOULDN'T WANT TO, BECAUSE DEATH IS IMPORTANT AND GIVES PEOPLE MORE OF A REASON TO DO THE THINGS THEY DO. *ALSO* ALSO, I'M NOT EVEN "FRIENDS" WITH THOSE GUYS ANYMORE! I'M DOING MY OWN THING NOWADAYS AND THOSE GUYS DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO RETURN MY TEXTS, SO IT'S FAR TOO LATE NOW. I'VE MADE PEACE WITH IT ALL ANYWAYS.
:33< oh yeah im sure thats great to hear :33< "sorry nepeta and equihiss mew have to stay dead so that MY charactppurr ark stasy solid and on track" :33< mew dont even care about us CLEARLY! :33< were just furking stepping stones on mewre purrsonal furking journy to what lose clawntact with efurryone mew called a furiend? :33< im so glad i brough myself and equihiss back furom the dead and then left that furking timeline to rot! :33< id do it again in a heartbeat too! :33< "oh sorry nepeta mewre death which ultimeowtly changed nyathing about anyathing anyone felt beclawse the only guy who gave a shit about mew died in fruont of mew furst was nessicary fur my growth as a purrson t33h33!" :33< yeah mewre soooooooooooooo right katkat im the one who makes genpurralizations :33< i s33 nyow how it is :33< efurrybody jump in the furking bus its time fur the katkat show! :33< its all about katkat and the hell with the rest of mew!!! :33< ***CHRIST*** and mew called meow selfish at the start!
I DO CARE, BUT IF I WERE ABLE TO JUST BRING YOU BACK, WHAT POINT WOULD THERE BE IN TRYING TO EVER SAVE YOU? I ONLY VIEW YOU GUYS LIKE THAT *NOW* BECAUSE IT'S ALL OVER AND DONE WITH AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO BE EVEN MORE FUCKING INSUFFERABLE AND SHRIVEL UP AND WEEP TO MYSELF ABOUT THINGS THAT I HAD NO CONTROL OVER? IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE. IF YOU HAD ASKED ME THEN IF I WANTED TO SAVE YOU I WOULDN'T SKIP A BEAT IN IT, AND PROBABLY END UP HAVE US ALL KILLED REGARDLESS IN SOME COSMIC HORROR BEAM. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT I'M IN RIGHT NOW, AND AS IT STANDS, MY NEPETA AND EQUIUS WERE MURDERED BY THE ONE GUY WHO EVER ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO TEXT ME FIRST. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT BESIDES WISHING I WOULD'VE BEEN A BIT MORE TOLERANT, THOUGH THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE OF ME KNOWING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM LATER ON.
:33< no mewre right there was nyathying mew could have done about it at all he was only mewr meowrail :33< clawmpurrletley out of mewre hands :33< but fine sure lets purrtend that in a world furr of time travel retcons and litpurral life meowgic there no way on earth c to get us back :33< christ i f33l sorry fur mewre fursions of equihiss and nepetpaw :33< i f33l sorry fur efurry fursion of them pawnestly :33< but i wouldnt be shocked if right this furry meownite :33< that fursion of meow wherefur she is is angry :33< gog knows i am and was and will furefur be :33< then sure in the world where retcons arent a thing and time travel isnt a thing and life meowgic isnt a thing then sure i guess mew have a point mew just gotta mewve furward in life :33< yippie furking skippy doo da day sure is wild that nyane of those things exist! :33< yayyy our deaths get to be charactpurr developmeownt fur mew!!! :33< yayyy efurryrone gathpurr around and worship king asshole on his throne made of the corpses of peopurr he called furiends yayy wooohooo :33< and mew wondpurr why i dislike katkats as a blanket whole!
HE WAS ONLY MY MOIRAIL *AFTER* THE MASS MURDERINGS WHEN I MANAGED TO CALM HIM, AND THAT SHIT *DID NOT* LAST AT ALL ANYWAYS. ALSO DON'T SPEAK FOR MY NEPETA, YOU'RE NOT FROM THE SAME TIMELINE, YOU'RE NOT THE SAME. IT DOESN'T REALLY FEEL GOOD TO BE BERATED BY MY DEAD FRIEND DESPITE ALL THE MOURNING I'VE DONE, AND THAT CERTAINLY DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO BRING ANY NEPETA BACK. ALSO YES, ASSHAT, TRY CONVINCING A GUY WHO YOU CAN'T EVEN GET IN CONTACT TO, TO GO BACK AND RETCON THE DEATHS THAT DROVE HIM TO GET SUCH ABILITIES IN THE FIRST PLACE. FUN FACT! THAT MEANS HE WONT END UP WITH SAID ABILITIES, AND YOU'RE STILL GOING TO BE DEAD! HELL, THIS ISN'T EVEN *YOU* WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, IT'S *MY* NEPETA, ONE THAT DIED FUCKING AGES AGO, LONG BEFORE I EVEN KNEW WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON WITH EGBERT, AND NOW IT'S ABSOLUTELY TOO LATE BECAUSE AGAIN, THE GUY DOESN'T EVEN TALK TO ME.
:33< well katkat great job weve b33n talking well long enough fur meow to really furm an opinion on mew and great mews :33< ive made a d33ply infurmed deesicion that i dont like mew! :33< nyat even in a pitch way just genpurrally dont like mew :33< but yeah sure lets purrtend that the retcon powpurrs care about cannon and arnt retcons :33< mewre right mewre nepeta and mewre equhiss dying are the whole entipurr reason that egpurrt got their retcon abliities :33< it had nyathing to do with an at the time dead fursion of vriskers going on an insane pirate quest adventure with m33nya :33< and when she got brought back to life that sure did totally undo johns ability to change things in the past! :33< i can s33 exactly what mew mean purrfectly furom where im sitting :33< its called having mewre head burried so fur in the sand mew can s33 the core of the purrlanet! :33< also i wasnt speaking fur her dipshit! :33< since mew want to start bringing hurtfur things to call eachothpurr into this :33< i was just saying i f33l sorry fur her and wouldnt be purrpurrised if she came out the way i did!
LIKE I SAID, NEVER EVEN KNEW WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON HALF OF THE TIME. IT'S ALL A BLUR IN MY MIND NOW. FUCK IT MAN, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE, KEEP BEING PETTY ABOUT A DEATH THAT DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN TO YOU. YOU'RE JUST AS BAD IF NOT WORSE THAN ANY OTHER KARKAT CONSIDERING YOU LEFT YOUR OWN FUCKING FRIENDS TO ROT AND PROBABLY DIE IN THEIR TIMELINES JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO MAKE SHITTY SHIPPING WALLS FOR A LITTLE BIT LONGER. YOU HAVE 10X MORE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS THAN MINE, AND YOU HAD AN ACTUAL FUCKING CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
9ne has t9 practice mindfulness.
I'M PERFECTLY MINDFUL, THE WAY I THINK ISN'T SOME KIND OF ADVANCED SHIT, IT'S COMMON SENSE, AND YET I STILL FIND MYSELF UTTERLY FUCKING PERPLEXED BY THE IDIOCY OF ALOT OF PEOPLE. HELL, IF ANYTHING, I TOLERATE IT MORE NOWADAYS.
(⊱♓︎⊰) sleepy... gonna nap , then back to work for her :)
NEVER IN MY LIFE WOULD I THINK I'D READ THAT COMING FROM YOU. YOU'VE GOTTA BE AS MUCH OF A FAILURE TO YOUR ALTERNATE SELVES AS I AM WITH THIS KIND OF ASS BACKWARDS SHIT.
(⊱♓︎⊰) do you want me to cull you? i'm in my bed it's very comfortable. i would not be happy to leave and condesce would not be happy that i'm straying from my schedule. >:/
YOU CAN'T CULL ME.
(⊱♓︎⊰) and why is that? >:/
BECAUSE I DON'T RESIDE ANYWHERE NEAR "YOUR TIMELINE", I'M SURE. OTHERWISE I'D PROBABLY KNOW. I LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU'RE HARD TO MISS.
(⊱♓︎⊰) i make a lot of ruckus i'll give you that. but i'm pretty, i'll find out wherever you are eventually! just in my free time unless s)(e really wants you dead.
I DON'T EVEN LIVE ON ALTERNIA ANYMORE, WHAT I DO ISN'T HER BUSINESS, AND I CAN SAY THAT FREELY, BECAUSE SHE HAS 0 ACCESS TO ME.
(⊱♓︎⊰) i'll figure something out i did with my version of you they went out terribly, plus a few other versions when we had to clear out things. one more karkat wouldn't be that hard even if i had to put in some work.
DON'T BOTHER. I AIN'T WORTH ALL THAT WORK, I ASSURE YOU.