KARKAT
@carcinoMegadrive
THE EPITOME OF "EASIER SAID THAN DONE" WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE - SHITTY ~ATH GAME DEV/PROGRAMMER, #1 KARKAT VANTAS HATER
im 4'10 btw
I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO BE THAT SHORT
i am tw0 apples tall
NO THE FUCK YOU AREN'T, TWO APPLES DON'T STACK UP TO 4'10, YOU'RE IN A LEAGUE OF YOUR OWN
d0 y0u hate j0y and whimsy karkat ?
IS THAT WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT?
hmm i haven't made an empty suicide threat in a while. like this chitt if y0u want t0 see me run int0 high speed traffic. #cw-self-harm #cw-suicide
ALWAYS.
MY KANAYA WAS ALWAYS PRETTY DECENT TO ME ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, SHE MADE A FEW CLOTHING ITEMS FOR ME BUT I NEVER WORE THEM. MOSTLY BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T REALLY MY THING, OR DIDN'T FIT ME TOO WELL BECAUSE I NEVER TOLD HER MY MEASUREMENTS I GUESS. IT WAS SWEET REGARDLESS AND I APPRECIATE HER ALOT.
OH WAIT SHIT #MARYAMMOMENT
thinking about a new hairstyle hmm
GO BALD.
many pe0ple d0n't kn0w this but my real name is actually eridan. i just g0t it changed because it s0unded stupid. i mean, imagine being named eridan. c0uldn't be me.
THIS IS JUST A LIE BUT IT'S OK BECAUSE IT'S ERIDAN SLANDER AND I'M DOWN AS FUCK FOR THAT.
h0w w0uld y0u kn0w? y0u ever seen my hatch certificate?
NO BUT I DO HAVE COMMON SENSE AND I KNOW THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FUCKING NAME.
that's what y0u think. the truth is, i g0t it changed l0ng bef0re we ever met. i just never t0ld any0ne because it was deeply embarrassing. it's actually kind 0f fucked up that y0u w0uld belittle my trauma like this by accusing me 0f lying.
I'M SORRY THEN.
i can't believe y0u l0sers are still using g0regle and n0t the vastly superi0r quackbeastquackbeaststart.
THE BROWSER THAT USES CROCKERCORP-OWNED TRACKING SCRIPTS TO LOAD ON THIRD-PARTY SITES DESPITE MARKETING CLAIMS OF BLOCKING TRACKERS ITSELF? IT'S LITERALLY NO DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER BROWSER IN THE ONE THING THAT IT MARKETS AS A SUPERIORITY, WHICH IS SECURITY. YOU'RE NOT BETTER FOR TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT. ALSO IT RELIES ON FUCKING BING FOR ITS SEARCH INDEX, YOU'RE JUST USING BING WITH A NICE SIDE OF DATA COLLECTION AND TRACKING.
c0me 0n man quit shitting 0n my j0ke.
NO, AT LEAST KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU MAKE A SHITTY JOKE LIKE THAT.
y0u kn0w l00king back in retr0spect perhaps m0st 0f my crash0uts were unwarranted
NOT ME, ALL OF MINE ARE COMPLETELY WARRANTED, EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP BEING DUMB AS SHIT.
dipping smores cookies in chocolate milk is rlly yummy btw!
SO MUCH DAMN SUGAR IN THIS SENTENCE.
I'M SURE IT IS.
sometimes when i take showers i turn the lights off and keep the water cold and pretend i am a sad stray dog getting rained on. it makes it feel immersive. in a way.
OK SO WE'RE JUST LYING NOW.
I'M GONNA KILL YOU.
KEEP YOUR SHITTY JOKES IN YOUR SPACE, DON'T FUCKING INVOLVE ME.
WHO TOLD YOU THAT? WHO LIED TO YOU?
i told me that! self confidence is important, dude. also dave thinks i am hilarious sometimes i think. >:B
SO YOU GASLIGHT YOURSELF, OK. DAVE IS JUST AS STUPID AS YOU ARE, IF NOT MORE, SO THAT CHECKS OUT AS WELL.
J4N1C3 H4S QU3ST1ONS 4BOUT MY SN4CKS. J4N1C3 N33DS TO SHUT TH3 FUCK UP.
WHO THE FUCK IS JANICE.
COWORK3R.
JANICE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
{[ ∴______∴ ]}√ {[ WHY WOULD YOU PUBLICLY POST COORDINATES TO YOUR PLACE OF RESIDENCE EVER ]}√
BECAUSE EVERYONE IS VERY FUCKING STUPID