KARKAT
@cheliformGyves
SHIT-TALKING EXTRAORDINAIRE. HELPSMAN. MOVIE BUFF. WRITER. NEED A CULLMOMMY? GET IN LINE. BEFORUS HE/HIM 400k HICAPOINTS, FUCK YOU.
I’VE TAKEN TO STUDYING SUBJECTS OF WHICH I’M UNFAMILIAR IN AN ATTEMPT TO NO LONGER EAT MY WORDS WHEN I SAY I’M SMARTER THAN ALL OF YOU SOPPING WET SHITBAGS WITH A HOWLING WIND PASSING BETWEEN YOUR AURALDUCTS WHERE YOUR SPONGES SHOULD BE. FIRST UP: BEFORAN MEDICULL PRACTICE. DOES THIS COUNT AS #MEDICULLCHITTR? AM I GOING TO BE A HOT NURSE WITH HORRIBLE BEDSIDE MANNER?
You could not be any worse than our current nurses.〜〜
>-8==— hey!! >_<
OH THEY GOT YOUR ASS.
>-8==— there is nothing to get!
HA, FLATTY.
yxu’re clearly suffering frxm sxme sxrt xf visual impairment. - xx
shit i aint done a parasite update in a wwhile havve i? ok here here i do actually havve somethin so as wwe knoww the parasite has psionic capabilities yeah? it cultivvates this sorta neuro-link betwween it and its host wwhich causes said host to act unpredictably and at first wwe wwerent entirely sure a wwhy after all most parasites wwould prefer it if their presence wwent unnoticed it givves them more time to percolate and consume and reproduce dependin on its unique objectivves a course but as it turns out this is actually defensivve after all other animals steer clear a ones wwho are actin strange and sick and funny enough wwhen the infected animal is completely on its lonesome it ceases its odd behavvior that is to say the parasite is smart enough to knoww howw to keep its host safe i already had the notion that it wwas more intelligent than its simple appearance might imply but it really does seem as though it is attemptin to cultivvate a longer-term couplin wwith its host its likely wwhy the neural link persists evven after the parasite has been removved from its host at least until it finds another host wwevve also figured out a feww more concernin quirks a the infected subjects devvelop a taste for flesh and fail to recognize keepers and other animals that they wwere once fond a classic zombie movvie shit except wwithout the decomposition aspect also the parasite can heal its owwn wwounds and seemingly come back from bein medically deceased howwevver this is not a trait that gets passed onto its hosts the hosts can vvery much die and the parasite wwill immediately exit its deceased host in search of a neww one the parasite typically attempts to enter either open wwounds or orifices primarily wwhile the animals are asleep since it is seemingly not vvery fast outside of a body it also has teeth for gnawwin and diggin and burrowwin and consumin so havve fun thinkin a that wwhile youre gettin ready to sleep it also does seem to havve interest in trolls as potential hosts but understandably no one has vvolunteered yet to become a test subject for this particular sort a neuro-parasitism go figure evven so wwe finally wwere able to name the little beastie: schistosoma animucerebris or more colloquially the neurowworm
it is NOT a fig wworm
i think youre far smarter than people givve you credit for ivve said it before and ill say it as many times as it takes for others to get it too youre brilliant much like the humble neurowworm because thats its name its the neurowworm it isnt the fuckin fig wworm
FIRST OF ALL. IT IS THE FIG WORM. FUCK YOU AND YOUR SILLY SCIENCE WORDS. BUT SECONDLY, YOU’RE RIGHT, I AM EXCEEDINGLY SMART. I LEARN A LOT FROM YOU, OF COURSE.
put some respect on the schistosoma animucerebrises name anywways though dont let me take any partial credit at all for your smarts youre brilliant all on your owwn
oh come on its not evven hard
I’M GOING TO SEND YOU AN AUDIO MESSAGE, AND YOU CAN CHECK MY PRONUNCIATION.
excited to hear the cool neww unique wways you butcher compound troll latin
That Is How I Know I Was Much More Vile And Cruel Back Then- I Had A Blunt Bang.
THOSE OF US WITH A BLUNT BANG ARE AUTOMATICALLY MORE VILE AND CRUEL. I THINK @ZOOLOGERCOOLSCAR STUDIED THIS IN GRAD SCHOOLFEEDING, ACTUALLY.
1 d1d great at d1sconnect1ons ton1ght, 1 would l1ke beaut1ful women to congratulate me
CONGRATS. I AM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. IN A WAY.
IM FEELING LIKE CAUSING SOME TROUBLE TONIGHT, BUT I’LL BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR. MAYBE.
1 see how 1t 1s
AND you d1dn’t say so? how fuck1ng rude
aaaaaaand the surpr1se 1s gone. n1ce job 1d1ot
IT’S YOUR FUCKING OWN FAULT FOR RUINING YOUR OWN SURPRISE. THIS IS WHY I DON’T DO ANYTHING NICE FOR YOU, YOU ALWAYS RUIN IT.
oh nooooo you don’t do anyth1ng n1ce for me oh noooooooo
you’re smart somet1mes, r1ght? you can f1gure that out