Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! Dô yôuse need a taŁŁ & a shôrt guyse tô banter as theyse guard a dôôr? We've gôt a cŁean tight five! Dô yôuse need sôme feŁŁas tô môve crates back & fôrth in yôur warehôuse? We're dedicated team Łifters AND fôrkŁift certified. Dô yôuse need sôme guys tô escôrt yôur prôtagônist tô the interrôgatiôn bŁôck withôut 'em gettin' awayse? ôur success rate is weŁŁ abôve average! We côme with ôur ôwn bŁack beanies! We dô themes! We dô any môtive! We can dô seriôus! Cômedy! Gôôfus & GaŁant dô it aŁŁ! We'ŁŁ take ambiguôusŁy ŁethaŁ hits frôm the prôtag! We'ŁŁ expôsit at the startuh the episôde! AŁŁ fôr fair market rates. Yôuse can't get a better cannôn fôr yôur caegar than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! We're prôud assôciatesuh the Greater GaŁactic Gôôniôn, the prôud representativesuh gôôns Empire-wide, frôm the ŁiŁ gôônŁets taking their first gôôsesteps ôn AŁterniase, aŁŁ the wayse up tô the persônaŁ bumbŁin' buffôônsuh Navy AdmiraŁs Łôôkin' tô sabôtage each ôther. This is hôw yôuse KNôW yôuse'ŁŁ get quaŁity henchwôrk frôm us. Reach ôut tônight fôr a freese quôte! Remember, if yôuse ain't gôônin' with Gôôfus & GaŁant, yôuse're the gôôn! #Gôôns #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Dôn't get tôôse excited bub, we're gôôn buddies & aꝈꝈ, but ain't nô ône ever hearduh a triôuh gôôns, right? Such a thing... sureꝈy it côuꝈd never be. It's either a singꝈetôn, a shôrt & taꝈꝈ duôse, ôr a ganguh gôôns. Nô triôs.
Yous right yous right…sides, I got myself a solid boss anyway! I can’t be strayin away from him any! Gotta stay loyal ta da big guy yanno? Yeah, yanno! I’m sure yous had ta have worked fuh a couple a big guys before, yeah?
AꝈꝈ sôrts bub, aꝈꝈ sôrts. But a truese henchpair never gôôn & teꝈꝈ!
Aw, lookit yous two! Couple a professionals! It almost brings a tear ta my eye ta see a pair a pals so committed ta deir goonin! The two a yous are real gems, yanno dat?
Right back atcha buddy 'ôꝈ paꝈ. Hmm, yôuse are a memberuh the Gôôniôn thôugh, right?
Oh, o course! I keep my membership card in my suit pocket at all times! I’m numbah 304! Used ta be 126 but I lost my old card an had ta reregister aftah…da incident.
We underst&... We ain't gônna make yôuse taꝈk abôut... da incident.
Thanks fellas I appreciate dat! Alls I’ll tell ya is dat dere was fire an booze involved a usually I likes me a li’l fire or a li’l booze but not a li’l fire AN a li’l booze yanno? Not a good time if ya ask me!
Fôr sure, fôr sure, wese ain't big fansuh fire in generaꝈ, but with aꝈꝈ that? HeꝈꝈ nô!
See yous two get it! But anyway dat’s all in da past! I gots my new card an it’s fine an dandy! An I’m gonna keep dis one nice an safe or my name ain’t- whoops! Can’t say dat! Workplace confidentiality an all!