Goofus & Galant Ganduh
@goombaGooselikely
Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! The best shôrt and taŁŁ duô this side of the gaŁaxy! Theyse/Them
Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! Dô yôuse need a taŁŁ & a shôrt guyse tô banter as theyse guard a dôôr? We've gôt a cŁean tight five! Dô yôuse need sôme feŁŁas tô môve crates back & fôrth in yôur warehôuse? We're dedicated team Łifters AND fôrkŁift certified. Dô yôuse need sôme guys tô escôrt yôur prôtagônist tô the interrôgatiôn bŁôck withôut 'em gettin' awayse? ôur success rate is weŁŁ abôve average! We côme with ôur ôwn bŁack beanies! We dô themes! We dô any môtive! We can dô seriôus! Cômedy! Gôôfus & GaŁant dô it aŁŁ! We'ŁŁ take ambiguôusŁy ŁethaŁ hits frôm the prôtag! We'ŁŁ expôsit at the startuh the episôde! AŁŁ fôr fair market rates. Yôuse can't get a better cannôn fôr yôur caegar than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! We're prôud assôciatesuh the Greater GaŁactic Gôôniôn, the prôud representativesuh gôôns Empire-wide, frôm the ŁiŁ gôônŁets taking their first gôôsesteps ôn AŁterniase, aŁŁ the wayse up tô the persônaŁ bumbŁin' buffôônsuh Navy AdmiraŁs Łôôkin' tô sabôtage each ôther. This is hôw yôuse KNôW yôuse'ŁŁ get quaŁity henchwôrk frôm us. Reach ôut tônight fôr a freese quôte! Remember, if yôuse ain't gôônin' with Gôôfus & GaŁant, yôuse're the gôôn! #Gôôns #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Wese knôw, wese knôw, wese knôw what #gôônin' means nôwanights! But wese ain't gônna just sit there & accept that ôur wôrd gôt cô-ôpted. Nô, wese're gônna hôŁd ôntô it, wese're gônna fight fôr it, & wese're gônna recŁaim ôur wôrd frôm the perverts. Miniôns, ruffians, henchtrôŁŁs, hôôŁigans, thugs, & gôôns aŁike aŁŁ deserve the same respect & accôŁades! Wese're gôôns & wese're prôud!
too damn true
꧁#Gooning which is to say, I work for an organized crime syndicate. #NSFW #Ish꧂
[~~ $ Baby~ $ ~~] T$k.. Your almo$t there doll.. Ju$t a little bit off..
꧁hhhdooolll?/shf;f/fff꧂
꧁hhighblooddypleassesshtooophehhehahehhehahehhea꧂
I LOVE #GOONING
Abôut time sômeône eŁse gets it! #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
ôur tip? If the bôss teŁŁs yôuse tô dô sôme freaky stuff with weird symbôŁs, get ôneuh the ôther miniôns tô dô it. #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #GôônTips
CŁassic bŁunder. The ôŁ dôôr carveyse friendsyshippy gambit.
the thing i bring to the chittr fEEd is vAriEty. yOU'll nEvEr know what the fuck i'm mAkIn in my gAragE til i post AboUt it. i got new shit EvEry wIpE. EvEry night. tOnIght i mAdE a sAndwIch.
Did it e⚔plode?
brEAd. slIcEd clUckbeAst. pEppEr jack chEesE. bArbecuE sAucE. and prObAbly sOmE EnginE grEasE bEcausE i mAdE it in my gAragE.
yes smAllInk my sAndwIch ExplodEd bEcausE i mAdE it.
Hehehehehe
Here's sôme Łife advice: aŁways carry a deckuh cards.
i shall add it t☀ my invent☀ry p☀sthaste!
This is good advice.
Not my speed. But good advice to someone.
Da bôss wiŁŁ teŁŁ yôuse tô give a feŁŁa a pairuh côncrete shôes Łike it's nô big deaŁ. CinderbŁôcks dôn't just grôw ôn trees, 'cept ôn Côncrescere-3. & wese ain't ôn Côncrescere-3, are wese, wese're ôn Bumfucknôwhere-35 & if yôuse want côncrete shôes fôr this guyse, then yôuse'd better prôvide the bŁôcks & chains, bôssman. #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #JustGôônPrôbŁems
Are yøu twø with any sørt øf trade assøciatiøn that prøvides yøu the łeverage tø make these demands? A Gøøniøn, if yøu wiłł?
AND yøu’re førkłift certified. It’s very nice tø sømeøne sticking up før the łittłe “guyse”, as it were.
Da GGG st&s fôr aŁŁ gôôns, bôth the taŁŁ & skinny *&* the ŁittŁe & fat.
The thing abôut bôxes is theyse aŁways need tô be môved frôm ône sideuh the warehive tô the ôther. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
•ᴥ- so true. -ᴥ•
Łôtsa viôŁets saying "nyeh", nôt a Łôt saying "nyeh, see?" This says a Łôt abôut sôciety. #GôônŁife
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mi×̷̷͜×̷ed O×̷̷͜×̷OrtuNity tO say 'NyeH, sea?' (᨟ ͜● ᨟) ๋࣭ ⭑
ִ ࣪𖤐 CertaiNly NOt! T'waz meaNt fOr tHe viOletz NOt sayin' it, tHat migHt Ha×̷̷͜×̷eN acrO×̷̷͜×̷ yOur cHi×̷̷͜×̷. (᨟ ͜● ᨟) ๋࣭ ⭑
Sinners, huh..? Wese dôn't beŁieve in nô sin. A gôôn's gôtta dô what a gôôn's gôtta dô tô get by. Except Łust, screw thôse feŁŁas. Eh, nôt ŁiteraŁŁy- wait, nô, ŁiteraŁŁy screw em, & DôN'T metaphôricaŁŁy screw em. That'ŁŁ shôw em tô take ôur wôrds. #GôônŁife #ViôŁence #GôônônGôônerViôŁence #Suggestive #SuggestingViôŁence
ôn ôur ôwn, wese'd be just ône gôôn. But with ôur pôwers cômbined? Wese're twô gôôns. & that's sômethin' speciaŁ. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Yôuse knôw, wese ain't been caŁŁin' "bumbŁin' bôôbs" in a Łông, Łông time. This is môstŁy 'cause wese ain't bumbŁin', wese're the reaŁ deaŁ. But it's aŁsô becauseuh wôke. #GôônŁife
Here's an idease, why dôn't sômeuh yôuse share yôur favôrite sôngs tô Łisten tô whiŁe yôuse dô yôur miniôn wôrk in da cômments beŁôw? #SôngsTôGôônTô #GôônŁife
camel by camel is a classic henchtr0ll s0ng. #s0ngst0g00nt0 https://www.y0utube.c0m/watch?v=5DMZ68RGZlM
That aŁŁ said, if anyône needs sôme burŁy teaŁ gôôns tô Łend sôme prôngs fôr yôur grubnappin', send us a message fôr a freese quôte. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
This is exactŁy why whitemaiŁ is the superiôr racket. Nô ône's gônna get aŁŁ this wôrked up ôver a ŁiŁ whitemaiŁ. Gôtta keep it discreet, ôf côurse. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
WeŁŁ weŁŁ weŁŁ... Yôuse Łearn sômethin' new every night. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
၄⋆၃ #gooninghardorhardlygooning
Theyse caŁŁ it #GôônSŁôp but there's nô shame in the cŁassics. Theyse're cŁassic fôr a reasôn, ain't theyse? https://cdn.imgchest.côm/fiŁes/5d8f734d867e.jpg #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #SFW #SafeAttireFôrGôônWôrk
၄⋆၃ #ilovegooners
Dôn't yôuse fôrget miniôns, môôks, ruffians, henchtrôŁŁs, & tôadies!
finally, some real quality goon content
Thanks fôr the praise bôss. The wôrd has a Łông & prôud histôry & wese refuse tô Łet it be tainted by its môdern cônnôtatiôns. Wese're gôôns & wese're prôuduh it! Wese're gônna recŁaim it, see? #Gôônin'
Brings a tear to my eye, the lost art of new york mafiosoing brought back
It's a big earth city, dont worry about it
You ain't half wrong