Goofus & Galant Ganduh
@goombaGooselikely
Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! The best shôrt and taŁŁ duô this side of the gaŁaxy! Theyse/Them
Wese knôw, wese knôw, wese knôw what #gôônin' means nôwanights! But wese ain't gônna just sit there & accept that ôur wôrd gôt cô-ôpted. Nô, wese're gônna hôŁd ôntô it, wese're gônna fight fôr it, & wese're gônna recŁaim ôur wôrd frôm the perverts. Miniôns, ruffians, henchtrôŁŁs, hôôŁigans, thugs, & gôôns aŁike aŁŁ deserve the same respect & accôŁades! Wese're gôôns & wese're prôud!
ôur tip? If the bôss teŁŁs yôuse tô dô sôme freaky stuff with weird symbôŁs, get ôneuh the ôther miniôns tô dô it. #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #GôônTips
CŁassic bŁunder. The ôŁ dôôr carveyse friendsyshippy gambit.
Here's sôme Łife advice: aŁways carry a deckuh cards.
i shall add it t☀ my invent☀ry p☀sthaste!
Da bôss wiŁŁ teŁŁ yôuse tô give a feŁŁa a pairuh côncrete shôes Łike it's nô big deaŁ. CinderbŁôcks dôn't just grôw ôn trees, 'cept ôn Côncrescere-3. & wese ain't ôn Côncrescere-3, are wese, wese're ôn Bumfucknôwhere-35 & if yôuse want côncrete shôes fôr this guyse, then yôuse'd better prôvide the bŁôcks & chains, bôssman. #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #JustGôônPrôbŁems
Are yøu twø with any sørt øf trade assøciatiøn that prøvides yøu the łeverage tø make these demands? A Gøøniøn, if yøu wiłł?
AND yøu’re førkłift certified. It’s very nice tø sømeøne sticking up før the łittłe “guyse”, as it were.
Da GGG st&s fôr aŁŁ gôôns, bôth the taŁŁ & skinny *&* the ŁittŁe & fat.
The thing abôut bôxes is theyse aŁways need tô be môved frôm ône sideuh the warehive tô the ôther. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Łôtsa viôŁets saying "nyeh", nôt a Łôt saying "nyeh, see?" This says a Łôt abôut sôciety. #GôônŁife
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mi×̷̷͜×̷ed O×̷̷͜×̷OrtuNity tO say 'NyeH, sea?' (᨟ ͜● ᨟) ๋࣭ ⭑
ִ ࣪𖤐 CertaiNly NOt! T'waz meaNt fOr tHe viOletz NOt sayin' it, tHat migHt Ha×̷̷͜×̷eN acrO×̷̷͜×̷ yOur cHi×̷̷͜×̷. (᨟ ͜● ᨟) ๋࣭ ⭑
Sinners, huh..? Wese dôn't beŁieve in nô sin. A gôôn's gôtta dô what a gôôn's gôtta dô tô get by. Except Łust, screw thôse feŁŁas. Eh, nôt ŁiteraŁŁy- wait, nô, ŁiteraŁŁy screw em, & DôN'T metaphôricaŁŁy screw em. That'ŁŁ shôw em tô take ôur wôrds. #GôônŁife #ViôŁence #GôônônGôônerViôŁence #Suggestive #SuggestingViôŁence
ôn ôur ôwn, wese'd be just ône gôôn. But with ôur pôwers cômbined? Wese're twô gôôns. & that's sômethin' speciaŁ. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Yôuse knôw, wese ain't been caŁŁin' "bumbŁin' bôôbs" in a Łông, Łông time. This is môstŁy 'cause wese ain't bumbŁin', wese're the reaŁ deaŁ. But it's aŁsô becauseuh wôke. #GôônŁife
Here's an idease, why dôn't sômeuh yôuse share yôur favôrite sôngs tô Łisten tô whiŁe yôuse dô yôur miniôn wôrk in da cômments beŁôw? #SôngsTôGôônTô #GôônŁife
camel by camel is a classic henchtr0ll s0ng. #s0ngst0g00nt0 https://www.y0utube.c0m/watch?v=5DMZ68RGZlM
That aŁŁ said, if anyône needs sôme burŁy teaŁ gôôns tô Łend sôme prôngs fôr yôur grubnappin', send us a message fôr a freese quôte. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
This is exactŁy why whitemaiŁ is the superiôr racket. Nô ône's gônna get aŁŁ this wôrked up ôver a ŁiŁ whitemaiŁ. Gôtta keep it discreet, ôf côurse. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
WeŁŁ weŁŁ weŁŁ... Yôuse Łearn sômethin' new every night. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
၄⋆၃ #gooninghardorhardlygooning
Theyse caŁŁ it #GôônSŁôp but there's nô shame in the cŁassics. Theyse're cŁassic fôr a reasôn, ain't theyse? https://cdn.imgchest.côm/fiŁes/5d8f734d867e.jpg #GôônŁife #Gôônin' #SFW #SafeAttireFôrGôônWôrk
Dôn't yôuse fôrget miniôns, môôks, ruffians, henchtrôŁŁs, & tôadies!
finally, some real quality goon content
Thanks fôr the praise bôss. The wôrd has a Łông & prôud histôry & wese refuse tô Łet it be tainted by its môdern cônnôtatiôns. Wese're gôôns & wese're prôuduh it! Wese're gônna recŁaim it, see? #Gôônin'
Brings a tear to my eye, the lost art of new york mafiosoing brought back
Yôuse'd be surprised hôw many suppôsedŁy prôfessiônaŁ miniôns waŁk right intô spike pits withôut even turnin' arôund. It's a disgrace tô the prôfessiôn. Wese can't cômpŁain tôôse much thôugh. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Dat wese are sir, dat wese are. Yôuse ever find yôurseŁf in need ôva pairuh prôpuh gôôns, yôuse give us a caŁŁ.
Maybe wese shôuŁd take ôut an ad fôr ôur "services". #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Your gooning services, that is.
Dat's right paŁ. ôf aŁŁ the gôôns arôund, wese've gôôned the Łôngest. That's the sôrta experience yôuse need in this cômpetitive antagônist market. Wese've gôôned Łông, hard, & wese aŁways finish what wese start.