♥ liked by @goombaGooselikely
Ranking excluding Creators or Creator-adjacent individuals.
$till ¢ir¢ling in. I kno₩ they feel it.
Goons?! I assure you, sir, there is not a SINGLE SOUL #gooning your poll in the name of Jane Crocker.
OHHH YEAHHHHH :) | goon hArd for teAm skull goooo teAm skull :)
Am |??
| th|nk thAts r|ght
While you goon I'm fighting the good fight. That's the difference 8etween us all. #8igMoneyMoves
All oof them
Yoou have my woord
I hoope oone night i'll get the chance too use yoour services and yoou'll emerge froom shadoows right after i click my fingers and yell "Booooooooooooooys"
Noot exactly a femme noor fatale moore like a mastermind behind all oof this but yeah they make me wear a dress and distract everyoone foor stealth missioons
W goooons man suppoort yall
So true! ...I think. I can't really tell.
You kno₩. There ₩ere ₩iggler tale$ told to grub$ by Broodmother$ about me. The old troll of the $ea. The tale ₩ent that $ubjuggulator$ only be¢ame ¢lo₩n$ to make me laugh. My rau¢ou$ laughter ₩ould kee₱ the tide$ moving. The Broodmother$ told the ₩iggler$ that before there ₩ere beetle$, before there ₩a$ $¢ri₱t, before there ₩ere ledger$, there ₩a$ only barter. The $ea ₩anted laughter. In ex¢hange, it gave fi$h. It gave favorable ₩ind$. It gave $afe ₱a$$age. Every ¢lo₩n ₩a$ a tax ¢olle¢tor. Every joke a ₱ayment. Every ¢hu¢kle another ¢oin thro₩n into $ea¢ra$h Moneyma₩'$ endle$$ vault beneath the ₩ave$. And ₩hen the Em₱ire forgot to ₱ay? The $torm$ ¢ame to ¢olle¢t. ₩hy? Be¢au$e it ₩a$ true.
Offi¢erena'$ ¢lo$e. I ¢an $ee th'thing.
Weevil. https://i.ibb.co/sxxh5s5/illustration7.png
You're already in ¢on$ideration.
No₩ Hiring: Goon$ La¢key$ Underling$ Minion$ ¢ronie$ $tooge$ Flunkie$ $ideki¢k$ Follo₩er$ $ubordinate$ Attendant$ Retainer$ $ervant$ Agent$ O₱erative$ A¢¢om₱li¢e$ A$$o¢iate$ ¢onfederate$ ¢ollaborator$ Abettor$ ¢o-¢on$₱irator$ ₱artner$-In-¢rime Hel₱er$ A$$i$tant$ Aide$ Thug$ Heavie$ Mu$¢le Hired Mu$¢le Brui$er$ Enfor¢er$ $trongarm$ Leg-Breaker$ Button Men Hitmen Gunmen $hooter$ A$$a$$in$ Killer$ ¢utthroat$ Mob$ter$ Gang$ter$ Gang Member$ Hoodlum$ Hood$ Ruffian$ Tough$ Tough Guy$ Mug$ Roughne¢k$ Bullyboy$ Marauder$ Raider$ Bandit$ Brigand$ De$₱eradoe$ Li¢k$₱ittle$ Bootli¢ker$ Toadie$ Ye$-Men $y¢o₱hant$ Flatterer$ Hanger$-On $atellite$ ₱ara$ite$ La₱dog$ ₱u₱₱et$ Tool$ ₱a₩n$ ₱at$ie$ Errand Boy$ Errand-Runner$ Dog$bodie$ Troo₱$ $oldier$ Foot $oldier$ Rank-And-File Grunt$ Infantry Guard$ Guard$men $entrie$ ₩at¢hmen $e¢urity Bodyguard$ Loyali$t$ ¢adre$ ¢ell$ $quad$ Lieutenant$ $e¢ond$ De₱utie$ Adjutant$ Aide$-De-¢am₱ Va$$al$ Men-At-Arm$ $₩orn $₩ord$ Hou$ehold Guard$ $hield-Bearer$ $quire$ $ell$₩ord$ Mer¢enarie$ Hired Blade$ Blade$ Reaver$ ¢ulti$t$ A¢olyte$ Devotee$ Thrall$ Familiar$ A$$et$ Field Agent$ $e¢urity ₱er$onnel ¢ontra¢tor$ ¢ontra¢tor$-₩ith-Gun$ ¢or₱orate $e¢urity Bla¢k-O₱$ Agent$ ₩et₩are A$$et$ Drone$ Fun¢tionarie$ Intern$-₩ith-₩ea₱on$ Di$₱o$able ₱er$onnel ¢om₱lian¢e Offi¢er$ Retrieval Team$ Mook$ Goomba$ Bozo$ ¢hu¢klehead$ Meathead$ Numb$kull$ Hen¢hie$ Goon $quad Evil Intern$ Minion ¢re₩ Bo$$’$ Boy$ The Boy$ The Lad$ The Mu$¢le ¢ulti$t$ Di$¢i₱le$ Zealot$ Fanati¢$ Faithful ¢ho$en Initiate$ ₩or$hi₱₱er$ Adherent$ ¢ongregation Flo¢k A₱o$tle$ A₱₱arat¢hik$ ₱arty Men Fixer$ Hat¢het Men Atta¢k Dog$ $taffer$ ¢ourtier$ ¢lient$ ₱la¢emen Myrmidon$ $ervitor$ Hireling$ Under$tra₱₱er$ De₱endent$ Liegemen Menial$ Intelle¢tual$ Need Not A₱₱ly.
You kno₩, I've got my o₩n $u₱₱ly of Remoraider$, but I am al₩ay$ looking for hard ₩orking goon$.
Don't make me have to hunt you do₩n. Ju$t ₱ay your due$.
Alright. ₱ay u₱. No₩. I've ₩aited long enough. You got me on land. ((Art ¢redit: $₱ooky₱oo₱et on Di$¢ord))
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #GrimdarkGoons #TheOnlyTrueGoons
꒰ა(👀)໒꒱ b.ys wh. whimper when y.ure mean t. them
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ 𝙸f 𝙸 had a title www.hat do you think it www.ould be...
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #StatusUpdate #ThoughtGoon.ing
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ 𝙸ntellectually stimulat.ing goons #𝙸ntelligoons
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Rise and grind
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ 𝙸'm currently do.ing some goon.ing for a mostly unknowww.n dame!!! 𝙸'm really hop.ing she talks to me soon ehe... 𝙸 www.ould just love to knowww. more about her @∆,@
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #MightGoon #GoodHypothetical
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Yesyesyes!!!
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ WWW.AAAA SHE'S SOOO ME @∆,@
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Aaaahhaah no one has ever said someth.ing so K𝙸ND!!! @`*∆,@"
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Many people have been tell.ing me howww. good of a poster 𝙸 am @0@"!!
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ YES!!! 𝙸've never had a full time goon.ing partner!!! 𝙸 am in awww.e of your relationship!!! @∆,,,@ ╰┈➤ 𝙸've only been goon.ing for maybe 2 swww.eeps... but 𝙸 have plenty of .exeperience!!! ╰┈➤ My friends have said 𝙸'm the best on colony www.hich is such high praise ehe @~,,,@
love the goon work
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Mmhmmhhh 𝙸 love www.hen the goons are difficult @~,,,@
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #TealGoons
ON Nights wheN it is rAiNiNg, i thiNk AbOut hOw the wOrLd empties As ALL CreAtures ChAse COver iN A desperAte pLeA FOr sAFety As the skies COver Over the pLANet Like A bLANket. there is A CertAiN beAuty iN thAt emptiNess. A uNity AmONgst LiviNg beiNg iN this ChAOtiC wOrLd OF COurse, it's ALsO beCAuse the rAiN is ACid. thOse drOpLets hurt, mAN
dOes ANyONe eLse hAve AN issue with their Lusus CONstANtLy peCkiNg At them? i Am NOt COrN, mOther
Haha I think you fellas dont need me getting between you
Hm. I have never c9nsidered 6eing c9mmissi9ned f9r my writing, 6ef9re. I supp9se I am, h9wever, amena6le t9 the idea.
Seeing pe9ple misuse imp9rtant terms a l9t, s9 here's a refresher: A 'G99n' is a l9w-level su69rdinate wh9 is c9ntracted 9nly f9r specific tasks, and may 6e patr9nized 6y several individuals. They are g99ning m9stly, 6ut n9t always exclusively, f9r the paycheck. A 'Henchpers9n' is a full-time empl9yee 9f a particular villain 9r 9ther ne'er-d9-well type. They are henching 9ut 9f l9ng-standing l9yalty, genuine 6elief in the cause, 9r m9re rarely 6ecause the 6enefits and pay severely 9utclass 9ther career w9rk. Keep this in mind g9ing f9rwards.
JAKPOT CASINO VIRTUAL GAMBLING PLATFORM You seem to be the discerning type of goon! We're always willing to hire goons, lackeys, galutes, goombahs, jigolos, juggalos, and all sort of other henches. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
JAKPOT CASINO VIRTUAL GAMBLING PLATFORM JAKPOT CASINO IS NOW HIRING! WE ARE LOOKING FOR: DEALERS! ARTISTS TO CAPTURE MY HANDSOME STUPID MUG AND PUT IT ON THE POKER CHIPS! LEGISLACERATORS WHO SPECIALIZE IN DEBT CONTRACTS! YOU! YES. WE ARE HIRING YOU! COME ON DOWN! LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Applicants must be physically, legally, metaphysically, and narratively located on Alternia at the time of application, interview, onboarding, debt-binding, chip-illustration, shuffling, dealing, losing, winning, “winning,” or being dragged into the VIP room by security drones. Off-planet, post-scratch, dream-bubble, Earth C, Beforan, or otherwise non-Alternian applicants are ineligible unless they can provide proof of Alternian residency, valid caste documentation, and at least three references who have not yet been fed to a lusus. JAKPOT CASINO is not responsible for applications submitted from doomed timelines, joke universes, false moons, fake planets, illegal servers, or locations where gambling, hiring, debt peonage, artistic exploitation, or contractual soul-collateralization are prohibited by local law. By applying, you confirm that you are on Alternia and waive your right to claim you “did not know what you were getting into.” BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「sylink you gotta goonmaxx」
I hate politics, I hate weird abstract gig economy bullshit, I hate readin' about this fuckin' Stock Market. I'm tangible, I'm physical, I'm /here/. I'm a guy with a fuckin' crowbar and I either do da job da normal way or I get the tommy gun and start takin' it through crime. If it ain't cold hard cash in my hand or cold hard cash in da bank, it just ain't real to me.
♱ I have found a liege to serve without delay. This website is wondrous!
And dat's perfectly fine! Some guys have dat bond dat they can rely on, and some don't, but at the end of the day, as long ya got dat inner strength to carry on, ya'll be ok!
Ya know, people always complain dat they don't got a lusus, and dat life is so hard witout one. Well I'm doin just fine witout one! I'm my own independent and reliable guy!
※ PROPOSAL: My, mmy. What a heavy-looking Beforan cigar you have there. Will you let mme light it for you? ;-) - Yes / - No
THAT’S A WEIRD WORD FOR WORKING! BUT I’LL DO IT ANYWAY! 𓂃✍︎
I GIVE 110% FOR MY EMPLOYERS! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO JUMP, I ASK HOW HIGH! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO STAY AND WORK OVERLIGHT, I DO IT! IF THEY ASK ME TO BARK, I DROP TO ALL FOURS AND WAG MY PROVERBIAL TAIL! NOBODY IN THIS COMPANY DOES IT LIKE I DO! 𓂃✍︎
uumm,, ookkaayy -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
ookkaaeeyy, , ppeeooppllee sshhoouulldd, uumm, ddoo wwhhaatt iiss eexxppeecctteedd, ooff tthheemm, , tthhoouugghh, ii tthhiinnkk,,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
uueehh... tt tthhaannkk yyoouu, iitt iiss nnoott wwoorrtthhyy ooff pprraaiissee, iitt iiss mmeerreellyy wwhhaatt iiss eexxppeecctteedd ,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
i am very intelligent
tthhee lliittttllee ppllaassttiicc tthhiinngg,, oonn bbrreeaadd bbaaggss , ii,, , ccoolllleecctt, tthhoossee,, ssoorryy -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
ii sshhddoouullttnn, bbee ttaallkkiinngg aabboouutt tthhiiss wwhheenn iisshhoouuddll bbee wwoorrkkiinngg -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
plan f0r heist: c0mmit crimes leave celebrate this cann0t fail
ii ccoolleellcctt , bbrreeaadd cclliippss ,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
We d◎n't h⟁ve ⟁ TR dep⟁rtment; if my empl◎yees h⟁ve c◎mpl⟁ints, they kn◎w where the p⟁per shredder is.
H◎wever, if the issue is quite seri◎us, I will give the empl◎yee ⟁ gun t◎ sh◎◎t their pr◎blem!
xx_x))_<3333_xx
Ƹ 🌂 > The Dark One IS. Refer all recruitment to ME. Ʒ
Ƹ 🌂 > Waiting for my EVIL TABLET to charge. What are the FOOLS of Chittr up to. Ʒ
Ƹ 🌂 > The Dark One requests IDEAS most EVIL. What kind of badge should the LEGION OF SHADOWED DARKNESS have? I must concoct its NEFARIOUS visage... Ʒ
}(]]]]]) < i'm workinǦ on that Ǧot my best and briǦhtest on it > ([[[[[){
The chain mail and tunic is pr▣vided, yes!▾
J▣in team plasmaim.▾
When I raise my auricular listening ▣rgans t▣ the air, I can hear it. Clearly, vividly, the cries ▣f ▣ur friends in ag▣ny. The wailing ▣f c▣untless beasts-turned-cust▣dians, b▣und t▣ their charges like shackles, stuck lab▣ring f▣r sweeps.▾ Why is it that ▣ur upbringing is tied intrinsically t▣ the pain ▣f ▣ur friends? Why d▣es their freed▣m seem s▣ imp▣ssible, why are ▣ur pushers s▣ cl▣sed t▣ independence bey▣nd the c▣nstraints ▣f y▣ur beastm▣thers and beastfathers?▾ I see the TRUTH. The future is a perfect Ut▣pia, a w▣rld ▣f beasts and a w▣rld ▣f tr▣lls, separated and pure.▾ I h▣pe y▣u will all understand me. :)▾
}(]]]]]) < let's all be real and honest with ourselves for a second > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < most of you don't have anythinǦ to do nowhere to be and no one waitinǦ on you > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < you're ste₽₽ed on by those above you and Ǧlared at by those below > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < most of you have no one just admit it > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < UNTIL NOW > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < consider you could be a shrim₽y loser > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < OR YOU COULD BE A HARDHEADED LOBSTER MONSTER > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < only easy and surefire way to turn your ₽athetic limbs into > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < crushinǦ mandibles > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < is with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < join my team skull and Ǧet some res₽ect on your name > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < learn how to stack some FAT Ǧ'S AND ǦET SOME ICE ON YOUR THORAX > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < for only 299.99 caeǦars ₽aid to me > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < you can join the ₽O ₽UNK NATION > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < no one will mess with you > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < and if you're one of those non believinǦ jerk offs who wants to stay far away and steer clear > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < I'LL BE WAITINǦ TO COLLECT YOUR ₽ROTECTION MONEY > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < it'd be a shame if your ₽lace of business Ǧets looted or vandalized > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < SO ₽UT DOWN YOUR WORTHLESS FRONDS AND JOIN MY TEAM SKULL > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < SO YOUR BIǦ BRO ǦUZMA CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE THE BEETLE YOU CAN'T DEFEATLE > ([[[[[){ #teamskull #neverloses #cantlose #ifyouhave #noo₽₽osition #foolscantstand #becauseibreaktheirleǦs
We he⟁r ⟁nd see y◎u g◎◎ns ⟁nd m◎◎ks ⟁t Empyre⟁n tech! We try t◎ ⟁cc◎mm◎d⟁te every◎ne wh◎ w⟁nts t◎ w◎rk f◎r ◎ur w◎nderful c◎mp⟁ny!
We d◎! ⟁pply here! empyre⟁ntech.c◎m/g◎◎ns⟁ndm◎◎ksc⟁reers Up◎n submitting ⟁n ⟁pplic⟁ti◎n, y◎u will be c⟁lled ◎n y◎ur p⟁lmhusk ⟁nd ⟁sked t◎ g◎ t◎ ⟁n ⟁greed-up◎n secret l◎c⟁ti◎n ⟁nd be interviewed there!
}(]]]]]) < ATTABOY CHUM₽ > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < I MEAN CHUM > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #Ǧoon it u₽ and let's make those biǦ bucks > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #myǦoons > ([[[[[){
}(]]]]]) < did someone say they needed the services > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < of the rowdiest meanest most hardcore ₽UNKS the wharfsack slums have to offer > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < I'M HERE AND I'M READY TO #ǦOON IT U₽ > ([[[[[){
:33< great furk goons k33p it up an dmewll get a purrmeowtion
I can almost picture it now! Couple a stylish fellas goonin around! Good on yas!
Yous like ta drink, dontcha? Howzabouts gamblin? Yeah? Den head on down ta da nearest casino a pump all a your cold hard cash inta dose machines! An get yaself a cold drink while yous at it! Yanno what dey say, booze it or lose it! #substances
See yous two get it! But anyway dat’s all in da past! I gots my new card an it’s fine an dandy! An I’m gonna keep dis one nice an safe or my name ain’t- whoops! Can’t say dat! Workplace confidentiality an all!
Thanks fellas I appreciate dat! Alls I’ll tell ya is dat dere was fire an booze involved a usually I likes me a li’l fire or a li’l booze but not a li’l fire AN a li’l booze yanno? Not a good time if ya ask me!
Oh, o course! I keep my membership card in my suit pocket at all times! I’m numbah 304! Used ta be 126 but I lost my old card an had ta reregister aftah…da incident.
~~(__^·> is it goon appreciation night??? i love my goons!!! <·^__)~~
Aw, lookit yous two! Couple a professionals! It almost brings a tear ta my eye ta see a pair a pals so committed ta deir goonin! The two a yous are real gems, yanno dat?
Yous right yous right…sides, I got myself a solid boss anyway! I can’t be strayin away from him any! Gotta stay loyal ta da big guy yanno? Yeah, yanno! I’m sure yous had ta have worked fuh a couple a big guys before, yeah?
I sees! It ain’t often I get ta be in da middle! Yous got me all excited abouddit, ha!
Yeah, yeah I hear ya! An den maybe wes can peek around a corner in ordah from tallest ta shortest! Take a real good gander, yanno?
Well hey! Always nice ta see a couple a fellow goons! Good luck findin work yous two!
So Is was trailin dis guy, right? Real nasty custahmer, wide as he was tall, an he was real tall! Size o a damn tree, I’m tellin ya! But anyways Is was trailin im, an he turns inta dis alleyway a now I know all bout dark alleyways, ya don’t wanna go in em widout a plan or backup! But yanno I had my gun on me an I was feelin pretty damn brave so Is slip in an follow him down an he heads inta a door on da right an I go in aftah im, right? It’s a nice lil bar, ain’t too many folks in dere, but den he busts out a gun an everyone starts panickin! Deys all runnin around like bugs when ya lift up a rock, cept for the bartender who pulls out a gun o his own! An dey go an point deir guns at each othah an dat’s when I whip out MY gun an Is shout fer everyone ta hit da deck an I pull da trigger but I miss, bottle behind da countah shatters, guy whips around ta face me an the bartender pops a cap in his leg! Da guy drops down ta his knee an I pudda bullet right in his pan an get oudda dere while the goin was still hot! Now Is back at hive but wowza my pusher’s still pumpin! One hell o a night dat was!