Goofus & Galant Ganduh
@goombaGooselikely
Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! The best shôrt and taŁŁ duô this side of the gaŁaxy! Theyse/Them
Hired killers! That’s what I need!
Yôuse need a côupŁeuh hired prôngs, wese're yôur guys.
Ranking excluding Creators or Creator-adjacent individuals.
Thanks Big Bôss Łady.
in an incredible, but not totally unforeseen upset, jane has owvertaken porrim in the #cronusbabeoff, im sure in no small part thanks to her sycophantic goons (more like psychophantic, am i right ladies?) its not just that though, she can absolutely get it, you cant handle allat. porrim is eliminated, jane mowves on! next up, i genuinely havwe no idea vwhich wvay this one wvill go. nepeta leijon, the itty bitty kitty wvho could goes up against aradia megido, subject of chasers evwerywvhere. wvhos it gonna be? wvevwe got slutty examples of both these babes on-site, so im sure there are plenty of good memories thatll inspire some wvotes. #suggestivwe <3 or <> for nepeta leijon <3< or c3< for aradia megido
Goons?! I assure you, sir, there is not a SINGLE SOUL #gooning your poll in the name of Jane Crocker.
Wese certainŁy didn't. Wese côuŁd've, fer a price. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
If yôuse think abôut it, ôneuh us ain't taŁŁ & the ôther ain't shôrt.
| th|nk thAts r|ght
Heyse there girŁiese, wôrd ôn the vine is that yôuse're sômethin' ôf a #Gôôn yôurseŁf. #GôônŁife
Am |??
Yeah, yôuse're #gôônin' aŁŁ the time sweetcheeks. Fôr that Pômôn ôutfit, Team SkuŁŁ, right?
It's people gooning on here who 8n't ever 8een gooning 8efore.
Gôônin' withôut prôper trainin' & safety precautiôns is nevuh a gôôd idease. The #GGG ôffuhs pŁentyuh gôôn certificatiôn côurses fôr thôse interested in pickin' up the trade tô make a dishônest Łiving. Dô yôur part by nôt hiring ôutuh gôôniôn henchtrôŁŁs, the quaŁityuh service wiŁŁ be much Łôwer anyways. #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
I'm going to 8e so nice to you right now. I'm talking a8out people who play with their 8ulge all day. NOT men for hire. Most people are talking a8out playing with their thing-a-ling!
Dag nabbit! Nôt again! Wese refuses tô st&s idŁy by whiŁe the prôud prôfessiônuh miniôn gôes besmirched Łike this! #GôônRecŁamatiôn
While you goon I'm fighting the good fight. That's the difference 8etween us all. #8igMoneyMoves
Ah, yôuse're a prôtag type then, eh? WeŁŁ, wese've gôt nôthin' but respect fôr yôuse prôtags, & aŁsô côpiôus amôuntsuh buŁŁets. #GôônŁife represent!
Fuck 8eing a part of the thug life, I AM the thug life.
HôŁd ôn a sec there paŁ, being a partuh the Łife ain't sômethin' yôuse can just cŁaim sô easy. Are yôuse even a partuh the Greater GaŁactic Gôôniôn?
Why shôuŁd us gôôd ôŁd-fashiôned henchtrôŁŁs stôp using "gôôn" just because it's been cô-ôpted by a bunchuh degenerate freaks? Wese're prôud gôôns & wese ain't gônna give that up fôr nôthin'! #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
W goooons man suppoort yall
We appreciates da kind wôrds paŁŁy. Sô what're yôuse, the femme fataŁe right prông gaŁ fôr this "Team Chud" thing, ôr is the whôŁe gang trôŁŁthrôpômôrphic animaŁ themed, ôr what're wese Łôôkin' at here with yôur whôŁe get-up?
Noot exactly a femme noor fatale moore like a mastermind behind all oof this but yeah they make me wear a dress and distract everyoone foor stealth missioons
CŁassic scheme, yôuse Łôve tô see it. Gôôd ôn yôuse fôr gettin' dôwn & dirty with the bôys, even as da Big Bôss!
I hoope oone night i'll get the chance too use yoour services and yoou'll emerge froom shadoows right after i click my fingers and yell "Booooooooooooooys"
That is EXACTŁY da kinduh ting we're here fôr. Yôuse give 'ôŁ Gôôfus & GaŁant a caŁŁ anytime nôw, y'hear?
Yoou have my woord
Never bring ône gun tô a twô gunfight. #GôônŁife #GôônTips #Gôônin'
♡ RIGHT??? how are mew suppawsed to get a satisfying orgasm if therez only ONE gun involved?? #nsfw #gooning ♡
No₩ Hiring: Goon$ La¢key$ Underling$ Minion$ ¢ronie$ $tooge$ Flunkie$ $ideki¢k$ Follo₩er$ $ubordinate$ Attendant$ Retainer$ $ervant$ Agent$ O₱erative$ A¢¢om₱li¢e$ A$$o¢iate$ ¢onfederate$ ¢ollaborator$ Abettor$ ¢o-¢on$₱irator$ ₱artner$-In-¢rime Hel₱er$ A$$i$tant$ Aide$ Thug$ Heavie$ Mu$¢le Hired Mu$¢le Brui$er$ Enfor¢er$ $trongarm$ Leg-Breaker$ Button Men Hitmen Gunmen $hooter$ A$$a$$in$ Killer$ ¢utthroat$ Mob$ter$ Gang$ter$ Gang Member$ Hoodlum$ Hood$ Ruffian$ Tough$ Tough Guy$ Mug$ Roughne¢k$ Bullyboy$ Marauder$ Raider$ Bandit$ Brigand$ De$₱eradoe$ Li¢k$₱ittle$ Bootli¢ker$ Toadie$ Ye$-Men $y¢o₱hant$ Flatterer$ Hanger$-On $atellite$ ₱ara$ite$ La₱dog$ ₱u₱₱et$ Tool$ ₱a₩n$ ₱at$ie$ Errand Boy$ Errand-Runner$ Dog$bodie$ Troo₱$ $oldier$ Foot $oldier$ Rank-And-File Grunt$ Infantry Guard$ Guard$men $entrie$ ₩at¢hmen $e¢urity Bodyguard$ Loyali$t$ ¢adre$ ¢ell$ $quad$ Lieutenant$ $e¢ond$ De₱utie$ Adjutant$ Aide$-De-¢am₱ Va$$al$ Men-At-Arm$ $₩orn $₩ord$ Hou$ehold Guard$ $hield-Bearer$ $quire$ $ell$₩ord$ Mer¢enarie$ Hired Blade$ Blade$ Reaver$ ¢ulti$t$ A¢olyte$ Devotee$ Thrall$ Familiar$ A$$et$ Field Agent$ $e¢urity ₱er$onnel ¢ontra¢tor$ ¢ontra¢tor$-₩ith-Gun$ ¢or₱orate $e¢urity Bla¢k-O₱$ Agent$ ₩et₩are A$$et$ Drone$ Fun¢tionarie$ Intern$-₩ith-₩ea₱on$ Di$₱o$able ₱er$onnel ¢om₱lian¢e Offi¢er$ Retrieval Team$ Mook$ Goomba$ Bozo$ ¢hu¢klehead$ Meathead$ Numb$kull$ Hen¢hie$ Goon $quad Evil Intern$ Minion ¢re₩ Bo$$’$ Boy$ The Boy$ The Lad$ The Mu$¢le ¢ulti$t$ Di$¢i₱le$ Zealot$ Fanati¢$ Faithful ¢ho$en Initiate$ ₩or$hi₱₱er$ Adherent$ ¢ongregation Flo¢k A₱o$tle$ A₱₱arat¢hik$ ₱arty Men Fixer$ Hat¢het Men Atta¢k Dog$ $taffer$ ¢ourtier$ ¢lient$ ₱la¢emen Myrmidon$ $ervitor$ Hireling$ Under$tra₱₱er$ De₱endent$ Liegemen Menial$ Intelle¢tual$ Need Not A₱₱ly.
Why, we'd just abôut say wese meet every ôneuh them pôsitiôns & just abôut aŁŁuh dôse requirements.
You're already in ¢on$ideration.
Persistence is keyse bôss, but sô is underst&in' when tô nôt needŁe da big bôss. Gôôfus & GaŁant are ôutta yôur keratin threads.
Don't make me have to hunt you do₩n. Ju$t ₱ay your due$.
Yôuse Ꝉôôk Ꝉike a pretty big Big Bôss, yôuse in the market fôr sôme extra prôngs? Wese've gôtta gruntwôrk & henchin' CV 2 miꝈes Ꝉông.
You kno₩, I've got my o₩n $u₱₱ly of Remoraider$, but I am al₩ay$ looking for hard ₩orking goon$.
Then yôuse're Ꝉôôkin' at the right 2 feꝈꝈas bôss. We're gôôn extraôrdinaires. Every big undergrôund, ôr underwater as it was, empire needs a shôrt feꝈꝈa & a taꝈꝈ feꝈꝈa wôrkin' tôgether tô heꝈp enfôrce what's what, we're sure yôuse knôw dis fuꝈꝈ weꝈꝈ Mr. Crash. #GôônꝈife #Gôônin'
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #GrimdarkGoons #TheOnlyTrueGoons
Sômetimes da wôrk gets a ꝈittꝈe... messy. ReaꝈ wet. Grimdark is apt fôr it.
꒰ა(👀)໒꒱ b.ys wh. whimper when y.ure mean t. them
Môstuh da bôys get tô this pôint eventuaꝈꝈy.