Hop on Pop: A Realtime Analysis Hop on Pop, authored by one Theodor Geisel, is a children's classic. Its monosyllabic nature and wayward, meandering plot make it perfect reading material for those with minds of a similar consistency to a mudslide and with attention spans distracted as quick as also a mudslide. Of course, no piece of children's entertainment can exist without some dark purpose looming over it; one only need type "analog horror cartoon scary real -mlp" into their search engine of choice to be assured of that. With this in mind, I intend to deconstruct Geisel's writing to uncover whatever witch hexes or demonic sigils the man has hidden between the words. This will be done in parts, on no schedule besides my own interest. UP PUP Pup is up. The "pup" seems to be a snub-nosed breed, with especially fuzzy paws. It is perhaps a hybrid of man and canine given the apparent thumbs and ability to fix the reader with a smug grin. One must imagine its misshapen form bequeaths it with the gift of constant joint pain and breathing issues. The pup soars above a tree at great speed with apparent ease. A bird watches from below, amazed. The setting is unclear. If the bird is of an expected size (small enough for one to fit in a hand and two in a bush) then the tree is a sapling on a mound. If the bird is gigantic, then the pup is soaring high over lightly wooded hills. CUP PUP Pup in cup. PUP CUP Cup on pup. Moving on, our erstwhile pup finds itself frolicking with a large, yellowed tea cup. The color is almost sickly, suggesting that this cup was once a pristine white, but has become dulled and stained with age. Pup is able to entirely fit within the cup. It is large? Is Pup small? What does this imply about the previous size discrepancies? There is only one reasonable assumption to draw. The human-dog hybrid, which has the power of flight and has an unclear relationship with size is representative of one Miss Jade Harley. Mr. Geisel, either consciously through some foreknowledge of events, or subconsciously through the threads of paradox which weave in and out of reality, foreshadowed Jade's transformation and abilitiies. Is this a coincidence, simply a matter of the lack of need for spatial veracity in an early reader's picture book and the way Geisel spins together the fantastical and mundane to capture the hearts and minds of a demographic generally more focused on convincing Mother to un-wean them than in fine literature and hard science in fiction? No, surely not. #HopOnPop #FreudianAnalysis #Deconstruction #HegelianDialectics #MyLittlePonyMention #Breastfeeding #SpatialInconsistency #Reality #Unreality #UnethicalBreedingPractices Seuss, Dr. 2004. Hop On Pop. Random House.



