A Brief Guide to Successful Abduction Greetings. Lately, there has been a conspicuous increase in disappearances. Kidnappings, confinements, forced relocations, elaborate traps, mysterious vehicles, liminal spaces, ominous basements, and other regrettable transgressions. Now, dear reader, set down your ominous 'come alone' invitation to your rival and have a moment with me as I improve your already capable hands. The increased number of these actions is not an issue by itself; rather, it is the natural consequence of a community that seems enticed by the goings-on of others and their dramatized lives. The difficulty in the matter is that many of your prospective kidnappers seem to believe the story has concluded with the acquisition of the target. It simply does not. First, obtain their being. This need not destroy the surprise. You may even, in this sycophantic requisition of one's inventory, be able to establish boundaries, consequences, and duration. After all, if you wanted them dead, you would have done that already. Second, your victim may be a meaningful participant. Many of these kidnappings happen while the victim is awake. This will increase the struggle and increase their chances of using a platform like Chittr to alert their friends. An unconscious victim, however, does not provide the same exhilarating thrill that a waking one does. But it is mighty efficient. Being awake, they might have opportunities to investigate, negotiate, deceive you, provoke you, escape, or make things worse for themselves. Captivity restricts their freedom and agency if done properly. Third, have a purpose beyond possession. Sure, ransom is serviceable. Interrogation and "advanced interrogation" are traditional. Perhaps you want to recruit them. Is this revenge for a loved one? Would you like to experiment on the target? Are you seeking political leverage? Oh, how about fulfilling a prophecy? That is always an excellent recourse. Fourth, prepare properly for the captive to succeed in escaping. Locks may be opened. Guards may be persuaded. Allies may arrive. You, as the immaculate villain, may be struck with a chair. This is not sabotage. It is the mechanism of collaboration rather than the masturbatory fantasy of a powerful, monologuing foe. A captor who cannot tolerate losing control should avoid kidnapping when the central subject is control. Fifth, involve relevant parties with intention. Do not give the community evidence. Make demands of said parties. Do not permit witnesses. Send messages containing threats and displays of power. A bad disappearance creates several paths toward escape. A good one becomes a private issue among a select few, and then the ordeal ends. Sixth, do not mistake duration for significance. A kidnapping should last quite a long time if you wish to permanently alter just one individual. It would be a failure to hold onto someone for just a few days and then release them. What are you going to do in that time? I'll tell you what. If you do hold them for a shorter period, be sure to permanently damage as many of their relationships as possible. Go out of your way to do so. But if you hold them for a long time, you'll be able to show them just how forgettable they truly were to the world. Seventh, consider your aftermath. Rescue does not restore your victim to factory settings. Neither should escape, release, betrayal, or your sudden death as the captor. However, the more important aftermath is whether or not you achieved your goal. Maybe you damage their pan beyond recognition. Maybe their debts are repaid with the removal of that last fiddly digit of theirs. The conclusion of captivity should be the completion of your final goal. Don't leave any loose strings. Don't let yourself be found. Finally, remember that the objective is to prove your power over this individual. Do so in whatever way you see fit during this period. However, don't—and I repeat, do not—just let them go because you've proven this power. That's boring, and you have already sunk so many resources into this. Do something with them. Force them to learn a new language or scrub their cell with a sponge every day until they've developed calluses. But do not just let them languish. The accomplishment is creating a situation in which the captive, rescuers, witnesses, and interested spectators all emerge missing a piece of their souls. Plan accordingly. I should hate to see another perfectly serviceable basement wasted on a mediocre plot.
i didn't makr you do shit in there other than talk to me
I am afraid my intentions are lost on you, Saturn. I apologize for not conveying them in a more succinct manner directed towards you, specifically. Ultimately, this guide is akin to one of those reversible fleece blankets. It both tells you how to have a successful and private kidnapping as opposed to an unsuccessful yet publicly entertaining event. I know how trolls can get with their entertainment, especially on Alternia.
yeah exactly! you wvanted to break me dovwn to fulfill some sick twvisted sexual fantasy of yours. #nsfwv
it was a strictly platonic intervention when are you gonna let it the fuck go. i even said sorry. i even said hey you know what whatever keep bein you forever. ive accepted it.
EXPAND ON THAT. ONEGAI.
HOW LONG ARE YOU LETTING YOUR DISHES PILE UP. ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF CARING FOR YOURSELF. DO YOU NEED A MAID. DO YOU NEED TO BE #BEFORANCULLED. PLEASE PICK UP YOUR PALMHUSK.
what no no no my dishes are fine i am more than capable. i'm a strong independent saturn that cleans up after himself an everythin. i did not an do not engage in any #beforanculling ever in my life with anyone ever. i'm so good.
youre a vwillain and a cur.
ARE YOU SURE. BEFORE YOU ANSWER. JUST A REMINDER. THAT I AM SO SEXY. AND SO RESPONSIBLE. AND I CAN BE TRUSTED WITH UNCONDITIONAL AUTHORITY OVER VULNERABLE LIVING THINGS.
i believe you i so believe you babes i'm like the smash mouth hit i'm a believer if i wasn't in my good boy era right now i might even be all over that faster than white on rice. but i am. so i'm not. but hey thanks for recognizin my inherent vulnerability that means a lot i try to cultivate a balance between my strengths an weaknesses yknow anyway cool talk thanks chica ok bye.