♥ liked by @pipeFan
I may be a single childless millennial but I feel the cheesy puns of a father influence and tempt me
Wines pretty good if you're in the mood for it. Bourbon is also pretty fine. But. Above all else, you are correct. #Men, they're pretty damn great. #substance
Take a shot whenever the #nsfw tag appears on the timeline. #substances
peggers can't be choosers. #suggestive #nsfw
just say your pussy ain't shit and move on, bro. 's nothin' to be insecure about.
https://file.garden/aZKpRTtM0CnyBn8T/beatingson.png
🐾did ya hear 'boUt the latest drama at the circUs? gosh, i heard was 'iN-teNts'! ehehe! hehe,
🐾safe 'N fUN sirr i Promiseee x) !! keePiN' oUtta troUble ehehe hehe,
🐾#sUbstaNces || httPs://i.Postimg.cc/jsmcbhcz/hUNdsi-defdrUNk-atthebar.PNg 's sooo mUch fUN here !! x) x) ehehe, 's so chill 'ere 'N tastes Nice x) 🐾✨ thaNks ta amU for telliN' me 'boUt this sPot, real great bUddy 's sUPer cool 'N awesomeee x) hehe,
🐾how do deer keeP their coats lookiN' good? well, i heard it's 'caUse they Use 'PiNe combs'! x) hehe,
🐾why are colds bad crimiNals? well, it's 'caUse they’re easy to catch! x) hehe,
==> Question 9, from 🦎: ♠🤖💛🦎❓ 🦎🤝🤖 🤗😋❓ ==> ♠️🤖❤️🦎 ‼️❣️👬👫👭🫂🤗
🐾what kiNda material do moobeasts eNjoy readiN' the most? why, they eNjoy checkiN' oUt a good 'cattle-logUe'! hehe,
men. #suggestive
htt?s://file.garden/af4re93_cRz?6CAI/icant?roveit.gif #vague?ost
🐾how caN flames afford to be so bright? 'fire works'! hehe,
🐾what does a barkbeast like to eat for breakfast? they like to eat 'woofles'! hehe,
I'm so confused tbh I've got no clue what's happening.
d0n't think i had much of a h0rnypost tw0day. and it still counts as t0day until i sleep so https://64.media.tumblr.com/dd4554a8cc93cbf5d0d46ee7ac6acf25/871206ef6290409d-d0/s1280x1920/cad60bde0d96cb05edd131e49a08070e72d2cdb6.jpg
I AM HIGH WND I LOVE MY GIRLFR IENDS #SUBSTANCE I YESH
https://64.media.tumblr.com/cfdb7e619b50b70ead1855cfcaa6c50a/2154ef83bd531251-29/s1280x1920/2faa4845247d4717d1d83da5b32c96d6ec1577f6.jpg #shitp0st
🐾#Nsfw | what’s a Pirate’s favorite kiNk? PeggiNg! hehe,
sure feels like a september 11th kinda day.
Finally took an actual photo for my profile pic. // all credit for this goes to my friend @ro3dkill on Tumblr I love them go check them out they're so good https://i.ibb.co/8gd3kn92/IMG-5142.png https://i.ibb.co/tpbyydYy/IMG-5143.png
🐾if a PUrrbeast loses its tail, where does it go? why, it goes to the ''retail'' store! sNrrrk, hehe,
🐾why did the wizards show UP to their dUel emPty haNded? their weaPoNs were at a ''staff'' meetiNg! x) hehe,
🐾whooPs, didN't meaN to coNk oUt back iN my 'cUPe! where do barkbeasts Park their scUttleebUggies? they Park 'em iN the ''barkiNg'' lot! hehe,
// Pfp for Bro while I wait for my friend to finish the drawing #nsfw https://i.ibb.co/dJ4dHPW2/Bro-Strider-shits-his-pants.png
🐾wheN is a door Not a door? wheN it's ''ajar''! hehe,
🐾how did the robot get across the river? iN a ''ro-boat''! hehe,
🐾why was the foNt always tired? it was always ''bold''! sNrrrk, hehe,
🐾why are fish easy to weigh? becaUse they have their owN ''scales''! hehe,
This is objectively the funniest string of reactions. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b91c003cf946.png
DID YOU KNOW — nukes's list of sexiest sports for dudes: 1) baseball 2) billiards 3) rugby 4) boxing 5) basketball 6) volleyball 7) swimming 8) men's cabaret 9) boxing again 10) competitive planking #nuketroyer #nsfw ? #nsfwtroyer #nukebomb— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
I would never argue with a woman. I will, however, gently suggest alternatives while backing away slowly and maintaining eye contact.
Arf Arf Arf!!! /\ /\ ㅅ
Arf Arf Arf!!! /\ /\ ㅅ
I enjoy them greatly, sir. Keep it up!
As a father myself, I quite enjoy dad jokes.
i have another punchline
whiskey sounds like risky
https://i.postimg.cc/jdb609vY/IMG-0563.jpg
kicking it with @tentacleTherapist#7214 at the greyhouse /platonic https://i.postimg.cc/ZKBH4pzk/f19cfaebb5b9f6e3f9f4c9dc28cd8319.png
🐾why doN't scieNtists trUst atoms? becaUse... Ugh, i, i doN't eveN got aNythiNg for this oNe!! i'll come back to this later, sorry folks! x( hehe,
guys can't find the clitoris 'cause they're secretly hopin' a dick will be there instead. #nsfw
🐾what do yoU call a certaiN thieviNg rePtile? a ''crookodile''! hehe,
about to get into bed and watch 2001: a space odyssey. hell fucking yes.
🐾why did the develoPer go broke? they kePt sPeNdiNg all their ''cache''! hehe,
aw, thanks!
i'm gonna cook and tidy up the house. maybe train with a friend!
✿ GPS said its MY turn 😎
K--<moral of the story: his name was steve
! Oh, haha! This one took me a minute, wonderful!
im gonna start barking this to all my friends!!!! #dogjoke
Maybe meeting new people isn't so bad.
Wok3 up with two hot mat32prit2 in my b3d L3t2 goo
* ! SEARCH AND RESCUE ! * Thank you, all who applied for the Search and Rescue (SAR) division. There were many excellent candidates. As such, I have made the decision to appoint one SAR Administrator, and a few SAR members on reserve to assist when necessary. When called upon, I ask the reserved SAR members to take action under the guidance of the SAR Administrator. I am proud to announce the newly appointed SAR Administrator is none other than Mr. Jack Noir, @walkstabwalK. Those appointed to SAR reserve will be on payroll, and should report to Mr. Noir with any assignment updates. If there are any issues, you are free to reach out to myself of a member of my cabinet. Members of SAR on reserve: - The Fiendish, @whaleFall - Mr. Problem Sleuth, @pulchritudePowerhouse - Miss Blayke Varkei, @cyberneticCorporat - Nyrita, @bummelBoogie - Miss Aranea Serket, @araneaSerket Thank you, again, all who applied. I encourage you all to continue to do great things for Earth-C, and apply for any positions you find intriguing.
Alψays good to eel bonita~!
Hello chittr~! Remember I'm alψays gorgeous, and you are also alψays gorgeous~!! #slayeveryday #beautiful #gorgeous #ψokeuplikethis
It is almost five in the goddamn morning. The slow funneling of shit going directly to hell seems to have ceased, so it's about the right time to pass the fuck out. If everyone on Chittr could collectively decide to have a good day tomorrow. Well, today. That'd be cool, is all I'm saying. And no, for certain people who may see this chit, this isn't a vaguepost. I'm just tired as fuck. Anyway, later.
🐾how do yoU steal a coat? yoU ''jacket''! hehe,
🐾what is the hardest Part aboUt sky diviNg? the groUNd! hehe,
🐾hehehe! hehe,
critical thinkin'. strap that looks like a footlong sub. #nsfw
🐾why didN’t the oraNge wiN the race? it raN oUt of ''jUice''! hehe,
🐾waNt to hear a chimNey joke? got stacks of em! first oNe's oN the hive! sNrrrk, hehe,
🐾i'm loviNg this! ✨🐕 sNrrrk, heh, haha! hehe,
>> Th¡ડ one.. ¡ડ.. paડડab1e ¡ gueડડ
>> ¡'m g1ad you enjoyed ¡t, that'ડ a11 that matterડ. :)) The 1emur one waડ better tho
fishy fucks are likin' my chits. do they even have wifi in bikini bottom. can i have karen's number.
🐾this has beeN great thaNk yoU :) hehe,
smuppet with the pink glitter strap available now. dm me. #nsfw
strider special cheeseburger surprise. 20 bucks.
CANNOT thank @lightofDemocracy for hosting the #midnightcitygala enough! I haven't had that much fun in ages!!! Lookin' forward to everythin' she has planned for our city in the future, and hopin' to one day meet this mayor of hers. He sure sounds spiffy!
Broseph walks in on this shit and goes "wow I'm so happy I'm able to support you." This is what I'm dealing with here. This is why. Anyway, #NewOfficeDecor just dropped. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/chittr%20obamaverse/my%20office/bros%20so%20beautiful.png
pricked my fingers sewin' today. workin' hard. workin' hard so i can please you.
✨ I may not have rsvp’d for the main event of the gala, but I am truly happy to attend at the annex. A picture of what I am currently wearing for all who cannot see me attending, Many thanks for the drink. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a40718dc84e6.png @turingTranscendence #midnightcitygala ✨
it is hot as hell in this fucky ass hot ass room i'm in.
https://i.imgur.com/2l0IriA.jpeg @chillerAficionado 🥰🥰🥰💐💐
🐾what does a clock do wheN its hUNgry? it goes back ''foUr secoNds''! hehe,
look who's already on the grind. > The following attachment contains a selfie, where Casey (@viceroybubblesVsalamancr) is laying on top of j.eg with her tablet held above her face. j.eg seems to have just woken up, squinting as she takes the photo. Both are wearing cute matching blue pajamas. I'm just too lazy to draw this right now...
Did you hear that joke about the invisible ink? I have it written down somewhere, I just can't seem to find it... #jokes
🥹👋🎂👔💛💛
🐾my frieNd daavid jUst had his ''id'' stoleN... we jUst call him ''daav'' Now! hehe,
That sounds really cool actually. Dad has a Weird Red Crocodile that sometimes hangs out with him....i dunno if he has a name, but he calls him "Lil Dude" Some times
Casey is like....a Four foot salamander, right?
how sweet! it must be nice having such an excitable scamp in the home!
We should all never post again and just let Casey be the center of attention, that's my wisdom.
alright, feeling a little better. sorry for the last posts.
Getting restless again. Current long term plan is moving too slowly. I need to do something pointless and inconsequential. Or something life-altering. Maybe one thing that is somehow both.
🧃❗️❗️ 🧃🦎🕶✨🌟
Aww. Hello, you.
🛌🦎💤🧸
I shall. I’ve set some paracetamol (oh thank you autocorrect) ot for me tomorrow as well.
... Morning. I hope everyone has been treating themselves well.
🎀✨🤭💛
🦎💛💛🎂
i see. that works perfectly then. see you in the next few days.
mm. suppose so. could always change that. i got a nice couch and a lotta time on my hands if youd have me. ;) #suggestive
not what i wanted to hear. #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/584b7eea184a.jpg
aight sure, i'll bite.
I'd still hit.
:33 < im sorry fur yelling at mew :33 < i got too intense fur a moment, purrlease furrgive me meowster egpurrt
my dad took me to a convention about hats once.
Glad people like the new logo. You're welcome! https://64.media.tumblr.com/7840b41561469cc9c04d7dc6a524c6d6/833a1f5d27eced3a-64/s1280x1920/cbe8a75c854654c0f6591273faf5a813338e452f.png
u shuold get some more cfofee then it will help *should *coffee
When the sun sets low and the stars shine bright, I’m the gentle farewell to the end of the light.
[rubs hands together like a mischievous little guy then does an absolutely #nsfw jig]
#nsfw #wheresoback [The picture and short video are focused on his dick, a nice and shiny ring snugly at the base. Tucked up against it is a little vibrator with a wire going from it to a little battery pack, taped to his hip. His dick is hard and leaking, resting against his lower stomach. During the video, he's softly huffing and sighing from above, his cock twitching and throbbing.]
Do you wanna bone or not?
Eh. Whatever. Glad to know you're Bi or Pan or whatever.
Aw are you a queer? Me too just good to know old people can be gay too.
i dont care what he is i just want a restraining order
i found this nice oceania with life and i happened to land on one of it's polar caps! i took a sunset photo and it was so pretty :) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b16ab27252a3.png
I HAVE RECENTLY REDISCOVERED MY LOVE FOR BREAD BAKING AND IT HAS INCREASED MY OVERALL CLEANING TIME BY ABOUT TWO HOURS! THE FINAL RESULT IS ALWAYS WORTH IT, THOUGH I MAY START CONSIDERING SOME KIND OF MAID SERVICE... EITHER WAY, I HAVE BREAD! #SERIOUS #BUSINESS #BAKING SEND POST.
gym. #suggestive probably. [a photo of him lifting up his loose tanktop showing off his abs. He's glistening with sweat, a slight sheen glinting off his skin. His shorts are low enough to show a bit of happy trail creeping up past the waistband.]
Always a good watch. https://i.ibb.co/bMQCFY2n/image-2026-04-07-183136876.png
Saw a down-and-out in Midnight City last night. His sign said not “I need food” or “I need a job” but “I need a fat bitch”. What could this mean?
Don't look at my liked chits. There's someone on the feed incessantly posting photos of fat-cheeked bunnies and I am growing increasingly distracted from my work inbox.
Made a roast recently, and might I say I think it just might've been the best I've made in a long while!
April the 7th 1941, “Rule of thumb always got to be direct, some people won’t even know what you’re selling unless you shine a big ol’ spotlight on it. Morons.” -Signed Spades S. Esquire.
i forgot what i was going to post on here. anyways, look at this really cute drawing my baby girl drew for karkat and i a while back. https://i.imgur.com/RYrxY10.jpeg ((edited because i did it wrong, hashtag blessed to know how now. #art))
Still not used to my wings being so neat. Trying not to bite at em.
April the 7th 1941, “I have taken the opportunity to care for a crab pet in my free time, this will surely keep my sanity in the weeks to come.” -Signed Spades S. Esquire.
why is my dad on chittr. what business does he have to do on here? what business do *i* have to do on here? what is going on?? #thisisstupid #whatthehelly
https://64.media.tumblr.com/5580069c0d55ac79f4e67b00e9fc58f3/35df8b42513dfcac-c9/s400x600/145f0e0eea8c38c72be754b224ae842618afed86.jpg
YEAH.
NOW.
Consider me R.S.V.Pd! If u would liek help, pls dont hesitate to inquire 🤭😉🥳
CAKE.
#RefractoryPeriodPosting What's everyone having for lunch?
#NewBanner https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c38cc76791bc.jpeg
Red Ve7vet For $ure
CHOCOLATE.
Red
Red.
red velvet always
Hear me out, mix it so you got this sickass pink color
red velvet
Red velvet is the only way to go
Thank you adult human man with impeccable fashion sense
i literally need to go to bed or something i have a fucking headache and it genuinely might be from the mewgenics rap. I think I've been cursed.
5 millioon grapes it is then
can i change my @ and should i change my @ when do we get polls on this site what should my @ be
#suggestive ? https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/465705309080518657/1490820094849192006/20260315_192507.jpg?ex=69d571e8&is=69d42068&hm=246faa72bfdaf0199c029beb3985e462acf816aa351d73a36bed0e3b465d6494&=&format=webp&width=686&height=829