Jack Noir
@tenebrousCutthroat
You read the Carapacian's bio. It appears to be a well-maintained list of stab victims, with links to his various knife-themed alt accounts.
==> Greet old friend. You're shocked to see the face of @heartbreakingButch around this pigsty. Ol' Boxcars seems to have made a few adjustments to their gender since the last time you took a gander, but you know what? Good for her. You're just glad there's somebody *sane* here. You write her a chit to let her know of your presence, and the possibility of linking back up for another heist sometime.
AW FUCK NICE TO SEE A FAMILIAR FACE NOT AS PRETTY AS MINE BUT THATS HARD TO LIVE UP TO. YOU NAME THE TIME AND PLACE, AND ILL BE THERE FOR YA
==> Chat with the first normal person here. You chuckle, and inform Boxcars that it's not easy keeping your mug pretty when you keep eating crowbars to the face. Crowbars... You inform her to keep her ears to the ground. You're gonna take that Huge Bitch down soon, and you'll need all the help you can get.
==> Respond. Sigh. Some things never change, you suppose. Just keep your pulchritudinous pitchwise feelings in your pants on the job, Boxcars. Save it for the warehouse interrogation afterparty.
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓹𝓾𝓽 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓪𝓵 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓽𝓼 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓳𝓸𝓫, 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓾𝓹 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮.
==> Jegus Christ. It's her. Stay cool, Jack. You grip your trusty STRESS KNIFE as you type a cool and suave response to the lanky dame, not showing a hint of how badly she pisses you off. Not even a single one.
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓪𝓵𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮, 𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓹𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭. 𝓓𝓸 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻.
==> STAB HER STAB HER STAB HER STAB HER STAB HER STAB HER. Jesus christ, you hate this woman. On reflex alone you grab ol' faithful and drive it straight through the monitor of your PC.
==> Try and find somebody less pathetic on this website. You hunch over the desk in despair, before sitting upright once more to face the keyboard. Surely not everyone on this site is a pincushion, right? One of two of them have to have something resembling a backcarapace, you think, as you type a witty and charismatic (as always) missive on the virtues of bloodletting via sharp kitchen implement.
>> a 1ot of comp1a¡ntડ and excuડeડ for ડomeone who'ડ ડuppoડed1y a ડk¡11ed profeડડ¡ona1 ડtabber pડડhh ¡'11 be1¡eve ¡t when ¡ ડee ¡t, bud
==> Reply to the pathetic green one. No. You're sorry, but no. This one doesn't even justify a response.
==> Be the handsome Carapacian. Your name is JACK NOIR. You're a cutthroat criminal from the moon of DERSE, though you'd call yourself more of a STABBER WITHOUT BORDERS. You have many interests, including STABBING, STABBING, STABBING, STABBING, and NOT SPENDING TIME ON WEIRD TROLL WEBSITES. Unfortunately, it looks like you've found yourself on a WEIRD TROLL WEBSITE. And you haven't figured out how to STAB someone through the INTERNET yet.
==> Reply to the detective. You chuckle as you read the words of your former enemy, before informing him that - unless he's part of the INTERTIMELINE POLICE (INTERTPOL, for short) - he has no jurisdiction over your reality.
==> Reply, once again, to the strangle purple troll. God, is he trying to *flatter* you now? You politely but firmly inform him that you've perfected the art of knifeplay, and have no need for "TEST SUBJECTS".
My jurisdiction is where I damn well make it, Crab Noir! I was indulging in FENESTROLOGY back when these kids were in diapers, ain't nowhere a sleuth can't go! Also as if I'd wanna be one of those InterFOOLS anyway....
==> Once more, take valuable time out of your day to humour the strange purple fellow. You... honestly can't find a retort to this one. That's a damn good point. Maybe he ain't so bad after all.
==> Mock the detective. Yeah, take it up with your lawyer, you say as you aim a rude hand gesture squarely at your screen.
>> you cou1d probab1y ડtab me too ¡f you rea11y wanted y'know,, juડt ડay¡ng,,
==> Oh god, another one? These people are pathetic. Are they seriously *all* asking you to stab them?
==> Regret the life choices that lead you here. Kid like this, ain't even worth the knife. It'd be like stabbing wet sand. No fun at all.