@turophileGibber — #vent
back on my #yearning shit but like fuck i want him so bad want him like a goddamn mosquito wants those glowy blue lights that zap them on contact im pretty fucking sure im in love with him and he says he likes me we do romantic shit, we sleep together he tells me im his but he hesitates when i bring up dating in passing indirect style cause im real lowkey and im just so certain he doesnt like me like *that* and its gnarly and gutting me but we all know im chained im locked in im fucking myself over and settling for the scraps he tosses in my bowl probably out of like pity or something
look not to whine on here like a poor little kicked puppy but it is pretty weird being literal years behind my friends everyones been alive doing their own things growing and developing relationships like theyre speedrunning the life board game and shit and im just sitting here trying to catch up when from my perspective no time has passed its fucking weird to blink and suddenly everyones older and wiser and theyve all settled in or started to settle into domestic lives, i mean shit i didnt get to see my sister get married or be there for june while she discovered herself, or fuck all its nauseating kn...Read more
i kind of wish i could abuse my power and go back and change how shit went dirk offered to once after a real bad day he was like it cant be that hard for the both of us to take him down and he replace him and little dave wouldnt be none the wiser but i think i wouldve, like baby me wouldve questioned it cause it was so ingrained in me to walk on eggshells but at the same time its not like the idea hasnt tempted me i mean shit i have like two good memories with him one was when i came out to him as trans and he just silently walked off before tossing me some of his shirts probably from like high school...Read more
maybe its just cause its late and im getting melancholic but damn every pride month just kinda makes me think about when i was a kid n i took a dull ass knife to my hair and just started trying to saw it off and bro found me being a total butt baby during it and he didnt say a word he grabbed some scissors from idek where and fixed the mess id made before spending a good while putting what was left of my hair in locs and like a lot of shitty stuff happened. no denying that i mean fuck i really dont think he felt anything for me and just kinda tolerated me for the most part but for just a day i kinda t...Read more
and here i thought i was past being jealous of other versions of myself #vent kinda not really but whatever