WAKE THE FUCK UP OUT OF YOUR BURIAL SITES, EVERYBODY. START GROANING AND HOLDING YOUR FRONDS OUT IN FRONT OF YOU AND STUMBLING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF IMPUDENT CHIMPS WITH BALANCE ISSUES. CINEMANIACS OF #ABCC. GET READY TO FUCKING GET CINEMANIACAL ONCE AGAIN THIS WEEK FOR WHAT OUR FILM LEADERS HAVE DUBBED AS “MEAT” WEEK. WHY MEAT? BECAUSE THESE MOVIES ARE FUCKING MEATY, IS THE EXPLANATION I GOT BEFORE POSTING THIS. WE ARE SO GODDAMN WITTY. WE’VE GOT ONE HELL OF A LINEUP FOR YOU. TAKE A LOOK: #GMT-ABCC IS HOSTING PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES (2016). #EST-ABCC IS HOSTING SWEENEY TODD (2007). #PST-ABCC IS HOSTING FRANKENSTEIN (2025). YOU SHOULDN’T MISS ANY OF THESE FILMS, AS IF YOU DON’T GET THE COMPLETE MOVIE MARATHON, YOU REALLY AREN’T TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE COMPLEX SYSTEM AND NETWORK OF JUICY FILM BRO CONTENT WE’VE PUT IN PLACE FOR YOU. THANK YOUR FELLOW FILM LEADERS, YEAH? THEY (*WE*) WORK HARD TO CURATE THESE MOVIES FOR YOU ALL. ANYWAY. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 21:00 (9PM) SHARP ON FRIDAY FOR OUR GHASTLY MIST VIEWERS, THEN ONTO 7 PM EST FOR SWEENEY TODD, AND 7 PM PST FOR FRANKENSTEIN. SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CONFUSED ON THE TIMING FOR MY SPECIFIC SHOWINGS ON FRIDAY, AND TO THIS I SAY: I HAVE A FUCKING JOB, AND THAT JOB REQUIRES ME TO USE MY SPONGE FOR IT, AND THEN I HAVE A LIFE BEFORE 9 PM AFTER I GET HOME FROM SAID JOB. #EMPLOYEDPROBLEMS. #MAKINGDINNERANDSHOWERINGPROBLEMS. SO, I HUMBLY ASK YOU TO SUCK IT THE FUCK UP AND DEAL WITH MY TIME CHANGE. THE WEBSITE WILL REFLECT THIS. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG AN #ABCC-GMT TAG TO LIVEBLOG WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRERS, ETC ETC BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR A MOVIE SUGGESTION OF YOUR OWN, HEAD TO ABCC'S WEBSITE, LINKED BELOW. I’VE ALSO LINKED A CHAT BOX FOR ONGOING MOVIE DISCUSSIONS IN THE FORUM STYLE, SO WE CAN ALL DEBRIEF OR PREBRIEF WITHOUT CLOGGING THE FEED. SOME PEOPLE DON’T WANNA SEE THAT SHIT. THEY’RE MISSING OUT, BUT FAIR IS FAIR. RSVP IN THE COMMENTS NOW WITH YOUR PREFERRED SHOWING(S). #GETIN.
:33< meat! meat! meat!
FITTING THAT THE BLOOD GUY SHOULD BE THE ONE TO CHITT THIS WIPE'S #ABCC-SINLIST. WHAT IS MEAT BUT A DRY SPONGE, WAITING TO BE ENGORGED WITH THE LIFEBLOOD OF BEATING, PULSATING CINEMATIC *VIGOR.* GORE AMIDST DOILIES. ILL-GOTTEN CULLFLESH MADE PALATABLE IN PASTRY. A LITURGY TO THE CARNAL, TO THE RAW, IRREVERENT TRUTH OF THE BODY AND THE NON-EXISTENCE OF THE SOUL. SEE IT ALL. BURY YOUR PRONGS UP TO THE FUCKING ELBOWS IN SWEET, CINEMATIC VISCERA. DO A FUCKING SWAN DIVE STRAIGHT INTO THIS WIPE'S EAGERLY AWAITED THEME. AND #GETIN, EVERYBODY. IT'S FUCKING #MEATWEEK.
TRUST AND BELIEVE MY PRONGS ARE STUCK RIGHT INTO THIS SLOPPY MASS OF EAGER, GREEDY, DISGUSTINGLY VILE, THROBBING… YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS GRAND ALLEGORY WAS GOING. IGNORE IT. I’LL BE THERE FOR HOPEFULLY ALL THREE. EVEN IF I HAVE TO STAY UP ALL LIGHT.
. GIRL, WHAT.
HEY, DON’T YOU STEAL THAT LINE FROM ME, YOU BITCH. I’LL KILL YOU.
"DON'T STEAL THAT LINE FROM ME." ARE YOU DENSE IN THE NUG, SHIT-FOR-SPONGE. GO AHEAD AND LOOK AT THE NAME REGISTERED ON YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. THEN LOOK AT MINE. THEN FIND A LEGISLACERATOR TO SORT YOUR SHIT OUT AND WALLOP YOU OVER THE HEAD FOR BEING SO STUPID. I'LL WALLOP MY OWN HEAD IN SOLIDARITY. BECAUSE WE ARE, LEST YOUR HOLE-RIDDLED PAN FORGET. #THESAMEGUY.
YOU KNOW WHAT. I WILL FIND A LEGISLACERATOR FOR YOU. A REALLY FUCKING GREAT ONE, IN FACT. OH YEAH. I MEAN *THAT* ONE. FEAR ME, BULGEWAD.
... WAIT, NO.
fucking incredible picks
YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME.