β¦ pitied by @ardourAugury
testimony: my routine as a ghost: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/7vOEN63UtwcoT7TmTthoNW?si=VQDe31ZJS6CPLylArIKgUg
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/5DTOOkooKFUvWj1XQTFa09?si=SAXnmsF8Q4i83HYLtElP5A
cross examination: @ardourAugury do you think i don't see you pitying all my chits?? 21 notifications is excessive. I am doing fine. + also you don't know me #targetedposting
point of order: skill issue ππββοΈπ€π ποΈβ±οΈπ¦©π΄π₯₯πΉππͺ©π¦β±οΈ
testimony: you should cull yourself
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! if i should file another restraining order on your behalf, it will be charged as a separate filing since the first one is already being processed. DISCLAIMER! evidet is now entitled to the returning client's discount though! + of course, FWD: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY! <- the appropriate policy with these things. that's what i always say
re: DW: k π€
testimony: admittedly this explains the unusually high number of caspers per capita i tend to see around here
direct examination expert testimony: don't ask stupid questions
re: all that: you don't see it? seems clear enough to me what's so uncomfortable about seeing another version of you who exhibits all your worst tendencies
testimony: α΄ΉB)
cross examination testimony: let the record reflect that from a philosophical st+point it could be argued that its equally fair to describe the alive one as an alternate of *me*
point of order: enlist*
testimony: fucking LOL?????????????
point of order: you too broke for a palmhusk?
concur with co-counsel: yeah. anything at all. π€
cross examination: what?
point of order: none of us are particularly real. there's no such thing.
testimony: im the #1 fan of the fallacy fallacy. nitpick every argument instead of engage with it forever π π¦©πͺ©
testimony: sometimes you see something + you have to go through in your head what the objection battle would be like to try + get it entered or prevent it from entering as an exhibit. like yeah it's a bad look to say that, but it's definitely hearsay under rule 801 so you'd think that puts you in the clear, but then there's an exception that mostly applies or you could try + get it on the record with a limiting instruction not to use it for the truth of the matter asserted, but then you can bring up more substantially more prejudicial than probative if opposing counsel straight up just said it has *no* truth value, + then you're off to the races + it's anyones game
point of order: i don't like that
testimony: your degrees don't go away when you die, right? i still got a jurisceration doctorate
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/4VJHw4VLJTx4IC0xFQz7Gh?si=sLtxBEBoRnq56A2D7kILMw π€
motion to publish to the jury: never meant to last, never meant to last / + i have been drunk now for over two weeks / i passed out + i rallied + i sprung a few leaks / but i got to stop wishin', got to go fishin' / down to rock bottom again / (just a few friends, just a few friends.....) #lyricsposting #TWJimmieBufett?
testimony: this site is host to the most fascinating neuroses
point of order: if it helps i still think its an improvement over the old look
direct examination: are we still friends
response on those grounds: i dont like mustaches. you keep it up though ππββοΈπ€
testimony: everyone else is liking + commenting on the nonbinary beach dualscar selfie because they're horny. i could give less of a fuck i am here for the nonbinary beach lifestyle/unlifestyle forever. in this i wholeheartedly support even kinda ugly people, like him
publishing to the jury: httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/846000ce7432.jpg
direct examination expert testimony: it's all in the moan π€
testimony: man my quirk used to be so convoluted. "reading onto the record" is basically just testifying, why would you imply the whole exhibit dance + make a motion to enter it into evidence when you can just say you're directly publishing to the jury, + why on alterniaaaa would you use the phrase "sidebar outside earshot of the jury" to clarify you're being off the record. #unemployedtip: fuckin chillax
OBJECTION! CAN YOU STOPPP
reading onto the record: i can also write troll twilight fanfiction here it goes. "jakobi..." nonbinary izabel yelled loudly "what is it bitch" nonbinary jakobi said (it calls izabel bitch because he's like a wolfbeast + stuff + they're mates...prits) "do you know what is happening with the sky..." "no-o-awoo" he said sadly. because it had jack shit to do with the m-awoons it was really not his area of expertise. "i know fuck-all." "neither does anyone else..." izabel said + then everything went weird + also both of them died (sexily) like how everyone dies eventually except apparently eventually is right now + suddenly everyone is dead they're all dead they're all dead they're all dead #teamjakobi #facts #philosophytip
}(]]]]]) < let's all hear five biΗ¦ booms for this fool > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #Η¦uzmoΗ¦Η¦ed > ([[[[[){ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/1b08ab7bbcaa.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/09febc8f8f90.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/a17262a5c358.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/5b169c884009.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/fb32cd10ea64.jβ½eΗ¦
THIS IS BULLSHIT.
RESPOND TO MY FUCKING TEXTS PROPERLY!!!
publishing to the jury: okay so im going to delete my chittr actually . bye everyone httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/513d17cafe38.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/beeb4a43739e.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/d1884c93e511.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/29a31b8a60af.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/a1db435ed540.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/fd7131f0c3dc.jpg
testimony: my official yelping-in-pain review of the dream bubbles quasi-infinite lazy river: 3.5 stars; the next best thing to comfortable malaise
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/4VJHw4VLJTx4IC0xFQz7Gh?si=mm850nymR6-ww2h8MKIUZA
testimony: i, too, would fuck those trees
publishing to the jury: i've been taking for granted that they sway pleasantly even when there's no breeze to speak of httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/88541ce12977.jpg
Just watβ¬hed "Wherein a β¬onβ¬upisβ¬ently Repressed Legislaβ¬erator Hires a Reβ¬ently Institutionalised Lowblood Assistant; She β¬onduβ¬ts Several Instanβ¬es of Self-Mutilation; He Loses Foβ¬us and Begins a β¬onsensual Workplaβ¬e Relationship; They Bond Over Appropriate β¬orporal Punishment for an Inadequate Employee, in β¬onjunβ¬tion with Budding Flushed Feelings; One Instanβ¬e of Bondage Similar to the Signless' Restraints; One Instanβ¬e of Hoofbeastplay; β¬ontinued Instanβ¬es of Impaβ¬t Play Surrounding Sitbulbs; Four Instanβ¬es of Self-Pailing, One Being Onto Another Troll; an Ex-Matesprit is Introduβ¬ed and Promptly Fridged, Sinβ¬e the Lowblood Has Outgrown His Lukewarm β¬oupling; She is Fired Beβ¬ause of The Legislaβ¬erator's Fear of His Feelings; Ending With a Laβ¬k of a Wedding, Prolonged Waiting, One Instanβ¬e of Involuntary Waste Disposal, and a Final Red β¬oupling on an Indoor Lawn Ring." on my Head of TR's reβ¬ommendation. It was satisfaβ¬tory. #nsfw
i think i might be the first cis 60s guy in the wvorld
direct examination: yeh π
testimony: i think i might be the first nonbinary person to understand not being nonbinary. testimony: im sitting on a beach chair in a spottedmeowbeast print hawaiian shirt, margaritaville by jimmie bufett is playing, n there's an adorable flamingo on my chest
testimony: everybody's always pitying my chits even though i am literally chilling. you could never understand α΄ΉB)
testimony: pros n cons of getting out of the lazy river... hm nope nothing's coming up
testimony: lowkey i am taking applications for a new best friend π
direct examination testimony: throw a glass at your head π
testimony: π
testimony: yooo what's up α΄ΉB)
objection: i pay 1 life n exile a blue card from my hand to cast force of will n counter your counterspell. let's see where vinnik is going with this
testimony: one problem with my quirk is that i don't really get to designate anything as a redirect or a recross even though thats definitely the most fun way to talk to a witness. n then i could be like "haha i just asked a question that was out of scope of the inciting direct/cross but no one's going to call me out on it because this is meaningless" n its like im getting away with something
direct examination: had to think about it huh? @chillerAficionado httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/905eb1a0b43e.png
Least favorite thing a ghost has ever said to me has got to be the time one told me that at my age | I was almost as dead as he was | Canβt stand being a rust sometimes β§βΛπ§Ή
point of order: nice to meet you too
testimony: you have fun with that then LOL
testimony: 15% is rookie numbers π§πΉπβπ©
testimony: in the abstract it's kind of interesting to see which of my friends like me more as a chill corpse who lowkey DGAF n which of my friends like me more as a high-strung egomaniac obsessed with games for wrigglers. n in the less-abstract, close-up n tangible sense, it is very very funny
re: all that: admittedly kind of awesome
direct examination: why not just stay dead? it's easy breezy π
testimony: there's "more than one" of plenty of people. why not that freak
testimony: i hope you have fun
point of order: i'm given to understand that this is how some of my dream bubble neighbors choose to spend their retirement, but i figure it'll get boring eventually. everything does
testimony: LOL if you were the ghost you wouldn't have to do laundry
re: real: only as real as anything else is ππββοΈπ€πΉπ§πβπ©π¦©π α΄ΉB)
point of order: all doves are dead doves eventually. no reason not to look at em they got neat feathers
direct examination testimony: πͺ·
testimony: like star trek...
testimony: don't we all, kid, don't we all...
point of order: no one is "supposed" to make it
testimony: dead troll surfing ππββοΈ
objection: all experiences are wasted experiences π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π―πββοΈπΉπ§π π¦©ππ€
re: blade of grass: that's what i've been sayingggg
testimony: keep it sleazy guys α΄ΉB)
uh huh, uh huh... say babe its been a vwhile, wvhat do say i pull out the one troll trampoline and wve go #bouncingonit a bit?~
vwovw babe haha, howv high do you evwen need to be to come up wvith this stuff?
testimony: probably the best thing about this corner of the dream bubbles is that jimmie bufett music is playing always forever. like yeah we *are* wasting away in margaritaville man you get it π€
testimony: i would just drop my palmhusk into the lazy river styx over here but the damn thing will probably just reappear. the dream bubbles are just so *helpful* with providing you all *sorts* of luxuries
testimony: cheers i'll drink to that π»
response on those grounds: me too that's why i picked it
direct examination: anyone here read margox's got caegar troubles? a copy of it manifested here n i might poke through it
LikΒ£, LMAO??
MY TRAuMA HAS LEVELED THE FuCK uP. AND LIKE NANOMACHINES. I HARDEN IN RESPONSE TO IT. uNTIL IMPERVIOuS ENTIRELY. MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY MAKES INEVITABLE A TRAGIC FuTuRE FOR OTHERS. SuCH IS THE LAW OF CAuSALITY. SuCH IS THE NATuRE OF MY EMINENCE.