β¦ pitied by @ardourAugury
consort with co-counsel: @theticCollation https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a836f8f3fd05.jpg
testimony: hahahahaha the nice thing about whenever something goes wrong is that if you think about it i can also blame @glitteringAcuity
publishing to the jury: captain's log: star date 67.420e^βΟ opening statement: dear diary: this is my first entry, + i have to admit i don't know the proper decorum. maybe i should introduce myself, but i don't exactly know what's worth mentioning... i'm dead, obviously. i still go by trycks treats. it's still just as accurate to call me filigree hallowen, esq., but i've played around with a few alternate titles. the flamingo is particularly fun. but there hasn't really been a reason not to just use my hatchname, so that's been the default. i mean, i'm not exactly a practicing legislacerator anymore, there's no reason for formalitiesβ¦ i don't know. anyways, i've been dead for a long time. so has everyone from my timeline, as far as i can tell, not that i. testimony: moving on. this is a traveler's log of the dreambubbles. there's no sense of time, so i'll just devote an entry to each bubble i explore, starting here. testimony: insofar as it needs a name to be written about, the bubble i'm writing this entry from is the margaritaville bubble. i have been here for a very long time. very recently i've been to some other bubbles, but i keep coming back here. to peoplewatch, if nothing else point of order: i haven't gotten back in the lazy river. testimony: which, uh, leads me to the next bit where i describe this place. aside from my general review, which i might as well say here instead of leave for the end: it's the next best thing to comfortable malaise. sidebar: fucking hell it sounds pretentious when i'm writing in the notes app instead of just posting directly on chittr. i guess i've never minded being pretentious but its a little embarrassing. whatever testimony: anyways, this place is a take on the idea of a beach. not as abstract of a representation as it could be, or surreal or jazy or dreamlike or what-have-you, but certainly more artificial than someone's direct memory of a beachside, or a thous+ people's memory of a beachside testimony: as far as i can tell, it *is* stitched together from a lot of different memories, rather than recreating any single one. it makes the place more metaphorically real, gives it physical heft + sensation, alongside enabling it to take up a plausibly-infinite amount of dreamspace, but it becomes unspecific in another way. not undefined... i don't know. i just unlive here, not study it testimony: to quit waxing rhapsodical for a second + describe the damn place, it's actually a riverbank. it stretches on for what might be forever, endless + mostly empty dunes of s+ that wide this way + that around a 4-5 strut pods deep, maybe 7 strut pods wide if that. there's an endless parade of trolls in buoyancyrings, lounging in various states of relaxation + disassociation as the river washes amiably ever forward. the immediate bank of the river is concrete, as are the sides + bottom of the river itself. there's river rocks + pebbles dotted along, in piles that appear entirely natural (albeit strange for being on concrete rather than, i don't know, dirt) but are placed in that arrangement at exactly consistent intervals much further than the gaze bulbs can see in either direction. sidebar: i spent a lot of time in one of those buouyancyrings, time being as-ever a relative term. it was a nice enough place to give up, but i can't earnestly recommend it. testimony: beyond the riverbanks, though, at least less blatantly trollmade, is the beach. one side is s+ dunes + one side is shore. it does not extend in either direction farther than you can easily see from your position on the river, flowing waves + piles of s+ cut off into perfect nothingness past a fixed horizon line, neatly severed from pretense. testimony: the beach has variety: cheaply-made lawnring flamingos, frondtrees swaying gentle in the completely still absence of any breeze to speak of, mildly different variations on the formula that is less defined than the endless lazy river's. i can see a little bar st+ here of some alien design, from which i have enjoyed mostly margaritas of various flavors. testimony: this stretch of beach has s+ that is pleasantly coarse, gray + cold, + has been delicately threaded with kelp. the water isn't the murky turmulent gray that would match the s+ in its natural biome: it's the exact same piercing, clear, slowly-lapping blue that is, removed of the context of the closest thing to infinity i can imagine, admittedly quite pleasant. there's sections of green that imply varying depth in tropical waters, although there is nothing at all beneath the surface of the water. sidebar: it's strange. the fog that comes from a beach like this would obviously ruin the pseudotropical atmosphere that i am here precisely because i crave, but its absence is jarring + wrong. testimony: sitting at the edge of the shore, strut pods hanging off the edge, is unsettling. the nausea it induces is novel enough i have tried not to overindulge testimony: i don't like the side with dunes nearly as much, but you have to admit it has the better view of the shore + its other inhabitants. the lawn chairs are alright, but i think i prefer sitting on a towel in the shade of a frond tree. testimony: now that i'm stationary, rather than drifting, i can hear the songs being played around me in full rather than simply catching sections of them. it will not surprise you to learn that it is primarily the works of the legendary jimmie bufett, but i've heard other tunes plucked out inexpertly on nearby ukeleles. that part i do recommend closing statement: this place helped me through something, + i will miss it. i hope i don't come back.
testimony: this one is unironically nicer
voir dire testimony: definitely that one π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯ ππββοΈπ€ποΈπ΄β±οΈπ¦©πͺ©π΄π₯₯πΉππ¦©π€
off the record: o shit my bad. i like you more now that i know you're nonbinary
response on those grounds: yeah? mr rayven skrows? you, a troll with the first name rayven last name skrows? really? are you sure
disclaimer: i also fuck with parrots π¦
point of order: there are better birds out there π¦©
cross examination: what the fuck
GANDERβS GANDER INTO THE FOLKS OF CHITTR PART ββ β @glaringActuality Trycks Treats WARNING: #LONG β¦ Wait a minute, havenβt we already DONE Trycks Treats? YES! WE HAVE! But this is a DIFFERENT TRYCKS. This one (β)β¦ is DEAD. (CROWD GASP!) (Is saying Dead insensitive? Geese, I hope not. Existentially challenged? Unalive? No, unalive is dumb. What is this, Newspeak on a Budget?) This blog will be a little different than the others: I want to begin with JUXTAPOSING THE TRYCKSES before delving into who Dead Trycks is. (For that, I want to politely redirect you to PART ββ OF THIS WINDINGLY-LONG SERIES TO REFRESH YOURSELF ON WHAT WEβRE DEALING WITH HERE.) Youβd think there wouldnβt be differences to point out, but this couldnβt be any Further from the Truth. I also append this with a Hypothesis and an Offer extended to all of my Dead Chittrers. If YOU, TOO, ARE NO LONGER ON THE LIVING PLANE, please stick around to hearread what I have in store. With that out of the way, letβs Take A Gander at Trycks Treats! (CROWD CHEER!!) i. THE THESPIAN To quickly recap, Trycks Treats, at her culmination, struggles with who she is behind the Stage Curtains. Trycks, irrespective of the VERSION YOUβRE LOOKING AT, is not comfortable with the absence of its mask; more than that, sevs ROLE in society. Itβs easier to be defined by the world than having to come to that conclusion yourself, and I think Trycks (Dead) attests to that. To keep it Short, Sweet, and Easy on the Bulbs: the Trycks you know here is dead. Literally. But I do also mean this figuratively, in the way that the legislacerating front has been long shed. OK, LOOK, Iβm not saying that sev is a COMPLETELY different person now. Think of it as a divergence from the CORE OF TRYCKSββat least, the One (β) We All Know. β is a BAD END that emerged from the grave to bombard you with a Grimterestboard Menagerie of Emojis and GOOD VIBEZ. Trycks is diametrically opposed to the one we know in a way that has you straightening on your chair and wondering WHAT WENT βββ? Not because of the Tragedy sev has faced, but the fact that suddenly, sev has capsized sevs OWN IDENTITY. No longer loud and bombastic, but adopting a quieter policy, not simply in cadence alone. Relax, put your pods β and float idly in the lazy river that is the REST OF YOUR DEATH. It sure is easy being dead. Trycks has abandoned just about everything that made him a HARDWORKER to pursue a simpler life, an Easy One, in his words. No more acting, β? Not really. The (metaphorical) Thespian isnβt dead. That title still rings true in the Grand Scheme Of Things. Because you find that, where the vacancy opens, a new pretence occβies its space. β takes on the FOREVER VACATION mindset, a place where all your qualms go to rest. You can indulge and keep indulging without pause like the Hedonist you are. But this in itself is still another front he wears. Thereβs little ingenuity in that, no matter what it tells you. Having said that, allow me to posit my first conclusion: The Vacation is a Lie. ii. THE FLAMINGO Wait. The Vacation is a LIE?! (Plot Twist!) (I Donβt Mean This Literally!) (But The Vacation Means Something!) (Metaphorically!) I mean, if the grass is so good on the other side, surely thereβs no need to JUMP THE FENCE to mingle with the Living Locals. Wouldnβt that make you feel worse? Surely one (β) understands the hierarchical dichotomy that is ALIVE VS DEAD? Simply put, Trycks has reached out as a way of feeling less isolated in the Afterlife, striking conversations with people she once knew, and lingering over them like the smell of perfume. Perhaps the truth is as it believes: it interacts with others to sate its boredom and catch β with old friends. If you asked me, itβs even more selfish. Itβs Desperation. Itβs REFUSAL that death is forever. Because reaching out wasnβt the cure, but the symptom. The plight of the DEAD, I find, is the fact that your mind doesnβt die. Maybe it diminishes over time, but it never truly ceases. The worst part is, the fallout is happening β in front of us. Letβs face it: the replacement of the act was never the point. In the pursuit of being opposite to his ideals, he has become a caricature of himself. A statement that bleeds into what she is and isnβt at the same time: someone who can only function in hiding, and someone pretends they don't. One layer has to be under another in order not to topple over completely. Relaxation veils desperation. Itβs all to distance sevenself from the glaring actuality: sev is dead, and there is little sev can do about it. Thatβs why itβs easier to call death a vacation from responsibility, given that you no longer have anything to do. HOWEVER, Trycks is grounded by activity, the thrill of HAVING SOMETHING TO DO. This isnβt any different for this edition. Even if it proclaims the CALM LIFE IS THE BETTER DEATH, that desire to be active isnβt lost on it. Rather, itβs morphed into a sort of stagnancy, a foist into untimely retirement. All this knowledge has become worthless since thereβs no case to defend. The flamingo, above all else, represents balance and its loss. Someone (β) as well-spoken and argumentative as Trycks Treats having all their talents become obsolete can leave you with a deepening ache, especially for someone who lives for the crowd. What happens when the curtains fall on you? I understand how harrowing it is to lose your own life, thus being thrown off your lifeβs Trajectory. The flamingo is dead. But the flamingo also represents Fantasy. A Clumsy Escape. The cloying taste of pink in your mouth that makes your tract sick. A dead flamingo is still pink. You still have something to look at. OK, OK, IβM DONE WITH THE ANALOGY. The point is, all of this has been a crafted COPING MECHANISM, disconnected complacency only a front to the real grief he hides from. When you are removed from all that you know, you turn belly-side β, and itβs NOT for a moontan. For what itβs worth, Iβm sorry for everything you had to endure. I can understand why you cling to the #CHILLMODE Refrainββyou arenβt ready to let go yet. The clever adapt, and you are doing exactly that; shifting to your situation and looking for the best opportunity. But this isnβt your destination either. Donβt think it is. You are a person who β₯s to feel like theyβre winning. This HASNβT CHANGED: youβve tried to best your circumstances by taking your death as an ABSOLUTE WIN. YOU CANNOT STAND THE FEELING OF BEING BEATEN. The problem is, youβre already at the end of the finishing line. You donβt have to keep running. Not from your issues, not from your grief, not from who you are. π¨ to someone, even yourself. (The living version of you.) I mean, no one can understand you Better Than Trycks Treats, and yet you continually poke fun at him. Try to Know who You Are and what to do next, even if it means peeling away at everything. Find the fundamentals. You have all eternity to do so. When youβre ready, the truth youβre looking for will finally blossom. (SUSPECTED CLASSPECT: ROGUE OF VOID? An interesting case. TRYCKS HAS INVERTED! This doesnβt mean β has turned from the light. Itβs the opposite. The BASK OF KNOWLEDGE has become FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. What am I meant to do? I donβt want to go. I had everything figured out, once. The fear of being nothing but a shadow of what it once was. This is why heβs here, trying to make his presence as known as possible. This is a fear she will grow into and ultimately harness as her own strength.) ADDENDUM: PIXELLATION + AN OFFER So it has been SECONDHANDEDLY PROVEN that there is LIFE AFTER DEATH, and it isnβt as Nice as you think. You donβt get the privilege to die forever, only exist in a different medium. I donβt think anyone π¨s about the horrors of living in a limbo painted as The End. We can see here that it isnβt necessarily PEACEFUL beyond the CHILLAXING OVERTONES. If anything, itβs TERRIFYING. Youβre alone, wandering, and expected to melt away for the rest of eternity. You aren't ready to call it quits, you had a whole LIFE ahead of you! Like pixels on a screen that keeps shrinking. A face you canβt entirely make out anymore. There was an art piece here β to admire. Itβs for that reason I want to extend the possibility of a private interview session for those from the AFTERLIFE. Think of it as a way to examine, sympathize, and preserve you + your memories in these trying times. Iβd like to hear things from YOUR side and see if we can make your circumstances a little Easier. Does that make this an impromptu therapy session? Well, Iβm not Certified, but I can Sure Try! (Rhyme) Anywhom. You should Follow Trycks Treatsβ¦ NOW! Iβm gonna get a Move On with these interview questions. SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE! #gandertag
testimony: my routine as a ghost: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/7vOEN63UtwcoT7TmTthoNW?si=VQDe31ZJS6CPLylArIKgUg
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/5DTOOkooKFUvWj1XQTFa09?si=SAXnmsF8Q4i83HYLtElP5A
cross examination: @ardourAugury do you think i don't see you pitying all my chits?? 21 notifications is excessive. I am doing fine. + also you don't know me #targetedposting
point of order: skill issue ππββοΈπ€π ποΈβ±οΈπ¦©π΄π₯₯πΉππͺ©π¦β±οΈ
testimony: you should cull yourself
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! if i should file another restraining order on your behalf, it will be charged as a separate filing since the first one is already being processed. DISCLAIMER! evidet is now entitled to the returning client's discount though! + of course, FWD: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY! <- the appropriate policy with these things. that's what i always say
re: DW: k π€
testimony: admittedly this explains the unusually high number of caspers per capita i tend to see around here
direct examination expert testimony: don't ask stupid questions
re: all that: you don't see it? seems clear enough to me what's so uncomfortable about seeing another version of you who exhibits all your worst tendencies
testimony: α΄ΉB)
cross examination testimony: let the record reflect that from a philosophical st+point it could be argued that its equally fair to describe the alive one as an alternate of *me*
point of order: enlist*
testimony: fucking LOL?????????????
point of order: you too broke for a palmhusk?
concur with co-counsel: yeah. anything at all. π€
cross examination: what?
point of order: none of us are particularly real. there's no such thing.
testimony: im the #1 fan of the fallacy fallacy. nitpick every argument instead of engage with it forever π π¦©πͺ©
testimony: sometimes you see something + you have to go through in your head what the objection battle would be like to try + get it entered or prevent it from entering as an exhibit. like yeah it's a bad look to say that, but it's definitely hearsay under rule 801 so you'd think that puts you in the clear, but then there's an exception that mostly applies or you could try + get it on the record with a limiting instruction not to use it for the truth of the matter asserted, but then you can bring up more substantially more prejudicial than probative if opposing counsel straight up just said it has *no* truth value, + then you're off to the races + it's anyones game
point of order: i don't like that
testimony: your degrees don't go away when you die, right? i still got a jurisceration doctorate
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening: httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/4VJHw4VLJTx4IC0xFQz7Gh?si=sLtxBEBoRnq56A2D7kILMw π€
motion to publish to the jury: never meant to last, never meant to last / + i have been drunk now for over two weeks / i passed out + i rallied + i sprung a few leaks / but i got to stop wishin', got to go fishin' / down to rock bottom again / (just a few friends, just a few friends.....) #lyricsposting #TWJimmieBufett?
testimony: this site is host to the most fascinating neuroses
point of order: if it helps i still think its an improvement over the old look
direct examination: are we still friends
response on those grounds: i dont like mustaches. you keep it up though ππββοΈπ€
testimony: everyone else is liking + commenting on the nonbinary beach dualscar selfie because they're horny. i could give less of a fuck i am here for the nonbinary beach lifestyle/unlifestyle forever. in this i wholeheartedly support even kinda ugly people, like him
publishing to the jury: httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/846000ce7432.jpg
direct examination expert testimony: it's all in the moan π€
testimony: man my quirk used to be so convoluted. "reading onto the record" is basically just testifying, why would you imply the whole exhibit dance + make a motion to enter it into evidence when you can just say you're directly publishing to the jury, + why on alterniaaaa would you use the phrase "sidebar outside earshot of the jury" to clarify you're being off the record. #unemployedtip: fuckin chillax
OBJECTION! CAN YOU STOPPP
reading onto the record: i can also write troll twilight fanfiction here it goes. "jakobi..." nonbinary izabel yelled loudly "what is it bitch" nonbinary jakobi said (it calls izabel bitch because he's like a wolfbeast + stuff + they're mates...prits) "do you know what is happening with the sky..." "no-o-awoo" he said sadly. because it had jack shit to do with the m-awoons it was really not his area of expertise. "i know fuck-all." "neither does anyone else..." izabel said + then everything went weird + also both of them died (sexily) like how everyone dies eventually except apparently eventually is right now + suddenly everyone is dead they're all dead they're all dead they're all dead #teamjakobi #facts #philosophytip
}(]]]]]) < let's all hear five biΗ¦ booms for this fool > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #Η¦uzmoΗ¦Η¦ed > ([[[[[){ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/1b08ab7bbcaa.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/09febc8f8f90.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/a17262a5c358.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/5b169c884009.jβ½eΗ¦ httβ½s://cdn.imΗ¦chest.com/files/fb32cd10ea64.jβ½eΗ¦
THIS IS BULLSHIT.
RESPOND TO MY FUCKING TEXTS PROPERLY!!!
publishing to the jury: okay so im going to delete my chittr actually . bye everyone httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/513d17cafe38.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/beeb4a43739e.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/d1884c93e511.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/29a31b8a60af.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/a1db435ed540.jpg httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/fd7131f0c3dc.jpg
testimony: my official yelping-in-pain review of the dream bubbles quasi-infinite lazy river: 3.5 stars; the next best thing to comfortable malaise
publishing to the jury: #nowlistening httpsα΄ΉB//open.spotify.com/track/4VJHw4VLJTx4IC0xFQz7Gh?si=mm850nymR6-ww2h8MKIUZA
testimony: i, too, would fuck those trees
publishing to the jury: i've been taking for granted that they sway pleasantly even when there's no breeze to speak of httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/88541ce12977.jpg
Just watβ¬hed "Wherein a β¬onβ¬upisβ¬ently Repressed Legislaβ¬erator Hires a Reβ¬ently Institutionalised Lowblood Assistant; She β¬onduβ¬ts Several Instanβ¬es of Self-Mutilation; He Loses Foβ¬us and Begins a β¬onsensual Workplaβ¬e Relationship; They Bond Over Appropriate β¬orporal Punishment for an Inadequate Employee, in β¬onjunβ¬tion with Budding Flushed Feelings; One Instanβ¬e of Bondage Similar to the Signless' Restraints; One Instanβ¬e of Hoofbeastplay; β¬ontinued Instanβ¬es of Impaβ¬t Play Surrounding Sitbulbs; Four Instanβ¬es of Self-Pailing, One Being Onto Another Troll; an Ex-Matesprit is Introduβ¬ed and Promptly Fridged, Sinβ¬e the Lowblood Has Outgrown His Lukewarm β¬oupling; She is Fired Beβ¬ause of The Legislaβ¬erator's Fear of His Feelings; Ending With a Laβ¬k of a Wedding, Prolonged Waiting, One Instanβ¬e of Involuntary Waste Disposal, and a Final Red β¬oupling on an Indoor Lawn Ring." on my Head of TR's reβ¬ommendation. It was satisfaβ¬tory. #nsfw
i think i might be the first cis 60s guy in the wvorld
direct examination: yeh π
testimony: i think i might be the first nonbinary person to understand not being nonbinary. testimony: im sitting on a beach chair in a spottedmeowbeast print hawaiian shirt, margaritaville by jimmie bufett is playing, n there's an adorable flamingo on my chest
testimony: everybody's always pitying my chits even though i am literally chilling. you could never understand α΄ΉB)
testimony: pros n cons of getting out of the lazy river... hm nope nothing's coming up
testimony: lowkey i am taking applications for a new best friend π
direct examination testimony: throw a glass at your head π
testimony: π
testimony: yooo what's up α΄ΉB)
objection: i pay 1 life n exile a blue card from my hand to cast force of will n counter your counterspell. let's see where vinnik is going with this
testimony: one problem with my quirk is that i don't really get to designate anything as a redirect or a recross even though thats definitely the most fun way to talk to a witness. n then i could be like "haha i just asked a question that was out of scope of the inciting direct/cross but no one's going to call me out on it because this is meaningless" n its like im getting away with something
direct examination: had to think about it huh? @chillerAficionado httpsα΄ΉB//cdn.imgchest.com/files/905eb1a0b43e.png
Least favorite thing a ghost has ever said to me has got to be the time one told me that at my age | I was almost as dead as he was | Canβt stand being a rust sometimes β§βΛπ§Ή
point of order: nice to meet you too
testimony: you have fun with that then LOL
testimony: 15% is rookie numbers π§πΉπβπ©
testimony: in the abstract it's kind of interesting to see which of my friends like me more as a chill corpse who lowkey DGAF n which of my friends like me more as a high-strung egomaniac obsessed with games for wrigglers. n in the less-abstract, close-up n tangible sense, it is very very funny
re: all that: admittedly kind of awesome
direct examination: why not just stay dead? it's easy breezy π
testimony: there's "more than one" of plenty of people. why not that freak
testimony: i hope you have fun
point of order: i'm given to understand that this is how some of my dream bubble neighbors choose to spend their retirement, but i figure it'll get boring eventually. everything does
testimony: LOL if you were the ghost you wouldn't have to do laundry
re: real: only as real as anything else is ππββοΈπ€πΉπ§πβπ©π¦©π α΄ΉB)
point of order: all doves are dead doves eventually. no reason not to look at em they got neat feathers
direct examination testimony: πͺ·
testimony: like star trek...
testimony: don't we all, kid, don't we all...
point of order: no one is "supposed" to make it
testimony: dead troll surfing ππββοΈ
objection: all experiences are wasted experiences π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π―πββοΈπΉπ§π π¦©ππ€
re: blade of grass: that's what i've been sayingggg
testimony: keep it sleazy guys α΄ΉB)
uh huh, uh huh... say babe its been a vwhile, wvhat do say i pull out the one troll trampoline and wve go #bouncingonit a bit?~
vwovw babe haha, howv high do you evwen need to be to come up wvith this stuff?
testimony: probably the best thing about this corner of the dream bubbles is that jimmie bufett music is playing always forever. like yeah we *are* wasting away in margaritaville man you get it π€
testimony: i would just drop my palmhusk into the lazy river styx over here but the damn thing will probably just reappear. the dream bubbles are just so *helpful* with providing you all *sorts* of luxuries
testimony: cheers i'll drink to that π»
response on those grounds: me too that's why i picked it
direct examination: anyone here read margox's got caegar troubles? a copy of it manifested here n i might poke through it
LikΒ£, LMAO??
MY TRAuMA HAS LEVELED THE FuCK uP. AND LIKE NANOMACHINES. I HARDEN IN RESPONSE TO IT. uNTIL IMPERVIOuS ENTIRELY. MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY MAKES INEVITABLE A TRAGIC FuTuRE FOR OTHERS. SuCH IS THE LAW OF CAuSALITY. SuCH IS THE NATuRE OF MY EMINENCE.