꧁Chittr, ithinkiwanttobe a girl i have wanted that for a while. i like...she and her...and i like being called pretty. i like imagining myself as someone's dainty friend. sometimes. i look at woman. and i think i want to be like that. and then i think about )(er. The Empress is a woman. Not just... A Woman. She is what womanhood looks like in my pan. She is beautiful. She is enormous. She is important and perfect. SheseverythingIamNot. So, when I think "I WANT TO BE A WOMAN" there is another part of me that immediately thinks that's ridiculous. Like I am putting on a crown of paper and pretending it is hers. pretendingthaticouldbe like her. I know that logically there are Billions of Women. I know that being a woman does not mean claiming to be comparable to the Empress. But it feels like it does. Girl feels... Smaller. Safer. Something I am allowed to want. Woman feels like a title I could never deserve. hhhf. I don't know if that is dysphoria. Or maybe. My IMperial Conditioning. Or both. Probably both. I still want to be a girl though. I think I can. I have called myself #nothing for a while now. Maybe Nonbinary. Or. Maybe. I've just said I didn't have a gender at all. They/Them. It. That. It doesn't make me feel like a man. It didn't make me a woman without )(er permission. It let me be vesica without deciding what Vesica is... Exactly. Sometimes being neither feels correct. Like, being they feels comfortable in a way She does not. It's familiar Sometimes I use nothing for my gender. Like. I use #nothing for everything else. If i'm not a man, or a woman, then i can't fail at either. If I am nothing then I can't compare myself to anyone. Especially not Her. If ia m they then i don't hav eto amdithowbadly i want She. Hhhh. Maybe. Idon'tknow. I think I'm too complicated. I should just. Be nothing. THoughts? #cw-gender-dysphoria #mental-health꧂
꧁donttlakabout thrusting and birth in my posts!!!! #nsfw #cantunderstandtherestofthat꧂
꧁and releasing. and fingering. and taking care of me. and grasping. and...꧂
-_-
꧁YOUBROUGHTIT UP꧂
Words have meaning within the context they are nested within, Vesica.
꧁butyoustarted off with complicated words.... i had to skim it!꧂
C=~ She is a preddy ggirl! You are! C=~
~Ain't really my circular-simple-machine-hive babe, but I kn~Ow a lil bit. All this emO~tiO~nal talk sO~unds pretty girly tO~ me ~O3O~. N~Ow sure, I c~Ould gO~ all "be whatever y~Ou want f~Orever" O~r "if yO~u want, y~Ou can give it a sh~Ot," but that's just cO~pping ~Out, thrO~wing the questiO~n back at y~Ou. S~O yeah, g~Oing O~ff the evidence y~Ou've handed me, tallying everything up... yep, says here yO~u're a girl. YO~u're living it, science c~Onfirms it. C~Ongrats babe!~
Updating contact card. Now it has a bow on it.
꧁Hhhawesome.....꧂