KARKAT VANTAS
@cathexisGyromancer
BLOOD EMPEROR KARKAT VANTAS OF THE PLANET DIVIDEND. WE PLAYED THE GAME AND WON. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY?
READING ONTO THE RECORD! all my haters become negotiators when they face my hostage situation of success #business #law
GOD, I WISH WE HAD MORE WEIRD FUCKS LIKE YOU ON DIVIDEND.
SIDEBAR! are you a peacehammer 40k character?
HELL FUCKING NO. HIT UP SOLLUX IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT GAMES FOR GIRLS.
POINT OF ORDER! games for nonbinaries.
READING ONTO THE RECORD! incidentally my retainer fees are very reasonable
MY IMPLICATION WAS THAT YOU WERE PLAYING SOMETHING NOT FOR YOU. DO YOU THINK I DON'T READ BIOS FOR PRONOUNS? I'M A DICTATOR, NOT A MONSTER.
IF I CAN EVER GET AROUND TO 'TRANS-TIMELINE SCHMOVEMENT' [SIC] ON MY REQUESTS LIST, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! okay that's fair i don't really fuck with 40k DIRECT EXAMINATION! do you play any trading card games
I PLAY SOLITAIRE SOMETIMES AND POKER WITH VRISKA, WHICH IS A STUPID FUCKING DECISION I KEEP MAKING BECAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY THE LIGHT EMPRESS. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THERE? CHEAT? YES. THE ANSWER IS YES. WHICH IS WHY I KEEP WINNING.
Looking to be caseless, today. A bit more free time for myself.
EAT.
What are you, the sustenance fairy?
MORE LIKE YOUR FUCK-O-CLOCK REMINDER TO ACTUALLY DIGEST SOMETHING INSTEAD OF RELYING ON YOUR SALIVA TO MAGICALLY PRODUCE SUSTENANCE.
I'm digesting something right now, alright.
...HM. THERE'S AN OMINOUS UNDERTONE TO THIS THAT'S SETTING MY HACKLES THE FUCK UP.
)(ave we ever conc)(sidered t)(at bugs is s)(rimp?
I'LL GET OUR BEST SCIENTISTS ON IT.
ALL THIS LUXURY AND GRUB BALUT IS STILL THE BEST SHIT I'VE EVER EATEN. ANYONE WHO THINKS DIFFERENTLY IS AN ASS-OUT MORON.
You have someone that represents each aspect and you neglect your sleep? Are the others entirely useless?
DO YOU THINK WE WOULDN'T CLAIM OUR PRIZE? A ROUGHLY SIX HUNDRED HOUR CAMPAIGN TO RESURRECT OUR SPECIES AND RESTORE IT TO GLORY AND WE'RE *NOT* GOING TO RULE IT? MAYBE *YOU* WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, BUT WE'RE TROLLS, 'Z'. CONQUERING IS IN OUR FUCKING BLOOD, AND AS THE BLOOD GUY, I KIND OF HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY TO SAY THAT.
You are going to run yourselves and your people into the ground because of your greed, "Karkat"
THE CONDESCE MANAGED TO SUSTAIN OUR SOCIETY UNTIL IT WAS TAKEN OUT BY COSMIC EVENTS OUT OF HER CONTROL. SHE WAS IN CHARGE FOR BILLIONS OF SWEEPS. I THINK WE'RE GOOD FOR THE MOMENT.
FINALLY IN THAT BATH I'VE BEEN WANTING. I TOLD MY GUARD TO FIELD MY CALLS FOR A FEW HOURS WHILE I TAKE THIS IN. FOR ALL THE BITCH WHINING AND GRIPING I DO: SOMETIMES IT'S FUCKING GOOD TO BE AN EMPEROR.
gosh that sounds so cozy right now... you must be so relaxed!
ABOUT AS RELAXED AS I CAN BE. IF NOTHING ELSE THIS BATHROOM DOESN'T HAVE ANY WINDOWS SO IT'S VERY UNLIKELY THERE'LL BE SOME KIND OF SHITTY ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT WHILE I'M IN HERE.
even better!! windows are scary in bathrooms, anyway.
MAYBE IF YOU EVER WATCHED ACTUAL FUCKING CINEMA LIKE SMASH ALTERNIAN HIT "THE ONE IN WHICH AMANDA SEYFIEND PLAYS THE ROLE OF A MIDBLOOD ABOUT TO ENGAGE WITH THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF YOUNG FLUSHED ROMANCE IN A MUSICAL FOR THE AGES BUT FINDS HERSELF WONDERING ON WHETHER OR NOT SHES MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE. SO BEFORE SHE COMMITS TO THE RELATIONSHIP SHE TRIES TO FIND INFORMATION ON HER ANCESTOR AND FIGURES OUT IT CAN BE ONE OF THREE PEOPLE AND INVITES THE OTHER DESCENDANTS OF THOSE TROLLS TO TRY AND SEE WHICH ONE IS MOST LIKE HER WITHOUT REVEALING WHY THE FUCK THEYRE THERE BECAUSE SHE'S A LITTLE CRACKED IN THE THINK PAN AND EVENTUALLY HER LYING AND TRIPLE SWITCHEROO COLLUDING RESULTS IN EIGHT DEATHS AND TWELVE ABBARATION MUSICAL NUMBERS AND ALSO MERYYL SCREECH IS THERE" YOU'D UNDERSTAND WHAT REAL JOY AND MEDIA ANALYSIS FEELS LIKE.
finally a decent opinion on media literacy and movvie choice the people here are starvved and pan dead wwithout guidance like this spoon fed to them i dont knoww wwhich kar you are but i approvve
I'M THE ONE WHO WON, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER. WHAT DID I WIN? BOTH THE GAME AND THE ENDLESS WAR AGAINST PEONS WHO REFUSE TO WATCH ACTUAL FUCKING MOVIES.
wwhere havve you been all my life do you wwanna hang out i mean hey that is cool bro did evveryone wwin or just you showw those fuckin peons wwhat they deservve am i right
I'M REALLY NOT SURE HOW WE'D DO THAT. BUT YES, EVERYONE WON. WE ALL REACHED GOD TIER AND GENERALLY KICKED SGRUB'S PATHETIC, WAILING WRIGGLER ASS. WE CLAIMED OUR PRIZE. AS FOR THE PEONS, I CARE LITTLE FOR THEM SO LONG AS THEY STAY THE FUCK IN LINE. ITS NOT LIKE THEY'RE FULLY FORMED PEOPLE LIKE WE ARE ANYWAY. THEY PROVED THAT.
holy shit you talk like the perfect leader i alwways kneww you could be kar but hold on wwhat you are sayin is you havve your owwn eridan you knoww if he evver slips up and pisses you off and you need a neww bro i am avvailable i am sure wwe could find a wway EXACTLY yes kar oh my god wwe havve the same pan trust me on this
THE HOPE EMPEROR AND I HAVE A PROFESSIONAL WORKING RELATIONSHIP. WE'RE FRIENDS AS MUCH AS I AM WITH ANY OF THE OTHERS. AND YEAH, WE SEEM TO BE PRETTY ALIGNED ON THE IMPORTANT SHIT. I'D BE HAPPY TO CONTINUE CORRESPONDENCE.
the hope emperor are you fuckin glubbin me right noww kar yes hell yes wwe wwill continue much correspondence exchange noble vvalues and ideas of leadership i wwant to knoww all about your planet