♣ mediated by @cazzoAmore
probably make it grapple your bulge clean off if i don't do it with my mouth first ^_^ #nsfw
#characterGr9wth
𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙴: 𝙴𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏-𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜. Ψ 𝙶𝙻𝙾𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙰𝙽 𝙴𝙼𝙿𝙸𝚁𝙴. Ψ
Hm. I'll call you Slick. Like the trail a snail leaves behind, but in your head you can pretend it's for a cool reason. Only offer.
There is something, admittedly, interesting a8out the earnestness of this piece. You are definitely attempting to channel your aggressively performative 8ravado, and the cadence does resem8le half-rhyming, somewhat self-satisfying slam poetry someone like you would a8solutely love to inflict upon an unwilling audience. That said, I think the 8iggest weakness here is the fact that you are relying on 8ase imagery and su8standard "humor" as it were. Ever stanza is arriving at the same punchline, and so, your poem is losing its momentum rather quickly. The eroticism and comedic vulgarity 8enefit from contrast, 8ut it reads like a string of disconnected sexual remarks regarding my own person. You have a tendency to prioritize the shock value over actual prose, as well. The "sway of her hips" seems to 8e a good starting point. You almost invoked imagery there. Naturally, I would also recommend less filler phrasing. 8uild a stronger closing line, too. Have you considered giving your jokes space to 8reathe 8efore just stacking them one after another? Like, the game of Tetris. This is not unsalvagea8le.
I think my reading that message actually made me physically ill.
Cro+nus, I mean this as plato+nically vio+lent as po+ssible. Fuck o+ff, entirely, I ho+pe yo+ur hair falls o+ut, and if yo+u reply O+NE MO+RE TIME, I will perso+nally make sure that I send Ho+russ the alchemizer co+de fo+r the Thro+ngler, and I'll have him use it o+n yo+u with whatever 'extra additio+ns' he might see fit to+ add o+nto+ it. #implied-vio+lence #Thro+ngler #implied-nsfw
I do+n't have to+ actually give yo+u the benefit o+f anything. And saying "bo+ys will be bo+ys" when yo+u're actually realizing that yo+u've pissed so+meo+ne o+ff isn't 'cute'. If anything, it's even mo+re infuriating. No+w, do+ everyo+ne a favo+r, and sto+p talking to+ me. I'm no+t in a go+o+d mo+o+d, and talking to+ yo+u just makes things wo+rse. If yo+u talk to+ me again o+n this po+st, I'll find wherever yo+u are, and I'll intro+duce yo+u to+ my po+learm-kind weapo+n o+f cho+ice, The Thro+ngler™️ #nsfw-implied #vio+lence-implied #thro+ngler
im good buddy... you can keep that to yourself.
YOU KNOW, out of respect for my dear B-EST-EST FRI-END ever and because I read t)(e ot)(er Cronus' work earlier, I decided I s)(ould give t)(is one a c)(ance too. It's... V-ERY CR-EATIV-E! Good job! 38)
apparently i have tw0 speed up #thickerthursday despite my schedule
DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO EATING RIBS WITH THE LIBS. OR. HAVING COMPLETED YOUR TRAINING MONTAGE IN THE GUTTER. WOULD YOU RATHER CRACK LOBSTERS WITH THE MOBSTERS. #CHOOSEWISELY #HANDMAIDTAXISERVICEONLYGOESONEWAY