The Worst Karkat
@contagionsGenesis
AMATEUR SCRIPT EDITOR, PROFESSIONAL FUCK UP. A PAINFULLY EMBARRASSING MEMOIR TO THE DEPTHS OF SHEER MEDIOCRITY IN TROLL FORM. HE/HIM //pfp @goosey-hnz
everybody on this site is like the same 14 guys @
IT'S A REAL FUCKING EPIDEMIC. SOMEONE REALLY OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Cola Bottles are the best fruit gummy candy.
THIS IS THE WORST THING ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF CHITTR HAS EVER SAID.
I do not believwwwwve this evwwwwven breaks the top twwwventy, especially wwvhen considering my alternates
TRUST ME. AS THE RESIDENT AUTHORITY ON ALL THINGS SHIT, I CAN PROCLAIM, WITHOUT A SINGLE DOUBT IN MY BLOODPUMPER, THAT THIS IS THE WORST OF THE WORST.
Many of my vwwwwvariants are not pure of heart and soul. I am much the same. Do not be fooled by ritualistic vwwwvanacular. You havwwwwve been wwwwvarned.
YEAH, I DON'T THINK ANYONE EXPECTED YOU TO BE SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR ALTERNATES. BUT CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING SO UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR AWFULNESS, I GUESS.
If that is the part I play, I might as wwwvell play it wwwwvith a smile than a frowwvn
AWESOME. HEY, QUICK QUESTION. YOU GOT ANYMORE PITHY PLATITUDES FROM R/IM7ANDTHISISDEEP OR DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT ONE ALL BY YOURSELF?
UPDATE ON MY HORRIBLE HEADACHE SITUATION FROM LAST NIGHT, FOR ANYONE WHO CARES, WHICH I SUSPECT IS NONE OF YOU. IT HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER. ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S GOTTEN WORSE. IT FEELS LIKE MY THINKPAN IS FINALLY MUTINYING AGAINST MY SKULL AND TRYING TO TAKE THE REST OF MY BODY DOWN WITH IT. URGH.
Oh I'm sorry to hear that
NORMALLY I'D SAY SOMETHING CAUSTIC LIKE TELLING YOU TO STUFF THAT SORRY BACK DOWN YOUR WINDTUNNEL AND SAVE YOUR PITY FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY DESERVES IT, BUT FRANKLY, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. SO. INSTEAD I'LL JUST SAY THANKS.
Thank you, I am not having the best day either, so probably for the best
i hope to be mean. but also kind.
OF ALL THE REACTIONS I EXPECTED TO GET ON THAT POST, A *MEDIATE* WASN'T ONE OF THEM. WHO THE FUCK MEDIATES SOMEONE WAILING ABOUT A HEADACHE.
OH, SHIT, REALLY? IS *THAT* WHAT THAT MEANS? THANK HOLY FUCK THAT YOU WERE HERE TO TELL ME THAT SOMEONE MEDIATING MY POST MEANS THEY THINK MY POST REQUIRES MEDIATING. THIS NEWFOUND REVOLUTIONARY PIECE OF INFORMATION IS REALLY CHANGING MY ENTIRE WORLDVIEW. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOUR SUPREME INTELLECT. THANKS, JACKASS.
If I could have any wish I would make everyone have transparent skin that hurts all the time.
what the hell does one even do on a saturday night in alternia?
GET DRUNK ENOUGH TO FORGET HOW PITIFUL YOUR LIFE IS. #SUBSTANCE
SIGH. ONCE AGAIN, IT'S THE TIME OF LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING WHEN I LAMENT THE FACT THAT THE ONLY EVEN SEMI-OFFICIAL QUADRANT I'VE EVER HAD WAS MY CLUB WADDLEFOWL MATESPRIT. PUFFLELUVR69 IF YOU'RE STILL OUT THERE...
wow.
WHAT. CAN A MAN NOT AGONIZE OVER HIS NONEXISTENT LOVE LIFE IN PEACE?
I AM ***THIS*** CLOSE TO CRACKING MY NUGBONE OPEN AND CHUCKING MY THINKPAN AT THE NEAREST WALL. URGH. AS LOATHE AS I AM TO ALREADY BE REDUCED TO ASKING FOR ADVICE WITHIN 60 MINUTES OF MY CHITTR DEBUT, I'M AFRAID SOME THINGS JUST CAN'T BE HELPED. DOES ANYONE KNOW THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A PERSISTENT HEADACHE THAT *DOESN'T* INVOLVE OVERDOSING ON NSAIDS? OR AM I DOOMED TO SUFFER FOR THE REST OF MY MISERABLE LIFE? #SUBSTANCE
8=l < I know a way that isn't helpfoal to you
GEE, THANKS! FUCK ACTIONABLE ADVICE. WHAT I WAS *REALLY* HOPING FOR WAS SOMEONE TO CHIME IN WITH SOMETHING COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO ME. WHAT IS IT.
8=l < I can heal you with my hands using magic
8=l < I'm a god 8=l < Healing is one of my abilities
8=l < I don't e%pect everyone to immediately believe that 8=l < Doesn't stop it from being true, hoofever
am i stupid?
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, THE ANSWER IS ALMOST ASSUREDLY YES.