♠ hated by @deadlyMadness
STRANGE WE KEEP MEETING IN THIS WAY.
HAPPY #APRILFOOLS. I BRING YOU MY FAVORITE JOKE FOR THE OCCASION. THERE ONCE WAS A BUSINESSMAN OF REASONABLE SUCCESS. THOUGH HE LIKED THE WORK HE DID, THE MONOTONY WAS STARTING TO WEAR HIM DOWN. LUCKILY FOR HIM, HE HAD A LOT OF VACATION TIME HE WAS ABLE TO USE, SO FOR A CHANGE A SCENERY, HE DECIDED TO HIKE ACROSS EUROPE. FOR MOST OF HIS TRIP, THE WEATHER WAS PLEASANT, NOT AS WARM AS THE HOME HE WAS USED TO, BUT THAT WAS THE PERFECT THING FOR OUTDOOR ACTIVITY. HOWEVER, THE WEATHER TURNED OUT TO BE MORE FICKLE THAN HE ANTICIPATED, AND HE GOT CAUGHT IN A RAINSTORM WHILE HIKING IN THE WOODS. HIKING BACK THE WAY HE CAME WOULD BE A LONGER AND MORE DANGEROUS PATH THAN PRESSING FORWARD, SO PRESS FORWARD HE DID. AS FORTUNE WOULD HAVE IT, HE CAME ACROSS A MONASTERY THAT WELCOMED HIM IN KINDLY. THE MONKS THERE DRIED AND FED HIM AND ALLOWED HIM TO STAY IN ONE OF THEIR ROOMS OVERNIGHT SINCE THE RAIN WOULD NOT LET UP UNTIL NIGHTFALL. AS HE WAS GETTING COMFORTABLE IN HIS TEMPORARY LODGINGS, HE HEARD A CURIOUS NOISE FROM THE HALLWAY. THE MAN PEEKED HIS HEAD OUT, BUT DIDN'T SEE ANYONE ELSE AROUND. HE WAS ABOUT TO WRITE IT OFF, WHEN HE HEARD THE NOISE AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE FOLLOWED THE SOUND TO A HIGHLY CONSPICUOUS LOCKED DOOR-- TEN FEET TALL, SOLID WOOD, THE KIND THAT WOULD TAKE MULTIPLE MEN TO OPEN. NOW, THE MAN DIDN'T WANT TO PESTER THE MONKS WHO HAD SHOWN HIM SUCH HOSPITATILY, SO HE DECIDED TO RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT AND DO HIS BEST TO IGNORE THE NOISE. IT WASN'T A VERY RESTFUL SLUMBER, BUT EVENTUALLY, MORNING CAME. OVER BREAKFAST, THE MAN THANKED THE MONKS PROFUSELY FOR THEIR GENEROSITY, BUT BEFORE HE COULD LEAVE, HE JUST NEEDED TO ASK WHAT WAS BEHIND THAT MASSIVE WOODEN DOOR AT THE END OF THE HALLWAY. THE MONKS SMILED AND SHOOK THEIR HEADS. THEY UNDERSTOOD HIS CURIOSITY, BUT THEY COULD NOT TELL HIM BECAUSE HE WAS NOT A MONK. THE MAN WANTED TO PRESS FURTHER, BUT IN THE END HE ACCEPTED THEIR REFUSAL AND LEFT QUIETLY. WHEN THE MAN RETURNED HOME FROM HIS VACATION, THE NOISE HE HEARD IN THAT MONASTERY PLAYED IN HIS DREAMS EVERY NIGHT. THE THOUGHTS OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN BEHIND THAT DOOR KEEP HIM DISTRACTED, EVEN AT WORK, UNTIL HIS COMPANY TAKES NOTICE AND TELLS HIM TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF TO FIGURE HIS PERSONAL AFFAIRS OUT, OR ELSE. TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY, THE MAN HURRIEDLY PACKS AS SMALL OF A BAG AS HE CAN AND TAKES THE SOONEST FLIGHT AVAILABLE BACK TO THAT COUNTRY WHERE HE'D FOUND THE MONASTERY. THE MONKS SEEMED ENTIRELY UNSURPRISED TO SEE HIM AGAIN. WHEN HE EXPLAINED HIS DREAMS, AND HIS JOB, AND HIS SPIRALING MENTAL STATE, THEY SEEMED SYMPATHETIC, BUT THEY STILL WOULD NOT TELL HIM WHAT WAS BEHIND THAT DOOR. WELL, IF HE HAD TO BE A MONK TO KNOW THE SECRET, THEN THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD DO. THE MAN SWORE TO CUT TIES WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD AND DEVOTE HIMSELF TO THE WORK OF THE MONASTERY. THE MONKS ACCEPTED HIM, AND HE BEGAN HIS NEW LIFE OF DEVOTION. HE SPENT HIS FIRST FEW MONTHS DOING MENIAL CHORES AND THE NEXT FEW MONTHS LEARNING THEIR SCRIPTURES, BUT AFTER A YEAR, HE'S FINALLY DEEMED READY TO SEE BEHIND THAT DOOR WHICH HAS PLAGUED HIS MIND ALL THIS TIME. THE ELDEST MONK IN THE MONASTERY HANDS HIM A RING OF MANY ODD LOOKING KEYS, POINTS TO THE OLDEST AND RUSTIEST OF THEM, AND TELLS HIM THAT IS THE FIRST ONE HE WILL NEED. CONFUSED AS TO HOW HE'S MEANT TO GET THAT ENORMOUS DOOR OPEN ALONE AND WHAT HE COULD POSSIBLY NEED SO MANY KEYS FOR, THE MAN NONETHELESS RUSHES DOWN THE HALL TO THE DOOR. THE OLD RUSTY KEY FITS PERFECTLY INTO THE LOCK, TURNS EFFORTLESSLY, AND THE GRAND OLD DOOR SWINGS OPEN AS THOUGH IT WEIGHS NOTHING. HOWEVER, INSTEAD OF FINDING THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE, HE'S FACED WITH ANOTHER DOOR. THIS ONE IS SMALLER THAN THE FIRST AND PAINTED BLUE WITH A SHINY GOLD KNOB. THE MAN LOOKS THROUGH THE KEYRING, FINDS A GOLD KEY IN THE RIGHT SIZE, AND OPENS THE SECOND DOOR. THIS HAPPENS MANY MORE TIMES. HE OPENS A DOOR MADE OF SMOOTH BLACK STONE, A DOOR SO SMALL HE HAS TO CRAWL THROUGH IT, AND A GLIMMERING GOLDEN DOOR LADEN WITH JEWELS, AMONG OTHERS. BUT THE MAN'S PERSISTENCE PAYS OFF. WHEN THERE'S ONLY ONE LAST KEY ON THE RING THAT REMAINS UNUSED, AND THAT MYSTERIOUS NOISE FILLS THE LAST CHAMBER AS CLEARLY AS HE'S EVER HEARD IT, HE HOLDS HIS BREATH, BRACES HIMSELF, AND OPENS THAT DOOR.
you don't. it's the only joke she's got, let her have it.
i lost the g g game
Already did that. And I promised I wouldn’t do it again so.
i had to google mewving. okay so im just hot, naturally.
your hate and pity can unsee the post. i hope your day is ruined.
>be me >need to get pregnant >fast