Diamonds Droog
@debonairDevil
Consigliere of the Midnight Crew. Proud father. AKA Draconian dignitary ((Canon agacent DD. AU friendly)) ((Occasionally NSFW 🔞 DNI))
The feds thought I hid my recipe box in the walls because it was a coded logbook. The truth was I'd be damned before anyone gained access to my culinary secrets.
I miss running all the front businesses. Midnight City had never seen such fine dining and well run laundromats.
I know how computers work. I am many years old. If you block me you'd miss out on the sage wisdom of a much more experienced career criminal.
Oh, please. Y8u don't even know how many trolls' lives I've got under my 8elt, how many 8oon8ucks I still have just lying ar8und 8ecause they're just too much to plausi8ly spend. I've got a lot of irons in the fire, okay?
Theft is but one piece in the puzzle that is organized crime. It's good that you excel in larceny. Murder is the easiest crime to commit but it's the hardest crime to do right. You sound more like a warlord than any type of professional criminal.
Well why WOULD I 8e a lousy criminal when I could 8e a warlord? Sounds like it's you who's got their priorities aimed a little too low. When you're o8ligated to kill to survive AND level up in life it's not just little 8a8y games anymore. Murder isn't easy when they always see it coming. It just makes it more fun to lead them to their own demise in spite of that.
I am at peace with my place in life. You sound like you might be chasing a goal that keeps getting further away. Maybe we should talk more about your achievements. What are you most proud of?
Literally saving the lives of the trolls and weird aliens that actually matter? And now leading them toward the Ultim8 Goal that will seed all new life and destroy the Ultim8 Demon? How 8out you consider that and stick it in your 8olognese?
So it's not the money and killing then? Were you just trying to prove that you're better than me at my own game?
Money and killing are so pedestrian. Easy street. I've 8een doing that all my life. Literally, I NEEDED those 8odies, okay? And if it comes with money, who in their right mind would turn up their sniffnode at it? The loot from wrecked ships, the multicolored 8lood on your hands... Sure, it's gr8 and all, 8ut some people have to move on to a higher purpose than that.
I see. What would you say was the hardest part of leading this group of "everyone who matters" ?
Trying to keep their minds off ridic8lous things like... what is it, "Can City"? W8 I'm getting up to go ask them. Jesus what is their o8session with this carap8cian. Pardon me, their o9session with the Mayor of Can Town. Th8t is the most difficult aspect I w8uld say at this p8int. Keeping the illicit su8stances away was pretty easy, and once I caught the clown it was definitely a lot quieter.
If you ever need anything. Or need anyone taken care of. You come to me. Personally.
@blackestQuasar Need a light?
Insist? No. It's just the polite thing to do to offer a light to a lady. No matter who she might be.
((I'm such a fake fan i forgot about the existence of DD canonically* owning a rifle called "girl's best friend" and it's a Kalashnikov too. Like i know hussie just threw that out there at random but this just further supports my random HC that human Droog would be vaguely Soviet coded))
@peregrineMendicant#0414 Not sure if I trust such a straight edge lookie loo like yourself snooping around.
Oh don't worry. I don't get up to much snooping and I have little sway in the criminal justice department. Just respect my department and keep the mail crimes to a minimum and we'll get on acceptably.
Dirt is for gardening.
