Gary
@garyGerson
I thought this was slack 🤣🤣🤣 Husband to my beautiful wife and father to my two lovely children.
If anything bad ever happens to Gary I will be so fucking mad
I meant like cosmic levels of bad, not like you stub your toe or something
Oh well, I don't know if anything like that is in store for me! -Gary
It better not be, man. Are you going to the mixer next week?
Oh, it was a company-wide email. They're renting out the local pub for a night to "improve team cohesion".
Oh I'm so sorry I didn't realize we were coworkers! What department do you work in? Also, I don't know if I'll be going. Never was a fan of those kind of events. -Gary
Oh, I just temp for HR sometimes. They got me on a 6 week this time.
I see, how're they treating you? While we're off of official communications I don't exactly care for Glen. -Gary
Not too bad. They keep forgetting to assign me tasks, or "forgetting", so I've gone to get Glen coffee like 12 times this week. He's kind of annoying, admittedly, but I think it's because he's allergic to Fred's cologne and won't say anything or take a Claritin about it. Suzy's nice though, if you can get two words outta her.
Oh yeah Suzy's swell, keeps to herself mostly so we don't talk much but she's nice. Had no idea Glen was Allergic to Fred's cologne (admittedly a little overpowering for even me). Now I feel like a bit of an ass. Just goes to show we can always stand to be kinder though! -Gary
I'm also hungry as a fuck lately.
Be sure to eat well! Have you taken your lunch break yet? -Gary
I just had lunch but the thing is I'm not usually this hungry this early in the day, so it's like. Insane. -Casper
Maybe try and grab a little something extra to snack on then? Happens to me all the time when we're busy. -Gary
The more I think about it, the more I kinda want to try being a hat guy. Do we think I could pull it off? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/46137a974824.png -Gary
Definitely, Gary.
Gary, yes. -Casper
Haha thanks for the vote of confidence! Maybe Old Gary goes and sees the haberdasher after work today! -Gary
Okay okay you all are really "gassing up" Old Gary here! Yesh! I'll try it out! -Gary
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Greetings everyone. Hope you’re all well.」
I don't know what "fight night" is but I hope everyone stays safe! -Gary
Fuuuck no w3 aboutta b3at th3 tar out of 3achoth3r
Oh well I figured that. Nothing wrong with a little rabble rousing (Old Gary's actually a bit of a pugilist himself) but just make sure no one gets like permanently hurt. -Gary
Word W3 got m3dic2 that 2how up 2om3tim32. Folk'll b3 fin3 probably
A little late for lunch (had to really focus on some numbers that got sent my way) but hey it's here nonetheless! Old Gary got a chicken caesar salad today! Yummers! -Gary
Oh a splendid choice! Coincidentally, I had a chicken caesar wrap today. Very refreshing and filling!
Why'd a blank profile just follow me? Must be a glitch. -Gary
c< NaH, tHats iNteNtiONal, dude is just.... liKe tHat >c
c< yeaH! Hes very MysteriOus, aNd cryptic, aNd all Of His text is blaNK, sO ya gOtta HigHligHt it, aNd its just really aNNOyiNg >c
Yeah that does sound like a pain! But hey it's a creative character choice, makes things interesting to have someone so mysterious no? -Gary
No-a way! I found-a blank profile too. Something-a about a "Scratch"...? -Signed, Mario Mario
Aww, that's-a really nice! Tell your son that-a Mario says hi! -Signed, Mario Mario
Ah, much better. Many apologies for the recent notifications, I needed to update my rolodex. Expect more contact from yours truly in the future.
Well hey isn't that exciting. Hope whatever plot you're going through with turns out well! -Gary
Guys boss man is taking the night off and I have to send a professional email to someone telling them they are a huge dumb dumb idiot fuck that doesn't know numbers. Need someone to translate that for me asap.