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Glitterbomb Crybaby

@glitterbombCrybaby

Pegasus pony, married, Zephyr Heights native! Certified as worst artist in modern Equestria, commissions open!

Blood: RustAge: Kult Score: 284Kull Score: 6257 followers2 following

Oh no.. was my ad for evil help too good? Is my master going to.. REPLACE ME??? :(

Kult: +65
Kull: +65
Total: 130
Ratio: 1.00

Aww.. my liege, that's the nicest thing you've ever said! I am so proud to be eating out of your garbage can at night!!

Again: You have a free meal. You... you don't need to keep doing that...

But maybe I like when you drool on the takeout boxes! It's like dessert!

I do NOT drool on the takeout boxes! I merely salivate more than average.

I like it! It's tasty! You should drool on all my food!

I will not! I absolutely /refuse!/

Maybe you can just drool on me a little? :D

NO!

:(

I am NOT some strange dispenser of bodily fluid for your indulgences. Take your meal and enjoy the roof over your head, underling, lest I take it away from you.

Hi! Are you evil? Do you want to help me serve an evil queen? Do you want to burn life as we know it and restore it as it once was; proper and strong? Please reply for EVIL QUEEN COLLABORATOR AUDITIONS!!!!

Kult: +65
Kull: +60
Total: 125
Ratio: 1.08

I suppose the most important question is; what do you bring to the table that traditional magic cannot?

↜₍ò^ó₎Ψ < I am full of adoration and can worship you as much as you wish! I am also very fond of information extraction and psychological reeducation!

Mmmm. The latter may be of use to me. How do you... re-educate things, on your end?

↜₍ò^ó₎Ψ < Isolation and forced introduction of topics during isolation! You remove the ability to think of anything else outside of the reeducation material, as well as providing small positive reenforcement once they begin to cooperate! Of course, you must start off with small rewards in proportion to their acceptance of these new ideas, and scale them up as they become more and more receptive!

I see... I like this. How do you feel about applying this stratagem towards... ponies?

↜₍ò^ó₎Ψ < Is that a euphemism for owning other trolls as pets, or literal equines? I have never tried to reeducate a hoofbeast, but I am more than willing to try

Literal equines. They're quite sentient, I assure you. Should be child's play in comparison.

↜₍ò^ó₎Ψ < Then I am more than willing to provide my services! At your command, Your Highness!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Excellent...

Publically declare your loyalty and fealty to me, Opaline Arcana, and seal this deal.

If I'm going to be the next top henchpony, I need to be way more rebellious! So against the boss' orders, I took another selfie! She's too busy screaming at Sunny Starscout to notice. If only she'd notice me. At least her couch smells like her! https://i.imgur.com/efszIfL.jpeg

Kult: +27
Kull: +25
Total: 52
Ratio: 1.08

GLITTER. Stop navelgazing and get back over here!

Oh! Did you want me to argue with Sunny, too? I'm not sure what the plan is!

I need you to scope out this website and help me find new business partners to which we can collaborate on in assuring the conquering of Equestria. Tut tut. Don't make me say it again.

Please say it again. I like hearing you say it. I could hear you say it again all day. Maybe one more time? Just once more. Hhh.. um, new partners for collaboration.. I'll look around!

New. Partners. Collaboration. GO!

Wing check! My wings are winging today!! https://i.imgur.com/Shk0Qla.png

Kult: +30
Kull: +25
Total: 55
Ratio: 1.20

If you could stop gallivanting in front of the mirror for five seconds and prepare to assist me in my next scheme, I would consider letting you have two meals tonight.

Wait -- I get meals?

You do. Whether you remember or not is none of my concern.

Woah.. I've been digging out of the trash until now. Look at that, everypony, I get MEALS!! This is the best job ever! I just want to thank you, your evilness! Oh-- and I'm done with the mirror today, sorry!

Please stop digging in the garbage. It is meant to be locked.

Tum time! https://i.imgur.com/B1RZV1N.jpeg

Kult: +10
Kull: +5
Total: 15
Ratio: 2.00

I wonder if anybody remembers us invading. If not, we can probably just do it again.

I'm not taking my collar off, I am collar O'Toole!~

Kull: +5
Total: 5

The queen of fire lets me sleep on her couch. She never said I wasn't allowed to SNIFF her essence from the couch, too! Mwahahaha! Ahh.. one day she will raze this world, and me with it, but living was worth it to be under her. Not in THAT way though.

Kult: +5
Kull: +10
Total: 15
Ratio: 0.50

The forest may be burning, but it's nice to be able to see it for the trees with my very special somepony, @burningSovereign ! https://i.imgur.com/ZObtFtb.png

Kult: +44
Kull: +50
Total: 94
Ratio: 0.88

...sure, minion. Continue to bask under my greatness. Remember to float high for actual air, lest you suffocate and die on the spot. I will not clean up your corpse.

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40

I won't let last time repeat itself, your highness!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Good, minion...

Ma'am, permission to sniff as I bask?

What? No. Keep your distance. You'll be burned with the sheer flames I radiate.

I mean, like.. maybe it's worth it!

No. Damnable fool, the burn marks alone will leave you immobile for months. Know your place, and continue scouting for any remaining ponies to subjugate onto my rule.

Yes, your highness! No sniffing! It would be too early to celebrate our victory that way! I get it.. >w>

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Hehehehe... hoohoohoohoo~ Mistress is with me!! https://i.imgur.com/eLq2ynT.png

Kult: +12
Kull: +10
Total: 22
Ratio: 1.20

Though Misty may not be by my side anymore... you'll do.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

Did you guys hear that? *SWOON* I'll do..~

Kult: +7
Total: 7

Hehehehe.. you're all SCREWED now! I herald your fire fueled doom at the hooves of someone VERY special! MWahaha.. MWAHAHAHA!!! I'm only a part-time villain, though, so please tip for my heralding. It's how I pay rent.

Kult: +39
Kull: +35
Total: 74
Ratio: 1.11

)(e)(. ill believe it w)(en i S----E-----E it.

I chair ish our were king class!

Kull: +7
Total: 7

☼ She doesn't scare us. Though, a once over check of the defenses of our castle would be prudent... ☼

Nuh-uh! You'll see! She's the coolest and the scariest!

@safeGaurd[SG]

I'm all for worker's rights, yeah! Please tip and/or leave a review of how well I heralded your end at the hooves of the queen of cursed flames. :D

Kult: +5
Total: 5

You're old news, lady. There's a new hotness in my life! >:]

Do you think this photo captures my good side? I think so! https://i.imgur.com/Shk0Qla.png

Kult: +20
Kull: +5
Total: 25
Ratio: 4.00

Aw thanks! You're too kind!

Can you say "dingaling" on this site, or will I be hunted for sport?

Kult: +16
Kull: +10
Total: 26
Ratio: 1.60

agents r sctually comin 2 ur house now

Oh god, oh fuck!!

Get my ex off my timeline before I hurl!!

Kult: +7
Kull: +10
Total: 17
Ratio: 0.70

√(Block Button)²

Kult: +2
Total: 2

Moon forbid a pegasus get a little motion.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

This does not even deserve a henchpony's log because this is dead serious! The inside and outside tour I did a few months ago of the evil castle? Everypony on the canternet, Queen Opaline is angry at me! She's blaming it at me! It's my fault I admit it! It's my fault I want everything about the evil castle off! the! canternet! I'll send in Detective Storm, I'll send in the dragons, I'll send everything in my power Just get it off the internet! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!

Kult: +5
Total: 5