
A formal statement on the events of last night's MARVUS XOLOTO performance. It is my sincerest regret that our star performer was not able to enchant you all with the musical stylings of his newest single #BIGFATA$$. However, it seems the arrival of some additional bad actors, in a desperate plea NOT to change the ideologies of the people, but merely to gain my attention, detonated an explosive in the arena shortly after the announcement of the night's closing performance. UNFORTUNATELY, the sheer quantity of oil sprayed amongst the arena and crowds acted as an accelerator. Crockercorp pledges to utilize a water-based lubricant for all future events featuring two men in skimpy shorts slamming one another before a roaring crowd. Anyway. Reanimations and mass healings have taken place throughout the evening and are now completed. Thank you all for attending. Announcement for this evening's festivities are to come shortly. #eridanweek #bombing #oiledup #badcombo



