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Haunch Herrin
@investigativeDetective
GOT A DISLOYAL QUAD? A PERSON GONE MISSING? AN UNSOLVED MURDER? GET THAT CASE ON MY DESK, AND I'LL SOLVE IT! 🔎 He/Him and my DMs... are open. 🔎 If you have a case... I'll take it on, bub.
🔎 Another case... solved. 🔎 As I've said before... a short break. 🔎 I'll be having a bourbon... on the rocks. 🔎 While I round out... filling out my case file.
🔎 Just finished a case... but there's no time to rest. 🔎 Have to get back on... that hoofbeast. 🔎 Two black coffees... for breakfast.
🔎 Thought I was finally getting some... movement. 🔎 Nope. Just the mailman... sigh. 🔎 Maybe in the next... hour.
🔎 You'd be surprised... how many people don't know they're being watched. 🔎 Take this as a warning... take a quick look. 🔎 See a shifty looking guy... trying not to make eye contact? 🔎 That's the one... Not that I look shifty.
🔎 Most of those... aren't even secret. 🔎 They're usually emergency bunkers... or storm shelters.
{[ I'm not talking a6out THOSE ones. I'm talking a6out the SECRET ONES 6elow even THOSE. They go deep into the ground and each one I've 6een in so far has a WEIRD EGG AT THE END. ]}√
THE GREEN MOON WAS ACTUALLY. ORBITED IN FROM A SGRUB SESSION. THE ORIGINAL ALTERNIA. "BEFORUS" AS IT WAS CALLED. WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DESTROYED. AND THANK FUCK FOR THAT. IT SUCKED ABSOLUTE ASS.
{[ Once I am done with the secrets of Alternia... THE SECRETS OF "SGRUB" WILL BE NEXt!!! ]}√
YOU WILL FIND OUT. THE LONGER YOU SPEND ON THIS SITE. SOME PEOPLE CALL IT "THE MASS PSYCHOSIS GAME." BUT IN EFFECT. IT'S AN IMMERSIVE ARCHITECTURE SIM. SO IMMERSIVE THAT IT LITERALLY TELEPORTS YOUR HIVE. INTO THE GAME WORLD. WHILE CAUSING AN APOCALYPSE. ON THE PLANET YOUR HIVE WAS ORIGINALLY ON. THE END GOAL. BEING TO CREATE AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE. THE GAME IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. UNFORTUNATELY. IT IS NEAR-UNIVERSALLY SOLD IN INCREDIBLY MISLEADING WAYS. SO THE VAST MAJORITY OF LOBBIES. OR "SESSIONS" AS THEY ARE CALLED. CONTAIN MOSTLY UNPREPARED PLAYERS.
🔎 I'm sure everyone... and their lusus has heard this one. 🔎 But I like it a lot... so. 🔎 When you eliminate the impossible... 🔎 Whatever remains... no matter how improbable... ‼️ Must be the truth!
🔎 As I'm eating... a little knowledge for you. 🔎 The best bite of a sandwich... is never the first one.
🔎 Going to have a lot of... time to kill today. 🔎 Keeping a keen eye on here... to pass the time. 🔎 I'd appreciate it if you could... behave.
🔎 On a long... stakeout today. 🔎 For those concerned... yes, I do have food in my buggy. 🔎 Black coffee and... a sandwich for breakfast.
🔎 Black coffee... for dinner.
xx_amd_maybe_a_lil_smthn_smthn_extra?_🥺_smthn_substantial?_xx
🔎 Maybe if I get... a little break in this case. 🔎 I'll pick up a... bagel, or something.
🔎 The opposite... very, very busy. 🔎 Not much time for a... full meal.
🔎 Short coffee break... while I make some notes in a case file. 🔎 I haven't missed anything... have I?
🔎 The worst part of my job, quite often... is outing those having the affairs. 🔎 Investigating into it is fun... but. 🔎 The reaction from those asking is... not the best. 🔎 Breaking out into sobs. 🔎 Speechless, pusher-broken faces. 🔎 Some pitch-lovers even attempt to cull me in... anger. 🔎 It's... not fun.
🔎 If anybody is free, I'm looking for someone to help me with a case I'm handling. 🔎 It'll be... easy work. 🔎 No questions asked... please. 🔎 100 caegars payment. 25 upfront... 75 after the job is done. 🔎 Please do message if there is any... interest.
🔎 Starting today off right. 🔎 A cup of black coffee... and a croissant. 🔎 Cases... after.
NOT SURE ABOUT THE CROISSANT the yeast devil would incarcerate my soul BUT THE BLACK COFFEE is the only way to start any light
🔎 The yeast devil... hm. 🔎 But, yes. Nothing better than... a little coffee to kick me into gear.
🔎 I just want it to be known that while fictional detectives like to drink on the case... 🔎 I only enjoy a cold glass of bourbon... once my cases are closed. 🔎 Professionalism and accuracy are... important to me. 🔎 And you will never find me having a drink... while working.
🔎 I can't help but feel like you're trying to... poke a little fun at me. 🔎 I'll have you know, I'm a serious man... with no time for games. 🔎 ... 🔎 Sometimes, with breakfast. Though I prefer strawberry.
Fuuuck. I love strawberry milk. You're real. I trust you implicitly.
🔎 Didn't your lusus ever tell you... not to trust strangers on the internet? 🔎 Though, your vote of confidence in me is appreciated... Mr. Cooper.
🔎 As stated in my first post, here is... the form. 🔎 If you have a case, this is the best way to... reach me. 🔎 I'll check this regularly, but contact me directly if your matter is... urgent. 🔎 This form will be pinned for... ease of access. 🔎 I look forward... to working with, or for you. 🔎 https://forms.gle/znoAScEZfq4eVjHA9
🔎 Hello, all. Haunch Herrin... Ace inspectigorer here. 🔎 I've spent the last... 9 sweeps racking up a number of successful cases. 🔎 And I'm always... looking for more. 🔎 If you need someone to look into something for you... I'm the troll to go to. 🔎 I'll have a dedicated form go up later. 🔎 If you have a pressing case or enquiry... feel free to reach out. 🔎 I'm reliable, successful and can keep your case... on the down low. 🔎 And please... call me Herrin.