Crowbar.
@pragmaticCoordinator
Third in command. I'm a busy man.
A real solid blow with a crowbar is a damn good solution to a lot of problems. More people should carry things like this around, honestly.
Where a hearty punch won't do the back of a gun or a trusty knife seems to work out just fine if ya ask me.
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Man. This little bastard's lucky he's so goddamn cute. Sitting on my desk, on my papers, swatting at my pen when I write. Can't get anything done with this guy around.
Now I'm far from a puritan myself, but life would be a hell of a lot easier if these gentlemen could be so damn thoughtful as to at least keepin' the dancing to the ballroom. Or at the very least, I wouldn't have to deal with the mental image for the next fucking week. Christ. #nsfw
Some fellas just don't have a touch of class. Some people would go to places for dirty dancin' that I wouldn't go with a gun.
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What a time to come back. The hell'd I miss?
Didn't miss anything too exciting while I was gone, I hope.
Right. I've had one hell of a day. Time to hit the sack.
The cat's coming with me, apparently. He doesn't give me much choice in the matter.
God *damn*, setting up cat trees is a pain in the ass. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten one so obscenely tall. The cat's probably gonna climb on everything else anyway.
Damn, I didn't expect the results to be so slanted. Finally heading back to the manor with all the stuff for Kismet. If I'm lucky, he might even actually use half of it.
Right. https://i.ibb.co/8DPxLz0h/Untitled.png What are we naming the cat? Putting it up to a vote, 'cause I think both suggestions are pretty good. Heart reacts for Oddball, diamond reacts for Kismet.
3833 < Kismet because when he gets an attitude he's a Hissmet. > 3833c
Kinda wish there were polls on this site now. Damn.
I believe some have used the react function for this purpose.
Yeah, I was considering it. I was thinking people might see it as cull score farming, but on second thought, I don't actually give a damn what those people think.
yeah, you just designate the buttons to the poll options. it's not worth overthinkin'.
Feed seems a bit more active now, so I'm once again asking for name suggestions. Little white kitten followed me home and I guess we have a cat now.
Yeah. I don't expect a lot of things with this cat to fit neatly in their assigned seats. I dunno much about cats, but what I do know is that they do as they goddamn please. Same as the bastards I'm sharing the mansion with. I gotta have somethin' to put on the papers, though.
3833 < I know LOADS about cats! Cats are pretty prone to having their favorite purrson and being very affectionate! > 3833 < Anyone that tries to say that cats don't love has never had a cat. > 3>8pp
I sure as hell figured out they love pretty fast. Little man followed me home, clung to my pant leg inside, and fell asleep in my lap all within 30 minutes of meeting the guy.
Hmm. That one's pretty good. Thematic, too. Guess it's between Kismet and Oddball.
3833 < Aww!!! He's already picked you out as his safe space! > 3833 < Cats won't sleep on just anyone, y'know? >
3833 < Make sure to have a lot of scratching posts around so he doesn't try the furniture. > 3833 < If he /does/ go at it, though, put a scratcher in front of the place he's scratching! >
Thanks for the advice. Guess I'll put another half dozen scratching posts in my cart before I saunter off.
Man, they really make cat beds in just about every shape, huh? They've got a whole wall of em.
Yeah, sure. I'm prolly gonna buy a handful of em anyway. I know at least half of the boys would flip their shit if they didn't get to have one in their room. Though I'm pretty sure cats have a reputation for sleeping pretty much anywhere else? I dunno. Never had a cat before.
Yeah, you must've missed that post, but I already got one. The damn thing is 7 feet tall and has 5 tiers. Figured we might as well make use of the obscene amount of space around here.
t' be fair you're postin' at itchy speeds, can y' blame me. also i'm gonna climb it. with the kitty.
I'm gonna get the biggest goddamn cat tree I can find. We have all this space and so much of it isn't used for jack. I suspect the little guy's prolly gonna climb on just about everything else, though.
Took me five minutes to get the cat to stop clinging to my suit so I could leave for the pet store. Adorable little bastard.
kitty secured and entertained. please make sure to get a laser pointer with the different light shapes it'll be so good.
I'm not even gonna bother screenshotting this one. What the hell are you playing at, Itchy?
[A video is attached. It's in one of the living areas of the Felt Manor, from the perspective of Crowbar. He's is sitting on the couch, the ankle of one leg resting on the knee of the other. He's got a tiny, fluffy white kitten in his lap. He hangs the crowbar on his finger by the curved end, and he makes it spin around like the blades of a fan. The kitten stares intently at the crowbar as it spins around. Crowbar then stops moving his fingers, allowing it to fly up into the air. The kitten wiggles its butt and pounces at the crowbar as it falls. Crowbar catches the eponymous tool, and the kitten lands on the floor, sliding across the polished floor and under the coffee table.]
y'know what, i stand corrected. you have a very good definition of fun.
Does that mean you'll watch him while I go get shit from the pet store? I wasn't expecting to be adopted by a cat.
https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/14/Untitled.png You good, pal?
it's very important to come back and let you know i'm no longer on your ass. with approval.
Ahhh, I see. That makes more sense. I couldn't help but see 12 notifs from the same guy and get suspicious. My bad.
I guess I should think of a name for the thing now that I'm stuck with him.
Forced to sit here cause of the cat. Feels weird just sitting here doing nothing. I didn't even realize I was the restless sort.