♦ pitied by @tacticalTelemetry
Of course! Youre such a smart lass janey. Really! Im the luckiest man alive.
Lovely post! I fully endorse this message!
What are you on about?
Good heavens woman you really know how to lay it on thick!! Yes i believe we oughta take this somewhere more covert before you decide to let the general public know further what may or may not get me hot under the collar in the bedroom but also you are sorely mistaken! #Suggestive #Terriblysorryjohnny
Oh but im wrong for posting a domestic violence joke. Tsk tsk tsk!
Ill say! Cant have any fun anymore what with all her fame and public image hullabaloo. The lady is merciless i tell ya.
All jokes! Im happy and content with my wife!
Id be a fool to grace this with a response but according to janey i am a real fool so ill bite. Not quite!
I take it you dont appreciate my answer.
Perhaps they were efficient in the way that they used it to hydrate each other and in turn didnt have to walk all the way back down for water nor bathroom breaks.
Well excuse me for not being the most chatty right now ive just got a real stern talking to in simpler terms and im a little miffed about it!
Blah blah blah WHATEVER!!! You know sometimes i miss that silly robot. At least he had an off button somewhere. You just keep going!
And yet youve got the audacity to come mock my low effort responses!
Should i know who you are?
Would you quit poking your nose in my business!?!?
I wasnt apologizing i was just a little offput by what i was reading. Would it kill you to be less of a douche sometimes strider??
Start a personal aquarium.
Dirk seriously what the hell are you on about.
I dont like your imaginary attitude strider! Youd think youd be a little more respectful to me what with you being in my brain and all.
I get the feeling youre taking me for a fool right now. Im not chitting anything you douche.
Right well. I dont know what the hell youre on about.
Oh im feasting my eyes alright. Dont think theyve ever been this ravenous in my life.
Aw shit can you really?? I just sorta figured itd phase right through you since youre all ghostly and whatnot.
No doy im gonna watch what you sent me. I asked you to elaborate!
Hold your horses for just a second now! You cant just throw me on any ol medication especially not a strong one right off the bat.
Okay but the things he allegedly wants to do to me shouldnt be so.
Please keep private issues private im already embarrassed enough by the very vulgar and very public threat he took it upon himself to make!!
*SIGH!!!* No jane. :/ God forbid a man have a chuckle.
Oh come on now!!!! Everyone knows its just for laughs. :(
Ive been advised to preface this post with the fact that this is a funny joke!! No the pizza is not violent. #abuse #JOKE
Oho! That ones good. I am a #couchboy right now huh!
Well johnny boy unfortunately nanna gets mad at just about everything i do.
My #wife is mad at me again and i will have to sleep on the #couch. #Marriage amirite hahaha.
Serious inquiry: How many of you actually believe me to be british? Ive just been called "brit boy" and im a bit floored really. You people do realize you can have an accent without being british yes? Its important to me that you realize this.
For the couch enthusiasts who may relate to matrimonial mishaps. Doy.
Hobbling around with the kind of back pain a man young and spry as myself shouldnt be struggling with for another 30 years at the very least. Really need to stop goading the missus but its an impossible task with her. Always so peevish i say! Dont know how much longer my spine can suffer sleeping on the sofa.
Okay well it seems my last post has sparked some concern that being said i figured i should make another post just to clear the air: I make my own decisions so stop speculating!!!! This internet detective nonsense is unnecessary and quite frankly its invasive to my privacy as well as my wifes. If you care so much about me you could keep your nose out of my doggone business maybe!! #Noproblemshere #Lovemywife
The proximity of the enter button and backspace button have damn near gotten me killed. Goodness. https://i.postimg.cc/VkHFnwn6/image.png
I dont think ive uttered the word innit a day in my life if im going to be blunt and honest with you. Silly assumptions!
Ill say. Curse my extensive vernacular i suppose. Im being labeled in ways i dont quite appreciate!
Roxy my dear i am not necessarily anything specific i just happen to speak with an accent! Its more a thing i picked up than an instance of me specifically being of any certain descent.
Yes which is why im puzzled by the amount of people who assume im an englishman? I guess my last name really does it in huh? How silly!
The missus has given me the honor of taking on some of her workload for the day. Paperworks a dull task and i really feel more and more like a caged animal the longer i sit in this chair. At least its appropriate to stand up and walk around in the comfort of my own space though! Ill have to sit through a whole doggone meeting later and im really not too chipper about it.
Whoopsie. I didnt mean to get all snippy. Im just tired is all.
Okay well i dont appreciate your vague and ominous threats but im already working again so dont get your knickers in a twist lady!! Good gravy.
Well no i dont exactly think i do but yes maam!
Little nap on the clock wouldnt hurt. Its not like the meetings for a few more hours anyhoo. A man needs his beauty sleep sometimes.
Egad... Is that really how you think i talk?
What would you consider to be "the lords work" because all youve done is annoy me something ungodly.
Maybe you need a good supressing! Might humble you.
You know its torture enough that ive got to deal with my dead-not-dead ex boyfriend on a regular day but now that hes somehow got social media access it really just feels like a big ol punch in the face.
You really oughta stop doing that because sometimes she does!
You know for being a real busybody dirk doesnt tend to contribute much to me and janes disagreements beyond going "you should hit him/her" depending on whomever looks more susceptible to that advice at the time. And ill tell you what its never me!! :/
Maybe jane was right about medication being the route. Christ you are such a douche.
I didnt ask to play dodgeball though now did i? I feel like a madman really! Cant even control a figment of my imagination!!! You just dont listen!!!!!
Dont play coy with me mister! You know what you did.
Youve got an interesting imagination is all!
Who the hell else would you be talking about strider??? Are you having relations?? You cant be flirting around when youre in MY head.
Ugh. Of course you arent. Im a fool to think youd grant me the pity of a reasonable interaction without me having to pry information out of you.
Microwaved.
trꙮll amꙮng us is better than the human versiꙮn by a surprisingly big margin. i highly reccꙮmend it. - The Mystical Potion Seller Guy Man
I AM WATCHING IT PURELY OUT OF CURIOUSITY AND A BIT OF CONCERN FOR MY OWN WELLBEING FOR THE RECORD!!!!!
I'm starting to get real sick of that not-so-opaque Dirk that's haunting my husband. He's just so strange! And he keeps talking to this "Chat" individual that I can't see so maybe he also has an imaginary friend? I don't know! This is a load of hooey!!!
If you werent so stupid and see through all the darn time i wouldve shown your sorry ass what for about three times over now!!!! You should be awful thankful for your situation you jerkwad.
An update on my prior posts speculations: He can hold a ball! A groundbreaking discovery. He can also chuck it at my head and bonk me right in the ol noggin which i didnt entirely appreciate. :/
Darn it thats exactly what shark tank said to me when i pitched this to them.
Fairly certain the one for guys who like playing with balls is grindr no? Not sure what thats got to do with my post but i digress! Chase your dreams little me.
I JUST had this exact same conundrum a week ago! Ive been trying with the idea of launching a tindr-esque app for guys who just want to play with balls. Im calling it ballr.
...I havent been let outside in a while.
Ive got the mindset of a dog or perhaps a very fatherly older man in the way that i look outside and go "man its a real nice day for a game of catch." Dirk wont entertain the thought and i dont really think he can hold a ball in those lousy pellucid hands of his anyhoo? Verdicts still out on how that works. Janeys totally out of the question too and im sure id get another verbal thrashing if i asked her about anything but work. I just wanna play some friggin ball man. :(
A lady is never all 3: 1. funny 2. beautiful 3. likes tomatoes on their burger
I feel just fine and friggin dandy bro! I dont know what youre on about.
Oh alright that's a FOOTJOB post right SMACK dab in the middle of EVERYTHING. No one knows how to be INCLUSIVE these days. Not all of us HAVE feet. #nsfw
Have you tried not being a huge douchebag? Im just saying my claims arent that outlandish my good man.
A dude puts his phone down for all of 5 minutes and his little brain ghosty guy decides to make vagueposts about how im not replying to him. Youre in my brain!!! Youve got other means of relaying information to me!!!
I was sleeping and he was on here posting all autonomous and stuff. Scary!
Still uncertain how i feel about him having access to social media completely independent from myself. He can just run around willy nilly saying whatever the hell he wants for the whole world outside my noggin to see. Its a little disconcerting!
Ladies, ladies, ONE at a TIME. I CAN'T possibly get to ALL of you. https://i.postimg.cc/NM2Mp5bY/image.png
my macro has more brainpower than you
More? I wasnt aware of any medical tampering.
"Slightly transparent dirk" has gotta be among my favorites in regards to the way janey refers to that douchebag. Spot on i guess!
Jake, can you please stop arguing with the slightly transparent Dirk and go do the work I told you to do hours ago!?
What is a gal supposed to do when her husband won't stop acting like a pathetic fool? Asking for a friend of a friend of a friend.