English. Jake, English.
@golgothasTerror
Jake English: Adventurer Extraordinaire! My greatest strength? Believing in stuff like friendship, justice, sometimes myself. Also big guns *wink*.
Okay. Im trying this one more time. Perhaps my bosom is just too powerful for this site. #suggestive
You think I'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel by now, but my henchmen have secretly been adding more to the barrel while you're not looking, such that I can continuously be funny without fail.
Of course i forgive you. Part of why i love you is your duplicitous nature bro.
is it still dry humping if you cry during it #nsfw
realest post in this website
nothin better than being nonbinary cause now everybodys gay when we makeout
Are you a komodo dragon? Because youve got me feeling very small outmatched and strangely eager to find out what happens next.
ill note my <> react iss ffollowed bby sseveral ???????
I take it then youve never wrassled a komodo dragon?
Trust me pal youll want to go do that first and the puzzle pieces will just tumble into place.
well iff i ever ffind a komodo dragon i sswear to you i will try and make ththe mosst off ththe encounter in order to get ththiss experience
Ive finally got my results back from that pregnancy test and- hold a gosh darn mo... they look a smidge familiar...could it be? @voidArchitect
dear god
oh myyyyyy ~ familiar indeed
🜏 xongrra♱ula♱iions / sorrrry 2 hɛarr ♱ha♱ (urr prrɛfɛrrɛnxɛ) ♱hɛyborr♱iion ? ♅
Thank you for your condolensces/support. Currently i am in talks with the father to see about child alimony.
I hope youre ready to be a father.
babe ofc i am they r gonna be such adorable babies
Why yes mr vending machine i WOULD like to take a pregnancy test after a smoke and some beef jerky. #substance
Ayo th3y got Capri2un???????
from the little ive learned from r.l this checks out
I long to see the world through your eyes.
Rl... reinforcement learning?
congrats on ur bundle of future joy heard its gonna be triplets
Threatened to knock his lights out and he started grinning ear from ear. What does that mean?
He Wants You So Bad Dude
8=l < He's into that
i have an idea but youll have to get open minded rq
he's into that
How does that translate into me knocking his block off???
Some Guys Are Into Being Knocked Around
My vulnerable post is that i still dont know how to spell worsecteshire.
ah good ole worsteshchire
rooster sauce!
I think this is the one!
This. Actually makes sense. Thank you.
I sure wish id seen that post before id dyed my khaki shorts blacker than the night.
Just for the sake of clarity what *is* a goth? My searches online have proved rather unilluminating. Unless of goths are always accompanied with a hefty bosom and whatever strange manner of mascot doing unsavoury things to them in which case i apologise for my utter boorish ignorance. #suggestive
▲if you say you're goth, and dress like it, you are▼ ▲its more about intentions, yknow, people can see when you put effort into it▼ ▲and if you don't, then you arent▼
FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, IT’S ABOUT SOME MUSIC GENRE? THAS’ ABOUT ALL I GOT. AND SOME HUMAN NAMED SHEAKS SPEAR?
Oh righty then! So any old dick and fanny could waltz in from off the street and call themselves a goth?
I guess shakespeare was pretty goth back in his heyday.
▲anyone who tries, and people can fucking tell, plus your attitude▼ ▲but sure if you wanna be a shitter for no reason other than you can be, then yknow, make sure to slit your wrists on the way out, asshole▼
...I beg your finest pardon? Is that really a requirement to be accepted into that little corner of society?
▲i see why he treated you like that now▼ ▲play stupid with someone else▼
I havent the foggiest frigging clue who this "he" is youre referring to and frankly i repel the idea that i would ever play anything other than dumb luck at the county fair ring toss. You do realise theres no character limit on this site right?
yf iiou ayn't gettyng drunk, get the fuck out the club! yf iiou ayn't come to partii, get the fuck out the club!
CluBs reacting for oBvious reasons
Not to seem antiquated but terms like fartmaxx and shitmog becoming part of colloquial lingo truly harkens the downfall of our linquistic integrity.
Alexa play opening a can of whoopass on haughty b-list directors by me bass-boosted.
i dont think they make b list creative directors maybe they do though i wouldnt know
Funny! I couldve *sworn* it was your name i saw on the imdb rating.
i mean it probably was do you have any fucking idea how many god forsaken dave goddamn motherfucking striders there are mucking about like an unholy number of us zillions even whatever made up numbers that one capitalism game uses once you unlock mars and shit not even just accounting for alternate universes on the whole weve gotta count timelines within those too not all of us can be sexy hot and talented dog some of us are making misses
You do have a point. Thus far my count of sexy hot AND talented daves ive seen on this site remains firmly planted at 0. So i suppose the opening is still available if you were looking for something to whittle away the hours hehe.
not gonna lie dog that was a sick burn you just gave
that said you have to know the babes on this site are all over the stache man i dont even have to try
I must confess ive got myself a real case of the green eyed monster for that caterpillar of yours. Ive been trying to coax a proper beard out of this face since i was a gangly seventeen year old whippersnapper and the best ive ever managed looks like a patch of scraggly weeds that lost a fight with a lawnmower. So call me a babe the way i too am all over it!
see i am literally so sexy hot and talented
I wouldnt go that far but i concede to your superior hair follicles. I think that just about falls under talented.
Also all I'm saying is, I think some people look way cuter with a hand wrapped around their neck. #suggestive
8=l < Feeling their breath tremble under my bare hand knowing a mere twitch w001d be all it takes to crush them 8=l < That brings a special kind of feeling
Agreed, it's a great feeling for control freaks and egomaniacs having so much power over someone like that, bonus points if there's a twinge of fear in their eye.
bet
What.
dont mind that
I am very much so, what was up with that.
i was horny af, not thinkin strait & i will not b elaboratin further
Look I understand, we all get horny right, but does it really impaire your logical thinking to that degree?
i waz also extremely drunk
That explains it.
i be moaning chick fil a macaroni and cheese's name instead of his. #suggestive #goonettedrabbles
<<"woahhh,,,">>
Fighting and fucking, the ideal.
beer first cereal second #substances
God damnit why do you have to make good posts.
its literally my day job be cool post good
Debatable.
well youre here now and you literally said it yourself debate over
Good post yes, cool not so much.
sniff sniff whats that i smell? is it- could it be surely its not jealousy?
Oh fuck right off.
B) love you too sis
Even better: beer in cereal.
holy shit
Isn't it crazy hoow i always get what i want
(¯▿¯) It's because you're true and pure of heart ♫
Thank yoou foor getting my mooood up it was ruined after a knoown sex pest rechitted my poost
(╥﹏╥) Ewww, Kryqus-san I'm so sorry... ♫
Boy dinners starting to look a little dire gents. #substance #gun
i suppose it does adventurers need like real food energy and such
hello jake!!!!
This is kind of everything to me.
Oh swoon! My knight in shining armour! Now if you could throw in a little hooch too that would surely make my little ticker leap with joy. #substance
I keep my booze in the cupboards dont you worry.
If youd like to help fill up my top shelf my po box is open.
Hello callie old girl!
Er. Youre welcome?
delivery is on the way home dog call me papa d the way im delivering nourishment straight to your doorstep and maybe like two weeks worth of groceries cause man this is uh lowkey sad
Real man's dinner.
Personally im unexpected item in bagging area.
øptiøn 2
other.prolly
Its only fitting that id be greenland! ˚₊‧꒰ა´ ꒳ ` ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
have you clicked on the links at the bottom of the page?? theres like a whole thing :)