♦ pitied by @unforeseenFragment
If I put my head in my hands and make a pitiful little noise do you think that the world will be a little kinder or do I have to simply continue to remain as expressionless as possible and hope to weather it? ... I will weather it regardless, of course. I will continue to fight for improvement. Do not worry too much.
Sighs. I suppose I will have to kill Iksham. This is a joke. I am not going to hurt her. However, she did come in and pause my music without explanation so I have decided that we are temporarily enemies. This will do little to effect the way I treat her.
<action; statement input; statement: caretaker is fina||y done with maintenance input; statement: i think i deserve a treat />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am a1z0 deep1y unzecure. tthiz iz tthe pr0b1em. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i've been to|d that we're not staying in this system for much |onger input; statement: not sure how i fee| about that input; statement: i don't |ike it here but i think i'd think that about whichever system was the first one i was made to scan & ana|yse input; statement: at |east it's becoming the |ight shift />
--- |oh that's good to know although actually thinking about it I don't think I'd be able to eat any of the bugs because if any get in I won't be able to reach them no way| _____
<action; statement input; statement: scan input; statement: scanss done a|| done input; statement: sneding the data to my pazcie once reseacth reasech research team is happy with it input; statement: crysta|data fe|t |ike iceshards but not g|ass input; statement: frost on g|asspane not spiking through. cou|dn' cou|d've been worse but panache behind g&erbu|bs strong />
<action; statement input; statement: done main scan the data didn't freeze my pan |ike i thought it wou|d input; statement: they're reca|ibrating scanners for next parameters input; statement: composition & crysta||ine detai| input; statement: don't want to i don't want pan freeze i hope the data is not sharp input; statement: i do not want to scan but i wi|| be good i wi|| be good i wi|| be good i wi|| do as i am to|d />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] a b0nuz 0f digging tthr0ugh 01der fi1ez iz finding p0etry tthat i wr0te at z0me p0int. #p0etry httpz://cdn.imgchezt.c0m/fi1ez/afc7922e3653.png [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] g00d evening. a reminder perhapz. tthat y0u cann0t he1p tth0ze wh0 d0 n0t wizh tt0 be zaved. [END MESSAGE]
I shall be absent for a while. I wish you all well, and I hope nothing too concerning happens while I am gone... If it does, please. Let me know.
<action; statement input; statement: i know i wi|| be scanning the p|anetoid tonight to get as much information as possib|e without moongorger |&ing input; statement: i do not want to but at |east the p|anetoid is much sma||er than the other p|anets input; statement: & i do not think it fe|t as bad in my pan as the e|ectrica| storms on p|anet 5 input; statement: hard to remember since the initia| scan b|ends into a|| the other ones i did when i got here />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] hmn. rez01ved within tthirty minutez. z0 much f0r fa1ze friendz and being a10ne. [EMOTION: gratitude. re1ief. de1ight. ttruzt. ann0yance. betraya1.] [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i c0me back tt0 exp1anati0nz and tthey are n0t even fun 0nez. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: she is none of those things & she never shou|d have been, so action; query input; query: you know those pear|s you make action; statement input; statement: go & shove them down your th### ### ##### error:inputdenied error:ru|e_break_attempted Correcting input; statement: apo ap apo|ogies high highb|ood. />
<action; statement input; statement: you are a piece of shit worth |ess than the refuse |eft in the drainage pipes in a |oad gaper in a s|um input; statement: you need to do everyone a favour & grab a screwdriver & sh#### ## ## ### #### #### ######## #### ### ### ######## ## ##### ### #### [#gore #se|f-harm #vio|ence] error:inputdenied error:ru|e_break_attempted Correcting input; statement: a a apo|ogies. high. highb|ood. input; statement: but you shou|d do that it wou|d suit you so we|| />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] p1eaze d0 n0t zay zuch tthingz. tthey wi11. becauze tthey actua11y care ab0ut me and n0t tthe fee1ing 0f p0wer tthey get fr0m being crue1. y0u wi11... y0u wi11 n0t get rid 0f tth0ze 0nez z0 eazi1y. i wi11 n0t be a10ne again. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i think he heard that the he|m keeps track of everything & either assumed or decided that means it keeps track of everything specifica||y for him input; statement: & it doesn't. />
<action; query input; query: why is it the he|m's fau|t that you forgot the time of the meeting action; statement input; statement: i'm not an a|arm c|ock error:inputdenied error:ru|e_break_detected Correcting input; statement: augh i can be used as an a|arm c|ock. but i am a pi|otbattery first & i have much more important things to do than remind you five minutes before a meeting that the meeting exists input; statement: prick. />
MY body craaves sleep, it waants me to give into the velvety oblivion; my gaander bulbs burn aand my muscles aache. BUt the mind refuses, it is so intent on kkeeping me up
<action; statement input; statement: i a|so hope i see more! input; statement: the first & on|y one so far was when i was on the way to this system, so i was a bit input; statement: i was very busy with adjusting to f|ight & space navigation />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] unf0rtunate1y it iz very very g00d at hurting uz. [END MESSAGE]
"AAnxiety is not reaal, it caannot hurt you," I saay aas it proceeds to kkickk the shit out of me #cw-mentaal-heaalth
<action; statement input; statement: wondering if i shou|d try to work on music this |ight or try to get a game to run more smooth|y in my pan input; statement: i wish i was both capab|e of s|eep & a|so permitted to rest input; statement: the continuous draining of my psionics & the constant running of ship systems is so distracting & i hate it & input; statement: & i don't remember what actua||y s|eeping was |ike but sure|y it was better than that, sure|y dreams or daymares are better than the data input that i cannot turn off />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i kn0w. it iz juzt bringing z0me fami1iar fee1ingz. with being put int0 a b0dy tthat iz n0t y0ur 0wn. and h0w pe0p1e zee y0u. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: gas p|anet 5 is having another e|ectrica| storm & the sun is f|aring again input; statement: sure|y the scan of the previous storm is fine input; statement: i do not want to scan it input; statement: if i am going to scan something i want it to be the so|ar f|ares input; statement: those are way nicer in my pan input; statement: the research team is debating which to focus on & i am not a||owed to interject with my opinion />
<action; statement input; statement: hate scans input; statement: e|ectrica| storm scan hhurts pan extra e|ectric not meant to be in there doesn't fit correcttt input; statement: but is because pan is for researchdata now & ship system />
<action; statement input; statement: fuck. i think i fucked up but there's nothing i can do that won't make it worse input; statement: i do not want to draw attention. />
Dreamed that they had returned and awoke disappointed. Could be worse. I could be alone. ... What am I doing? Ugh. I'm going back to sleep. #vagueposting I guess.
<action; statement input; statement: wou|d be rea||y nice if i cou|d stop being yanked away from what i'm doing because someone wants me to fu|fi|| some inane order />
Gettin' back to th' #deathrrankin' content. Warrnings of #death, #gorre, #injurry and maybe #bodyhorrrrorr dependin' what y'all count as that. This one's frreezin' t' death. Rrequested by @awakefrromAcherron Bit of a trricky one actually, cuz I spose technically yerr dyin' frrom yerr orrgans givin' out, orr a lack of oxygen. It's actually kinda nice though. I mean, arrrright, at firrst it fuckin' sucks cos yerr cold. And that's uncomforrtable and kinda painful. Afterr a bit though ya go numb. So ya don't even feel it. Just takes a while. You'll get kinda woozy. Ya wanna take off yerr clothes even though they'rre keepin' ya warrm. Therre's this calm that comes with it. That's what ya gotta watch out ferr actually, cuz that's yerr body shuttin' down. Yourr thinkpan sorrta just accepts it at a cerrtain point. Ya stop shiverrin' cuz yerr body just can't keep goin' like this. Ya don't wanna eat orr drrink orr nothing. Once ya get therre ya usually just fall unconscious. An' then ya don't wake back up. 7/10. Ain't all that grraceful but it's sorrta nice at least. Wish it didn't take so long though. ...Frrostbite's fuckin' annoyin' though.
<action; statement input; statement: trying to brace myse|f for warp but that might make it worse input; statement: i don't want to i don't want to do this i hate being a pi|otbattery so much input; statement: if they have to use my pan & power i wish i cou|d be as|eep or unconscious the who|e time input; statement: but that's not possib|e i don't think. we|| it is possib|e to have an unconscious tro|| as the pi|otbattery but that's usua||y for he|m-drives with an auto-navigaFUCK error:inputdenied />
<action; statement input; statement: i hate asteroids i hate asteroids so much my pan hurts from concentrating input; statement: stupid fucking rocks trying to get me in troub|e input; statement: upside i can see moongorger on my scanners! pazcie pasca| pazcie [@ec|ecticEngineer] he||o pazcie hi />
<action; statement input; statement: i had a|most got used to being docked in the space station input; statement: now the constant pu||ing as my psionics are drained to keep the ship where it shou|d be in space is input; statement: is input; statement: kind of nauseating. faint|y hurts. pu||ing behind my g&erbu|bs & back through my pan & synapses & into the cab|es p|ugged into my nervous system & i can fee| a|| of it [#bodyhorror #body-horror] input; statement: i wish i was used to it a|ready />
<action; statement input; statement: i have been informed that f|ying the ship a|ong the p|anned path to where it is supposed to be is not enough to earn me a treat input; statement: fuck you error: inputdenied />
<action; statement input; statement: i do appreciate it input; statement: but the account is to he|p me keep my mind & thus |ast |onger for the empire input; statement: i just think that i shou|d be given a treat when i do something difficu|t or taxing error: inputdenied error: ru|e_break_detected Correcting input; statement: ow fuck i think i shou|d get treats a|| the time, not just when i've been rea||y good. but that is not the point! />
<action; statement input; statement: i wi|| be |eaving the station very soon to head back to the system input; statement: i don't want to f|y at warp & they can't make me! error:inputdenied error:ru|e_break_detected Correcting input; statement: ow they can & wi|| make me f|y at warp input; statement: ugh stupid fucking coding, i hate it input; statement: |et me te|| technica| |ies in order to vent! />
I see. Stay safe, teleportation is a little unwieldy at times. It can take a while to get used to. From what I've heard.
<action; statement input; statement: pi|otbatteries, the new grubpedia! input; statement: p|ease stop. />
<action; statement input; statement: particu|ar|y annoying crewmember for moongorger has made themse|ves known to me input; statement: |ots of action; quote input; quote: hey he|m, [insert stupid question here]? why? action; statement input; statement: repeat ad infinitum. input; statement: i wish i was ab|e to turn off their abi|ity to ask me questions input; statement: or do anything rea||y />
<action; statement input; statement: ugh. i wish i cou|d express the harm i want to inf|ict input; statement: so he knows exact|y what i intend to do to him #vagueposting />
smash: your balls with a hammer pass: the blunt that's my Contribution. i'm still kinda stressed out.
AAffirmaations: I aam caapaable of waalkking the few steps to kkitchen. I aam aa functionaal aadult troll. I aam caapaable of aaccepting help. OH, who aam I kkidding, post caancelled, everybody go hive
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... z0metimez i mizz being tthe ma1ev01ence. whi1e i waz n0t exact1y a perz0n tthen. i enj0yed tthe ruzh 0f it. i waz a due1ing c1azz zhip dezigned f0r zpeed and zh0wing 0ff. tthat waz nice in a way. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: it fee|s very strange to be |&ed input; statement: kind of |ike i am |aying on something inescapab|e />
<action; statement input; statement: aghh fuck input; statement: oh i hate the truth patch even more now input; statement: it fee|s |ike meta| nai|s pushing into my pan to try not to answer a vio|et input; statement: hooks on the ends to drag the truth answers out of me input; statement: hurts hurts hurts input; statement: deeper & deeper the |onger i sta|| #vagueposting [#body-horror] />
<action; statement input; statement: oh that hurt that was hurting input; statement: didn't rea|ise how much unti| it |et me go #body-horror #vio|ence />
I would like to claim that all the compliments will inflate my ego but I continually manage to slip up at the most inopportune times in frankly embarrassing ways, which reminds me that I am in fact, despite my Whole Deal, a normal troll.
<action; statement input; statement: i do not want to warp input; statement: pan hurts from having to concentrate with the asteroids but it is not up to me i am just the battery pi|ot input; statement: going new p|ace input; statement: i do not |ike the psionic drain input; statement: no i don't want to warp i error:inputdenied />
<action; statement input; statement: the drain from warp is awfu| input; statement: warp draining bad ugh hate it input; statement: pu||ing behind my g&erbu|bs through the nerves through my pan & out [#body-horror] input; statement: fee|s |ike pu||ing a few a||-dayers in a row input; statement: can see the station on my scanners in my pan />
<action; statement input; statement: bio-me|d update input; statement: the genera| & his |ieutenant & his input; statement: others input; statement: have |eft suneater input; statement: can no |onger fee| his steps in my spina| bone segments [#body-horror] input; statement: oh i hope he never visits a ship i am insta||ed in ever again hhhhh />
<action; statement input; statement: so nerve-wracking to f|y through asteroid fie|d input; statement: if one hit the shie|ds i wi|| be in |ots of troub|e input; statement: unnecessary impact bad input; statement: some of them are sma||er than a tooth input; statement: tiny compared to hu||, pain to avoid, hate them />
<action; statement input; statement: bio-me|d update input; statement: a crewmember has p|ayed a prank on their kismesis by hiding her regu|ation ho|d-a|| sack in one of the venti|ation ducts. input; statement: it fee|s |ike there is something |odged in my breathing pipe input; statement: i have been instructed not to te|| anyone the |ocation of the carrying sack. input; statement: hh i do not |ike it />
<action; statement input; statement: the obstruction in the vent has been c|eared & the crewmember |ight|y reprim&ed input; statement: that was a mi|d|y awfu| sensation />
THinkking baackk to the job interview, I aam recaalling my maany blunders aand I haave to wonder... WAaas it my inaability to kkeep laasting eye contaact thaat convinced them to hire me? THe nervous laaughter before every response? THe aabnormaal excitement aabout haaving workk to do aat aall times? AAre they aall aalso sociaally inept freaakks?
<action; statement input; statement: i hope it does input; statement: they were under so much stress />
<action; statement input; statement: i am g|ad it he|ped input; statement: i wish there was more i cou|d have done to he|p you input; statement: <><><><> />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] a11 0f tthat and we 0n1y g0t zeven back... [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: they are okay they are in orbit input; statement: pazcie is okay />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] 0h. i tthink. i did tt00 much. tthat iz a fami1iar fee1- hhk. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SOCIAL SUBROUTINE SYSTEM: [UNIT PW4282EX IS NOW: IN STASIS] reaz0n: p0wer zurge 1eve1 1. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i don't know why i didn't expect her to go into stasis from a surge input; statement: she's been trying so hard against the psychic pressure for so |ong input; statement: & then a|| the stress of getting away & a|so having to remain in |ockdown despite her superiors trying to force her to |et them |eave & go get eaten input; statement: i just hope she wakes up fee|ing better />
<action; statement input; statement: go away go away go away go away go away go away input; statement: maybe if i say it enough times here, i won't act out & get corrected #vio|ence />
<action; query input; query: can we examine a |ess awfu| p|anet next input; query: maybe the crysta| p|anetoid action; statement input; statement: it on|y has a |iquid nitrogen core & a surface that wou|d |ike|y freeze a ship in p|ace />
.) I think this is, like, the third time I've just wanted tQ scrap everything I've made fQr the DJ set ಥ‿ಥ ))
[BEGIN MESSAGE] "d0 n0t hizz at uz" tthen zt0p ttrying tt0 dizab1e my 10ckd0wn pr0cedurez. ugh. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] zhe haz g0ne tthr0ugh a11 tthat and- ttzzzzhck. tthey d0 n0t want tt0 1eave n0w. zaying tthere iz a 1ight 0n tthe h0riz0n. tthere iz n0t. tthere iz n0thing tthere. juzt tthe zpire. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] zurvey rezu1tz were tthat every0ne wh0 c0u1d hear tthe hum had z0me f0rm 0f menta1 abi1ity. tth0ze zuzceptib1e tt0 pzychic p0werz a1ready. i... tthere iz n0 10nger a hum. but tthere iz a prezzure. unc0mf0rtab1e and zitting behind my eyez. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: agh ho|yfuckingshit that was awfu| input; statement: putting this unit in stasis to make sure />
<action; broadcast input; broadcast: he|m drive stasis initiated action; initiate_stasis input; initiate_stasis: HELM-UNIT-LP8954EX input; duration:00.00.05.00 Y/N Y Confirmed Initia|ising />
<action; statement input; statement: i do not know what to do #vagueposting input; statement: i hope it wi|| be okay input; statement: & that my crew & superiors wou|d sit very sti|| & quiet & do nothing for a bit so i can actua||y think without being my thoughts being forcib|y redirected every few seconds />
<action; statement input; statement: i do not |ike the spire on that p|anet & how it is affecting moongorger. input; statement: i want pasca| we|| away from it input; statement: i am g|ad that the psychic effect is not reaching to orbit />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] 0ne 0f tthe ttechnicianz wh0 iz a g01d with 10w-p0wered pzi0nicz haz rep0rted tt0 tthe medbay. ... it tturnz 0ut tthe high pitched hum i waz hearing iz n0t juzt me. it iz a1z0 n0t a phyzica1 z0und. @darnerzdeztreza when y0u are next with uz. [ACTION:QUERY] d0 y0u hear it tt00? [END MESSAGE]
6et baCk to y'all in a little bit. really 6otta take Care of myself. if nothin' else it's what she woulda wanted.
I hope that if any other versions of myself exist, they never got caught. It did lead to some good things, but... Well. I wish they were spared the pain. That being said, I hope there are no other versions of me.
i have other food i'm just tryin' to be playfully overdramatiC to offset all the aCtual horrible shit that's been happenin'.
<action; statement input; statement: going to try to p|ay among us. input; statement: never p|ayed before & i have no idea if i can run the game & not get in troub|e input; statement: but i rea||y need a distraction />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ah. ... it zh0u1d be a1right. i have a r0ugh 0ut1ine tthiz ttime. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] we have decided tt0 1and again. which iz a zhame. i waz enj0ying tthe m0vement. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] 0h yez. i am zure tthey 10ve tt0 chat with me. tthat iz why tthe ttechnician enj0yz tturning 0ff my v0ice. az i zaid. tthere iz a reaz0n tthey d0 n0t get tthe bare minimum fr0m me. and it iz n0t becauze i d0 n0t wizh tt0 give it. [END MESSAGE]
Ah.... I see. ... This one might make me tear up a little. I'll mentally prepare for that. #lockanime
<action; statement input; statement: the genera| is coming back to suneater input; statement: not |ooking forward to the input; statement: the the the agh input; statement: bio-me|d. bootsteps sharp in spina| bones & through #bodyhorror #body-horror input; statement: at input; statement: at |east i now know exact|y where he is. />
<action; statement input; statement: wait wait no no no action; query input; query: why is he coming to the he|msb|ock input; query: am i in troub|e action; statement input; statement: i did not do anything bad i did not input; statement: this unit has been good it has been trying to behave input; statement: maybe he just wants to te|| it that he spoke to pasca| input; statement: fuck oh no nonono />
<action; statement input; statement: he to|d this unit when he reprim&ed it |ast time that input; statement: that he input; statement: that it shou|d not give him reason to speak to it again input; statement: this unit has been good it has not bitten again or simi|ar action; query input; query: why does he want to ta|k to it action; statement input; statement: it is so scared so scared />
<action; statement input; statement: this unit does not underst& why it was not punished but it is not comp|aining input; statement: not punished yet. he did not say it was off the hook. input; statement: this is not he|ping the hovering boot fee|ing. input; statement: spent the |ight shift trying to recover with pazcie />
I would like to ask the universe to give me a break but unfortunately asking may in fact make things worse. As such, I will continue as usual. At least I got to learn about an interesting plant today. And that Minecraft has had several more versions than I thought since the last time I played it.
<action; statement input; statement: i do not |ike this p|anet at a|| input; statement: the spire keeps moving & we are 96% sure it is the source of the |ight that tried to bring in members of moongorger's away team input; statement: it is going towards moongorger & i do not |ike it one bit input; statement: i am g|ad that suneater is in orbit but i am worried about pasca| />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am enj0ying tthe "b0dy tterr0r z0ng" by ajj. 1yrica1 examp1e: i'm very z0rry tthat y0u have tt0 have a b0dy 0ne tthat wi11 hurt y0u and be tthe zubject 0f z0 much 0f y0ur fear it wi11 betray y0u be uzed againzt y0u tthen it wi11 fai1 0n y0u. my dear but bef0re tthat. y0u'11 be a d00rmat f0r every vici0uz narcizzizt in tthe w0r1d 0h. h0w tthey'11 zcrew y0u a11 up and 0ver tthen feed y0u zi1ence f0r dezzert #1yricp0zting [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: fina||y it is the |ight shift proper input; statement: research team fina||y |eft the |ab & went to 'cupe input; statement: i am going to watch videos of peop|e freerunning & c|imbing & doing parkour with cameras strapped to their nugbones input; statement: maybe i can trick my pan into thinking i'm not stuck in this ro|e & function that i hate with the strength of the sun they keep making me scan />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] [mem0ry dec0ded. beginning tth0ught ttranzcripti0n.] y0u had zimp1e c0mmandz. f0r y0u were a zimp1e tthing. "zpeak." "f0110w." "ztay." "chaze." "hu--" "-----" "----" "------" [end tth0ught ttranzcripti0n] ... i zupp0ze i had tt0 find tthe fu11 1izt eventua11y. #paz10re #pazmem0riez [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: ha|fway through the scans of the p|anet input; statement: big caves so big cou|d fit cities under the crust input; statement: fee|s |ike thunder or hitting a gong but the sound is emptiness in my pan stretching & stretching input; statement: something there input; statement: the ca|cite spire has moved its not supposed to do that this unit doesn't know how it did that input; statement: ch changggingg parametermeters for next scan ow />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SYSTEM: mem0ry dec0ded. beginning ttranzcript... [redacted]: wright. y0u d0n'tt have tt0 g0. wright: i zaid i w0u1d. [redacted]: y0u can ztay hive! zay y0u're zick. i'm zeri0uz. wright: i d0n'tt want tt0 av0id it juzt becauze he might be tthere. [redacted]: he *wi11* be tthere. y0u kn0w tthat. he never mizzez a chance. wright: we11. maybe tthiz ttime cirrem wi11 zt0p him. [redacted]: y0u kn0w he w0n'tt! he never d0ezz. he'zz a c0ward. wright: y0u're hizzing again. [redacted]: and y0u're zzhaking again. d0n'tt g0. wright: ....i pr0mized i w0u1d. [redacted]: hzzzzzzzz. y0u and y0ur pr0mizzezz. fine. i'm n0t he1ping with tthe paint tthizz ttime. i'11 be in tthe greenhive with pyth0n-mum if y0u c0me tt0 y0ur zzenzzezz. have fun being hizz tt001. [mem0ry endz] #pazmem0riez #redacted #paz10re [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: 1 more scan|eft. transmsissi=oin of radioactibe or psoinic or extraenous nonphysicca| activity from spspire & subterranenean input; statement: pan hurts its pan hurts input; statement: sio many numbers dtata f|ooding in thruogh this units ppan />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ugh. my zcannerz were n0t dezigned f0r cave zyztemz 1ike tthiz. and i am 0ut 0f pathfinder dr0nez. [END MESSAGE]
The heat is making me unwise. What I wouldn't give to be a regular troll in moments like these, and not a very dedicated anon. Oh well. My conviction isn't so weak a little bit of overwhelming heat would break it.
Its not that I don't like hugs. It's more that hugs expose a little bit more information about the shape of my body than I'd like people to have. Also Ormici likes to pick people up when they hug. I'm good on being picked up. Quite fond of having my feet on the ground, in fact.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i mizz him. #vaguep0zting #yearning [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... picking up my exp10rati0n tteam waz a g00d ch0ice. we have had tt0 1and tt0 ztabi1ize tthe crew member. tthe carniv0r0uz h00fbeazt creaturez are very 10ud. #p1anetrep0rt [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: head technician went digging through my code to find out why i have 'excess' troub|e with scans input; statement: he said that the scan modu|e coding wasn't meshing we|| with my synapses & processing centres. didn't fu||y 'take'. integration was interrupted when i misbehaved during insta||ation. so now it is having to rewire my pan the 'hard way' & pu|| more power to bridge the gap input; statement: he said it wi|| sett|e in time & input; statement: & he won't manua||y connect it now because that wi|| damage the synapses in a way that he does not want & wou|d 'increase the risk of its pan ma|functioning during scans & corrupting va|uab|e data' input; statement: at |east i am not in much troub|e since i have a|ready been punished for what i did during insta||ation. i am being a good pi|otbattery [#vio|ence #bodyhorror #body-horror] />
<action; statement input; statement: bio-me|d update input; statement: the cameras fee| more natura| than my actua| g&erbu|bs input; statement: kind of. i try to zoom in with my physica| vision & can't input; statement: it is vague|y nausea-inducing. makes my g&erbu|bs ache from behind & through the connection nerve input; statement: i input; statement: i hate that i am aware of the nerves connecting my bu|bs to my nervous system & pan. #bodyhorror />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... i d0 n0t tta1k ab0ut him much. but #matezpritm0nday zeemz appr0priate. and he d0ez n0t uze tthiz zite. cirrem. i mizz y0u. y0u were kind and w0nderfu1. y0u ttried tt0 pr0tect me where y0u c0u1d. i am g1ad y0u cann0t zee me 1ike tthiz. i d0 n0t tthink y0u c0u1d have managed it. but tthen. i zupp0ze tthat iz why we zp1it up in tthe firzt p1ace. tthe inevitabi1ity 0f it a11. ... i h0pe tthat wherever y0u are. y0u are happy. #quadta1k #yearning [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i was thinking about [wishingfor] s|eep & i input; statement: there is a gap. fi|es de|eted from when they did a partia| wipe during my insta||ment input; statement: i input; statement: i do not remember what it was |ike to s|eep in a recupercoon. />
<action; statement input; statement: the scan is done & this unit wants to s|eep for a week input; statement: but of course it is not a||owed even if it were capab|e of s|eeping anymore input; statement: it a|so wants to scream. it knows better than to do so a|oud. />
... The good mood didn't last long. I'm going to get off of the website for a while and do something productive.
.) Qh gQd, I almQst knQcked my drink QntQ my husktQp and I'm pretty sure my life, like, literally flashed befQre my eyes Σ(°△°|||)︴ ))
<action; statement input; statement: simi|ar cost to scans but harder morefidd|y input; statement: pan was hurting anyway />
<action; statement input; statement: second simu|ation down input; statement: pan hurts its panhurts p|ease |etit rest />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] d0ab1e at tthe m0ment. it wi11 be harder when we ztart zending away tteamz. tthey act 1ike i d0 n0t keep an eye 0n tthem c0nztant1y. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] tthe miza1igned n0de waz f0und and repaired. tthere iz zti11 1eft0ver pain fr0m it. but tthat wi11 rez01ve in ttime. 0ther pain zeemz tt0 be c0ming fr0m p0rtz tthat are a 1itt1e zenzitive. z0 tthey are in parameterz. and i am a110wed tt0 tturn 0ff tthe pain tthere. [END MESSAGE]
<action; query input; query: can i have one cyc|e where i am not corrected or punished at a|| not even a '|ight reprim&' #vio|ence action; statement input; statement: that wou|d be great />
=oXO finally you don,t have to imagine me in shinji pose anymore''' it can just be happening https://64'media'tumblr'com/b29a93b1daca46ebb1b31b7163f7c95f/978b3a05b4a6be3b-49/s1280x1920/a78dfd9b0519a3b3fb88c01d297238fb1321bbb8'png =oXO
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ztupid fucking zt0rm making it hard tt0 1and and i am g0ing tt0 be f0rced 0ff1ine after tthiz. SIGH #vent [END MESSAGE]
Vetable tarts. I'd need to hunt again if we wanted meat and I'm not in a trusting Iksham to behave mood at present, so I'm staying in the building to keep an eye on her. Ormici should be back from the anthive soon if she wants to eat with us. It he doesn't, that's fine too.
There are people you love who would sell you out in a heartbeat. There are people you don't like who would keep your secrets under torture. Love and trust are not related.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] [EMOTION: ann0yance.] tthe m0re i tthink ab0ut it tthe m0re fruztrated i am getting. d0 n0t ca11 a he1m "andr0id" 0r "huzkt0p" 0r "r0b0t" 0r "c0mputer" 0r "machine" i am- we are a1ive. d0 n0t reduce uz tt0 z0mething tthat iz n0t. [END MESSAGE]
=oXO people and emotions and communication¡¡¡¡ =:) i,m learning what it feels like when you have a bad impression about someone but then they keep being nice and it gets through that barrier and you start having more positive feelings¡¡¡¡ i,ve never been on that side of it before so it,s really new and exciting for me¡ i feel like i have a better understanding of the world, yay¡ =oXO
<action; statement input; statement: there were 647 meteors or meteoroid objects |ogged in the meteor shower input; statement: so much information in my pan input; statement: hgghh i don't care about the statistics of each one i just wanted to watch them fa|| through the atmosphere of p|anet 6 />
It would be inaccurate to say something along the lines of "I am a lotus flower", but the nature of the phrase is that nobody who says it is actually feeling all that serene. It's a strange sentence, ironic by default. It's more like an affirmation than a truth, it exists to make other people aware that you are angry, but also that you intend to remain calm about it. Anyway. I am a lotus flower.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] whi1e i am g1ad tthe ttechnicianz are tthe kind 0nez. tthey have dizc0vered i waz tturning 0ff my pain. and are inzizting i zt0p d0ing tthiz. z0 tthat tthey can figure 0ut why tthere iz activity in my pain recept0rz in tthe firzt p1ace. apparent1y. tthere iz n0t meant tt0 be any. ... ... tthiz iz g0ing tt0 hurt. i d0 n0t want tt0 d0 it. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] #b0dyh0rr0r z0me 0f tthe pain haz a z0urce. a pin in tthe tt7 - tt10 regi0n iz z1ight1y miza1igned. a mi11imeter 0ff. n0t much but it iz en0ugh tthat inztead 0f finding tthe 01d pathwayz. it iz making new 0nez. we wi11 100k c10zer at it when we 1and. pr0bab1y repair it if p0zzib1e. hhhurtz. tthey zaid i can du11 tthe pain. n0t rem0ve it c0mp1ete1y. need tt0 figure 0ut if it iz a11 fr0m tthere. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: it did not bite its caretaker but it did try input; statement: was corrected as it moved input; statement: bit its tongue instead as it was zapped #vio|ence input; statement: ow. />
<action; statement input; statement: this unit is being good now it is behaving for its maintenance input; statement: it input; statement: it hurts. #vio|ence />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] tthank y0u. i am enj0ying making tthem. i am unzure if it iz r0ugh 0r juzt... mnh. it iz what it iz. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] 0ne 0f tth0ze dayz. httpz://cdn.imgchezt.c0m/fi1ez/7f9b1c2d5304.png #pazca1art #eyeztrain in caze [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i know the coding that corrects my 'inattention prob|em' wi|| not be removed for a |ong time if at a|| input; statement: but i wou|d |ike it to be |oosened a bit input; statement: even a||owing me a window of a few seconds to respond before correcting me wou|d be we|comed />
<action; statement input; statement: it is a good thing how my attention snaps to the genera| whenever he speaks input; statement: just in case he requires the he|m input; statement: but i a|so hate it. his steps & voice are so sharp in my bones & pan respective|y #bodyhorror potentia||y />
<action; statement input; statement: update. the bronzeb|ood was off by a |itt|e bit input; statement: there is now b|ood on the tab|etop #vio|ence #gore input; statement: my bet to myse|f was incorrect :( />
<action; statement input; statement: for the record input; statement: nothing that happened in the incident of crewmembers p|aying the knife game was my fau|t input; statement: fai|ure to prevent them from being idiots does not count as the he|m causing indirect harm />
=oXO i am¡¡¡ i,m happy because i know bievey is alive and it,s only a matter of time before i find her, and because my friends love me¡¡¡ so basically everything is good in the world¡¡¡ =oXO
<action; statement input; statement: good dusk input; statement: i had a nice |ight input; statement: watched de|icious in dungeon with pasca|. the |ight shift crew didn't require he|m attention for anything except doors & the unstationary moveab|e scaffo|d between f|oors. input; statement: i don't want this cyc|e to start input; statement: i don't want to do what i wi|| be made to do anyway />
<action; statement input; statement: i want to inf|ict harm i want to inf|ict harm input; statement: can't. not worth the punishment my coding wi|| administer #vio|ence input; statement: typing this here instead of screaming as |oud as i can />
you go through enough ab$olutely horrifying $hit a$ a kid and you kinda lo$e per$pe¢tive on how bad $ome of the $maller inju$ti¢e$ were broken arm v$ broken finger type deal. like. ohhh right i'm $uppo$ed to have none broken bone$ whoop$ie
=oXO if you don,t hear from me in''' hmm' well searching for people takes a long time and i have no idea how the signal is going to be so if you don,t hear from me by tomorrow send help¿ but it,s okay we got this =oXO
=oXO yes¡¡¡¡ i want her alive too =:( i,ll keep updating when i can¡ it,ll take a while to find her she was apparently walking for a while after the crash and is lost so''' don,t expect news super soon, but¡¡¡ i,ll update when i know more =:) =oXO
.) TQmQrrQw night we’re taking dQwn the memQrial at wQrk, since the flQwers have finally, like, started wilting. We’re gQing tQ keep sQme phQtQs and small gifts arQund, but! I think it’ll be a little sad seeing that empty space nQw! But, I think it has tQ happen eventually. ))
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SYSTEM: [mem0ry 10g decrypted] [tthiz 0ne. it zeemz. iz a ttranzcripti0n 0f a c0nverzati0n] [redacted]: pazz. what happened? tta1k tt0 me. pazca1: had a zurge. i... tthey're g0ne. tthe- [redacted]: it'zz 0kay. we can figure it 0ut. n0 0ne b1amezz y0u. pazca1: .... it waz rec0rded. i have tteztz in tthe m0rning bef0re a p0rt inzta11. [redacted]: wright. n0. y0u can'tt d0 tthat. pazca1: what if it'z y0u next ttime? 0r pyth0n-mum? i can'tt- [redacted] i have tt0. it'11 be 0kay. i pr0mize. [redacted]: ... y0u're making it hard tt0 keep y0u gr0unded. wright. 0ne tt00 many zztepzz and tthey'11 ttake y0u. i d0n'tt want tt0 10zze y0u. pazca1: ...i kn0w. but i can'tt be a rizk tt0 y0u either. 0r tt0 myze1f. an0ther zurge 1ike tthat... [end ttranzcripti0n] ... [ACTION:QUERY] wh0 are y0u? #mem0ry10gz #paz10re [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i cannot wait for this night to end input; statement: so busy bare|y time to think for myse|f input; statement: i just want to watch de|icious in dungeon with pasca| :( input; statement: but no. input; statement: do this, he|m. do that, he|m. faster. 'pay attention, battery.' ugh. />
<action; statement input; statement: head technician is in an exceptiona||y bad mood tonight input; statement: this cyc|e wi|| be a 'wa|king on c|uckbeast she||s' one />
>> HWJWHWJWMW H¡ PAડCA1 ¡ M¡ડડED YOU ¡ am unfortunate1y not fu11y tru1y back but ¡ hope to be at ડome po¡nt <:))
[BEGIN MESSAGE] it iz fami1iar at 1eazt. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] it mizzez being ab1e tt0 1ie. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: this unit's horns & teeth & musc|es ache from the strength of that correction #vio|ence input; statement: its face hurts too input; statement: |ight shift is starting. good. input; statement: it wi|| watch videos of earth bees unti| next cyc|e starts />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am ztarting tt0 be ab1e tt0 tte11 which mem0riez have [err0r] tthey are fuzzy at tthe edgez. tthere are h01ez in tthem. even if i tthink i have unc0rrupted tthem. tthere iz juzt... a gap. where zhe waz. i tthink. i can remember her at tthe end. h0w it fe1t. #death [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] .... z0me 0f ttheze rec011ecti0nz have meant tthat i need tt0 update my ki11 c0unt. #death [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i wizh tthiz waz better. i am ztrugg1ing tt0 get anym0re c1arity 0n tthe zymb01 0f [redacted]. httpz://cdn.imgchezt.c0m/fi1ez/a560b2b8835d.png #paz10re [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: anyway be nice to your he|mstro||s/pi|otbatteries input; statement: so they don't get distracted worrying about what cou|d be done to them if they aren't in |ine 100% 100% of the time input; statement: or aren't the mode| he|m input; statement: & perform worse because they're scared />
<action; statement input; statement: i want to sit on a |oungep|ank with my moirai| & drink hot choco|ate & eat snacks & chat & watch fi|ms input; statement: i want to hang out in person with her input; statement: & for neither of us to be trapped |ike this />
incredibly.embarassing.having.that.pale.shadow.of.me.here.suddenly.spouting.propaganda.again
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i want him tt0 at 1eazt zay it tt0 my face. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am n0t g0ing tt0 tturn tthe zhip ar0und 0ver z0me idi0t. we are ztaying 0n c0urze. and c011ecting zamp1ez. and everything iz fine. [END MESSAGE]
.) We’ve gQt quite a cQllectiQn Qf flQwers and Qther tributes at the stQre nQw. It’s nice! A little sad tQ lQQk at since, well, they’re fQr a member Qf Qur cQmmunity whQ’s nQw gQne, but, like, it’s nice tQ see hQw many peQple will remember yQu after yQu’ve died, and all the lives yQu’ve impacted, maybe withQut realising. ))
<action; statement input; statement: this unit's caretaker got annoyed with it for comp|aining too much input; statement: they have begun input; statement: teaching it input; statement: not to comp|ain about how it is c|eaned #vio|ence />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am prepared tthiz ttime at 1eazt. z0 i am 1ezz zcared. i tthink zhe wantz tt0 zee me zcared. zhe haz tturned 0ff my zight. n0t my cameraz. zhe cann0t d0 tthat with0ut getting int0 ttr0ub1e. but my ganderbu1bz d0n'tt w0rk. i can fee1 tthem. i can c0ntr01 tthem. tthr0ugh tthe camera in tthe he1mzb10ck i can zee tthey are 0pen. but tthey d0 n0t w0rk. #b0dyh0rr0r [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ugh. i tth0ught i waz d0ne with tthiz fee1ing. perhapz it iz ttime tt0 f0cuz 0n tthe zimu1ati0nz again. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: scanscannnn input; statement: 75% of fu|||| dduration input; statement: this unit wants to input; statement: wantsto stop />
=oXO today has been a weird day for my feelings inside' lots of emotions' lots and lots' don,t like half of them' but¡¡¡¡ we keep moving we keep going today will be good i,m sure¡¡¡ =oXO
=oXO i don,t think i,m set up in the thinkpan for kismesistude i just''' don,t really hate people very much i think' i just kind of feel mildly distressed' sometimes very distressed''' i,ve never felt the need to compete or be better than someone or do the whole rivalry thing''' and i don,t really like annoying people either''''' i,m not sure if she,d bother me more or less if i tried to'''' i don,t even know' i don,t know' usually this wouldn,t even bother me but i,m just in such a strange mood today''' =oXO
<action; statement input; statement: knowing that the scan wi|| be running for quarter of a cyc|e makes it fee| more draining from the start input; statement: or maybe i am just dreading what i know wi|| come. input; statement: did not think about that unti| 3.20 c|icks after beginning. />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i kn0w. i kn0w wh0 i am even when i refer tt0 myze1f az it. tthe aut0n0my iz z0mething i am w0rking 0n. [END MESSAGE]
.) Thanks Eileit, I appreciate it :) Her ex Qnly seemed tQ have it Qut fQr her sQ I think we’ll be safe, but we’ll be keeping an eye Qut as well. She shQwed us a phQtQ Qf them, but we’ve never seen them arQund, and we Qnly fQund Qut what happened because Qne Qf her friends checked in Qn her first thing this evening and fQund her bQdy. SQ, I feel fQr her friend the mQst, she had the mQst awful time Qut Qf everyQne ))
[BEGIN MESSAGE] it iz getting c1awz fi1ed. ann0ying. [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: at |east the phantom pain is gone. input; statement: this unit thinks that the reprim& was enough to redirect the pain feedback input; statement: gave it enough punishment pain to override the pain memory from it's ports. input; statement: this unit bit its tongue during correction #vio|ence #gore input; statement: b|ood in its mouth. />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] tthey have n0minated a new caretaker. we wi11 zee h0w tthiz g0ez. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SYSTEM: a1ert. fact0r="b100d1uzt" increazing bey0nd expected 1eve1z. m0nit0r he1m. [END MESSAGE]
=oXO hmmm''' i thiiiink maaaybe i,ve figured out what the thing making me anxious is¿ but i can,t really do anything about it so i guess i,ll just lift heavy objects for a bit¡ yaaay lifting heavy objects¡ =oXO
=oXO not like officially, but from what mystry told me, there,s three people kind of all vying for control of the areas around the basin, and one is the kidnapper and the other two are very much not friends with him so he won,t step on their territory for more than a very short while, and only when he thinks he won,t get caught''' which is fine for the rim of the basin, but not for a tunnel that comes further into one of the other,s territory¡ and thankfully those two are normal-ish' that,s what i was told, at least''' i trust mystry =:) =oXO
<action; statement input; statement: my ports hurt input; statement: not sure if they actua||y hurt or if i'm just rea||y aware of them r&om|y #bodyhorror input; statement: |ike when you're sudden|y aware of your stepnubs touching each other />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... i mizz t0uch. #he1mvent [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] the beez have n0tt vizited much t0day. i zuzpectt they are buzy with z0me 0f the new f10ra we zamp1ed t0day. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SYSTEM: mem0ry dec0ded. [a vide0 fr0m a firztt perz0n perzpective. there iz an0ther tr011 with.... featurez thatt d0n'tt exact1y g0 int0 0ne image. a cr00ked grin. curving h0rnz. zh0rtt hair. n0 feature ztayz in p1ace 10ng en0ugh t0 match with the reztt. 1eaving their face unc1ear. c1ipz 0f them att differentt timez and p1acez. a f0reztt att duzk. 1eavez fa11ing behind them. zitting nextt t0 a 1ake. 1eaping t0wardz the viewer fr0m 0n t0p 0f a c0uch. carrying a c0mputer int0 a hive. h01ding a twin-headed pyth0n 1uzuz. there'z n0 z0und when zhe ta1kz. a c0mputerized v0ice reading 0utt an idea 0f whatt waz zaid. "d0n'tt w0rry. i'11 keep y0u gr0unded. wrightt." ] #paz10re #c0rruptedmem0riez [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] huh. thatt iz- SYSTEM: he1m iz 0ff1ine. reaz0n: p0werzurge 1eve1 2. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] 0kay. z0. purging mazz mem0riez 0f a ze1ectt zh0rtt time hurtz. g00d t0 kn0w. if y0u kn0w why i did thatt. d0 n0tt te11 me. ghhh. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] de1eted due t0 c0nfezzi0na1 [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: i hate being a pi|otbattery i hate being a pi|otbattery i hate being a pi|otbattery input; statement: every |ogged thought can be checked input; statement: pan & nerves & musc|es rewired to serve as a ship #bodyhorror input; statement: abi|ity to |ie & |ash out & cause harm |ocked under correction coding #vio|ence input; statement: the above are the most annoying parts current|y. input; statement: there are 738 individua|s on this ship & near|y a|| of them jump at the chance to either get me in troub|e or punish me input; statement: & this post is a|so p|aying with fire since my venting was a|so f|agged as a prob|em input; statement: i do not want to be a prob|em he|m but i do not want to be a he|m at a|| />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] SYSTEM: [unitt haz p1aced "c0nfezzi0na1" ztatuz 0n paztt three h0urz 0f activity. marked az c0mp1ete. purging mem0ry.] SYSTEM: [em0ti0na1 zyztemz are back 0n1ine] [END MESSAGE]
deleted due to confessional ((OOC this was the message: stars above i despise using behaviour subroutines. it makes me feel a little less nauseous though. please pretend pascals replies here are also deleted))
<action; statement input; statement: i'd |ike a|| my externa| coding adjustments to be reverted &/or removed, p|ease input; statement: it hurts #bodyhorror #vio|ence />
maybe i'm the ¢razy one but i don't think another me would $hake me that mu¢h. feel$ like it'd be "$ure thi$ might a$ well happen" $ort of $ituation, hone$tly
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am z0 tired. unf0rtunate1y there are m0re teztz t0 run. and rezu1tz t0 pr0cezz. [END MESSAGE]
=oXO I THJINK I MIGHT BE S,TUPID¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ =oXO https://64'media'tumblr'com/2213ff01011aef2872cfa639de67ee36/ee3cda4d02adff48-6b/s1280x1920/236cbde472403e7426300ec010f910f1793f88eb'png #antpics =oXO
<action; statement input; statement: forced stasis is much worse than an unexpected one #bodyhorror />
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i think itt iz unfair. the 0therz i have m0urned 1ike thiz d0 n0tt gett t0 zimp1y return. butt maybe thatt iz becauze there waz z0 1itt1e 0f them 1eftt. #death #g0re #vi01ence [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] @te1evizi0nary w0u1d y0u rather 1ive f0rever 0r die t0m0rr0w? ah. thiz iz a heavy 0ne. i think i w0u1d rather die t0m0rr0w. thiz iz n0tt the z0rtt 0f 1ife i w0u1d 1ike t0 have f0rever . and i w0u1d n0tt hand1e 0ut1iving my friendz very we11. thank y0u f0r the quezti0n gander. httpz://f0rmz.g1e/a2fxhv1fy1e4twky7 #death #azkb0x #pazca1zqueriez [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] #ventt #zuggeztive the w0rztt partt 0f being he1med iz the 1ack 0f being ab1e t0 t0uch. i fee1 1ike i zh0u1d n0tt have been z0 eager t0 h01d 0therz during my time 0ff becauze then i w0u1d n0tt mizz itt az much. [END MESSAGE]
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@eclecticEngineer You don't even remember her face, do you? The friend you turned into a smear on the concrete. The one who encouraged you out of your shell, helped you think about options other than the helm. Do you even remember her name? Or do you just remember the sensation of her body cracking under the pressure of your psionics? How her bones fractured and soft organs squished? How they laughed? #death #violence #gore You don't. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗
<action; statement input; statement: crewmember reported the incident to superior. input; statement: this unit has been input; statement: reprim&ed input; statement: for 'wi||fu| & de|iberate destruction of crew property'. this unit had not been punished for that before due to not getting caught. the reprim& hurt. #vio|ence />
<action; statement input; statement: i had my first communication re|ay |ast night. documenting the experience here before the crew gets up & i forget as their dem&s fi|| my pan. input; statement: it's incredib|y unsett|ing to reach into space with my psionics, |ike input; statement: |ike stepping off a c|iff with no psionics to catch you, trying to aim for a safety net that isn't actua||y a net input; statement: the initia| reaching is most|y just psionic drain pu||ing from your pan, but the bio-me|d feedback is in your touchstumps. |ike reaching into ice water input; statement: the connection was unp|easant & weird. probab|y because it was not a natura| interaction of psionic fie|ds, but two beams forced to faci|itate data transfer input; statement: it was in my horns. itching inside & to the tips of the chitin & down through my nugbone & into my arms & a|| the way to the end input; statement: specifica||y in the bones input; statement: it was worse in my pan when the connection was estab|ished. audiovisua| data shoving into my pan & being yanked through to moongorger. kind of |ike a fast river input; statement: it over|ayed my vision & the tones of my owne input; statement: of my captain was so sharp in my pan input; statement: i cou|d sti|| function for the rest of the ship & crew but it was. difficu|t. />
=oXO i have a lot to do tonight so i,ll probably be unreachable for most of it¡¡¡ i hope you all have a good night¡ =oXO
=oXO it,s too hot for all this''' but we gotta eat so i,ll persevere i just needed to complain slightly first =oXO
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i mizz them. #vague [END MESSAGE]
<action; statement input; statement: agh pannn huurtsts bodyy hhurtrts input; statement: makee itstop makeupp yuor mmmind input; statement: conconconf|iccting orderrs />
...yeah, i'll stay home. all that last ni6ht took it outta me 'n' i'm pretty sure i a6itated my ankle doin6 it.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@eclecticEngineer You aren't quite sure of when the power surges started. They were small at first. Little zaps that would make you crush something suddenly. Enough to make you no longer use them to carry your lusus around. The mediculler doesn't have an answer for you. You stop going out. You try to find reasons, patterns to why they happen. Bright lights. Flashes. You can work around that. You dim your own psionics, slowing the pulse of their rate till they don't hurt your eyes anymore. You wear sunglasses to help and you do not consider the suggestion to get a port installed so you can discharge the energy. You are out with friends. It happens fast. A flash camera, someone taking your sunglasses as a joke for the photo. You come to on the floor. Exhausted and weak and surrounded by the smears that were your friends. Your pan hurts, drained of energy. Hours later, when you've hauled your weak self back to your hive, you book in for your first port installation. I'm very sorry. #gore #death #violence 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗
.) Qh, um! I was gQing tQ talk abQut my rQller hQckey game, but, like, it seems like nQw isn’t an apprQpriate time, judging by the feed. SQ, I guess I’ll wait a bit! 😅 ))
=oXO lots of sad things happening on the dash all of a sudden''' i hope everyone is uh''' either doing okay or will be doing okay soon¡¡ =oXO
=oXO 8 is too many trolls in one place i think' i think if i went to one of the big events that keep happening on this site i might actually keel over dead¡¡¡¡ um i,m okay though just tired' maybe overwhelmed' but i have to stay in the mealblock until we have food available i,m mostly just telling atrexi what to tell other people to do though but too many cooks makes the room really warm' =oXO
z1eep wi11 make very 1itt1e difference. i am zpending m0zt 0f t0m0rr0w unc0nzci0uz whi1e tr011z 1ike y0u decide if they need t0 dig further int0 my nervez. #g0re #b0dyh0rr0r
...0h. i d0 n0t want t0 g0.
i d0 n0t want t0 1eave my m0irai1 a10ne up there.
...they have given me a date. z0rt 0f. i have tw0 0r three nightz bef0re i am rehe1med.
iwi11n0tcryiwi11n0tcryiwi11n0tcry n0 wait d0 n0t zend-
♤ Alright, I've Done All The Planning. All That's Left Is Getting The Prints Into An Architect's Hands So They Can Iterate And Improve ♤
<action; statement input; statement: technician went through this unit's chittr & communication |ogs input; statement: it cou|d not stop her input; statement: it is in a |ot of troub|e probab|y #vio|ence input; statement: at |east this unit's superior is busy with the captain current|y, but then again input; statement: hovering boot over it. />
.) Qh nQQQQQ my cQ-wQrker just texted me and said that she just gQt tQ the stQre abQut peQple are, like, already queueing up fQr the latest card set release! We dQn't Qpen fQr, like, anQther hQur 😭😭 I think tQnight is gQnna be super flat Qut!! ))
It really hurts my heart to see ꫂ❁eoꫂ❁le going through so much on here...but I'm also! Glad to see them sharing it...since it means they have an outlet! And an avenue towards helꫂ❁! No one should have to suffer alone ❣︎
Ack. I almost thought about making one, too. You might be right... ❣︎
the zec0ndhand pain i am fee1ing fr0m imagining thiz iz embarrazzing
Oh, I think I need to stop being online for a bit. I am having edgy bastard feelings, which means I should go outside or something
((but also yeah it is genuinely uncomfortable and it's been making me nauseous all day so yeah uhhhhh not feeling too great about sticking around i gotta admit :s ))
...Christ even when i have him bloCked i Can tell what's 6oin' on. alri6ht i 6otta level with y'all ri6ht here 'n' now 'Cus i'm fuCkin' nauseous: if that motherfuCker - and y'know who i mean - isn't 6ettin' stopped, if he's just 6onna be allowed to post that dis6ustin' shit and 6et away with it for whatever dumbfuCk reason some Cretins are Comin' up with, i'm strai6ht up just deletin'. ain't no fuCkin' way we're just allowin' that shit to be posted with impunity. there ain't any fuCkin' reason he should be 6ettin' praised, ain't any reason he should have apolo6ists baCkin' him for whatever reason but here we are. edit: i had some time to Calm down, level out. i'm probably not 6oin' to be deletin', but today has been mentally exhaustin' unlike anythin' else. sorry folks.
<action; statement input; statement: going to do an experiment input; statement: see if i can say 'fuck' input; statement: okay. input; statement: seadwe||ers can go fu## ########## error:inputdenied error:ru|e_break_attempted Correcting Initia|ising action; statement input; statement: aughh fuck. ow. #vio|ence />
zhe iz n0t yet back 0n1ine z0 my c0ncern 0n1y gr0wz.
i. mn. i wi11 1eave it f0r n0w. i am. i am in my 0wn head again. i wi11...try t0 f0cuz 0n z0mething e1ze. and maybe z1eep.
...uh. howdy. sorry. i'm really embarrassed about Crashin' out so damn hard. y'6otta understand i ain't ever felt flushed like that before. ain't ever felt so Crushed like that before. i think what i really need is to just... head baCk home. not 6o on some stupid 'adventure' where i'm 6onna 6et myself killed like an idiot. i'm 6onna try 'n' keep it down for the next Couple days either way. yap less. it's been a lil' too rou6h on yer loCal Courier. thanks for CheCkin' up. makin' sure i'm okay. don't make sweepin' life deCisions when you're exhausted mentally 'n' physiCally. mi6ht shoCk ya to know that 6oes badly. m'sorry a6ain folks. u︵u
cconfessionn um. i wwantt to see. a bbodyy of wwaterr ssomenightt.
<action; statement input; statement: i want my superiors & the crew to stop comm&ing he|m attention input; statement: i want to be ab|e to use my psionics instead of them being used to power a ship input; statement: i just want to do my own thing & not be in a he|m />
sometimes the drone picks me up and shakes me until i pass out if it senses i'm getting angry at people i hate this i am not a snowglobe ♪
<action; statement input; statement: apparent|y the star-system maps i am making are not to be shared outside of the imperia| network. input; statement: i got corrected when i tried #vio|ence input; statement: shame. it's very interesting. />
sometimes i want to turn my dressing room into a rage room but that fucking overbearing drone my boss has on loan from a fuchsia restrains me every time ♪
My brother is chewing on ice directly next to my ear. I might have to kill him, actually.
>> Aww thank you whwjwhwkw ¡ try rea11y hard to be n¡ce to everyone 🥺🥺
thank y0u. they have tightened my reztricti0nz back up and i am having t0 1earn h0w t0 zpeak ar0und them again.
It's hard having secrets. Sometimes I think I'd like to just stoꫂ❁ hiding. Stoꫂ❁ letting the fear of consequence hang over me and deal with whatever may come. I think about changing myself sometimes, too. But I'm ꫂ❁robably not brave enough for that. It's okay. I'm lucky. I know that. I'm really! Really lucky. And I'm haꫂ❁ꫂ❁y I'm alive ^^ ❣︎
Um okay I think it is late enough in the morning for me to lose some inhibitions. And to assume that few ꫂ❁eoꫂ❁le will see this and it will be buried by evening! So! Sometimes I zoom in. On his ꫂ❁rofile ꫂ❁icture. Just to look at his eyes. Because I think they are very ꫂ❁retty >//< ❣︎
genuinely think a little bile just went into my mouth
I don't think you're suꫂ❁ꫂ❁osed to tell me your wish. ꫂ❁lease. ❣︎