Lantan Nikkel
@nebulousIlluminator
He/Them DMs open GOing NOrth
THey caall me the worrier for reaasons I aam increaasingly concerned aabout
GIrl, help, they kkeep delaaying my traain
I aam going to kkill someone. WHy is everything likke this? #violence
>> What'ડ go¡ng on, 1antan? :<
THaankk you for reminding me to taag it, HImero. I aam simply stressed aand things aare not going aas they should. BUt we haave not taalkked in quite some time, how haave you been?
>> ¡'m do¡ng okay, ¡ th¡nk. ¡'ve gone back to work, and ¡'ve been manag¡ng my hea1th aડ per uડua1. ¡ have a mo¡ra¡1 now!! ¡ don't th¡nk ¡'ve updated you on that
OH my, thaat is indeed aa new development for me. THaat is splendid news!
>> ¡t ¡ડ !! Very good newડ !! He'ડ the beડt :))) ¡t'ડ Kenton but moડt peop1e know h¡m aડ Tag
OH, I thinkk I haave seen him aaround! I aam glaad to see you haappy with your moiraail
I thinkk aa little kkiss aand aa comfortaable embraace would maakke me feel much better, but aall my quaadmaates aare busy...
I aam going to staart sniffing paaint, if things continue likke this. I do not haave time to do aart aand I will be daamned if I haave bought it for nothing #substaances
I miss them #yeaarning
WHO DO YOU MISSSS >8?
SOmebody I aam worried aabout. I see you haave gotten new baadges, congraatulaations
I HAVE EXPANDED MY G/ORIOUSS HOARD HEHEHE >83 HOPE WHOEVER IT ISS THAT YOUR MISSSSING ISS A/IVE AND WE// ENOUGH >8/
YOu seem to taakke pride in your collection. IT is quite aadmiraable, truly. AAnd... I aam sure they aare aalright. I merely worry too much
DID YOU SSEE MY SHINY NEW SSPINNING BADGE >8? ITSS SSO COO/ >8O
THere is so much I need to do aat once, I aam losing my mind. I haave no ideaa how my maatesprit does it, he haas so much more paaperworkk to worry aabout thaan me. I kknow it is thaat he HAAS to get it done, but I AALSO haave to get this done aand if I do not, it will be aa huge problem, but I aam just THIS close to just breaakking down aand leaaving it be
:> Brief bre^k ^nd then come b^ck to it, perh^ps? M^ybe your m^tesprit could help. <:
HE caannot, saadly. I haave taakken aa breaakk, but it somehow does not eaase the pressure. SO I will simply haave to push through
:> Perh^ps h^ve some w^ter or ^ sn^ck on h^nd, ^t le^st. It won’t do ^ lot, but it c^n help ^ bit. <:
FUckkfuckkfuckkfuckkfuckk #vaagueposting I suppose
Hm? A phone call will not kill me. I have been known to make those at times.
YOu haave been kknown to do maany things, I aam aafraaid, not aall of them wise. BUt... I would aalso likke to heaar your voice
My line is encrypted, so do not worry. The call will be secure. I do not think that it is particularly unwise. I will find somewhere private to speak with you, however. Iksham is not above being annoying to people on the phone, also.
AAh, thaat is aa relief. THaankk you, I aappreciaate the reaassuraance
Of course. And I appreciate the care to ensure my safety. I will let you know when I am done... I am not sure how long this will take, I have much to sort through.
OF course, taakke your time. I still haave quite aa lot to do, too. THaankk you
Good luck with whatever keeps you busy, Lantan. We can discuss it when we call.
THaankk you, good luckk to you too. I hope the process will not be aas aarduous. I aam lookking forwaard to heaaring you
And I, you. It should be alright. Tedium is safer than danger. A bit of a process is fine.
I aam being so responsible right now aand I need everyone to kknow so I continue holding myself aaccountaable aand push through
THey waant me to pull my shit together aand stop being self-destructive. THis is not aa conspiraacy, "they" aare my loved ones aand they will succeed over my deaad body
the "dead tr@ll's" gambit, eh? @u< i respect that. @u@
UNspecified time building maateriaal
EScaapism aat its finest. BEcaause sleep does not require effort. EXcept for when it does. THough it does instill paaraalysing feaar, but whaat does not? I aam so good aat being coherent #cw-mentaal-heaalth
I aam caapaable of being aa functionaal being aand I caan type emaails aand maakke caalls without throwing up with aanxiety #cw-emetophobiaa
Man, if I'm learnin' anythin' tonight, it'z that Green People Love Bugz! 💚 ˖⁺‧₊˚ 𓆦 ˚₊‧⁺˖
I haave aaskked for it, but I did not expect to immediaately be unaanimously designaated aa bottom. KEeping me humble. FOr aanyone wondering, I aam aa switch, but thaat waas aamusing nonetheless #suggestive #nsfw
I aam curious, do I seem likke more of aa top or aa bottom to people? #suggestive #nsfw
You have a rather sharp and brazen appearance, but your way of speaking is very softspoken and polite. :)
support the bros, shoot for the stars. but lets not forget reality while digging for those dreams!
THaat is aan aamusing waay to put it. IN aa waay, aa saandwich aand me aare not so different
id make a joke about fucking sandwiche's but given this is chittr people might think im serious
OH. THaat is interesting, thaankk you. I shaall mull it over
OH, but now I aam curious, I would likke to heaar it. NOw thaat you haave estaablished thaat you aare NOT being serious, praay tell, whaat jokke did you waant to maakke?
"both fuckable too"
OH my, I haave faar more common with saandwiches thaan I haave previously been led to believe
lmfao
I aam considering deaaling with my crestfaallen mood irresponsibly #substaances
I thinkk I aam going to fully give in to #yeaarning tonight
I caannot tell if listening to THe CRaane WIves is maakking me better or worse
MY body craaves sleep, it waants me to give into the velvety oblivion; my gaander bulbs burn aand my muscles aache. BUt the mind refuses, it is so intent on kkeeping me up
THe downside of haaving been shown aaffection is thaat I now kknow to miss it when I aam not getting aany. I reaally do need to get aa weighted blaankket, preferaably severaal #yeaarning
:> ? I do not underst^nd the problem. Nothing wrong with getting used to nice things. Sure, something could h^ppen, it could bre^k or wh^tever, but it's still ^ nice thing to h^ve for however long it l^sts. And you c^n get ^nother one, they're not r^re or ^nything. <:
I suppose you aare right. IT merely feels wrong, to aallow myself nice things, but I suppose... WHo caan stop me?
AA heaavy stretch of faabric you maay draape over yourself. IT feels grounding aand caalming
:> It's not inherently wrong. Or right. It's ^n entirely neutr^l ^ct. Doing something nice for yourself is just ^nother choice to m^ke. Person^lly, I s^y it's ^ pr^ctic^l one if it e^ses existence ^ little. There is no prize for suffering, or for depriving yourself of comfort. <:
I do reaalise thaat. I will get over my repulsion aand try it out, I thinkk. MY clinginess is stronger thaan me