♣ mediated by @windyTrickster

it could be game of thrones

jade loves me unlike you ungrateful

😢 🕶️🤏

just say you hate me and want me to die

i think you mean cool as fuck and super impressive

i love when i do some shit and jman looks at me like ive grown a second head it fuels me
NO ONE SHOULD BE STEPPING FOOT IN A TELEPORTER IF IT'S CACOPHONIZING LIKE THAT.

🍀💪>🐀

what did you think i was smirking about

adorable

thanks im the best objectively anyway why are you a troll now when did that happen

spectacular bit

well yeah probably but i was actually talking about johns dad

my bro has what that bro wants and i think thats really funny

repost just cuz i forgot abt this shit im literally so hot and for what

beautiful women only want me for my caterpillar beautiful men also

#ericcarlestyle

anyway i decided not to go tomorrow cuz its gonna be annoying enough getting my hair back to normal without adding a full day's time to it so #lol #outglutmasquerade #ishavedforthisyourewelcome

in case any of you are worried about the stache dont be itll be back by morn 🫰

i've been staying at bro's place for days straight. i should live with him atp.
I'm sorry to interrupt this wholesome moment, but I want to kick the shit out of that picture.

i like how defensive you are about the dark lord wanting you you want to be wanted by the dark lord john? you want to be kept by the dark lord?

yeah he gave you back

iykyk

i am literally only like 5'10

i have a rock with your name on it

God I've been trying to seduce his dad, but the guy has been on business trips like fuckin crazy, for some reason.

anyway i aint even need to ask who want me 😎 😉🕶️🤏 😎

man maybe I need to go to the nearest gay bar and lock down a leather daddy #icouldusethestressrelief #nsfw #sortof #kinkmentionatleast

any other gt dirks wanna get on that for the sake of the timeline just boop gone and done hes free and were free and all is well

your egbert looks gnc af

good fucking luck

and ill do it again probably

nevermind kys

(*ᵕ_ᵕ)⁾⁾ 🐀

his ego is gonna explode

they wont me jman

i got them egberts crawling all over me like flies on molasses

im right

anyway on a side note when im in my 40s if i dont look like one of them scrungly redneck dads thats strangely irresistible to gay men in their late 20s early 30s im doing something wrong

I would just like to watch movies with you sometime!

Oh nothing. Absolutely not related to whatever thing you may or may not be refusing to reckon with.

john never told me the secret

thank god youre straight*

never thought id say this but thank god bro likes older men

yknow i joked about gettin down w johns dad before i dropped the truth abt brodad but at least the inverse was never a risk

bite bite smacka you

i am caveman with a rock i will get

gun

ill kill you

die maybe

and you think because you land on their spaces by pure chance this absolves you of your crimes? jail jail for johnathaniel windsockamin forever

okay mr literally steals 500$ from women

notorious misogynist johnathaniel windsockamin

dont make it weird man

i know i just said i was done bullying you but one last one before i go you made it super lame but i do kind of agree mostly you made it lame

the dadbro lore icymi

hey remember when i dropped the dadbro lore

its a lot different reading the words online than it is to witness a grown ass man call a strangers dog a heckin good pupper to their face out loud with his mouth

dont do this girl he doesnt deserve it

theres im a grown ass man and theres grown ass man btw and well

it was bad so hows things man
your-caste? ♥:-lowblood ♠:-midblood ♦:-highblood ♣:-off-color/other
hot-drink-of-choice? ♥:-coffee ♠:-hot-chocolate ♦:-tea ♣:-cider

its just you cant miss your shitty on again off again if youre dancing is all

you didnt screw everything up johnathan your relationship is working the way it was designed to which is to say its really not working i mean

maybe its time you learned how again lol the fallacy in 'sunk cost fallacy' is load bearing btw

so glad i had my messy breakup phase in my early 20s i think if i was still having messy relationship drama at my grown ass age id jump

wym this is like peak bro behavior

david stawp torturin the poor boy, u kno that aint proper step-dad behavior 😤
V10: Ask if his dad wants any.

bro he wants his dad to be sad thats fucked up #iykyk

also idk it feels mean to try and split them bros been like actually happy and normalish

he makes your dad laugh

sorry brobro youre a strider now

stepbrothers (2008)

imagine how i feel

he has no idea i see his dad more than he does

lol

on that grind like

anyway im boutta get this cougar pray for me

nana's gonna beat your ass

Johnathan Montgomery Egbert's dating requirements as follows: - mean to him and everyone around him - emotionally unstable - childhood history of toxic and manipulative behavior NONNEGOTIABLE - must be willing to enable denial about being 31 human years old - must be willing to play superhero (see above)

i know your dating requirements but i fear if i said them on the timeline youd shatter apart

JOHNATHAN MONTGOMERY EGBERT

i mean did yall actually even actually talk about terms of the taking a break or did she just text you dead a night and go i need a break and not answer any of your followup texts and consequent phone calls

other me can cry about it all he wants. it's a good mustache. :)

it's really flattering that you think i can explain it but i think what makes the moustache gay in this case is how well groomed it is. like it's not just a "i don't feel like shaving" moustache or a "i wanna look interesting" one. it's like, a feature you are actually trying to make look good. (it works.)

@gadaboutTrickster sorry for the tag jinxie i think you might be the only one who can manage this one

oh, honey

Maybe we do need to blow New Jersey up.

hashtag my universally beloved mustache

like bro cmon chicks and dicks dig the stache burt reynolds was hot as fuck get on this shit

chat i think my bestie might be a prude this is so sad alexa play sexyback by my good pal JT

sometimes you gotta rock out with your cock out man, aint nothing sexual about it

#notsorry #thatsonyoubuddy

@windyTrickster oh johnny boy~

shame about sootnose, she could hawve a real cute rosiee the riwvetickler thing going on. thatd be thematic, right? but yeah, fef vwins this match of #cronusbabeoff. surprise surprise. next up! an interesting match. assigned femme fatale by sgrub, or evweryones fawvorite jerk-88 #nsfvw, vwevwe got snovwman, also knowvn as the black queen, and probably some other dumb bq title, going up against wvriska serket! wvriskas a pretty high seed, but i think theres a chance for snovwman if she gets enough (hired) goons behind her. <3 or <> for snovwman <3< or c3< for wvriska serket

>> ¡'m ડorry, ¡ d¡d aડડume you were 1¡ke a baj¡11¡on ડweepડ o1d 1o1o1 ¡ ડee ¡t now tho!!

i stand by it. not everyone needs a babyface forever.

it's a really cute look.

john don't look. anyway i really like asparagus but like why does it do that when you eat it


