#treat
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ: @jade woof Bark Bark Woof #therewasatimewhereididntletmywhimsyshow #ispentsomuchtime #somuchtime #justtryingtojustifyappearances #justtryingtojustifywhoiam #iamdead #iliveinmymemories #alternatesofmyselveshavedaughters #daughtersthey #treat #like #dirt. #whywouldtheydothat #ijust #idontknow #whyaretheyallowedtolive #whyaretheyallowedtogoaround #andpretend #likeeverythingisfine #andbepiecesoftrashaboutit. #irememberbeingakid #irememberthinking #ifijustsmiledharder #ifijustwaggedmytailharder #ifijustmadeeveryonefeelokay #thenmaybe #maybe #maybe #maybe #they...Read more
#alternatesofmyselveshavedaughters#sohowdarethey#thatisthepartthatmakesmeteethsharp#iknowimnotfair#andyoustaygoodbecauseyounevergetthechance#becauseidid#well#itdidntitdidntitdidnt#becauseijustifiedit#busy#andtheyarealive#isthatwhyiamstillhere#ispentsomuchtime#somuchtime#thisishowjadesget#isntthatsofunnyyoucouldbark#thegirlwhomadefriendswithcorpsesandcomputers#notwheniseethemgivenlives#becausewhimsywasnotweakness#iknowthat#decideditwasannoying#ordesperate#whyaretheyallowedtogoaround#andtheyholdthosechildrenlikeburdens#becauseitwaseasiertobelievepainhadapoint#andthenapparently#myproofthattherewasstillagirlinthehouse#someversionofmegotone#liketheuniversegavethemsomethingsoft#notwheniseethem#beingaloneontheislanddidnotmakemebetter#ijust#thatisthethingnoonetellsyouaboutimmortality#andchildren#butstill#togrowintotheworstversionofyourself#anotherbranchonatreealreadyrottingfromtheroot#thegirlwiththedogears#thisishowthingshappenwhentheworldkeepsgoing#thegirlwhocouldfoldspace#daughtersthey#myhistory#anothertimeline#thisishowjadeis#justtryingtojustifywhoiam#becauseiwastherayofsunshine#like#iamdead#myvoice#idontknow#andtheygettomaketheirbadchoiceswithwarmblood#justwantedafamily#irememberbeingakid#howaloneiwas#likemistakes#sometimesyoudie#becauseiwasfun#andrealbreath#ifijustmadeeveryonefeelokay#andbeinglonelydoesnotmakeagirlkind#thenmaybe#itwasalwaysfine#pettingghostdogsthatarenotevenmineanymore#andthought#likeeverythingisfine#itmade#softthingsareforsqueezinguntiltheystopmakingnoise#isntthatfunny#whichisapparentlythesamethingifcanongetsitsway#dirt#itcanlearn#maybewecalledneglectcharacterdevelopment#andlookedatit#thegirlwholovedsomuchshecouldmoveplanets#iknowpeoplebreakinuglyways#sometimesdeathistheonlythingthatpreservesyou#andpretend#maybeweallmistookourlonelinessfortraining#maybe#maybewealllookedbackatthetower#orchildish#becauseiwasafraiditwouldlookstupid#theworldkeptgoingwithoutmeonce#thegirlwhowasraisedbyamonsterandsatellites#ifijustsmiledharder#whyaretheyallowedtowearmyfaceandforgetthethingsisweartoneverforget#maybeallofuslearnedthewronglessonfromsurviving#notalways#myhands#chewingonoldsunlight#ijustwantedafamily#ihavewatchedmyselfbecomecruel#whyaretheyallowedtolive#andrealconsequences#andnowiamdead#idontknowidontknowidontknow#theywouldntnotice#ifijustwaggedmytailharder#irememberthinking#likeitsjustanotherdoor#andhomes#howdaretheyturnthatgirlintoanexcuse#butitdidnt#whyaretheyallowed#howdaretheysay#andthatwasfine#pretendingeverybubbleisntjustanotherroominmytower#therewasatimewhereididntletmywhimsyshow#thatwasall#somewhen#andthenactlikejadeharleywasalwaysgoingtobeacurse#decidedalittlegirlcouldsurvivebeingignored#andthenwalkawayfromthem#stillagirlunderthegrief#orwhateverstupidwordtheyusewhenpeopleareallowedtohurtforeverandcallitnarrativeweight#whywouldtheydothat#becauseiwasthegirlwiththegun#itmadeherstrongdidntit#whyaretheyallowedtoliveinaworldwherejadesurvived#andnoneofmyshame#becauseiwasuseful#treat#iknowmotherhooddoesnotpurifyanyone#andbeingagoddoesnotmakeagirlgood#isthatwhythismegetsfloataroundinmemoryfoam#whyaretheyallowedtohaveadaughterandnotlookatherlikeamiracle#justtryingtojustifyappearances#likeproofthatsomethingwentwrong#itwasfine#andtheydecided#thegirlwhocouldfixthings#butidonotsmilehere#andthenilearnedtoshowitanyway#anddecideditwasanobligation#walkingaroundwithmyface#thatisthepartthatmakesmethinkthingsiwouldneverhavesaidalive#notwheniseetheothermes#itwasmyflag#myflare#orcanon#andstillcomeoutsmiling#somewhere#iliveinmymemories#andbepiecesoftrashaboutit#orliketheonlylanguageihadleft#thegirlwhocouldbeleftaloneforlongerthaneveryoneelse#stillagirlunderthegodhood
Kult: +14
Kull: +12
Total: 26
Ratio: 1.17
i can have a drink as a #treat for being so normal today #substances