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[ >AKRAVI, LAW ABIDING EVIL WIZARD_ ]
@arenaceousAlchemy
[ >TRY MINE SINISTER POTION_ ] [ >ALCHEMIST, EVIL WIZARD, MIXOLOGIST, AND MORE_ ] [ >NONBINARY. ANY PRONOUNS. FUCKETH WITH ME_ ] [ >MINE "DMS" ARE OPEN TO ALL_ ] ( pfp - sweetstack @AF )
[ >THE WIZARD CAN FEELETH ITS ENERGY ELIXIR WANING. THOU KNOWETH WHAT THAT MEANS! FIVE. HUNDRED. STIMULANTS._ ]
Goddamn. You don't think a can of energy drink would cut it would you?
[ >THE WIZARD FINDS THE RESULT MOST INTERESTING! HTTPS://IMAGES.SQUIDGE.ORG/IMAGES/2026/08/12/SOUL-BRV.PNG_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD APOLOGIZES FOR HEXING THEE BUT IT DOTH LIKE LITERALLY BE MINE SPECIAL INTEREST TO CURSE HEX AND VEX SO MAYHAPS BE MORE MINDFUL?_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD LOOKETH LEFT. THE WIZARD LOOKETH RIGHT. THE WIZARD STARETH THEE DOWN AND BLASTETH THEE WITH MAGIC MISSILE_ ]
ꙮw. - The Mystical Potion Seller Guy Man
[ >GETTING MINE LUSUS TO GIVETH THE WIZARD A HEARTY THWACK UPON ITS POSTURE POLE KNOCKING EACH AND EVERY STIFF PLATE AND CONNECTOR BACK INTO PLACE #WIZARDLIFE #WIZARDSTRUGGLES #FELLASLEEPATTHECAULDRONAGAIN_ ]
[ >WAIT SINCE WHEN DID THE WIZARD ACQUIRE 71 FOLLOWERS. THAT DOTH BE CLOSER TO 100 THAN NOT_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD PUTS THEE INTO A CENTRIFUGE AND SPINS THEE AT 3000 RPM FOR 10 MINUTES_ ]
Oh nooooo I am condensed down to a large pellet at the bottom of the tube...
Finally. #serene
[ >TAKES YOU OUT OF THE CENTRIFUGE AND PUTS THEE INTO THE SUB-ZERO THERMAL HULL_ ]
[ >MINE PAGE IS NOT A "SAFE SPACE." THERE ARE NUMEROUS WARDS RUNES AND TRAPS SET UPON MINE DOMAIN THAT WILL MAKETH THEE EVAPORATE INTO NAUGHT BUT DUST OR BURNETH THEE TO A CRISP_ ]
[ >CASTS A FUCKING SPELL ON THY FEED_ ]
[ >IF THOU EVER FEEL SAFE JUST REMEMBERETH THAT THE WIZARD IS OUT THERE :::}_ ]
[ >EXPLOSION AT HEALTH POTION LABORATERROR; 0 DEAD, 0 INJURED_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD WOULD LIKE TO REMINDETH YE ALL TO RISE FROM THY HUSKS OF PALM AND HUSKS OF LAP ONTO THY STRUTPODS AND DO A BIG STRETCH AND CONSUMETH THE BLESSED ELIXIR KNOWN AS "ICE WATER." #WIZARDTIPS #WIZARDLIFE_ ]
Y☆U HE𖤐RD THE WIZ𖤐RD Y☆U GUYS DRINK S☆ME W𖤐TER ⋆｡°✩
[ >YET ANOTHER IMBICILIC GOREGASH DELIVERYTROLL IGNORED MINE INSTRUCTIONS AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO MY RUNES_ ]
[ >THANKFULLY MY ORDER WAS SPARED BY MY RUNES. THE WIZARD SHALL NOT GO SANDWICHLESS TONIGHT_ ]
[ >HIGH LEVEL CHAIN LIGHTNING FUCKETH THEE ⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡_ ]
[ >OH FUCKING CONFOUND IT ALL THE SKELETONS ARE BACK_ ]
[ >WATCH WHERE THOU STEPPETH WITHIN THE WIZARDS ABODE LEST THOU WISHETH THY IMMORTAL SOUL TO BE REDUCED TO NAUGHT BUT ASHES AND FOR THE WIZARD (THAT WOULD BE I, AKRAVI CASTENAME, LAW ABIDING EVIL WIZARD) TO KEEPETH THY HUSK ANIMATED FOR FUN_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD FELT CUTE, MAY DELETETH LATER, ORB HATH NOT REVEALED THE PATH AHEAD HTTPS://IMAGES.SQUIDGE.ORG/IMAGES/2026/07/27/AKRAVI.PNG_ ]
((OOC: by sweetstack on artfight!!))
[ >OUUUH_ ]
[ >I DO BE MOST JOYOUS TO REPORTETH THAT THE WIZARD HATH TAKEN HER MEDICATIONS AND IS FRANKLY OVER THE MOONS ABOUT FEELING IT KICK IN. THE WIZARD CASTEH POWER WORD: ADDERALL HTTPS://MEDIA1.TENOR.COM/M/SVBE3FIZHJKAAAAD/WIZARD-MAGIC-BOOK.GIF_ ]
[ >MANY WONDER AND PONDER AND ASKETH THE WIZARD, "WIZARD, WHAT DOTH BE GOING ABOUTS WITH THY GENDER? WHAT ART THOU?" TO WHICH I ANSWER, DEAREST PONDERERS, THE WIZARD IS WHATEVER IS MOST HUMOROUS OR MOST CONVENIENT AT THAT POINT IN TIME! FOR I AM OPERATING ON PLANES THOU CAN ONLY WISHETH TO PERCEIVE AND COMPREHENDETH_ ]