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[ >AKRAVI, LAW ABIDING EVIL WIZARD_ ]
@arenaceousAlchemy
[ >TRY MINE SINISTER POTION_ ] [ >ALCHEMIST, EVIL WIZARD, MIXOLOGIST, AND MORE_ ] [ >NONBINARY. ANY PRONOUNS. FUCKETH WITH ME_ ] [ >MINE "DMS" ARE OPEN TO ALL_ ]
[ >A TRUTHBERRY MAY MAKETH THEE TELL THE TRUTH, BUT A LIEBERRY? WELL... A LIEBERRY WILL LOANETH THOU BOOKS! MUCH TO CONSIDER!_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD DOTH DECREE: TROLL KWIKTRIP MACARONI AND CHEESE (FOR CLARITY: THE ONE YOU TAKE TO THY ABODE AND HEAT UP) IS MUCH BETTER THAN I HAD ANTICIPATED_ ]
[ >GOD FORBID A WIZARD POSTETH ABOUT SOMETHING DELECTABLE_ ]
[ >AND SO BEGINETH THE WIZARD'S GREATEST CHALLENGE YET: HUGE BREAKFAST OF FIVE RAISIN_ ]
[ >THOU HAST NO IDEA HOW MUCH A SINGLE RAISIN CAN FILL ONE TROLL'S ACID TRACT_ ]
* i had three burgers with loaded fries chicken fingers and a couple sodas for lunch yesterday i think i would feel quite peckish after a single raisin
⚗ if you are TRUE to the nature of a raisin, then even TEN should not 🝭efuddle a wizard. though there are SOME ways to get past this, su☾h as SHRINKING. them. down. 🝭y ☾hants OR mixtures, if you wish to live without understanding their. true. NATURE.
[ >PERHAPS THE WIZARD SHOULD NOT HAVE IMBIBED IN SO MANY ELIXIRS THE NIGHT YESTER... #SUFFERING_ ]
[ >FIVE RAISINS!? THOU ART A MADMAN OF UTMOST LUNACY, BUT THE WIZARD IS NEVER ONE TO BACKETH DOWN FROM A CHALLENGE..._ ]
[ >OOOUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #WIZARDSTRUGGLES_ ]
[ >ANYWAY HALF-WITTED IMBECILES AND CHURLISH CURS ASIDE. HOW ART THE REST OF THOU FARING THIS EVENING. HAS ANYTHING EXCITING OCCURRED WITHIN THY LIVES? THE WIZARD WOULD LIKETH TO HEAR_ ]
[ >THE SANDSTORM AND ITS ACCOMPANIMENT OF RESTLESS VIOLENT UNDEAD HATH BEEN ON ITS WAY OUT SINCE APPROXIMATELY ONE HOUR AGO, THE WIZARD SIMPLY CANNOT WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN IN HALF A SWEEP. NOW COMETH THE WORST PART: CLEAN UP >:::{_ ]
[ >I SHOULD SMITETH THEE DOWN ON THE SPOT FOR DARING TO MAKETH SUCH A VILE ACIDTRACT CHURNING COMPARISON. ME, THE HUMBLE AND LAW-ABIDING EVIL WIZARD, COMPARED TO THAT DISGUSTING JUVENILE UNPROFESSIONAL WRETCH? NOT TO MENTION THAT HAPLESS CUR'S HALF-WITTED IMBECILIC CREATOR? LIKE COME THE FUCK ON NOW. YOU COULD HAVE AT THE VERY LEAST CALLED ME A BUDGET TROLL GANDALF. THAT WOULD HAVE AT LEAST BEEN FUNNY!_ ]
.youre righT .troll harry potter is too good for yoU .unfunny magical trevoR .with zero whipS .and zero moo beastS .and absolutely no ragU
[ >BLAH BLAH BLAH HIGH LEVEL CHAIN LIGHTNING FUCKETH THEE 🧙♂️⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡ HTTPS://MEDIA1.TENOR.COM/M/SVBE3FIZHJKAAAAD/WIZARD-MAGIC-BOOK.GIF_ ]
[ >WHAT THEY DON'T TELLETH THEE ABOUT SLAYING THE UNDEAD IS ITS A FUN AND SAFE AND LAW-ABIDING THRILL_ ]
[ >MANY MIGHT ASK, "WIZARD, WHERE HATH THOU BEEN AS OF LATE? ART THOU ABANDONING US, THY LOYAL FOLLOWERS?" TO WHICH I ANSWERETH, NAY, NAY AT ALL! YOU SEE, THERE HAS BEEN A, LIKE, TOTALLY FUCKING NASTY SAND STORM PLAGUING MINE LOCATION, SO MINE FOCUS HAS BEEN UPON THAT AND SLAYING THE GODS FORSAKEN SHADOWDROPPERS THAT CRAWL OUT FROM THE WASTES UPON THIS STORMY HOUR. ALSO MINE RECEPTION HATH BEEN UTTER BARKFIENDSHIT UPON THE ARRIVAL OF THE STORM. ANYHOW, THAT HATH BEEN HOW MINE LIFE DOTH BE GOING #WIZARDLIFE #WIZARDSTRUGGLES_ ]
[ >DARE I ASKETH WHY THE FEED IS EXPLODING THIS TIME OR SHALL I CONTINUE LIVING IN BLESS-ED IGNORANCE AND RETURN TO BLOWING UP MINE OWN STUFF?_ ]
Ɏ when a-a-a lot of loud things ha-a-appen i usua-a-ally zone out a-a-and sta-a-art pla-a-acing blocks a-a-and shit instea-a-ad Ɏ
[ >OH BY GREAT TROLL MERLINS POINTY HAT, THE WIZARD HATH BEEN GIVEN A GHOSTLY-LOOKING BADGE WITHOUT NOTICE. THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT OF MINE LIFE! MINE POWER GROWS TENFOLD!_ ]
[ >#NOWPLAYING #NOWLISTENING #WIZARDTUNES HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=G2KSG6ETR4U_ ]
[ >AFTER INGESTING SOME OF THAT GOOD SHIT THE WIZARD DOTH BE FARING BETTER THAN THE NIGHT YESTER. HAVE THOU EVER THE CLUTCHES OF INSANITY GRIPPING AT THY THINKSPONGE ALL ON ACCOUNT OF THE HORRORS TO COME? ME NEITHER :::} #SUBSTANCE_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD DOTH BE FUCKING GROANING AND SIGHING #WIZARDSTRUGGLES_ ]
[ >TRULY IF THOU ART HAVING ISSUES WITH THY RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT HESITATE TO VISIT MY STALL AT THE MARKET AS I CAN, LIKE, PROBABLY HOOKETH THOU UP WITH A BREW OR PERHAPS ELIXIR TO AID THEE IN THY LACK OF CHARISMA AND CHARM LOLE_ ]
[ >AH HAH, I HATH THOUGHT SOMETHING FELT... UNUSUAL ABOUT THE WEBBED SITE SINCE MINE LAST VENTURE. THE FONT HATH MORPHED INTO A NEW FORM_ ]
[ >ANYHOW EVILEST MORNING TO YE ALL_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD REMAIN FIRM ON HER OPINION THAT THIS DOTH BE THE BEST TIME TO BE UPON THIS DIGITAL REALM. A PERFECT AMOUNT OF PEOPLE AND THE FEED DOES NOT PASS SO QUICKLY_ ]
[ >#WIZARDADIVCE #WIZARDFACTS #WIZARDLIFE #EVILWIZARD #WIZARDTRUTH HTTPS://64.MEDIA.TUMBLR.COM/6075A730D08D261AFE9BFBF9560D24F3/7279948D9ED7A297-8D/S1280X1920/81F530F89EA69B860E7D03178FEE58322BA519C7.JPG_ ]
[ >GOD. WHATEVER. CONFOUND IT ALL. ENGAGEMENT BAIT HORNY POST HERE. FUCKETH EVERYONE. #NSFW_ ]