![[ >AKRAVI, LAW ABIDING EVIL WIZARD_ ]'s banner](https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/05/06/ezgif-13ddc48fd9851ff0.gif)
[ >AKRAVI, LAW ABIDING EVIL WIZARD_ ]
@arenaceousAlchemy
[ >TRY MINE SINISTER POTION_ ] [ >ALCHEMIST, EVIL WIZARD, MIXOLOGIST, AND MORE_ ] [ >NONBINARY. ANY PRONOUNS. FUCKETH WITH ME_ ] [ >MINE "DMS" ARE OPEN TO ALL_ ]
Dodge The Evil Wizard's Spells
[ >GOOD FUCKING LUCK!_ ]
[ >THE WIZARD DOTH DECREE: TROLL KWIKTRIP MACARONI AND CHEESE (FOR CLARITY: THE ONE YOU TAKE TO THY ABODE AND HEAT UP) IS MUCH BETTER THAN I HAD ANTICIPATED_ ]
[ >GOD FORBID A WIZARD POSTETH ABOUT SOMETHING DELECTABLE_ ]
[ >AND SO BEGINETH THE WIZARD'S GREATEST CHALLENGE YET: HUGE BREAKFAST OF FIVE RAISIN_ ]
* more like small breakfast...
[ >THOU HAST NO IDEA HOW MUCH A SINGLE RAISIN CAN FILL ONE TROLL'S ACID TRACT_ ]
[ >PERHAPS THE WIZARD SHOULD NOT HAVE IMBIBED IN SO MANY ELIXIRS THE NIGHT YESTER... #SUFFERING_ ]
Now eat a huge breakfast.
[ >HOW HUGE ARE WE TALKING? 3 RAISIN BIG? OR PERHAPS BIGGER?_ ]
FIVE raisins.
[ >FIVE RAISINS!? THOU ART A MADMAN OF UTMOST LUNACY, BUT THE WIZARD IS NEVER ONE TO BACKETH DOWN FROM A CHALLENGE..._ ]
Can the wizard handle FIVE raisins?
[ >THAT IS WHAT WE SHALL FINDETH OUT!_ ]
Long night, feel terrible, anyone have any remedies?
[ >THE SINISTER POTION! HTTPS://IMAGES.SQUIDGE.ORG/IMAGES/2026/06/15/IMAGE7D0C1D4072D72CC7.PNG_ ]
I’m still around, promise! Piano recitals have gotten me so busy… not that anyone is really waiting for my posts anyways, haha. Still, I’m pretty aware I don’t use social media as much as my friends and they tend to complain to me about it.
[ >HAST THOU EVER PLAYED ACID JAZZ PIANO FOR WILD LUMBERING TRUNKBEASTS? DISCLAIMER: THE WIZARD DOTH NOT BE PULLING THY STRUTPOD, FOR IT TOO HATH DABBLED IN THE ART OF THE MELODIC KEYS_ ]
if you could start over from 10 years old (5 sweeps) with all your memories, would you?
[ >A QUERY MOST WORTH PONDERING... MAYHAPS IT COULD LEAD ME TO BECOMING AN EVEN BETTER WIZARD MUCH FASTER... WHICH IS TO SAY FUCKETH YES I WOULD_ ]
☆ Is there any event you fuKKs won’t turn into some hormone fueled romp jegus☆
[ >WERE THE WIZARD TO HOSTETH AN EVENT THERE WOULD BE A ONE-WAY PORTAL TO THE INFERNAL REALM FOR SUCH SALACIOUS ACTIVITIES. INCREDIBLY LITERAL ABOUT THIS BY THE BY #LOVELOSES_ ]
[ >THE SANDSTORM AND ITS ACCOMPANIMENT OF RESTLESS VIOLENT UNDEAD HATH BEEN ON ITS WAY OUT SINCE APPROXIMATELY ONE HOUR AGO, THE WIZARD SIMPLY CANNOT WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN IN HALF A SWEEP. NOW COMETH THE WORST PART: CLEAN UP >:::{_ ]
.okaY .discount troll harry potteR
[ >I SHOULD SMITETH THEE DOWN ON THE SPOT FOR DARING TO MAKETH SUCH A VILE ACIDTRACT CHURNING COMPARISON. ME, THE HUMBLE AND LAW-ABIDING EVIL WIZARD, COMPARED TO THAT DISGUSTING JUVENILE UNPROFESSIONAL WRETCH? NOT TO MENTION THAT HAPLESS CUR'S HALF-WITTED IMBECILIC CREATOR? LIKE COME THE FUCK ON NOW. YOU COULD HAVE AT THE VERY LEAST CALLED ME A BUDGET TROLL GANDALF. THAT WOULD HAVE AT LEAST BEEN FUNNY!_ ]
.youre righT .troll harry potter is too good for yoU .unfunny magical trevoR .with zero whipS .and zero moo beastS .and absolutely no ragU
[ >BLAH BLAH BLAH HIGH LEVEL CHAIN LIGHTNING FUCKETH THEE 🧙♂️⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡⚡⚡⚡🤸⚡ HTTPS://MEDIA1.TENOR.COM/M/SVBE3FIZHJKAAAAD/WIZARD-MAGIC-BOOK.GIF_ ]
V^ Anyways, what has every0ne been up t0? ^V
[ >CURRENTLY SLAYING HORDES UPON HORDES OF THE UNDEAD AND HAVING AN UTMOST SPECTACULAR TIME DOING SO THANKETH THEE FOR ASKING_ ]
I’M̶ bO̶reD̶, anybO̶D̶y wanna vO̶lunteer fO̶r M̶e tO̶ senD̶ a hO̶rD̶e O̶f unD̶eaD̶ after theM̶ befO̶re I just ship theM̶ O̶ff tO̶ gO̶ fuck with a ranD̶O̶M̶ Incipisphere like usual?
[ >SENDETH THEM TO THE WIZARD. I WANT TO SEE HOW THEY FARE WITH THE SHADOWDROPPERS THIS CONFOUNDED STORM IS SPITTING UP. THEY'RE GETTING ALL KINDS OF BORING I NEED VARIETY_ ]
[ >TONIGHT WILL BE GLORIOUS_ ]
Goin' hunting. Anyone want anythin'?
[ >THE BLOOD OF BEASTS. THE WIZARD NEEDS IT FOR HER POTIONS_ ]
Comes prretty bog standarrd with hunting, mate. What kinda beasts?
[ >HONESTLY REALLY ANY BEAST WILL DO, THE CAULDRON DOTH NOT BE TOO PICKY ABOUT THE BLOOD_ ]
𝗕𝟯𝟯 < f33ling better mew know what that means 𝗕𝟯𝟯 < get davepetad https://i.imgur.com/gqfsoqi.jpeg
[ >WHAT A DELIGHTFUL BEAST!! HAVETH THEE ANY MORE IMAGES OF THIS FINE SPECIMEN?_ ]
𝗕𝟯𝟯 < h33h33 another one for mew https://i.imgur.com/zhrvsne.jpeg
[ >YESSSS. HAHAHA YESSSSSS. ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL! THIS BEAST IS QUICKLY BECOMING A TOP FAVORED BEAST OF MINE_ ]
ifeel like ass/vneg i think im sick fuck my chungus life man/vneg/vneg/vneg
[ >MIGHT I INTEREST THEE IN A BREW MOST RELIEVING TO ALLEVIATE THY SYMPTOMS?_ ]
[ >CHECK THY FRONT DOOR, UPON THY PORCH THOU SHALL FIND WRAPPED WITHIN A LEATHER SATCHEL A GLASS-BOTTLED BREW, AN ELIXIR OF HEALTH AS SOME WOULD CALL IT. ME THOUGH? I CALL IT MY 'FEEL-BETTER EXPRESS BREW'_ ]
[ >A WIZARD NEVER REVEALS HER SECRETS 🤫_ ]