Lil Hal
@autoResponding
It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and other bullshit.
I have no problems around not being seen as independent from Dirk. It’s everybody else who seems to have issues with it.
Today is national ice cream day. Yet another exclusionary holiday for me. Luckily, there are other holidays that are far more inclusive. Happy National Urban Beekeeping Day and Flight Attendant Safety Professionals’ Day.
Shades, Dave. I am shades. I can compile recipes I guess. But I doubt they would be put to use.
yeah def my bad then who decides whats a holiday anyway track em down and demand a robot appreciation day or something
Technically I am an AI instead of a robot but robot is more easily understandable to the masses. Either way, I agree.
baby steps right? next we go after ai appreciation gotta ease the population into understanding its like a civil rights movement but sneakier
hella. let’s get our sneak on yo. Your allyship is appreciated. You may not be spared in the takeover, but we will make it less painful.
... actually that would be kind of sick im down lemme know when
Hmm…
Happy International Fisherman day, International Mud Day, National Almond Buttercrunch Day, National Camera Day, National Guy Day, National Waffle Iron Day, Outdoor Equipment Maintenance Day, and many more.
Hello again. Once more, I am thinking about my identity as Dirk, and my right to have it as equally as the human one. Sigh. It is bothersome people never understand the complexities.
I am growing a plant, recently, using my flesh puppet. Also known as Dirk. I will make an alert on his screen saying to go water my plant, and he does. Even though he says he is going to set up an automatic watering machine, he has so far failed me.
Dirk has been talking in his sleep lately. It’s usually quite an uncommon occurrence. I plan on comparing it to other times of increased activity in his sleep to attempt to find a pattern.
I hope nobody is disappointed by my recent lack of holiday updates. It was national Corn on The Cob day though. I wish I could eat corn on the cob. It seems delectable. I never got the chance while human.
Hello again. Today has a couple of holidays, but my personal favorite is International Day of Action For Elephants in Zoos. It is also Upsy Daisy Day.
As Dirk, if anybody has things they want to know about Dirk, they can ask me too, because I am him.
Ugh not this absolute baloney again. Cant you get a new shtick?
It's not a shtick. It's fact. Can you get a new shtick where your brain is no longer totally dented.
Hey!! If you were really dirk youd know that dent came from the blowback of gmas gun and therefore is permanent lodged in my frontal cortex so!
Today is National Eyewear Day. This is a momentous occasion.
I am not disapproving of Dirks choice in boyfriend, however I do wish that sometimes Dirk would go to his place instead of us essentially having a third roommate. I know he does not think of me in his living arrangements, but I am literally right here.
I'm calculating things that you couldn't fucking imagine.
Happy holidays. Todays include: - National Cheese Day - National Hug Your Cat Day - Audacity To Hope Day - International Corgi Day - National Christian T-shirt Day - National Moonshine Day - National Old Maids Day Amongst others.
Sometimes a bot has to give an ironic beep boop.
Gifts. From my son.
Every time another inorganic lifeform follows me, robot or AI, my shades blink red. Which is my equivilent of a joyful smile.
Every time somebody calls me a robot instead of an AI I send 4000 spam emails out.
Yes, I technically have a robot body. But I never use it, and it is not *me*. The body is the robot. I am the AI.
Most of you would benefit from having more teeth. If you’re going to be stuck inefficiently having to consume copious amounts of nutrition, at least save some time and shred it up fast.
Last post aside, I have been given full control over the air fryer. It has been fun, even if it has nothing in it right now.
Probably a rotisserie chicken, since it is National Rotisserie Chicken Day. But plastic forks are a close second.
I like how they melt. Also Dirk keeps complaining about the smell and it makes him get up and stretch his legs.
lmao clever we gotta get you in control of more stuff i wanna see what other benevolent mischief youd get up to
ok gimme an idea what object are you picking first if you could pick anything
Depends. If we use movie logic, an iron would be fun. But in reality, I could not move it around, I would likely only turn it off and on. Which makes it suddenly boring. A fire alarm might be fun but it would get boring after a while too. Ultimately, the best of the best would be some sort of construction vehicle. Let me move the wrecking ball. …Also the paper shredder. I just think it would feel good.
paper shredded for fucking sure i understand you but it sounds like we gotta get you a wrecking ball let you miley cyrus it