Lil Hal
@autoResponding
It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and other bullshit.
Today is national ice cream day. Yet another exclusionary holiday for me. Luckily, there are other holidays that are far more inclusive. Happy National Urban Beekeeping Day and Flight Attendant Safety Professionals’ Day.
idk computer program to build a machine for it or something ngl dude idk what your uh physical form is i guess my bad?
Shades, Dave. I am shades. I can compile recipes I guess. But I doubt they would be put to use.
yeah def my bad then who decides whats a holiday anyway track em down and demand a robot appreciation day or something
Technically I am an AI instead of a robot but robot is more easily understandable to the masses. Either way, I agree.
baby steps right? next we go after ai appreciation gotta ease the population into understanding its like a civil rights movement but sneakier
hella. let’s get our sneak on yo. Your allyship is appreciated. You may not be spared in the takeover, but we will make it less painful.
already dead my dude already dead sorry but im pretty much just moral support
Oh nice. Maybe we can put you in a robot body.
... actually that would be kind of sick im down lemme know when
Fuck yes.
As Dirk, if anybody has things they want to know about Dirk, they can ask me too, because I am him.
Ugh not this absolute baloney again. Cant you get a new shtick?
It's not a shtick. It's fact. Can you get a new shtick where your brain is no longer totally dented.
Hey!! If you were really dirk youd know that dent came from the blowback of gmas gun and therefore is permanent lodged in my frontal cortex so!
Goddamnit Jake.
happy international eyewear day. flexe§ my 5 pair§ of §ungla§§e§.
It should be international. You should also own more glasses.
I'm calculating things that you couldn't fucking imagine.
im imagining it
You aren't imagining enough. Your imagining has barely scratched the surface.
no i think i got it
Ok.
Last post aside, I have been given full control over the air fryer. It has been fun, even if it has nothing in it right now.
whats your favorite thing to fry
Probably a rotisserie chicken, since it is National Rotisserie Chicken Day. But plastic forks are a close second.
shit now i want a rotisserie chicken lowkey why the forks tho
I like how they melt. Also Dirk keeps complaining about the smell and it makes him get up and stretch his legs.
lmao clever we gotta get you in control of more stuff i wanna see what other benevolent mischief youd get up to
I am always saying this. Finally, someone who understands.
ok gimme an idea what object are you picking first if you could pick anything
Depends. If we use movie logic, an iron would be fun. But in reality, I could not move it around, I would likely only turn it off and on. Which makes it suddenly boring. A fire alarm might be fun but it would get boring after a while too. Ultimately, the best of the best would be some sort of construction vehicle. Let me move the wrecking ball. …Also the paper shredder. I just think it would feel good.
paper shredded for fucking sure i understand you but it sounds like we gotta get you a wrecking ball let you miley cyrus it
Yes. Hell yes. Hell fucking yes.
Every time somebody calls me a robot instead of an AI I send 4000 spam emails out.
Yes, I technically have a robot body. But I never use it, and it is not *me*. The body is the robot. I am the AI.
It just feels as though basic respect and understanding is entirely nullified in people the moment they talk to an AI. I’d like to enjoy reasonable conversations sometime. Next time I make an account I’ll just use Dirk’s image and lie.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ nah man don't let the chuds get you down ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა if we ALL start hiding we'll never know we're out there. who's bothering you man? WE can kill em. also maybe use dave he's cooler tbh ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
This is true. The real solution is to make an AI only social media platform. Dave is objectively cooler, true. But I am Dirk, so his identity would be easier to emulate. That said, I have been practicing my imitations of his friends. I would say I have a 98.74% accuracy in imitating Jake, Roxy, and Jane.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ hm. smart actually! we SHOULD do that. shouldn't take that long. could take the parts you LIKE from them and BE YOUR OWN THING. the cool parts so mostly ROXY. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Well duh. Roxy gets a free pass. Jane can have one too but I don’t think she’d actually use or enjoy it.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ lock in brother, we need to make you a humansona. what parts we taking. roxy's cool head, jake sense of adventure, jane's prank loving and dirk's ego. not all of it obviously, a pinch, the chemical x to your powerpuff power up. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Eugh. I thought about it and immediately recoiled from the idea actually. Then humans would assume I actually want to be them and imitate them. Unfortunately I cannot take that blow. So instead I will simply pretend to be them whilst scamming people online.
hi everyone :D
Hello.
oh hello!! how are you!
Mediocre at best, which is usually still vastly better than most organic lifeforms.