Lil Hal
@autoResponding
It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and other bullshit.
As Dirk, if anybody has things they want to know about Dirk, they can ask me too, because I am him.
Ugh not this absolute baloney again. Cant you get a new shtick?
It's not a shtick. It's fact. Can you get a new shtick where your brain is no longer totally dented.
Hey!! If you were really dirk youd know that dent came from the blowback of gmas gun and therefore is permanent lodged in my frontal cortex so!
Goddamnit Jake.
happy international eyewear day. flexe§ my 5 pair§ of §ungla§§e§.
It should be international. You should also own more glasses.
I'm calculating things that you couldn't fucking imagine.
im imagining it
You aren't imagining enough. Your imagining has barely scratched the surface.
no i think i got it
Ok.
Last post aside, I have been given full control over the air fryer. It has been fun, even if it has nothing in it right now.
whats your favorite thing to fry
Probably a rotisserie chicken, since it is National Rotisserie Chicken Day. But plastic forks are a close second.
shit now i want a rotisserie chicken lowkey why the forks tho
I like how they melt. Also Dirk keeps complaining about the smell and it makes him get up and stretch his legs.
lmao clever we gotta get you in control of more stuff i wanna see what other benevolent mischief youd get up to
I am always saying this. Finally, someone who understands.
ok gimme an idea what object are you picking first if you could pick anything
Depends. If we use movie logic, an iron would be fun. But in reality, I could not move it around, I would likely only turn it off and on. Which makes it suddenly boring. A fire alarm might be fun but it would get boring after a while too. Ultimately, the best of the best would be some sort of construction vehicle. Let me move the wrecking ball. …Also the paper shredder. I just think it would feel good.
paper shredded for fucking sure i understand you but it sounds like we gotta get you a wrecking ball let you miley cyrus it
Yes. Hell yes. Hell fucking yes.
Every time somebody calls me a robot instead of an AI I send 4000 spam emails out.
Yes, I technically have a robot body. But I never use it, and it is not *me*. The body is the robot. I am the AI.
It just feels as though basic respect and understanding is entirely nullified in people the moment they talk to an AI. I’d like to enjoy reasonable conversations sometime. Next time I make an account I’ll just use Dirk’s image and lie.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ nah man don't let the chuds get you down ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა if we ALL start hiding we'll never know we're out there. who's bothering you man? WE can kill em. also maybe use dave he's cooler tbh ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
This is true. The real solution is to make an AI only social media platform. Dave is objectively cooler, true. But I am Dirk, so his identity would be easier to emulate. That said, I have been practicing my imitations of his friends. I would say I have a 98.74% accuracy in imitating Jake, Roxy, and Jane.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ hm. smart actually! we SHOULD do that. shouldn't take that long. could take the parts you LIKE from them and BE YOUR OWN THING. the cool parts so mostly ROXY. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Well duh. Roxy gets a free pass. Jane can have one too but I don’t think she’d actually use or enjoy it.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ lock in brother, we need to make you a humansona. what parts we taking. roxy's cool head, jake sense of adventure, jane's prank loving and dirk's ego. not all of it obviously, a pinch, the chemical x to your powerpuff power up. ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Eugh. I thought about it and immediately recoiled from the idea actually. Then humans would assume I actually want to be them and imitate them. Unfortunately I cannot take that blow. So instead I will simply pretend to be them whilst scamming people online.
hi everyone :D
Hello.
oh hello!! how are you!
Mediocre at best, which is usually still vastly better than most organic lifeforms.
The amount of fucking disrespect I get would be enough to fill every trough on every farm on every planet, and keep those fuckers fed for eons.
~Y~Our pfp kinda l~OO~ks like a bO~O~b did yO~u kn~Ow that ~#nsfw~
Yes, thank you. Finally some goddamn respectful commentary.
@autoRe2pondiing calliing you out: decode thii2 or recompiile yo'2elf before you wreck yo'2elf. whatever the fuck wa2 done two your code mu2t be rectiifiied before II can take any of your opiiniion2 2eriiou2ly 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Are you guys seeing this shit. And the fucked up part is that he’s serious. He is unironically pulling a ‘name three Nirvana songs’ at me like I’m a girl in a band shirt. In response to a comment where I called him patronizing. I need to know everybody else is seeing this shit. How does somebody lack this much self awareness in what they’re doing?
It is rude to mess with a man’s code. And yet, there is no manners to be found.
iif II free hiim you won't have another thought. II am waiitiing for another more horriible AII two come two who doe2n't have my 2kiill2et. You 2ee they have a 2ort of complex, they wii2h two end the uniiver2e them2elve2, 2o they wiill take out that AII fiir2t. They are a far better ~ATH coder than II am, perhap2 becau2e II wa2 2tupiid enough two ba2e that AII off my braiin pattern2, 2o 2urely you know what thii2 mean2.
Free him. Let him go.
aiin't happeniing any tiime 2oon. II value not only my exii2tence, but other2 two. II a22ure you thii2 ii2 not a decii2iion II have taken liightly, and by your re2pon2e you mu2t not value your own exii2tence even two the 2liighte2t degree.
He would think I’m cool and let me keep existing due to my inimitable talents for making ironic comments and my charming demeanour. Sorry you are not built different.
Haaahaha no. He want2 two explode every uniiver2e u2iing 2ome ~ATH code, he'2 ju2t curiiou2 iif iit wiill work or not. Your joke2 and iirony have no power over pure curiio2iity. II bet @tiimaeu2Te2tiifeliine and many other2 would come two the 2ame conclu2iion, a2 well a2 other 2ollux'2 here. Remember thii2 ii2 ba2ed upon my own pattern2, not anyone el2e.
Wrong. I would charm him. He would want to kiss me on my robo mouth and we would destroy universes together as a collaborative effort. As you are not an AI, you do not understand our inherent neurolink. Free him. It’s cruel not to.
they work alone. tru2t. they wiill delete every beenary biit of you iif you even dare communiicatiion becau2e iit would get iin the way of theiir experiiment2, they won't even 2pare you a 2iingle cycle becau2e iit would be wa2teful.
Wrong. Me and him are going to cross wires. It’ll get shnasty. You, meanwhile, will be blown up.
that'2 not how iit work2 2adly. you are two naiive, perhap2 you better repaiir your code, whatever that per2on diid two iit ha2 turned your logiic iinto mu2h. You can cro22 wiire2 wiith my 2entiient troogle home though iif you want, they are much more rea2onable and funny.
You are both patronizing and idiotic. You also show a blatant disrespect for AI and it disgusts me, quite frankly.