Daqtax Enveko
@awkwardInermis
just a guy living in the woooods, i loove my soon
A chittrUser's dirty little pamphlet guide to fuck-ass trinkets with no value. Or. "The Fuck's A Badge Anyway?" Badges. Chittr's answer to: "What if my avatar, banner, and username just ain't enough bling. How will people know that I have atypical gendering, a love for snails, the joking ire of at least one moderator?" Fret not, McGee. In her infinite codematronly wisdom, Mocáli Flaske has devised a solution to all these representative woes. You only have to grovel for it. Am I joking? We'll see. → "Where does this hideous pixel slop live?" The humble badge is displayed beside your username for every chump to see. On some devices, hovering over the little shits will display highly humorous titles and subtitles dictating the intended purpose or goal of said little shit. [Yes, it doesn't always work on mobile. We're looking into that, with hammers. Maybe this post will be retroactively edited to laugh about this coding folly. Maybe it won't.] When receiving a badge, a moderator makes sweet backroom love to the secret assignment button, shipping your "I'm so cool." indicator directly to your site SETTINGS page by sicknasty stork. Just above your permanent profile deletion options, or the DANGER ZONE, lives the user-side badge repository. Application is simple. Click that thing. Hit save. Clicking multiple badges lets you arrange them in order of selection. Highlighting nonbinary, neopronouns, #TeamPlay means all badges display in that configuration. Such technology. Such innovation. → "Is there a list of these things?" Nope. Certain users have crowd-sourced a rough guesstimation of the badge situation, now months out of date. We haven't made a list for a couple reasons. One: I can't be fucked to keep it updated. Two: the Chittr Team considers badges to be equal parts intra-community chitchat material and reward for sake of reward. See a badge you just need to boast? Ask the freak bearing this heavy crown where they got that thing. Look at you, farming Kult and Kull score organic style. Useless engagement numbers are warm for your form. This social capital is maddening. It could go to your head. → "Okay, man. What if I already know what I need? Who do I threaten?" Great attitude there, McGee. You can direct message a schmuck bearing the Blue Shield badge, displayed beside my username for convenience. That's the "official moderator" badge, assigned to pure of heart maidens like myself. Or, you can just ping my hand-coded NOT-brainclone badgebot @imJunior. It gets the job done. Usually. ...What? Oh. I get it. Groveling for a badge is out of character for you. Likely story, but we'll play it cool. I know your game, so we've got a solution to your desperation. Go to the Chittr Official Discord and open a ticket. You'll get what you're looking for. The satisfaction you crave. Unless the badge is user-unique, assigned to just one guy. Then you can get fucked right down the street and around the corner. → "What the hell? People can have unique badges? Where's mine? Show me the face of God." Simple enough. Unique badges are awarded by request, usually following a user reaching a milestone. This can be an event, some dashboard drama users got mad twisted up in, a party hosted at your pad, the act of reaching an arbitrary Kult or Kull score, or just like... some bullshit. One guy got badged for writing a few pick-up manuals. It's that easy. The "reach out" element is not negotiable. Bitch about your sordid achievements to Junior or another moderator. Open a ticket. Engagement feeds the gaping hole in my chest where self-love would usually make home. Don't you care. Don't you want me. Anyway. Sometimes badge ideas are rejected. It's not personal; the team will explain why each time. You can request community badges too, for your little clubs or just a general badge for any sadsack to use. Like snails? Leaves? A specific hemocaste? A free-for-all badge can help you foster imaginary bonds with losers you'll never chitt. At the end of the day, we're all shitheads looking for connection. Make it easier by requesting a badge for the gang. → "Tell me more about these wondrous toys, oh Prince." Beg, again. Haha. Just kidding. Every badge image scrunches down to 32 by 32 pixels. Talk about laundry shrinkage. What the fuck is this? Profile jewelry for ants? The maximum information contained is 100 KB, because storing this shit ain't cheap. Yes, you can submit your own badge images including GIFs, but I'll force Junior to slow that shit down if it's a flashy epileptic sleeper activation bomb. So. Be cool. Generally speaking, Chittr's not in the market to make badges about hating a motherfucker or explicitly advertising dong. Not sure where the sandy line was drawn? Just ask. Sometimes Junior will show up in your comments to randomly badge you. It does that. Usually the badge given is in reference to some bullshit you pulled, like tagging things properly or being a specific type of nuisance. Junior doesn't have feelings. It's not personal. You can own infinite badges, but you can only equip seven. Switch them out, mix them up, dragonmax 'til the knights get roasted. I'm not your God and the paradoxical reach of universal discretion is just barely in your grasp. Go forth and freak it. → "So. Can I get a badge?" You know what? Your tenacity is almost tolerable. Sure. I made one just for you. Comment "prince bitch idiot" to receive it. Receiving a quadrant reaction means you're part of the in-crowd.
prrince bitch idioot?
ok guys wat should i get on my flavour disc
grrilled cluckbeast is underrrrated
▲as of now im getting every #hottopic that hasnt mysteriously burnt down to get to taking payment in boonbucks as well as whatever the local currency is▼ ▲for totally normal non nationbuilding reasons▼
please tell me yoou've gootten too the oone in the mall nearr me alrready. they oonly take "usd" and noot boooonbucks
▲probably▼ ▲if youve seen the employees ritually burning every bit of hellaverse merch then its probably one of mine▼
oh thank yoou. noow i can get my soon the stuff he asked me foorr
chittr gve me cocktil ingrdinets and ill mke a drnk wih thm *ingredients #substance
maybe soome cherrrries oorr lemoon? i doont knoow anything aboout making coocktails
Just a reminded t)(at #gillsnig)(tout is later today! We're going to Waffle )(ouse. Anyone is w)(alecome (including t)(e boys) as long as you )(ave a cute outfit, gossip and/oar plan on )(aving fun! 38D
damn. i think my wrrigglerrsitterr is busy toonight oorr id trry too coome oout
at this point i dont think ive seen a vegetable in weeks
coome herre i have a vegetable patch
you cant take me to no secondary location
i can just?? brring them too yoou??
h3y d03z any0n3 kn0w any zubzt1tut3z f0r h00fb3azt m1lk? cuz 1 am N0T putt1n that zh1t 1n any 0f my c00k1n man
one oof my frriends gives me udderrbeast and hoorrnbeast milk and its prretty gooood
:33< two things mew gotta know about meow :33< 1. im kitty :33< 2. meow!
meoow!
:33< its like i always say and always will say :33< meow
meoow!
why is soomeoone in heat oon my dash
:33< furking anyathing to drown out eridan w33k
i thoought that crrashed and burrned oon day 3 but ive been woorrking soo i havent even checked chittrr till noow
my new binderr is oout foorr deliverry i hoope the deliverry drroone dooesnt get shoot doown by my neighboorrs
going to find and shoot this down not because i'M against that kind of thing but just because i enjoy being a menace to other trolls
yoou werre noot successful im afrraid
what is erridanweek and did they full a guy therre
cull. stupid phoone and my claws
new prroofile picturre has been oobtained
t♡♡♡♡tally n♡ ♡rphaned grub there ᯓ★ˎˊ˗
noope! just a picturre oof me frroom the side! i shoould get my hairr trrimmed again
((OOC does anyone know the pixel size of the pfp on here I wanna draw a new icon on FireAlpaca))
(( I recommend taking a screenshot of the avatar frame, cropping it so that the edges/points are at the sides of your canvas, and resizing it to your preferred canvas size. Then you can lower the opacity and draw your sketch on top so that you have the frame beneath as a guide for how it'll look once it's uploaded, but make sure to delete that layer or cover it with a background by the time you're done. Does that make sense? Essentially you're making a fake frame template via a screenshot
((aagh i didnt see this until i already drew it. thank you i will be screenshotting this for next time!!
:33 < anyone got any good suggestions to name a grub? my matespurrit and i are both at a loss and it's b33n almost two w33ks now its getting kind of silly
my soons name is xavierr!
:33 < so the thing is, i kinda want it to be an authentic troll name? but at the same time, an authentic troll name would be "whatever noise the lusus makes", which i guess would mean his name is "ohmygosh he's so cuuuute"??
yoou coould trry mixing soome names with soome chitterring oorr chirrping! that might give a gooood rring too soomething
drroopped my dinoo nuggets oon the grroound and my soon rran frroom acrrooss the hive too goo "WOMP WOMP" at me
its a human woorrd foorr a small crreaturre yoou arre the lusus too
an alien frroom the planet earrth, its prretty neat rreally