Nepeta Leijon
@arsenicCatnip
the one and only rogue of heart, accept no substitutes! she/her
:33 < got asked today if i take my tail off to bathe :33 < as if somehow the clawmplex electronics insulated inside the fur are more vulnerable to wet damage than the OPEN TAIL PORT would be!
:33 < yearning to play a few rounds of gwent. that oughtta set me straight.
:33< why would mew efur want to be straight?
:33 < GOOD QUESTION! :33 < im just quoting geralt dont you worry im still furry much bisexual
:33< thank gog
:33 < i would kiss myself :33 < im cute :33 < #selfcest
:33 < vengabussy #nsfw
B33 < did mew just say dat
B33 < blink twice if mew n33d helpurr
:33 < so admittedly ive nefur PLAYED the witcher 1 or 2, so i dont have the context of the relationship with triss in either one :33 < but from the research into the witcher series i HAVE done, it boggles my mind to imagine picking triss ofur yen in 3 :33 < not just because "ohh yen is geralts twue wuv" but because of the dynamic each of these women have with CIRI :33 < ciri is the crux upawn which the entire narrative turns :33 < shes geralts literal adopted daughter and also sepurrately yennefer appurrs to have a furry similar parentlike relationship to her :33 < meanwhile triss and ciri are furiends but shes more of a big sister not a maternal figure :33 < so it f33ls furry strange to me to have witcher 3 geralt, with all his memeowries back, hook up with triss, even if you want to interpurret his relationship with yen negatively, which i do understand
:33 < it's so funny having to explain to efurry human in turn that no, i was not born with a purright b100 tail, its a purrosthetic :33 < youd think ONE of them might have assumed as much but noooo "it moves around like a real tail, it must be natural"!
in my defense, trolls demonstrably can have some pretty wild mutations!
[Selfie of Nepeta, grinning, with a finger to her lips. Over her shoulder, Karkat is slumped over on the couch, clearly fast asl33p. Curled up on top of him is a lime-husked wriggler with stubby little horns quite like his own.] :33 < the boys fell asl33p watching mewvies
:33 < winds howling...
:33 < if youre my furiend and care about my f33lines please nefur point out to me a cat pun that i DIDNT use because chances are ill get sooooo angry at myself fur missing the oppurrtunity :33 < im aware this is not the healthiest state to be in and i am working on it but in the meantime please be clawnsiderate
:33 < to those it may interest: :33 < i tried to graph out the local pawlycule situation but i dont know if its entirely legible? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/66ce1e0abc9a.png
:33 < neps get all the bitches
:33< a key wouldnt go amiss like what the dotted lines furses solid ones mean
:33 < basically the dotted lines mean dating, matespurrits, you know, regular stuff :33 < and the solid lines are fur the *really solidly committed* pairings, the ones we might clawnsider to be human married even if they havent actually done the ceremeowny fur it :33 < i would have loved to put in more detail but the only way to do that would be writing on the lines and thatd just make the whole darn thing unreadable
:33< yeah okay im s33ing the vision nyow!!!
:33 < i like it!! me, jade, dave and karkitty would be nice...
:33 < im so glad theres enough cat pokemon fur a full and furied team compurrised exclusively of cats :33 < a little bit of type ofurlap with liepard, incineroar, and meowscarada all being dark, but the dual types make up fur it i think
:33 < of course my team does have the glaring flaw of no hard counters to fire electric and dark types (and dragons)...but its fine dont worry about it
inciner0ar is so fucking busted they c0unt as a soft c0unter two half th0se anyway.
:33 < then again, im a purrolific enough hunter you could purrobably call it a car33r, even if im not exactly getting paid fur it
:33 < we're self-employed!!
:33< us nepetas are just doing out own thang simpurr as that
:33 < happy 4/20 to those that celebrate! :33 < the one time i tried w33d i panicked and thought equius was gonna kill me if he found out and i accidentally clawed up daves legs something fierce
:33 < we were snuggling and i had my hands on his legs only i got really anxious so i started gripping him way too hard
:33 < no silly, davepetas an alternate mewnifurse fursion of me that accidentally fused with your spurriteself! theyre furry cool
:33 < ... :33 < okay, i think youre too high to talk to right now
:33 < so mew want a cat girl matesprit? :33 < theres a few things mew should know: :33 < 1. purrepare to be hunted :33 < 2. give gifts of kitty snacks and catnip :33 < 3. if mew wanna be on top mew gotta fight fur it :33 < 4. ofurrload them on affection. if mew think its too much, no it isn't. :33 < 5. don't take them to a water park. :33 < 6. don't ruin their hunts, let them pounce 100>:33 < of the time. :33 < 7. nefurr pull out :00 < nsfw
:33< straight facts big agr33
:33 < genuinely m33ting mewlin made me reconsider some things about myself :33 < it was like looking in a carnival funhouse mirror and s33ing how efurryone else s33s me
:33 < merlin makes me sometimes regret being a leijon
:33 < google how do humans come up with names fur grubs
:33 < oh wow youre out of touch arent you :33 < im asking because my matespurrit and i adopted a grub and we still havent come up with a name fur him!!!
Well yeah, you got unlucky. Rest in peace to Rirkpl's social life... Poor thing....
D --> What D --> You have what D --> Who is your matesprit D --> Have they been treating you well D --> It isn't Vantas, is it D --> You could surely find better than him
:33 < i hate having to have this confursation again :33 < yes its karkat, yes hes b33n treating me wonderfully fur the past DECADE, no i could NOT find better than him!! hes the gentlest, kindest, most romeowntic troll ive efur met and i LOVE HIM!!! :33 < and we are going to raise a grub together beclaws i happen to think thats romantic too!
:33 < you are furgiven! i know youre just trying to look out fur me, and you will always be my meowrail even if earth c folks think thats silly and old-fashioned :33 < but you cant actually dictate my life to me, you know? :33 < im my own troll!
D --> Mention of that planet again D --> I am overstepping my boundaries, you are not my Leijon D --> I wish you well, but we should not interact D --> I would not want to burden you with twice the weight you already carry D --> I wish you well
:33 < there's nothing wrong with talking to alts! :33 < but you should definitely be focusing on your own nepeta :33 < s33 you around! <>
:33 < man can you IMAGINE an evil nepeta?? :33 < i could be an absolute menace to society if i wanted to be
Every nepeta is evil These are the facts
:33 < nooo, im nice! :33 < ive nefur hurt anybody except in self-defense and one time i bit dave too hard by accident
:33 < i swear im gonna name this grub befur he hits furstmolt
:33 < my matespurrit can be so sensitive, sometimes its cute but sometimes its a little annoying :33 < just beclaws i ate a purrkchop jake cooked fur me, doesnt mean im flirting with him!!
:33 < i may have misspoke :33 < most of his scars are furom jack way back in the game, and the most recent ones are surgical :33 < i havent given him any, and i dont intend to :33 < if i want to mark him, i can just put hickeys on his neck!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :3 II thought you were more #viiolence than that two be faiir.
:33 < im mostly #violence to animals and meat! im only violent to people if they really piss me off :33 < or try to kill me, e.g. our gamz33
but yeah he 2houldn't be jelly over a porkchop. IIt would have two be a really amaziing porkchop the 2iize of a planet, and even then, II don't thiink even that would 2woon you.
:33 < there is no amount of delicious meat that could efur make me consider cheating on my amazing matespurrit :33 < i dont even think a good meal could make me consider talking to him about an open relationship thing! :33 < a meal is just a meal fur furicks sake!!
:33 < it appeases the pawrt of me thats still a shippurr at heart to know that in an infinite multifurse, efurry pawssible ship can and has happened :33 < even if that includes vriskat
:33< true...