cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 11: feferi peixes #cheating #nsfvw #nsfvwe #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing. ewveryone expects an ampora to simp ovwer the peixes and to gush ovwer em and fall cranial case ovwer strutpod and havwe some wvaguely aesthetic sexy situationship, and obvwiously i wvant all that but. i dunno. dont get me wvrong, fef is absolutely gorgeous, but shes just missing that secret sauce for me, that something something. still, i do hawve plenty of experience pulling em so lets get into it. remember roxy? similar deal here. fefs aint so hard to read, but you are gonna find some vwith glassy eyes and shiny lips vwho dont knowv their port from starboard. cant exactly call em airheads, but yknowv. bimbos. not a thought in that pretty lil head. you dont need my help getting wvith her. ask if she vwants a ride to the beach, or tell her that it suddenly became against the lawv for babes to vwear clothes, i dunno. shell believwe anything, she needs bulge bad, and shell evwen pay for dinner afterwvards. fantastic date. novw for the ones that hawve a fevw more marbles bouncing around their noggins, it depends. if she asks you for help wvith eridan, youre in. sit dovwn wvith her, put on a movwie, get cozy, let her yap about howv much she hates her boyfriend, smile and nod and try not to be too obvwious about staring at her tits... then go in for the cull. about howv she deservwes so much better, that the vway you held the door for her and got her a snack makes you a real provwider, that you wvould alvways take good care of her... she might get shy and blushy, but shell be smiling. its a hop skip and a jump to her respiteblock from there. youvwe got the beach episode fefs, the ones that wvanna go for a dip. i mean, theyll all put on a string bikini if you ask, this is more just like... not a vwalley girl and not vwith eridan. she likes to be romanced, be svweet vwith her, be manly, shovw off your muscles, all that good stuff. generally a bit too chipper for my usual mowves to wvork, but that also means shell grin and say tanks if you feel her up or drop some cutesy nicknames like good gill or kittenfish or slut. thats another thing, the fish puns are a good in, but dont owverdo em, and be at least a lil creatiwve. theyvwe all heard fincess before. just remember that shes a girly girl, she wvants a manly man, and youll be set. novw for the ratings bod: nevwer seen a skinny fef. shes packing floatation dewvices and beachballs. she might be the most likely babe, at least outta this lot, to hawve the covweted slimthicc look. the goggles are a lil dumb, but ivwe literally nevwer seen any of em comment on em, so its probably fine. absolute babe. 10/10 vwariety: this is vwhere she loses points for me, fefs can be a lil samey. ewven the wvalley girl babes, and i do lowve a gal vwho says like too much, dont act all too different from the ones vwith pans. and i can only hear about eridan being out on a vwork trip so many times before i start to vwonder just wvhat job is so important they leawve their gal at her ranch home in dreambubbletopia. 6/10 ease: peixes do lovwe an ampora, feferi the most. they wvanna hop me the second they see me. im sure shes just as randy for anyone else, but ill havwe an easier time than you. obvwiously. 10/10 personality: this is a hot take, but just... out of the peixes, she dont compell me. ill get some banter ewvery novw and then, but wvhat am i supposed to do vwith a gill wvhose sole purpose in life is to get coated, inside and out, in wviolet slurry? i cant complain i guess, but i dont think i like gals vwho are so bubbly all the time. 6/10 ovwerall: 7/10. she could be so perfect wvith just a bit of effort. a composite peixes might just be the perfect lay (this is foreshadowving for later). im newver gonna say no of course, but... eh. kinda bores me after all this time.
dont you think i knoww that its a fact that wwomen lovve men wwho treat them like shit but fefs different trust me shes literally my ex
pal of the svweep right here
wwell that wwas basically wwhat i wwanted ta say and thus im left wwith nothin to contribute but my felloww gentleman an scholar is correct, bein a creep to evvery dame under the blazin hot sun wwhats roastin your poorly dressed oinkbeast keister on a daily basis seein as howw youre alwways throwwin yourself empty-headfirst into your owwn foot wwas one thing but talkin this wway about fef is a bridge too far if you wwant advvice from an ampora wwho can actually leavve his hivve long enough ta learn a thing or twwo about the wworld id suggest you delete the post for your owwn sake so as to savve yourself any further embarrassment and i must do somethin rather rare for me an thank my other self ivve been slackin on my rant game lately an youvve reminded me a howw long i can go on for if i set my pan to it
something tells me you hawvent gone through that guys account first before taking his critique at face wvalue
wwell that is all pretty fuckin deplorable but ill say he wwas right just this one time
trust me pal, im talking from experience here. i think i knovw just a lil bit more about the wvays of the pick-up artist than either of you twvo do. evweryone keeps assuming im pulling all this outta my vwaste chute, but i vwanna make it clear: this is all from swveeps, and i do mean svweeps, of observwations. anecdote after anecdote, all catalogued and examined, until i hawve a case file on wvhat to expect vwhen i meet a random babe in the svwinging bubbles. then i vwhip out my movwes, maybe vwhip it out, and this lil oinkbeasties in hog heavwen. folks need to quit telling me to touch grass wvhen im constantly divwing headfirst into that bush #nsfvw
havvin you a all eris agree wwith me makes me wwanna take back evverythin i dont givve a porpoises ass fin if youvve gone through a wwhole trainin montage in the interim swweeps to become a mulitdimensional ally to wwomen theres no denyin cros just sayin wwhat wwevve both thought aloud an dont hit me wwith a WWELL i personally nevva felt that wway bollocks our nastyboy nature is innate no matter howw hard you try to fight it see the difference betwween you an me is that you take this as an affront to fefs feminine vvirtue wwhereas ivve stopped livvin in denial an long ago accepted that the bar wwhat separates her from other girls is paper thin i wwas only so bloody irrate because the bastard hit me in the flabby sore spot i havve ovver gettin #cucked