TURNING ANOTHER SWEEP OLDER DOESN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT MATTERS ALL THAT MUCH, ANYMORE. NOT WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SPENT TWELVE SWEEPS IN ANCIENT EAST ALTERNIA REALIZING THAT YOU'RE MORE OR LESS TIME-LOCKED INTO THE AGE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE CEREBRALLY COERCED INTO SIGNING YOUR FUCKING FAUSTIAN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. THAT UNINTENDED LITTLE ROMP, IN ADDITION TO LANDING ME ON TIME ROACH EXTERMINATION DUTY, ALSO HAPPENED TO PAD OUT MY RESUMÉ WITH SOME USEFUL SKILLS. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE THINGS I'M ALL TOO COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT HERE IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE ROVING HORDES OF INTERNET PERVERTS LUSTING AFTER ANY #SUGGESTIVE OR OUTRIGHT #NSFW CONTENT THEY CAN HOOK THEIR GREASY PRONGS ON, BUT THERE'S ONE I'VE GOT A PRETTY SOLID HANDLE ON THAT FEELS ESPECIALLY RELEVANT TO BEING A MEMBER OF A CRIMINAL SYNDICATE. 「#SHIBARI.」 ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE THE CULTURE-ALLERGIC DIPSHITS IN THE ROOM ON A FACT ABOUT ROPE. ROPE IS A LIVING THING. NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS. BUT ROPE IS ORGANIC. HAIR. WOOL. PLANT FIBER. SPUN SILK FROM COCOONS. ROPE IS MADE FROM THINGS THAT ARE *ALIVE,* AND IF YOU TREAT IT LIKE A DEAD THING, IT'LL CHAFE LIKE A MAGGOTY, ROTTEN CORPSE LEFT IN THE SUN TO DESSICATE UNTIL IT FEELS ABOUT AS DELICATE ON THE SKIN AS A CRUSTY, CALCIFIED MANDIBLE. SO HOW DO YOU KEEP IT IN LIVING CONDITION? EASY. WIND IT OUT, PULL IT TAUT, BURN THE FRAYING EDGES. SMOOTH IT DOWN WITH SOFTENING WAX AND WORK IT IN. PAMPER THAT SHIT WHILE YOU YANK IT INTO PLIABLE ORDER. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY? USE IT. IT WANTS TO BE USED. EXHIBIT A. THE DROOLING, NEEDY BITCH WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO TALK ABOUT THIS ON MAIN. OBSERVE WHAT A REAL FUCKING MASTER CAN DO WITH A LIVING THING. NOT HER, OBVIOUSLY. SHE HAS ALL THE CHARM AND VIVACITY OF A BUZZING PILE OF FUCKING BLUBBERBEAST GUTS. IF ANYONE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE HORN TYING INTO THEIR 「KINBAKU」 PRACTICE, FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A FUCKING DIAGRAM. YOU KNOW, SINCE MY BOSS @handMaid DOESN'T MIND THE ATTENTION. AND WHILE WE'RE BRINGING UP "CARTOON FAIRY REVIEWSLOP," I AWAIT YOUR (SECOND) CANDID REVIEW OF THE 2015 JUKEBOX MUSICAL "STRANGE MAGIC" WITH DOWNRIGHT FUCKING GLEEFUL ANTICIPATION. I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT THE BOG KING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
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A FACT THAT SPEAKS *VOLUMES* TO THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT THAT WAS NECESSARY TO ACCOMPLISH *THAT* INCONCEIVABLE FEAT.
(|:O
the filthblood fevver has spiked to levvels heretofore unseen man
:33< holy shit
(=｀ω´=) < THAT LOOKS FUN, WISH I COULD GET A TURN!!! #SUGGESTIVE
D--> øh
:o) . . . :o) You were engaging with such filth... AND YOU DIDN'T MOTHERFUCKING INVITE ME?! STAY WHERE YOU IS, MUTANT I'M ON MY WAY
OH NO.