Equius Zahhak
@centaursPeripherals
I have sacrificed a 100t for my moirail but creating this account might be t001 heavy even for my STRENGTH
... I'VE BEEN CHECKING THE CLOCK FOR AT LEAST TEN KARKAT HOURS, NOW. NORMALLY, I WOULDN'T COMMIT THE UNSPEAKABLE WORKPLACE BLUNDER OF LOOKING AT *ANY* TIMEPIECE IN THIS SAW TRAP MANOR, BUT SOMETHING KEEPS KNIFING ME IN THE WRONG THORASSIC PROTECTIVE BONE CURVATURE. IT'S 6/12. WHY IS IT STILL 6/12. IT CAN'T *STILL* BE 6/12. CAN IT?
D--> Perhaps this is a wriggling đay gift by yøur empløyer althøugh I đøubt that is the ¢ase. Yøu get tø e%perien¢e yøur spe¢ial đay twi¢e insteađ øf a mere øn¢e.
(=^･⩊･^=) < HUH!! F33LING QUITE LIGHTER NOW! LIKE SOME WEIGHT GOT LIFTED OUT OF ME?? HUH!
D--> Whatever was weighing yøu đøwn I am quite happy it is gøne.
(=^･⩊･^=) < THANKS, EQUIHISS! I PAWLWAYS APPURRECIATE MEWR SUPPAWRT!
D--> Øf ¢øurse.
Hot dog ninja has changed targets to Slimothy Jimothys now, but only half-eaten ones. Typical day so far. #sevenelevenposting
D--> Høw đø they always strike while I am nøt at shift.
It's like he's waiting for you to not be there or somethin'. Casin' the joint
D--> There is a simple sølutiøn tø that ¢ønunđrum.
He at least paid for his gas and cigarettes today... But what's the solution? Gonna show up and STRONG arm him out?
D--> That wøulđ be the e%pe¢teđ ¢øurse øf a¢tiøn. I will nøt reveal møre at this time.
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D--> Hellø. I høpe that name was nøt self appøinteđ, nø høøf ør mus¢le beast ¢øulđ be truly evil. 100k insiđe yøur e%tremely well đeveløpeđ ¢arđiøvas¢ular system.
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D--> I ¢an ¢ømprehenđ yøu better than I ¢an møst trølls. It is a terrible thing før a ¢reatør tø be sø enviøus øf their øwn ¢reatiøn. Rest assuređ yøu 100k nøble even with yøur ¢reatør's ¢ruđe ađje¢tives hanging øver yøur prøfile.
D--> The entitlement søme ¢riminals have is truly astønishing.
i'm willing t0 let it slide next time th0ugh y0u have permissi0n t0 resp0nd acc0rdingly
D--> I unđerstanđ.
CR1M1N4LS YOU S4Y?
D--> I will make sure justi¢e is perførmeđ if ne¢essary but I will keep pyrøpes in minđ if an e%tenđeđ legal battle is ne¢essary.
.hey #sevenelevenpostinG .come get your equiuS @centaursPeripherals .he wont get out of my dms whining about how he's gonna kick me out for ordering a slushie cuz I said something rude to him like oncE .reign in this horse bastard who cant take a trolling or ill file a complainT
D--> Yøu haven't even been in the støre sin¢e yøu støle that slushie as far as I am aware.
.surprisE .bitches can LIe .I said it to get on your fucking case so beat it alreadY .nobody in their right pan wants to get banned from the slushie placE
let it g0 this time
D--> Yøu are ¢ørre¢t after taking a 100k, yøu never støle a slushie be¢ause yøu were banneđ før attempting tø apprøa¢h the safe a fa¢t yøu gløateđ abøut. Sø yes I apøløgise før wrøngfully a¢¢using yøu øf stealing a slushie but as far as I ¢an tell the ban was never res¢inđeđ sø yøu will stay øut until it is.
D--> Anđ it has been sø yøu are alløweđ ba¢k.
.i literally went in and bought a slushie like less than a week agO .GO AWAy .oh my GOd
D--> I am gøne, but I will be wat¢hing yøu. As arađia saiđ yøu have ØNE møre ¢han¢e.
.goin to cupE .shut uP .byE
D--> It is unførtunate that sleep will nøt help with the mental grøwth yøu đesperately neeđ.
.this fucking asshat keeps coming onto mE .and i can never tell if it's spite pity or mediation coming out of his nasty ass moutH .if it's spite youll be sorely disappointeD
D--> It is nøt spite. I am trying tø prøviđe ađvi¢e tø yøu whi¢h yøu are rebuking før nø ¢øn¢rete reasøn.
.this is who i am fuckwiT .im not changing for some greasy mangrub who cant handle a sassy bitcH
D--> I ¢an hanđle sassy female barkbeasts perfe¢tly fine. Yøu are nøt even the sassiest øne that I have đealt with.
You Guys Like My Boyfriend Posts, Right? It Will Happen Again. #fond #fond #fond
I Am Crying Just A Little Bit But That Is Okay And Normal.
I " Literally " Have No Reference For What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like But I Think I Might Be In One Right Now.
D--> Yøu đeserve this Larksø.
TURNING ANOTHER SWEEP OLDER DOESN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT MATTERS ALL THAT MUCH, ANYMORE. NOT WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SPENT TWELVE SWEEPS IN ANCIENT EAST ALTERNIA REALIZING THAT YOU'RE MORE OR LESS TIME-LOCKED INTO THE AGE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE CEREBRALLY COERCED INTO SIGNING YOUR FUCKING FAUSTIAN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. THAT UNINTENDED LITTLE ROMP, IN ADDITION TO LANDING ME ON TIME ROACH EXTERMINATION DUTY, ALSO HAPPENED TO PAD OUT MY RESUMÉ WITH SOME USEFUL SKILLS. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE THINGS I'M ALL TOO COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT HERE IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE ROVING HORDES OF INTERNET PERVERTS LUSTING AFTER ANY #SUGGESTIVE OR OUTRIGHT #NSFW CONTENT THEY CAN HOOK THEIR GREASY PRONGS ON, BUT THERE'S ONE I'VE GOT A PRETTY SOLID HANDLE ON THAT FEELS ESPECIALLY RELEVANT TO BEING A MEMBER OF A CRIMINAL SYNDICATE. 「#SHIBARI.」 ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE THE CULTURE-ALLERGIC DIPSHITS IN THE ROOM ON A FACT ABOUT ROPE. ROPE IS A LIVING THING. NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS. BUT ROPE IS ORGANIC. HAIR. WOOL. PLANT FIBER. SPUN SILK FROM COCOONS. ROPE IS MADE FROM THINGS THAT ARE *ALIVE,* AND IF YOU TREAT IT LIKE A DEAD THING, IT'LL CHAFE LIKE A MAGGOTY, ROTTEN CORPSE LEFT IN THE SUN TO DESSICATE UNTIL IT FEELS ABOUT AS DELICATE ON THE SKIN AS A CRUSTY, CALCIFIED MANDIBLE. SO HOW DO YOU KEEP IT IN LIVING CONDITION? EASY. WIND IT OUT, PULL IT TAUT, BURN THE FRAYING EDGES. SMOOTH IT DOWN WITH SOFTENING WAX AND WORK IT IN. PAMPER THAT SHIT WHILE YOU YANK IT INTO PLIABLE ORDER. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY? USE IT. IT WANTS TO BE USED. EXHIBIT A. THE DROOLING, NEEDY BITCH WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO TALK ABOUT THIS ON MAIN. OBSERVE WHAT A REAL FUCKING MASTER CAN DO WITH A LIVING THING. NOT HER, OBVIOUSLY. SHE HAS ALL THE CHARM AND VIVACITY OF A BUZZING PILE OF FUCKING BLUBBERBEAST GUTS. IF ANYONE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE HORN TYING INTO THEIR 「KINBAKU」 PRACTICE, FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A FUCKING DIAGRAM. YOU KNOW, SINCE MY BOSS @handMaid DOESN'T MIND THE ATTENTION. AND WHILE WE'RE BRINGING UP "CARTOON FAIRY REVIEWSLOP," I AWAIT YOUR (SECOND) CANDID REVIEW OF THE 2015 JUKEBOX MUSICAL "STRANGE MAGIC" WITH DOWNRIGHT FUCKING GLEEFUL ANTICIPATION. I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT THE BOG KING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
D--> øh
BEHOLD. FELT MANOR’S NEWEST AND SHINIEST STAR. A TROLL SO TRUSTING. HE NEITHER SHUTS THE DOOR TO HIS RESPITEBLOCK. NOR TAKES HIS PALMHUSK FROM THE STICKBALL TABLE. WHEN HE RETIRES FOR THE LIGHT. A TROLL SO SUICIDALLY STUPID. HE POSTS HIS MANAGER’S UPSKIRT SHOTS ON THE TIMELINE. A TROLL SO BRAVE. OR SO BRAIN DAMAGED. HE GETS IN A POSTING WAR. WITH A TIME TRAVELING MEGABITCH. FEAST YOUR BULBS. ON THIS BREAKING NEWS. JUST NOW. CAPTURED LATE LAST LIGHT. BEFORE HE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY. TO BUTCHER HIS BEAUTIFUL BISHIE HAIR. PRESENTING: CHALKBOX PLAYING WITH HIS #SUGGESTIVE BONDAGE NOODLES.
D--> Is there a spe¢ifi¢ reasøn yøu hađ tø pøst the image with yøur rumblespheres peaking øut. Nøt that....there is anything....spe¢ifi¢ally wrøng....with that it is just....đistra¢ting. But I am happy yøu 100k ¢ømpaređ tø yøur usual s¢ruffy self slightly better if still just as s¢ruffy.
LOOK AT THE FINISH CRUMBS SHOTGUNNED ALL OVER THE FUCKING CHITT, IDIOT. MARA STOLE MY PALMHUSK TO WRITE THIS. IN *WHAT* FUCKING UNIVERSE WOULD I WILLINGLY POST A BLATANT AND DELIBERATE THIRST TRAP? IT DOESN'T MATTER. I CUT MY HAIR THIS DUSK, ANYWAY. I'M FEELING MORE LIKE MYSELF, ALREADY.
D--> I điđ nøt in-fa¢t reađ far enøugh đøwn tø nøti¢e that. I was just making sure the apprøpriate ađje¢tive was being useđ tø đes¢ribe the state these...bønđage....nøøđles wøulđ neeđ tø be in. That is all I was asking. I am alsø đeeply sađ yøu have đe¢iđeđ tø ¢ut yøur hair. Øh well.
i g0t hit by a semi 0n my way h0me last night
n0
yeah
D--> If yøu neeđ help managing the repairs I am always willing tø assist.