Gygaax Bhildr

5 days ago

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@tautologicalTechnique[TT]

『 ADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique 』 『 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALLING AROUND, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, RAY CULTURE, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/C, KRYQUS X RAYS, LORD OF DOOM ENERGY, EARTH K, INFINITELY MANY RAYS, EVERYTHING RAY, NO RAYS NO PROBLEM』 KRYQUS x Y/C // PALESHIPPING // HIVEBREW // RAYSHIPPING // FRIENDFICTION // CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS CAMPAIGN // SFW // MOIRAIL MULTICLASS // UNBOUND BY THE UNBOUND BOOK // @naughtyTechnician // @anonymous ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < AUTHOR'S NOTE. Listen. y'all LISTEN. This one time??? At Caverns 'n Cullbeasts breakout class I was hosting??? Kryqus (who I am absolutely actual friends with and definitely know personally, true story btw) a strange newcomer pulled out a character sheet fer a hivebrew class that ain't even in the official compendium...'n it radically altered my whole entire life trajectory. ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <3 <> <3 <> ... ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); < The mosaic patterned table occupied by all gathered was covered in dice, dice jails full 'n empty alike, 'n plenty 'o sordidly sorted empty snack wrappers... 'n at least three different iterations of character sheets that got abandoned due to...creative differences...but the session ended hours ago. The CM's fit t'go hive. The miniatures got put back in their little felt baggies. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Yet here Y/C remains. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Here KRYQUS remains. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < And also me. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < The three of us may as well have been the guy from that one meme where he's stuck in the piss dimension, 'n it's this dude screamin' in water filter-shifted yellow. Just. Downright suspended in amber, like a couple of prehistoric aegis-aged troublemakers who ain't got nowhere better t'be...'n that's when a MYSTERIOUS STRANGER arrives...'n starts talkin' about RAYS. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Not just any rays. INFINITELY MANY RAYS. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < The MYSTERIOUS STRANGER, plausibly a hemoanonymous Gygaax Bhildr with a ray fixation, approached the table with the command of a Grand Thrall Threshecutioner addressing a platoon before one of the greatest most rousingly inspired battles waged in the campaign... ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ < "you folks", began the stranger "ever encounter a problem that can't be solved?" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yeah ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < thoose are the prooblems that usually go ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < unsoolved ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oon accoount oof being ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yknoow ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < unsoolveable ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <3 <3< <> The suave and unassuming KRYQUS leans back in his chair, casual as a chud on a day off (all days are off for a chud, they don't have jobs), his broad shoulders takin' up way more space than the laws 'o decency, physics, or welcomin' hospitality should permit with a new stranger at the table. He's got this look on his face like he just invented fire 'n is waitin' fer Y/C t'catch up t'the revelation this new fellah ain't hot shit. KRYQIAN fingers drum against the table in a rhythm that suggests infinite patience...somehow managing to be tested. ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ < "learning opportunity ray", The MYSTERIOUS STRANGER said. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Y/C is flabbergasted. KRYQUS, reasonably so, is similarly perplexed. For some reason, everything made so much more sense. The spurious lightshow from the end of THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER's finger was nothing new; there are thousands on Alternia who can do that, possibly even millions. Everyone who has ever filled out a Caverns 'n Cullbeasts character sheet is excruciatingly aware of the at times cumbersome process of porting over Psionic slots, and ensuring every possible application of one's abilities are recorded accurately, but imaginatively. Yet, this effect...the LEARNING OPPORTUNITY RAY... ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < It was like a sudden spike in INT, WIS, and CHR all at once. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < so like ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < prooblem soolved ray i guess ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < but thats just oone oof em ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < learning ooppoortunity ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < what aboout literally everything else ever ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < there are infinitely many things that need rays ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < cloothes ooff ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < tear wipe ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < hug yoour father ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < drink water toonight ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < foorgot yoour keys ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < bad day ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < neverending existential dread ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < all oof em ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < just ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < rays ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Y/C stares. KRYQUS is sittin' there like he didn't just casually propose that every single issue in existence could be solved with the application of a properly attuned ray angled directly at the forehead of the source. Y/C's brain does a little somersault. A cartwheel. An entire gymnastics routine. A dizzying series of dumbfounded little leaps. Clearly even someone as cool as MYSTERIOUS STRANGER would see this as satirical, mocking the impossibility... ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < But the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER does not. Instead, the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER sees the confusion 'n leans forward, voice droppin' t'that register that makes Y/C's thinkpan go all fuzzy 'round the edges. There is this supported energy. Like a million rays firing at once beneath the foundation to prop something up. This utterly un-fuck-withable, laid-back, casual-as-heck energy that makes the end 'o the world sound like a minor inconvenience that could be handled with the right ray-based cantrip. ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ < "nah, see, you of little faith. that's exactly what i'm saying actually." ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ☆*✲⋆ "problem solved ray." ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ･:*:･｡☆ "clothes off ray" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ･* ੈ♡‧₊˚🦓 "hug your father ray" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ･༎ຶ🚰💧💧💧𖦏 "drink water tonight ray" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ "why would you WANT to forget your keys ray" ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ ─── "i am not going to hit you with a bad day ray." ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ ── . . . "okay seriously i dont think you get how this whole ray thing works. if i hit you with a neverending existential dread ray you would experience. you guessed it. neverending existential dread." ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < doo it pussy ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "excuse me what ray" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < the neverending existential dread one ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < do it ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < hit me with it ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < hit me with it dead center pussy ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < im ready ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "no i get that" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "but i am firing an" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ "excuse me what ray" ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "because genuinely what are you on?" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < noot neverending existential dread thats for sure ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < get quick with it ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < MYSTERIOOUS STRANGER ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yoou already failed me oon ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < foorgot yoour keys ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < bad day ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < noow neverending existential dread ray? ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < next thing yooure going to tell me there isnt an all oof em ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < which i alsoo asked for ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < smh ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "of course there is an all of em ray" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < ooh ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < doope ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i change my wish hit me with the all oof em ray ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "i am not going to hit you with the all of em ray" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < why noot ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σـــــــــﮩ٨ـ "you are not strong enough ray" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < fuck ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < noow im not strong enoough to get hit with the all of em ray ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < why the fuck did yoou doo that ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ);¤=[]:::::> <> <> <> <> TRAINING ARC INITIATED!!!!!!!!! ray... shouted the CM, Gygaax Bhildr. It is not usually the role of the Cavern Master to fire off rays all piggly wiggly, willy nilly...but with animosities stoked at the table in all directions, even Y/C starting to feel some tension, a pair of conductively heated hands were duly dispensed. A healing green warmth teased its expansive shadows all over creation, kept only indoors by the walls inscribed with shadows as old as the long extinct limeblood caste, and with each SHOOSH PAP...the aura and energy in the room fizzled like the tail end of a ray fired off... ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> SHOOOOOSHHHHHH!!! ｡˖ ˎˊ˗ to the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER. ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> SHOOOOOSHHHHHH PAPPPPP!!! ｡˖ ˎˊ˗ to the KRYQUS. (Ꮚòꈊ 0̀Ꮚ); ৡঌঌৡঌঌ <> <> <> <> And an extra warm sHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH PAP PAP pap! to the Y/C for bein' so patient... (ᗜᏊಠꈊಠᏊ)¤=[]:::::> KRYQUS stands up 'n suddenly the whole room feels different. Not just because of the soft fluffy little squishes of palm to cheek everyone just added to their inventory. But as though the air got thicker 'n more purposeful. MYSTERIOUS STRANGER joins in as they talk, and begins to gesture with both hands in these broad, sweeping motions that somehow look both completely ridiculous 'n profoundly meaningful at the same time. The two are drawin' diagrams in the air. Ray receptive and dispensin' diagrams. Like two rays...connecting together. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < soo ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "so?" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < "support ray" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "you wish to learn how support ray works?" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yeah ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < gygaax has a pooint ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i woould rather figure oout how the neverending despair ray woorks oon my oown ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < soo i can use it or unuse it whenever i choooose ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "you force my hand KRYQUS. but i dont mind. do you know why?" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < noot really noo ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "that is because you have already mastered my first technique" ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ彡彡彡 "nonchalance ray" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < ooh ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ)彡彡彡 < doope i guess ᴗ(ᴗᏊ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> Gygaax's hands -- I mean MY hands -- are already reachin' out from beyond the narrative fourth wall 'n just...PINCHIN' these adorable cheeks. This 'ere is a TRAINING MONTAGE now. We're doin' it. Full Rockee-style except instead 'o punchin' meat it's...rays. Infinitely many rays. The soft enmeshed interplay 'o emotional support 'n impromptu gaming mechanics pressured outta these two like the tiniest last bit 'o pinchable toothpest sequestered at the end 'o the tube, squeezed all hard-like...c-consensually! Consensually, OFC. We can stop at any time, but why would we??? ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < "Now, KRYQUS," Gygaax began, his voice thick with the kind 'o wisdom that only comes from authorial intent, "Ewe can't just leave Y/C out here...ewe gotta SHOW 'EM TOO!!! Ewe gotta hand 'em th'remote to the RAY CHANNEL, let 'em change too. Clothes off ray! Rehydrate ray! Go, my raylings!" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < gygaax ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < are yoou goonna narrate this whoole thing ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < in that weird ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < self insert way ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < where yoou toouch everyoone until they feel better ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < because if soo ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i suppoose ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < thats ookay ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i mean its yoour stoory yoou doo yoou ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < loong as yoou doont interrupt the ray lessoons ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < cmoon mysterioous stranger we goot a Y/C too train ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < KRYQUS turns back t'Y/C 'n his expression softens into somethin' that looks almost...tender? But in a cool way. A casual way. The kind 'o way where he's still the messiah's honest nonest chalanter ever, but also maybe willin' t'admit that a shoosh pap or two ain't so bad if you've got the right rays t'handle it. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < loook ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < Y/C ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yoou ever have oone oof those days ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < where everythings just ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < too much ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < and yoou cant even ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬ᾊ) < put oon yoour oown cloothes ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < because thats a whoole thing ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < that requires energy ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < that yoou doont have ( Ꮚ✦ω✦Ꮚ); < Y/C nods slowly. Oh, they know. They know that feeling intimately. The kind 'o day where even existin' feels like a full round action that provokes attacks 'o opportunity from the universe itself. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < well ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < thats when yoou use ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < the cloothes ooff ray ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "mhm" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < but like ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < in a helpful way ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "correct" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < noot a weird way ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "not in the slightest" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < get choor mind ooutta the gutter ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "scrape the grease off that thinkpan before it goes bad" ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < this is aboout coomfoort ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < and being casual ( Ꮚ ๑‾̀◡‾́Ꮚ)σ "worthy recipient of the nonchalance ray you are KRYQUS." ︻╦╤─✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oobserve ︻╦╤─ ҉ - -( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < cloothes off ray ( ¬_ ¬ ) < tada ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < He demonstrates by makin' a little finger gun gesture at his own shirt. Pew. The implication is clear. The ray has been fired. The clothes are now off (in a comfortable, non-sexual, just-gettin-ready-for-recuperacoon sorta platonic way). The casual energy is off the charts. Y/C can feel their own stress levels droppin' just witnessin' this master at work. The smooth surface of ashen grey you could just glide a hand across and pinch at in times of distress or need. To emphasize, a nonchalant hand makes undeniably obvious this is no illusion or trick, tracing in concentric 'lil circles for a moment. ( ¬_ ¬ ) < see ( ¬_ ¬ ) < smoooth ( ¬_ ¬ ) < noo drama ( ¬_ ¬ ) < noo prooblem ( ¬_ ¬ ) < just ray ᴗ(ᴗᏊ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> Gygaax is amazed!!! Truly!!! The sheer SMOOTHNESS of it!!! The way a ray can fix ANYTHING with enough support!!! My -- I mean Gygaax's -- hands are doin' that thing where they alternate between pettin' Y/C's head 'n KRYQUS's head 'n maybe both at once because the pale energy is THICK enough t'cut with a knife!!! But like. A friendly knife. A supportive knife. Only raised in times 'o need and in defense 'o friends. ( ¬_ ¬ ) < Y/C ( ¬_ ¬ ) < yoou too mysterioous stranger ( ¬_ ¬ ) < coome here ( ¬_ ¬ ) < im goonna shoow yoou ( ¬_ ¬ ) < the moost impoortant ray ( ¬_ ¬ ) < i learned from becooming ( ¬_ ¬ ) < noonchalant ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < The MYSTERIOUS STRANGER and Y/C step forward 'n KRYQUS opens his arms in the universal gesture of "I am about to deploy a hug ray." It's casual. It's laid back. It's offerin' physical affection like it's the most natural thing in the world. Like rays ain't about destruction...it's about bein' there fer yer friends with infinitely many solutions to their problems. ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); < The hug lands. It's warm. It's solid. It smells like dice 'n old books 'n the particular kind 'o comfort that only comes from someone who understands that sometimes the world needs t'save itself...but that don't mean you gotta do it alone. The hug ray is chargin'. It's at maximum capacity. Neverending existential dread is summoned and banished. Light is arrived at and wilts into shadow. The very stars themselves reject the imposter green moon, nothing before the beauty of this cheek-pinking preciousness. It's-- ᴗ(ᴗᏊ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> EVERYTHING...ray. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < The trainin' arc continues long into the night. Dice get rolled. Rays get deployed. Gygaax's hands never stop pettin'. (P1/P1, per @consequentlyOblique ) #SWATTPAD #Vacillation #Moirailookalikes #TheWholeParty #FullCampaign #NotEnoughInventorySpace #SFW #YouAreOverencumbered!!! #XReader #FriendFiction #CnC #CavernsAndCullbeasts #KRYQUS #ImpliedAU #GYGAAXxKRYQUS #MYSTERIOUSSTRANGERxKRYQUS #PALEMULTICLASS #AdventerrorsFieldGuide #CrossPosting #ScrawlThoughts #Drabbles #DubconPale #Polyquandary #TeamChud #Anonymous #Raycore #Rays #GygaaxXEveryone #Palewhoring #RayCulture #LordOfDoom #EarthK #InfinitelyManyRays #RayBans #HugRay #TrainingArc